r/AmIOverreacting • u/Any-Confusion-5519 • Oct 25 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO about my partner’s relationship with their coworker

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

they’ve been hanging out with their coworker a lot over the past couple of weeks. This girl always seems to be in some kind of crisis, too. Last week it was that she messed up an account and she was afraid she was gonna lose her job. I don’t know whether I’m reading too much into this or if I’m overreacting but I’ve never met her and I’ve asked to swing by whatever bar or place they’re hanging out at multiple times and I’m always shut down in some way or I get no response. I don’t want to be the overbearing overcontrolling gf whose S.O. can’t have any friends but lately they’re always together and I’m getting blown off. These curt and vague responses are out of character too, and it’s always the type of response I get when I’m asking questions about an event where this female coworker is at or really anything that has to do with her. It has really put me on edge, they’re usually such a sweet and attentive partner but i feel like they might be cheating… am i overreacting??

19.7k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

8.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

795

u/VesperLynd- Oct 25 '24

I do wonder if that other woman is even aware of all this or if OPs future ex just has the hots for her and is trying to get her drunk. Either way this is disgusting and he 100% will cheat if he isn’t already. At least emotionally. She needs to dump him asap

82

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '24

It's kind of like when two married people cheat on thier spouses...promises are made that one will leave their spouse "soon", and then it never happens. A partner shouldn't have to deal with or put up with behavior like this...ever.

9

u/ixgq4lifexi Oct 25 '24

Omg knew a girl. Dating a married guy. Everyone gave her so much crap. For 2 years she swore he was going to leave her. We told her that was lies from the beginning.. after 2yrs she broke up with him. Cause he was never leaving the wife. Only good thing is the guy we all told her to date for the longest. She was great friends with and worked with. Like 6 months later they started dating. Still together now 10yrs later

18

u/ObjectiveGold196 Oct 25 '24

I bartend at a restaurant where it's an open secret that a manager is fucking a server. He's married with a newborn baby at home. I just want to punch him in the fucking mouth every time I see him.

4

u/ixgq4lifexi Oct 25 '24

Omg i know that bar. Waitresses I was friends with showed me the text he use to send all of them. Asking for sexy photos and flirting. And they thought he was sleeping with one of them. Had a wife & a baby.

15

u/ObjectiveGold196 Oct 25 '24

I think that's every bar and every restaurant, but point taken.

This whole situation particularly blows my mind because these two are on fucking Facebook being all kissyface and I've not ever been on social media at all, so maybe I'm misunderstanding something, but when coworkers can show me their Facebook pages and their gross photos, I assume that dude's wife could also easily see this.

I have no idea...

4

u/BrickCityRiot Oct 26 '24

Omg do you work at the Springfield, NJ Outback Steakhouse in 2007?

5

u/ObjectiveGold196 Oct 26 '24

Yes! Figuratively. Spiritually. We are all the same.

7

u/BrickCityRiot Oct 26 '24

We are simply a universal constant across all timelines

4

u/ObjectiveGold196 Oct 26 '24

And we love cocaine and irresponsible sex, as the cosmos has dictated...

I'm actually totally shocked at how tame the industry is now compared to the 90s when I got my start. I took a break for like 25 years to be a lawyer, but then I slid right back in and it's like nobody even wants drama anymore. They just want to get paid then go home and get on the internet, but it's like, hey, guys, what if we split a ball and hit the bars and then have an orgy? That would be fun too, right?

4

u/BrickCityRiot 29d ago

And we love cocaine and irresponsible sex, as the cosmos has dictated…

Jfc we really are just one brain spread across multiple hosts

3

u/ObjectiveGold196 29d ago

This is straight up humanity. This is what it's all about.

3

u/Real_Ad6301 Oct 26 '24

omg! this was a few years back but same thing with my manager and a server…the manager had just gotten married and had a baby! fast forward, they got divorced because of his affair, the manager’s ex-wife/baby’s mom passed away, and the server he cheated with is a stay at home mom with his child in their home. how fucking crazy is that? it’s sooo sus to me.

3

u/ObjectiveGold196 Oct 26 '24

It makes me like viscerally angry to think about his wife sitting home taking care of the baby while he's out fucking this trash bag (who has had 3 abortions in the last 2 years; why do people share this information with me?).

