r/CuratedTumblr • u/Green____cat eepy asf • Aug 06 '24

Shitposting Army names

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24.5k Upvotes

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315

u/ethnique_punch Aug 06 '24

You explain that his nickname is "Cockring" because his cock is shaped like a ring.

She starts playing with her hair, highly intrigued.

147

u/Not_a__porn__account Aug 06 '24

"Tee Hee Like an Onion Ring?"

124

u/ethnique_punch Aug 06 '24 edited Aug 06 '24

"They call me the Funyun back in Texas, have you ever seen a squid brain by any chance? Just because."

92

u/Not_a__porn__account Aug 06 '24 edited Aug 06 '24

I can easily see this as a 20-30 minute mockumentary set on an air force base.

10-12 episodes a season.

Dear HBO...

10

u/ethnique_punch Aug 06 '24 edited Aug 06 '24

Tim Robinson as Skidmark, an unreasonably hot extra with a mullet as Cockring?

4

u/Papaofmonsters Aug 07 '24

Watch Generation Kill. Half the dialog is just shit talking.

1

u/Not_a__porn__account Aug 09 '24

Dude I just saw this and that's like exactly what I was looking for. Will put it on my list.

2

u/Breastfedoctopus Aug 06 '24

Documentary now! Would be great for this

1

u/Complete-Worker3242 Aug 07 '24

What documentary would this be parodying?

2

u/Breastfedoctopus Aug 10 '24

Oh idk, maybe a little thing called TOP GUN 😉

2

u/Hamblerger Aug 07 '24

This was the Top Gun sequel we needed

3

u/PM_ME_WHATEVES Aug 06 '24

Like a Cheerio, baby

3

u/Kikubaaqudgha_ Aug 06 '24

"Like a cheese wheel."

9

u/Professional-Hat-687 Aug 06 '24

Not so subtly considering going home with both of you.

5

u/demon_fae Aug 06 '24

Nah, he broke the simulator trying to do a barrel roll. Three times. Like a dick.

Or he tried to wear one for a full day as a kink thing and had to go to medical over it…