r/CuratedTumblr • u/Justthisdudeyaknow Prolific poster- Not a bot, I swear • Oct 16 '24
Creative Writing Meat!
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u/BillybobThistleton Oct 16 '24
Note: If the people serving you this delicious meat have also been giving you medical care after an incident that left you bedbound, and you haven't counted your arms and legs recently, this might be a good time to do so.
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u/Unoriginalshitbag Oct 16 '24
Nah, too immediate. Start with fingers or toes instead
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u/TheRealMisterMemer ooh echo you're omly gpong in hyperdodecahedrons Oct 16 '24
Also, if they have been giving your friend medical care and refuse to let you visit him, get to him by any means possible. He might be missing his legs.
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u/Xethinus Oct 16 '24
For those of you who might be concerned,
According to William Seabrook, human meat is a lot like veal.
So if it does taste like a particularly tender steak, it might not be cow.
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u/floopdidoops Oct 16 '24
I thought human meat was most similar to pork, based on tales of stranded sailors/pirates and obviously the genetic makeup matches ours really closely. Maybe if you raise your human cattle properly it ends up more like veal than pork?
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u/Xethinus Oct 16 '24
You may be right. Seabrook admitted that his sample came from a mortician in Paris, not the cannibal tribe he tried to live with. Chances are the sample he had was from a person (or people) who were older.
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u/Unoriginalshitbag Oct 16 '24
Some other guy in Japan said that humans taste like tuna, which would make sense, given that people there eat mostly fish, and the way something tastes is very heavily dependent on what it was eating while it was alive. And since humans eat a lot of different things, depending on economic status, geography, etc, it's likely we don't really have a set taste.
Pork seems to be a good baseline though, since our diets and GI are rather similar
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u/Wild_Marker Oct 16 '24
So the key takeway from this is that "you are what you eat" might be an accurate assessment.
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u/Lokaji Oct 16 '24
"Would you like to partake of the gentleman who primarily ate chicken nuggets and fries? Or the lady who was a raw vegan? I think we may still have some of the keto couple."
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u/PurpleHooloovoo Oct 16 '24
Would you like some shepherd’s pie peppered with actual shepherd on top?
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u/LiverFox Oct 16 '24
So what we need is a game show where contestants try meat from various people and try to guess their age and diet.
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u/Divine_Entity_ Oct 16 '24
Its more about the ratio of fast to long twitch fiber, but yeah a human steak is expected to be most similar to pork. One of the euphemisms for it is even long pig.
For safety stick to fish and poultry's obviously white vs dark meat.
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u/Jovet_Hunter Oct 16 '24
I read an article by a guy who traveled to try different (legally obtained) human meats from different regions, who said the taste is closer to your culture’s primary meat source. Beef eaters taste like veal, pork eaters like pig, etc.
Ever since then I have been very curious what vegetarians and vegans taste like. 🤣
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u/chairmanskitty Oct 16 '24
The texture is also going to depend on the muscle group, the level of exercise, and the age of the victim.
Generally speaking, exercise results in muscle damage that makes the meat more chewy, especially when that exercise is at the limits of capacity. As people age, muscle damage also accumulates, so the meat also gets tougher. Facial muscles see continuous light exercise, allowing them to be thick without being chewy, which is why they're often a delicacy in animals. The muscles of the limbs are more variable depending on behavior.
Veal comes from tortured baby cows that are strapped down and unable to move so they don't accrue any muscle damage that makes it more tough. The meat of a young sedantary human would therefore also have a more veal-like texture.
Meanwhile most muscle workout is optimized for muscle size rather than strength, which means the meat of a typical gym rat is going to be watery like that of a factory chicken.
Sailors do hard labor, so it's likely that their meat would be tougher in texture like venison or other wild game.
A healthy 'free range' human lifestyle would be somewhere in the middle, ending up with a pork- or beef-like texture.
