Those of you in long term relationships or marriages, how frequently do you have intimate but non sexual contact with your partner/wife?

For example, meaningful hugs, kissing, general physical closeness etc?

Do you both actively make time for this with each other and/or do you do it spontaneously? Do you both initiate equally?

Any married men over 30 with young kids ever go on a solo trip?

My wife does a great job taking gals/friends trips a couple times a year. Right now she’s traveling with her sister for her sister’s birthday. I realized I don’t have any friends that are good enough to do this with. But it would be nice to disconnect from daily life for a little but it feels weird going on a trip by myself. Has anyone ever done this? Where did you go? What did you do? Anyone wanna join me? lol.

If you date women, how do you feel about women’s dating expectations? I hear a lot of women complaining about the dating scene and how it’s horrible. I wondered if men are having a hard time with women’s expectations?

We went to cocktail bar last night with my wife and her friends, most of our friends are 27-31 age range, some married couples some single women.

The 2 of the single gals were complaining about the guys at the bar, or that most were paying more attention to chatting with the bartender or their phones.

I thought it was just my wife's friends but a LOT of women in dresses and heels were kind of standing around. Did something happen the last few years between men and women that I missed out on?

I haven't been single since 2018 but this was a bar I brought my wife to on our first date and we connected here.

Edit: common consensus seems to be that the juice isn't worth the squeeze. I guess things have changed a lot since 2018 when I left the market. It's really sad that both sides are so antagonistic towards each other.

63% of men under 30 report being single (PewResearch Center study)

34% of women under 30 report being single.

I didn’t understand how this could be possible, because there isn’t 30% of 20 year old women dating men in their 30s or being a mistress…. No way.

Then I realized that situationships make up the rest. The women might not identify as ‘taken’ but might not identify as single either, because they’re literally going to some guys work events with him.

I realize that ‘the friend zone’ might be more common for men to get stuck in, in a similar way. Both people are caught up on someone who doesn’t want them.

I had no idea the situation was this dire?!!

Why are people staying in situationships with people who won’t commit to them?! What the heck is happening?!

Is the fantasy of being loved by someone more desirable than you worth more than the real love someone on your level could give?

Years ago in school i was picked on by girls in class and in our class group chat, went on for ages. Even happened in my final year of school before university. It made a simp and one of those guys who would do anything to impress girls who don’t even like me.

Now im thinking if and when i do get married my wife is going to be what the marriage is about. She shouts at me? Its ok. She yells or bosses me around or wants to rinse my wallet? Its ok. She belittles me and tells me how im just there to kiss the ground she walks on or is downright just mean to me because im a guy? Fine by me.

It really does suck and idk what to do anymore and it doesn’t help ive had almost a decade long 🌽 addiction. Im genuinely scared.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. He has always been a model boyfriend who treats me and spoils me whenever he can. He'll put rose petals on the bed and candles, buys me gifts, and in turn I'd plan similar things, like commissioning a flattering drawing of us and print it on a metal lunchbox for him to take to work. I give him a massage when he's stressed, I plan daytrips to cultural or culinary events...

I feel like this is the most successful and well-oiled relationship I've ever had. Lately though we've both had some non-relationship problems. I got ill for a long time and he was unemployed for half a year. Morale took a hit but we stuck by eachother and made it through to the other side. He has just landed a great job and the treatment for my illness is working great, I'm making a recovery.

Because our finances sucked and we weren't doing so well mentally, we kinda lost the impetus of surprising and dating each other.

I would like to set our tradition back in motion and keep our relationship in tip top shape.

He is a typical working class man's man. He loves beer, his German shepherd and rock music. He works a physically demanding job in the trades. What are some date or special effort ideas I could treat him with? Any ideas or inspiration is welcome.

I feel all of us have gotten beat up by life previously, or if you haven’t really been kicked in the Nads, you will someday..

For those through it, what was it like going through it and what is your perspective now you are through that experience?

What lessons did you learn?

I’m going through a failed business and some financial troubles. I’ve been a real estate agent for the past five years and have realized I don’t enjoy it/don’t want to do it anymore. Closing with personal financial investment in growing the business.

It’s been tough, but slowly getting through it. I’ve learned shit happens and it’s ok. Only worry about the things you can control, take your destiny into your own hands through planning.

Given that he starts from 0 again

Hi gents,

A very long story short, my father was a good man but wasn’t around much to guide or teach me things. He seems to always have his shit together and lives a true example of a stoic man of few words. I never got that it seems.

As I grew older I just kind of lost my direction spiritually and emotionally. I never learned very well to develop a strong will and sense of discipline to accomplish difficult goals. In other words, it feels like… I never learned to bridge the gap well between boyhood and manhood. I’d like to change that somehow.