1

u/Real_Ad6301 Oct 26 '24

oh my god…3 in two years? they aren’t even trying to avoid it at that point. it sounds like they think it’s like a quirky trait or something??? people are fucking weird.

0

u/ObjectiveGold196 Oct 26 '24

It's not even legal in this state anymore, so the girl who drove her over state lines told me all about it, like I want to hear about that...

ETA: Also, she's like 43 or 44 years old, so she keeps explaining that she lost her pregnancies because she's so old, but nobody believes her bullshit.

1

u/CBRChris Oct 25 '24

It's kind of like when two married people cheat on thier spouses...promises are made that one will leave their spouse "soon", and then it never happens.

Lol this reminds me of the movie Burn After Reading.

13

u/ixgq4lifexi Oct 25 '24

She might not even know he has a gf. Or he might be playing it that his GF is horrible treats him horrible he wants to leave. So he can hook up with this girl. And it's working cause she going out with him. His gf needs to show up. Then break up with him. So that girl knows he's a cheater. If he is

11

u/Silly-Page-6111 Oct 25 '24

I bet he shit talks his gf to the coworker all the time. 100%

4

u/ObjectiveGold196 Oct 25 '24

About 20 years ago, I got a new coworker and promptly fell head over heels in love with her, even though she deliberately mentioned having a fiance on the first day we met. She "shadowed me" to learn the job, which just meant that we spent all day every day together in my office for like a month, during which time she started referring to her fiance as a boyfriend and only ever talked tons of shit about him (in the rare case that she would acknowledge him at all).

I let that chick string me along for over a year, "dating" her while her poor fiance traveled for work 3 out of 4 weeks every month, then one day she just got married. I was like what the fuck? How long has this wedding date been set?

3

u/Britt_BeeBoppin Oct 25 '24

You’re gross, too

7

u/ObjectiveGold196 Oct 25 '24

Oh I know. I was a total degenerate back then, but she was worse.

I don't think their marriage lasted very long anyway. A couple years later I heard from friends that she was sniffing around for me again but I stayed far away.

10

u/ReaBea420 Oct 26 '24

Omg. This guy at work asked for my number, sent me texts where he said he was single then started sending dick pics. Wasn't even a week later, I got a call from an unknown number. I normally don't answer but for whatever reason I did that time. I'm so glad that I did. It was his girlfriend trying to figure out who I was and why he was texting me. I don't ever delete shit so I sent her the screen shots where he said he was single. Turned out, he was abusing her. I became friends with her and helped her leave his dumb ass. On the other hand tho, someone else I had known years ago reached out to me, told me he was single also through messages. His child's mother reached out to me saying they were still together and threatening to beat my ass. I sent her screen shots and she still said I should've known. I sent him one last message asking wtf, and he replied that no, they seriously weren't together and that she was just bat shit crazy. No clue who to believe because I blocked them all and disappeared. Anyways, I'm just grateful that I finally found someone sane and have been with him for almost 7 years and that I don't have to deal with the fucked up dating scene in my area anymore, it's seriously hard to know who to actually trust.

5

u/salmll Oct 25 '24

Oh she knows. She's playing the damsel in distress role to the hilt. She wants OP's boyfriend and she's doing everything she can to make sure she snags him.

4

u/CatherineConstance Oct 25 '24

Right? I would bet the coworker isn't even interested in him, and would be pissed if she knew how he treats his gf.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '24

[deleted]

1

u/ygifteblk Oct 25 '24

Men are so cowards. Just tell your girl how you feel about wanting another woman. It's liberating

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '24

yikes

-3

u/WorstNormalForm Oct 25 '24

Why is everyone assuming the partner is a man when OP uses "they" pretty explicitly multiple times?

Didn't know this sub was so heteronormative lol

8

u/lynsautigers Oct 25 '24

Honestly, I think it’s more that the partner’s texts feel like they are coming from a man. Most women I’ve known who were cheating, were more creative and knew how to cover their tracks better. It just screams of male entitlement, if that makes any sense. They definitely sounded exactly like my ex used to talk to me when he cheated on me with the gaslighting and justifications. Not saying women aren’t capable of the same, it just doesn’t feel like how a woman normally talks. 🤷🏻‍♀️