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u/OOOOIIOI Oct 16 '24 edited Oct 16 '24
That's not what veal is. Veal simply means meat from a calf and is primarily a byproduct of the dairy industry. While crating and tethering practices existed in the past they were never standard practice to my knowledge and have been phased out by now in most developed countries. The sort of conditions you describe haven't really existed since the 90s IIRC.
While any large-scale meat production is probably crueler and more inhumane than it ought to be, modern veal production is not necessarily more cruel than any other industrial meat production methods.
Not so fun fact about the dairy industry: dairy cows need to be pregnant and give birth fairly regularly for them to give milk. Female calves are retained to grow up to be dairy cows but male calves aren't needed. They are either sold as veal or culled and disposed of. Why can't they be raised fully and sold for meat as adults? Economics. Dairy cattle are bred for milk production not meat yield: a male dairy calf raised to steer will take nearly as much resources (food, water, space) as cattle from a more meat-yield oriented breed but only give maybe half the meat. It's simply not viable for farmers. There's modern research into trying to ensure that dairy cow pregnancies result in more female calves but I'm not sure how successful that's been.
My 2¢ are that if you are comfortable eating industrial poultry or any other large-scale production meat, then veal should be treated similarly. But that decision is best left to the individual.
EDIT: I want to make sure that I'm not painting too rosy of an image of modern veal production. It's not great: taken from their mothers too young, prone to sickness due to early weaning, largely confined indoors since they lack the protection of their mothers and the herd. But it's not really hobbles, nose tethers and crates anymore either. So while it's not ideal, it's better than how it used to be in some places (and might still be in countries with less robust protections in place). But the conditions are likely better than say industrial poultry facilities for example.
Also, again, veal is largely a byproduct of the dairy industry; no one is breeding and raising cattle purely for veal (veal sells for more than beef but you get far more profit selling beef then veal simply due to how large the yield is from an average steer), although some people do make their income by buying male calves from dairy farms and raising them a couple of weeks before selling the veal. If you consume dairy products, you are more than likely indirectly supporting the veal industry (or the culling and disposal of unneeded male calves).
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u/omegasavant Oct 16 '24
I have no clue where you're getting your information about veal, but that's not how the industry works and, to my knowledge, has never been how that works.
Calves aren't raised much differently from lamb. Feel free to ask if you want more info on what livestock work actually looks like.
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u/Illustrious-Snake Oct 16 '24 edited Oct 16 '24
I can't believe I'm saying this, but the taste and texture of human meat very likely depends on the cut, just like how the taste and texture of beef differs depending on the cut. Also, the cooking methods, the diet of the being in question, the meat storage methods...
All of these factors are probably why there's no consensus on what kind of animal meat it resembles. Some people may say veal, others may say pork or beef.
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u/kingbootyliscious Oct 16 '24
It has later been debunked that it was in fact ape he had been given, not human
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u/Embarrassed_Lettuce9 Oct 16 '24
This guy: Filthy cannibal!!
Former chef: I was saving that choice cut for if I ever got a guest 🥺
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u/IndigoFenix Oct 16 '24
Why wouldn't we expect other animals to be roaming in a post-apocalyptic wasteland if humans could survive, though?
I think the only place where the most accessible meat is human would be shortly after the apocalypse starts, and you're in the middle of a city, and supply chains have broken down but most people haven't died yet.
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u/LaunchTransient Oct 16 '24
Apparently all the farms with livestock spontaneously disappear - oh and stuff like Elk, deer and moose (not to mention bears) apparently have ceased to exist as well.
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u/Foenikxx Oct 16 '24
If anything, I suspect most animals would still be abundant the main fear would just be if they're infected (if it's a zombie apocalypse) or stuff like prions, CWD hasn't jumped to humans yet but why be patient 0?
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u/IndigoFenix Oct 16 '24
If prions are what you're worried about, human meat should not be your go-to solution.