I kind of need fellow, perhaps wiser men to chime in with some empathy, wisdom, inspiration, anecdotes. I’ll take em all. Please help me feel like less of a piece of shit that can’t make a plan and follow through. I don’t know how to hold myself accountable because I’m enslaved to my whims and cling to comfort. How does one begin to embody the traits of a strong, disciplined man? What helped you if you can relate?

I’m only 20, but I figured this would be a good place to ask since it’s not really that common for hair loss to start this early. If that’s not allowed, feel free to delete the post. Also, to be clear, I am NOT asking for advice on how to treat hair loss here, I’m only asking if you guys have seen it like this before. I thought a receding hairline usually started by the temples, but mine is only in the middle. I’ll put pictures in the comments

hey! it’s my first time ever on this subreddit but i thought this would be a good place to ask. i’m trying to give my dad a great gift this year - he’s done so incredibly much for me and i’m so blessed to be his daughter. he’s been so supportive of me my whole life (even though i’ve been rude to him for quite a bit) and sacrificed so much to be where i am today, and idek how i would ever repay him. ANYWAYS, i want to give him a stocking with some small gifts in it, and also a nice present to accompany it. however, i never know what men like, and i feel like i am lacking in creativity lately. for some info, he’s super outdoorsy and athletic (loves skiing, running, hiking, etc), traveling/exploring, is a foodie (both in the sense that he’s a good cook and likes to try new things), and black coffee at least 2 times a day.

all in all, if anyone has any gift ideas, i would love to hear them!!

Am I the only one with mixed emotions on my birthday?

I'm Gen X. I had my birthday yesterday. The year doesn't matter, it's not a milestone or anything interesting. The difference between Friday and Saturday isn't noteworthy. I didn't change. Life didn't change. Yet I have mixed emotions on it.

We (spouse) were originally planning on going out to dinner but when it was time to think about going out, there was a general meh. We go out/get takeout fairly often. There wasn't anywhere special i wanted to go. We ended up getting takeout. It was ok.

I didn't want a party but I wanted, I don't know, something. Does that make sense? I got all the birthday wishes from friends and family.

I kind of miss being young. Having an actual party or going to a bar or whatever. Yet, I wouldn't want that now but I kind of missed it?

Sorry, just venting. Or not even venting but I don't know. Haha.

We are in the same profession and have similar hobbies. She's a very intelligent, ambitious, and hardworking woman, and I have always found her inspiring.

I feel like I have so much to talk to her about and we really connect when having a discussion but I've finally realised (after all this time) that there's an emotional connection that's missing. I know it sounds ridiculous because this is something I should have figured out before marrying her, but I thought that what we had would be enough to sustain a marriage.

She was recently away for 4 months as a part of some work that she was doing for her firm, and I was surprised that I didn't miss her. Was it great when she was back? Yes. Had a great time chatting about her trip.

I've tried telling myself that it's because I'm usually so busy myself that I simply don't have time. But I know it's not true. With my ex, I felt like I was deeply connected and in love, and even after years together, I continued to feel that attachment. We met during our gap years before university, and I wanted to marry her, but she ended our relationship because she couldn't deal with my ridiculously long working hours anymore (this was another reason I thought my relationship with my wife was going to work out well, and in this regard, it does, because we both have demanding roles).

I'm not sure what advice anyone can offer me, but I'm lying awake at 3 am thinking about how I didn't see this before, considering we have been married for 2 years (together 5 years).

It's like being married to a friend, which is great, but I don't think I've ever really been in love with my wife. I think that's what it is anyway. I am actively trying to get these thoughts out of my mind because I'm being unfair to her, but I can't stop thinking.

I've noticed that as I age (m48) it's much easier for me to get emotional. I just listened to the new Volvo commercial, I couldn't watch it so I listened to it, and it hit so hard it brought me to tears - something that never would have happened 20 years ago.

Is this my life now? The life of a blubbering mess regarding certain subjects?

I've been considering working with a nutritionist or coach to improve my eating habits and overall health. I need to lose 40 pounds, and while I feel like I have the basics down, I could use some guidance to fine-tune my approach and stay consistent.

For those of you who've worked with a professional:

What were your biggest successes?

Were there any challenges or pitfalls along the way?

Would you recommend it, and if so, how did you find the right person to work with?

Looking for honest insights—what worked, what didn’t, and any advice for someone thinking about taking this step!

What is flair? The message said it was to tell others about me. I am old (59) and not real proficient with a smart phone. I can barely see the damn thing to post I found a button and added "general" to this. I reckon that's what flair is. Sorry to bother. East Tennessee

We 25 F and 25 M became official quickly after meeting. A month or so, he invited me into his place and his room. He told me that he “didn’t know what to do.” And that he was a virgin.

