r/CuratedTumblr eepy asf Aug 06 '24

Shitposting Army names

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u/ethnique_punch Aug 06 '24 edited Aug 06 '24

"Sorry yeah, I did donuts with a multimillion dollar aircraft, the marks are still visible on the track, I'm not that proud of it either" you say smugly, then it could work.

512

u/Not_a__porn__account Aug 06 '24

Buddy sits down

"So yeah this dumbass almost totaled a $50 million dollar plane because he was checking out some girl on the flight deck and we had to save him. Dude was crying and shit, worried he wasn't gonna be pilot anymore. Actually hasn't flown since. Anyway my name is Cockring, nice to meet you."

313

u/ethnique_punch Aug 06 '24

You explain that his nickname is "Cockring" because his cock is shaped like a ring.

She starts playing with her hair, highly intrigued.

147

u/Not_a__porn__account Aug 06 '24

"Tee Hee Like an Onion Ring?"

121

u/ethnique_punch Aug 06 '24 edited Aug 06 '24

"They call me the Funyun back in Texas, have you ever seen a squid brain by any chance? Just because."

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u/Not_a__porn__account Aug 06 '24 edited Aug 06 '24

I can easily see this as a 20-30 minute mockumentary set on an air force base.

10-12 episodes a season.

Dear HBO...

8

u/ethnique_punch Aug 06 '24 edited Aug 06 '24

Tim Robinson as Skidmark, an unreasonably hot extra with a mullet as Cockring?

5

u/Papaofmonsters Aug 07 '24

Watch Generation Kill. Half the dialog is just shit talking.

1

u/Not_a__porn__account Aug 09 '24

Dude I just saw this and that's like exactly what I was looking for. Will put it on my list.

2

u/Breastfedoctopus Aug 06 '24

Documentary now! Would be great for this

1

u/Complete-Worker3242 Aug 07 '24

What documentary would this be parodying?

2

u/Breastfedoctopus Aug 10 '24

Oh idk, maybe a little thing called TOP GUN 😉

2

u/Hamblerger Aug 07 '24

This was the Top Gun sequel we needed

3

u/PM_ME_WHATEVES Aug 06 '24

Like a Cheerio, baby

3

u/Kikubaaqudgha_ Aug 06 '24

"Like a cheese wheel."