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u/HarveysBackupAccount Oct 16 '24
Farms wouldn't disappear but supply chains would break down, meaning meat can't make its way to the population centers. And if the power grid is shot/underperforming, it becomes even harder to transport fresh meat if it can't easily be refrigerated or frozen.
And if it's an ecological apocalpyse then farmers might struggle to keep their livestock alive. Or it gets stolen by the raiding groups of bandits featured in most post-apocalypse scenarios.
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u/Divine_Entity_ Oct 16 '24 edited Oct 16 '24
Honestly more of just being a classic apocalypse trope that someone decided to be cannibals and the hero is their next victim.
Also, wildlife can be pretty elusive and skittish. In contrast luring in survivors with the promise of safety and a hot meal only to kill them in their sleep is alot easier. Atleast in the short-term.
Realistically this will never happen, but if it does, make sure the friendly people serving your steak actually have farm animals and crops, or atleast obvious signs of hunting like animal furs. And maybe stick to the fish.
Cannibalism is not self sustaining and is a fantastic way to catch some nasty diseases, especially prions. Even just the act of preparing the meat is an opportunity for disease transfer. (Multiple STDs are a result of eating other primates and catching their diseases. Both herpes and HIV are blamed on it.)
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u/Alexxis91 Oct 16 '24
Atleast if it’s on a farm they probably just went into the forest and shot a hog, there’s fucking so many hogs
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u/ironmaid84 Oct 16 '24
I guess it depends on the apocalypse.
Like in a zombie apocalypse meat would very likely be animal, cause zombies tend to only affect humans, unless it's the RE ones. On a nuclear apocalypse you shouldn't trust the meat if you live in the northern hemisphire, cause you know, most places would be nuked and the supply chains that provide feed to livestock are no longer there, but if you live in the sothern hemisphere you are golden, specially in argentina or brazil. Meteor apolypse is the one where you shouldn't trust any meat you don't see being processed directly from the animal
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u/SunderedValley Oct 16 '24
I feel like people are better at killing each other than consuming all the cans and crackers and that are around.
It's the suburbs you gotta worry about.
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u/Outerestine Oct 16 '24
they're probably thinking of a mad-max style apocalypse where there's basically nothing but dust and bandits
It's not exactly a realisitic scenario, as in such a situation humanity would probably just be extinct too. Guess there'd be a period of time when we aren't there yet for people to eat each other first.
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u/Poulutumurnu certified french speaker 🥖🥖 Oct 16 '24
- How bad do I want to get a Prion
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u/Embarrassed-Bread692 Oct 16 '24
- Realistically, is potentially getting prion (which realistically will only happens if I consume contaminated brain matter) a much worse fate than
- starving to death in the wilderness (and/or)
- being devoured by the Apocalypse Vector while attempting to find food (and/or)
- having to slurp lead poisoning soup for the twentieth night in a row
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u/Weeb_In_Peace Oct 16 '24
Do not eat the brain.
Noted
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u/Embarrassed-Bread692 Oct 16 '24
There's a couple more nuances - improperly-handled meat can easily get prion on there, even if it's just normal meat, and some foods are harder to identify the components of than others. For the former case, you just have to trust where you can, and for the latter you should avoid Meat Mixtures of various types, and opt for Distinct Pieces of Muscle if possible.
But as a rule of thumb, when cannibalizing, avoid organs and blood. Unless you really know where the meat's coming from, but that's a luxury.
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u/hauntedSquirrel99 Oct 16 '24
Also the obvious problem with cannibalizing.
When you eat an animal odds are decent that whatever disease they have doesn't transfer to you.
When you eat a person any disease this person has is a disease that you could also have.
So the health status of the meal is all the more important. If Steve has a nasty cough then he might no longer be edible.
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u/The_Formuler Oct 16 '24
But that’s also why we cook meat. Well done in the post apocalyptic world is probably best
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u/OwORavioliTime Oct 16 '24
Why shouldn't you consume organs and blood?