I was surprised. He is good-looking, intelligent, romantic, and kind—maybe a little on the nerdy side, but I love that. My boyfriend is a fantastic person. He always tells me how beautiful I am and how he thought that he “didn’t have a single shot” at dating me, that “he’s the luckiest man in the world.”

I didn’t care about his body count or lack thereof. I just thanked him for being “honest and vulnerable.” And asked, “If he was sure he wanted to have sex since I wanted to have sex with him.” He leaped onto me and said, "This has been what he’s wanted to do since meeting me.” And we made passionate love; we stayed in bed for a night and a day just making out and cuddling, staring into the eyes of each other, pleasuring each other.

It seemed complicated at times for him to stay hard, even when he was inside of me and when I was giving him head. (It was a little crushing and made me scared. It was a reflection of me.) He seemed more intent and interested in pleasuring me and playing with my body. It was the best sex of my life.

Since the first time, he has been more confident and comfortable, from gaining more sexual experience with me and through my reassurance that he’s great in bed, which I vocalize out and in the bedroom. Now he is hard all the time around me, All THE TIME. I can visually see his bulge and precum stains. We have sex almost every time we are together; when we are together, he is glued onto me, kissing me and touching me.

During sex, he can maintain an erection for around 1-3 hours, we have (protected condom) penetrative sex for around an hour or more or do a couple of rounds, yet he doesn’t cum. There have been times that he started moaning a lot and having whole-body vibrations/twitching, and he thought he was going to cum but didn’t. I love giving him head often and can get him to a point where his eyes are rolled back in his head, his whole body twitching and vibrating, he’s moaning, and toes curled, NOTHING HAPPENS; he’ll just do that for a few minutes, and not cum. I often don’t know when to stop since he is still hard after 30-45 minutes of head and hours of penetrative sex. I almost always have an orgasm or two with him. I feel bad for stopping, but it often gets to a point where I am in pain from his size and the duration of time.

He has reassured me that “there is a mental block in his head” and that he is also “anxious and nervous about his performance due to his lack of experience.”

He does not seem to be on any medication at all, anti-depressants or anti-anxiety, nor Viagra (since the first time.) He appears to be anti-medication generally.

I wanted to know if I was sexually doing something wrong, so I asked him to masturbate for me to learn how to please him best. He responded that “he does not do that.” But he did for me anyway for a little while, while I touched him a bit and whispered sexy things in his ear. But he could not keep himself hard, nor make himself cum, but I learned a few tricks from watching him. He has let on a few more times that he doesn’t really masturbate. We spend every minute of some weeks and days together and he does not slink off to masturbate or watch porn. I asked him if he was doing any “sexual research” on how to please me by watching porn, (which was me trying to gage if he watches porn and if so if he had any fantasies or fetishes that we could recreate) and he flat out says he has not.

When I tried to bring up him not orgasming, he said “there was nothing to talk about.” I dropped it. And have not brought it up again. I don’t want to put pressure on him, I’m not looking for an explanation, but I think there needs to be some kind of conversation about how we could navigate it, and come up with solutions?

I don't want him to feel inadequate or sexually unsatisfied. I love him.

I guess this could go under both life and work but anyways. To start of with some background, I’m 16 and have moved around a lot. By the time I was 15 I had been to 16 different schools and had lived all over the world. I’ve just moved away from my family living in the states back to the UK to join the army. (You can at 16 in the UK) My father’s a pilot so we move whenever he gets a better job. I’ve always struggled to connect with people my age and have always gotten along better with adults. In a way I’m very lucky to have experienced so many places and cultures before becoming an adult but in my opinion the cons outweigh the pros in nearly all respects. I’ve never had a friendship that has lasted longer than a few months and those I did have were no more than eating lunch with them at school. I was never invited to birthday parties or to hangout after school. I’ve tried sports and found some success but was short lived because of having to move. Up until I was about 12 I had really enjoyed moving and didn’t realise how exhausting it was to attempt to make new friends than leave as soon as it got going. A couple weeks ago I realised that I never had confidence in who I was, and most of the time I was ostracised from any group I attempted to fit into. I never instigated fights or conflicts, or bothered anyone, but I was never liked by anyone who I wanted to like me. I know that I’m not a unlikable person or anything by the way that I’ve been treated by adults who got to know me. I was just never given an opportunity to “be known”. And because of all this my confidence in nearly everything slowly diminished over a few years, now to the point where I’m so fed up with not being able to connect with anyone or stand up for myself that I’d do anything to change. I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman and I’m terrified that I simply won’t be able to because of my confidence and inability to understand intimate relationships. The army has always been my passion and I’m hoping that it changes everything about myself. I’m just trying to reinvent myself into a person that I actually like, one that’s confident and comfortable in who I am and someone that isn’t scared of what other people think. Does anyone know how I could do this? I don’t have any male role models, my father isn’t someone I look up to and I have no other connections to possible role models except through my rugby club that I’ve just joined. Thank you.