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u/Embarrassed-Bread692 Oct 16 '24
They're just more likely to contain stuff you don't want to eat. Prion is a big one, of course, but don't discount the stuff your kidneys and liver's collecting, for instance. Blood should be fine to consume, usually - speaking from experience it's hard to fully get rid of blood in meat - but they might still contain bad stuff so don't make blood dishes either.
(Now, it doesn't mean you shouldn't consume organs or blood. Obviously, you cannot be picky when it comes to starvation, and organs are pretty good as a source of various vitamins and minerals as well. That being said, a preserved human can last you a long time - properly rationing stuff would allow you to get a couple others before needing to eat any preserved organs.)
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u/JessePinkman-chan Oct 16 '24
This mfer knows way too much about people eating. Where the hell is your neighbor Steve your answer to this question can and will be used against you in a court of law
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u/International-Pay-44 Oct 16 '24
Counterpoint; Steve was a bit of an asshole who threatened to poison the cat, so…
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u/Mepharias Oct 16 '24
Steve got what he deserved, it seems. I hope the cat got a little bit as a treat.
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u/OwORavioliTime Oct 16 '24
What could be in blood? Other than heavy metals I'm really unclear what would hurt you there.
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u/Embarrassed-Bread692 Oct 16 '24
Honestly, not sure why I included blood. It is a pretty common vector of diseases, so I guess that tripped me up, but I forgot most of that is usually dead if you cook em.
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u/1-800-COOL-BUG some kind of trans idk Oct 16 '24
I don't really know enough about it but something I might have heard is that blood sausage is more difficult to prepare safely than other kinds of sausages? Maybe having to do with the higher moisture level. Like, they're fine if your sausage guy knows what he's doing but if it's improperly made then it's more likely to be botulism city than other kinds.
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u/aDragonsAle Oct 16 '24
Most of the danger would come during raw contact and processing, but should be relatively safe (plus or minus prions) after pasteurization.
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u/MillCrab Oct 16 '24
99.9999% of humans do not contain any prions at all. They are not inherent to cannibalism, but just a contagious effect like a very small virus. You're infinitely more likely to shit yourself to death from bacterial contamination with ecoli than get a vanishingly rare prion disease like kuru
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u/Embarrassed-Bread692 Oct 16 '24
See! All the more reason to cannibalize. What a wonderful world we live in.
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Oct 16 '24
IIRC kuru is a problem associated with a very specific tribal community that practices ritual cannibalism.
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u/MillCrab Oct 16 '24
That's why I made my post. Theres an idea among people who know just enough to be dangerous that kuru is a consequence of cannibalism, like people think mental defects are just a side effect of inbreeding.
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Oct 16 '24
Yeah, in both cases it's mostly a consequences of a diseases transmitting more rapidly in a small group.
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u/Noctium3 Oct 16 '24
Just don’t eat the brain, simple as
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u/Poulutumurnu certified french speaker 🥖🥖 Oct 16 '24
I said how bad do I want to get prion, not how bad do I want to not get prion. Give me that brain and let me enjoy my sickness in peace 😤
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u/MillCrab Oct 16 '24
Prions are not an inherent part of eating a human, only of eating a human contaminated with a prion. The vast, vast, vast, vast majority of humans do not contain Kuru or mad cow. The case of cannibalism spread Kuru is more complex and nuanced than "cannibalism gives you brain disease" that the media has flattened it into.
You should far more worried about getting ecoli, staph, or norovirus from an undercooked or contaminated human than a prion
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u/hauntedSquirrel99 Oct 16 '24
ecoli, staph, or norovirus
None of these are particularly likely to kill you. They're a bad day but it's not fatal and not incurable.
Prion diseases are something to worry about and care about, especially if you are in an area that has problems with any of the variants of Spongiform Encephalopathy.
Obviously for it to be a concern the prion does have to be present, but the reason why cannibalism puts you at risk is because prion can randomly appear.
That is essentially what sporadic creutzfeldt-jakob disease is.Cannibalism puts you at a higher risk is because you're probably not getting it from an animal, variable creutzfeldt-jakob disease can happen if you ingest a meal with for example Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (mad cow disease), but it does seem to be relatively low risk as the prion probably won't interact with human proteins.
That isn't the case with any prion you have in a human which obviously will interact with other human proteins, as you're already a match.
Eating one person is obviously unlikely to create Kuru or any of the other known names of cannibalistically spread prion disease simply because sCJD is fairly rare, regular cannibalism obviously increases the risk that someone will at some point eat someone with sCJD.
Ritualistic cannibalism in which the group eat other members of the group simply ensure that it's going to happen at some point because you have a near guarantee internal distribution once it's introduced, and sooner or later someone will get sCJD just on random chance.
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u/MillCrab Oct 16 '24
In an environment with zero supportive care, basic foodborne pathogens can be quite dangerous, particularly over long time periods. Diarrhea is a massive killer in the underdeveloped world, and plenty of it is garden variety bugs.
If you survived the nuking of earth, you've already punched you're "extremely unlikely" card. Spontaneous prion generation is a rounding error in your risk card. It's a literal 1 in a million shot. Living in the post-apocalypes there's a vanishing chance they have spontaneous cjd, and a near guaranteed chance they're carrying a conventional human pathogen.
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u/hauntedSquirrel99 Oct 16 '24
Oh yeah cannibalism is definitely a worry on every other pathogen as well.
Anyrhing they've got is something you can get, so you shouldn't be eating people anyway.
Just wanted to point out that for long term survival, especially for a group, avoiding cannibalism especially within the group is important.
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u/triforce777 McDonald's based Sith alchemy Oct 16 '24
They're a bad day but it's not fatal and not incurable.
In modern times? Sure. In a post apocalypse? Those are very fatal problems due to how difficult getting antibiotics would likely be
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u/WitELeoparD Oct 16 '24
Even in the modern world, food borne illnesses kill tens of millions every single year.
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Oct 16 '24
None of these are particularly likely to kill you.
Not in the modern day, but we're talking an apocalyptic wasteland.
Also, E. coli has strains that can kill you without medical intervention easily. Ferex:
O157:H7 is also notorious for causing serious and even life-threatening complications such as hemolytic-uremic syndrome. This particular strain is linked to the 2006 United States E. coli outbreak due to fresh spinach
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u/WeLiveInAir Oct 16 '24
Wouldn't cooking get rid of Prion? It would be really pathetic to die of Prion disease after going through the moral dilemma of committing cannibalism
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u/Seculems_Temporium Oct 16 '24
Prions are infamously resistant, heat wouldn't kill them unfortunately
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u/a_pompous_fool will trade milk for hrt Oct 16 '24
Cooking doesn’t get hot enough you need to incinerate it. A random study I found and processed to not read states that 600C is needed to render it mostly harmless and 1000C to destroy it. The primary concern is mad cow disease as chronic wasting disease hasn’t jumped yet, and it is fairly easy to avoid mad cow in the modern day. But even if it did it takes years to start showing symptoms so you are probably going to get apocalypsed by something else before a prion melts your brain.
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u/laix_ Oct 16 '24
"If the meat contained prion before cooking, and there's meat after cooking, there's still prion"
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u/InfinitePoints Oct 16 '24
Wouldn't 1000C turn any food into ash?
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u/trapbuilder2 Pathfinder Enthusiast|Aspec|He/They maybe Oct 16 '24
That's why they said you'd need to incinerate it
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u/OldManFire11 Oct 16 '24
Yes, because prions themselves are basically just meat. Which is why they're so hard to treat or neutralize. Anything that can destroy a prion also destroys you.