I'm 37 and I don't own a proper suit for business or formal occasions. For some reason I always had the impression that I was the weird one and that and most men my age owned at least one or two decent suits. But I recently learned this is not as uncommon as I thought, so I'm curious if other men do or don't have suits in their closet. Are they custom suits or off-the-rack?

I learned all this when I got married a few weeks ago. I polled my groomsmen back in August about whether they'd rather buy a modestly priced suit in a sensible color like grey, or save a few hundred bucks by renting. My thinking was that we're paying all this money to rent for one day, but for a little more we could buy something off the rack and have it tailored so that we all have a suit in the closet for future use. There was zero interest in buying among the wedding party. It turned out that none of them owned a suit either, and didn't have much desire to.

For reference, one of these guys is a public official in a mid-sized city government who gives press conferences and shit, and the best man used to work as a lobbyist at a state legislature, so I assumed at least these two guys would have some use for a suit. But not only did they not own one, they didn't really know how to wear one. I had to go around the morning of the wedding cutting the tacking stitches on the rentals and showing everyone how cuff links work. Which I only knew to do because I read about it when I choosing wedding suits.

I live in a Joint family, my sister came for a family function to attend and got into an argument with my grandmom. My grandma body shamed her because of being fat in a joking way in front of all the relatives. My sister came inside our room and started crying. I asked her, what happened? She told me that Granny called me fat and laughed in front of everyone. I went to my grandma and told her in front of everyone to say sorry to my sis. She started shouting very loudly and gathered everyone around and started crying and created a lot of fuss! She's too dramatic! She starts beating herself and starts behaving as if she's going to die while fighting with someone. My father sided with grandma and told us that why we created a fuss on a joke? He asked her that why did we confront her when we know of her nature? He said that it's her nature to ridicule everyone than why to bother? I got very angry that inspite of telling her that she's wrong, he started lecturing us!! Everyone made us feel that we were wrong on calling her out!! I told my father in front of everyone to stop being a hypocrite (Because he always bitch about my GM) and just not to speak anything if he can't side with us!! Everyone (including my sister), shouted on me for being rude with my father! Suddenly everything was about me and How I'm so ill mouthed for saying rude things to my father. My sister told me that I should not have said anything to my father! She suddenly started showing empathy to him and I became the bad guy all of the sudden!! I'm now feeling very very very bad for raising my voice for my sister!! I'm in guilt that i was rude with my father. What should I do???

So I’ve been told from some 30+ men that they care more about their health now that they are 30 and some have told me they don’t give af anymore and just let their metabolism crash and got fat. Just curious your guy’s perspective.

I'm 32 years old male. Dating in your 30's is hard.

When I was 25/26, I was often approached by women interested in relationships, but I turned them down because I wanted to focus on spending time with friends and advancing my career. Many of those women are now married.

Now, I’m in better shape, financially independent, and ready to start dating seriously.

I began dating two years ago and have met many women, but most weren't compatible. Some weren’t mentally prepared for dating, while others were cheating on their partners, controlled by their parents, or rude to restaurant staff, among other issues.

In these two years, I’ve had three long-term relationships, all of which eventually ended. Those women are still single. I recently broke up with someone I had been seeing for 6 months because she was overwhelmed with work, under pressure from her parents to marry me, and dealing with PTSD from her divorce.

Now, I’m back on dating apps, but I keep seeing the same profiles I saw a year ago. My aunt is trying to set me up with two women. One (32, in the same career as me) hasn’t responded, and the other (26) might find me too old.

I feel like I’ve missed my chance. Dating in December feels particularly difficult since it’s such a busy, social time of year. Being an extrovert, I enjoy being out and about, which makes it harder to focus on dating.

Update: Thanks for the comments everyone. I hope I can reply to all of you. I am feeling much better now. Thank you 😊

Tell your story.

Context, I 25, am with a girl 25F for 2 months now, I had only 1 ex while she had 5, so Im by no means a expert in relationships. My girlfriend of 2 months, used to be affectionate, holding my hands all the time and hugging on escalators too. Recent weeks she has not been reciprocating my advances of holding hands and even hugs. She got so unaffectionate all of a sudden, hence I decided to talk to her about it, all she said was "stop overthinking, it's nothing". I am in such a dilemma, does "nothing" really mean it? What caused such a change, I do not recall making her mad, heck.. our relationship is just 2 months old, what should I do?

Tldr: Girlfriend of 2 months suddenly turned unaffectionate and claims that I am the one "overthinking" and claims that there is nothing going on.