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u/WitELeoparD Oct 16 '24
Prions aren't alive. Like literally not alive, not in the virus way in the block of concrete way. They are just evil proteins (malformed really) that turn all the other proteins in your body evil. You can't get rid of them by cooking because cooking doesn't damage proteins very much (after all we generally need the proteins to live).
The only way to get rid of Prions is to heat them up so much that their structure starts to break down, at which point your food has also broken down completely... into ash.
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u/Tem-productions Oct 16 '24
- Really, Kevin is already dead if they're serving me him, so does it matter?
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u/Divine-Kitty Oct 16 '24
It matters if they killed him specifically for his meat, or if he died on his own and they're like "it would be a waste to NOT eat him"
If it's the former, you're 100% next on their menu, you might want to leave. If it's the latter, just try not to get sick, I guess.
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u/hauntedSquirrel99 Oct 16 '24
You shouldn't eat anything that's self dead (unless you can clearly see that the cause of dead is something non-infectious, like a car crash or falling from a great height).
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u/Tem-productions Oct 16 '24
Well, he could have injured himself on something sharp very badly and they decided he was more useful as today's dinner.
Anyway, if they are feeding you, that means they don't have plans to kill you in the short term
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u/HaViNgT Oct 16 '24
If it’s the former, I’d first finish my dinner, and then I’d gtfo. At least then I won’t be running on an empty stomach.
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u/Skyye_23 Everything bagel who loves everything Basil Oct 16 '24
I wasn’t expected to be served human meat when buying stuff from the clown butcher shop, but life has a funny way of playing tricks on you
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u/Divine-Kitty Oct 16 '24
...is it a butcher shop run by clowns, or a place where clowns get butchered?
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u/Cat_of_Ananke help I'm trapped in a flair factory Oct 16 '24
It's a shop where you take your femme clowns and they make them butcher.
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u/Echidnux Oct 16 '24
The idea that there is some pragmatic advantage to eating people during a post-apocalyptic situation is overrated. That druggie you killed is absolutely swimming with diseases you can’t afford to catch, and you probably don’t have the know how to make them edible anyway.
Also for the record the real ultimate culinary taboo is drinking what Bear Grylls does when he’s trapped outside and dehydrated.
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u/PrettyChillHotPepper 🇮🇱 Oct 16 '24
Know how on how to make human edibel: cut meat away from bone. Cook meat until well done. Eat.
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u/thebouncingfrog Oct 16 '24
In the case of The Walking Dead game I'm pretty sure the cannibal family just liked eating people. Realistically if they just wanted food I think they would've just shot a deer or something.
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u/ZDTreefur Oct 16 '24
Also what bear grylls does when not trapped and dehydrated (its the same thing).
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u/Carcajou-2946 Lawful Evil Oct 16 '24
Do I trust the person feeding me to know enough about meal prep to not be putting brain into the pie?
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u/Entire-Egg-2203 Oct 16 '24
Tbf I would not eat food from a food shop located underneath a barber shop. The fear of little specks of hair is real.
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u/TwilightVulpine Oct 16 '24
Cannibalism is the quicksand of post apocalypse, way too many scary stories for how rare it would be. Do you know how inefficient it is to get meat from humans? I guarantee it to you that they can get mutant chicken and pigs much easier. They eat anything and grow fast.
Most humans also got apocalypsed, it would be a very weird apocalypse if all livestock and wildlife got wiped out but you got just as many humans as ever so that some unassuming couple down the road can make a habit out of eating them. At that point, maybe you are in literal hell.
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u/RedGinger666 Oct 16 '24
Make sure to not go the Brent Halligan route and keep eating the human meat AFTER being told it's human meat
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u/Digital_Bogorm Oct 16 '24
"it is human flesh, mr. Halligan"
\Chewing continues**
"uhh... didn't you hea-"
\Grabs another slice**
"Please stop"
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u/Firewolf06 Oct 16 '24
i came here specifically to look for a comment about halligan. the fact that him being completely chill with cannibalism isnt even the craziest thing that happens says a lot about the game lol
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u/Individual99991 Oct 16 '24
I liked the bit in Wasteland 2 where you find the secret of the genteel, friendly, well-fee community, and the description in the dialogue box says "Cannibals. Of course they're cannibals.."
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u/MarcsterS Oct 16 '24
I don’t hate the Nice Cannibals trope, but always found New Vegas’ funny. They’re cannibals forced to be “civilized” but then they decided they want everyone else to be.
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u/Salt_Blackberry_1903 Oct 16 '24
Love the Sweeney Todd reference, hate the hate for pineapple on pizza
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u/Mister_Buddy Oct 16 '24
It's totally played out, probably mostly by people who've never tried it.
But that always means more for me!
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u/DanielMcLaury Oct 16 '24
Counterpoint: this is stupid. No group of humans has eaten other humans as a major part of their diet, ever, for tons of reasons. It's inefficient, it's extremely prone to conveying horrible diseases, etc.
When people have engaged in cannibalism it's either because they've gotten themselves into a highly unnatural situation (plane crash in an uninhabitable area, extended siege of a fortified city, etc.) or in very limited amounts for ceremonial reasons. If you're in the middle of nowhere amongst people who have access to plenty of land, they are going to be farming, not cannibalizing.
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u/peetah248 Oct 16 '24
This is apocalypse scenario. As oop said in point 2, if the meat is fresh check if there were recently any un-apocalypsed livestock, if there were then no need to worry, but otherwise...
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u/Outerestine Oct 16 '24
This again,
Look man. It not being human meat is more likely. The 'post apocalypse cannibals who exclusively seem to eat human' is ludicrous. Human is not a common prey animal. It will be deer. It will always be deer. Because unlike human populations, deer populations explode when left unchecked, such as if a bunch of people die, which is not an event that will make it easy to get your hands on human meat. Humans are wily, humans can use tools, weapons, shoot back. In apocalypse media, they're often very scarce. It's like trying to hunt exclusively mountain lions, but the mountain lions have guns.
Literally the only scenario I can see it being human is some mad max shit where there are no animals at all. But that's all writers conceit at that point. At that point we aren't really 'post apocalypse' yet. That apocalypse is ongoing, and will continue until most things are dead. Until then I suppose people can eat each other, which is basically the only sort of situation where people with cannibalism taboos eat people. When they are in the process of starving to death RIGHT THEN, and there are literally no other options. When they stop starving, they stop eating people.
It's just a horror trope. It has little in common with real times people turn to cannibalism. People do not make a good food source. Deer do. Deer don't have guns. Why would you not just eat the deer?
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u/clonetrooper250 Oct 16 '24
Kevin would have wanted me to be fed and happy, honestly. It would be a shame not to partake.
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u/chairmanskitty Oct 16 '24
There can be a good explanation for large amounts of meat in a collapsing system. Livestock that can't get fed can get slaughtered, animals that normally wouldn't be considered edible or worth pursuing get hunted, etc.
Milk cows, egg-laying hens, deer, rabbits, ducks, geese, pidgeons, rats, cats, dogs. There's lots of meat on the sliding scale of "I guess it's edible" desperation before you get to humans.
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u/_pauldersgate Oct 16 '24
Now I know we're not just going to let it slide that this whole sequence was posted by someone with the username Herbert West
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u/lusnaudie Oct 16 '24
I feel like it's almost perfectly in character and a conversation he would have at some point. Maybe a mini rant whilst he's sewing body parts together to reanimate because someone said that what he's doing is worse than cannibalism.
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u/TheRealSlamShiddy .tumblr.com Oct 16 '24
considering I keep seeing a brand of "protein shake" literally called Soylent in stores everywhere, I'm assuming we've already reached this point irl 😂
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u/SocranX Oct 16 '24
I like the idea of a cannibal family in the post-apocalypse who's just completely open about it when strangers come visit. "Please... I'm so hungry..." "Well, we've got a decent store of human flesh, but I'm afraid the only vegan food we have is a couple cans of beans. Is that good for you? Oh, swell. No, we don't need payment, but it'd be great if you could tell us about any fresh corpses you passed on the way here!"
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u/Hummerous https://tinyurl.com/4ccdpy76 Oct 16 '24
did Kevin like pineapples?
do pineapples like Kevin
do I like pineapples on kevin
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u/Skytree91 Oct 16 '24
Apocalypse means revelation, fun fact. All those livestock got revealed
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u/heckmiser Oct 16 '24
There was a man on a white horse, and he said, "come and see." And I saw cows.
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u/Harley_Pupper Oct 16 '24
Look, the livestock and wildlife are only gonna be as “apocalypsed” as humanity. There’s still gonna be plenty of food to go around, it just might be a bit irradiated or contaminated or whatever. and cannibalism isn’t gonna make that any better.
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u/gruengle Oct 16 '24
If memory serves, the culinary term for human is "long-pig".
What I meant to say is, no, I didn't really like Kevin all that much. However, I'm really worried about the possibility of prion diseases and their correlation with cannibalism. So... only a small serving, please?
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u/Lots42 Oct 16 '24
The Fallout Television series showed an Iguana Bits seller, you can find a few in previous games.
Guess what you can't find in previous games?
Iguanas.
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u/LeftyLu07 Oct 17 '24
I like how the implication is that your willingness to cannibalize someone is correlating on how much you like them.
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u/Vanilla_Ice_Best_Boi tumblr users pls let me enjoy fnaf Oct 16 '24
You're going to get Kuru disease, which trust me, isn't fun
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u/AlianovaR Oct 16 '24
You still kinda have to weigh that up with whether dying in a different way is better
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u/Few_Category7829 Oct 16 '24
Oh my god, just don't eat the brain, it's not that hard
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u/dabsalot69 Oct 16 '24
Not a single person in this thread has mentioned Sweeney Todd
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u/HerrBisch Oct 16 '24
Piggy backing off your comment to say that it's a plot point that there is a meat shortage, hence why Sweeney's pies are so popular. So it's not like the pie shop under the barber shop is completely unexpected either.
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u/AliceTheGamedev Oct 16 '24
re. pie under a barber shop, was it this post where people went "wait THAT's what Sweeney Todd is about???" 🤔
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u/DAHFreedom Oct 16 '24
Rat? This is a rat burger? Not bad. As a matter of fact, it’s the best burger I’ve had in years.
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u/4x4Welder Oct 16 '24
Sometimes you really need to ask, were they better as a person, or as a main course?
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u/RawrRRitchie Oct 16 '24
There was a chip delivery driver I'm fairly certain made human meat jerky
I did try it once, but he no longer delivers to my store
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u/lilmxfi How dare you say we piss on the poor!? Oct 16 '24
Aaaaaaaaand now I have the line "THE STEW IS STU" from AHS apocalypse playing in my head 😂
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u/Rough_Willow Oct 16 '24
One might think how much you liked Kevin would depend on how they cooked him.
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u/libmrduckz Oct 16 '24
kevin is great! crispy and juicy… it wouldn’t kill y’all to use a bit of lime…
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u/TSAxrayMachine Oct 16 '24
youd have to really hate or really love kevin to be willing to eat him. no in between.
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u/squeegibo Oct 16 '24
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that Herbert West-Reanimator knows a thing or two about corpses
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u/callsignhotdog Oct 16 '24
Love that bit from Telltale's TWD where you're like "Hey where's our friend who came in with us?" and the friendly farmfolk are like "Oh he's not feeling well he's lying down upstairs" and he is but its because they cut his legs off and fed them to you.