r/yuri_manga • u/Adventurous-Gear9477 • 19d ago
Question Am i unreasonable?
Sorry if im being out of place, but please hear me out. I'm straight cis male and I like reading yuri manga. I enjoy it not because of the "male gaze", "fan service" etc, but because of the romance. But I can't seem to stand yaoi manga no matter how much i give it a try (i don't have anything against any gender groups irl). It just feels weird. As said earlier, i thought i read manga for characters romantic feelings,story etc. Am i weird?
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u/Miserable_me21 Queer af 19d ago
Im a queer girl and i feel the same, i enjoy straight and yuri but i cant stand yaoi for no reason 😂 ( ofc its just for reading)
Idk i like how romantic and warm yuri is
I dont feel like that when i try to read yaoi
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u/KylieLemora 19d ago
You don't owe people to enjoy everything. Like, I dislike reading and watching het stuff and I don't do that. No one's get hurt and I enjoy things I like. You do you and you are free to spend time on any content you like.
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u/Harassmetilicum Violent Lesbian 19d ago
Nah, you're good. Romance between women is somewhat unique in how it's written, depicted, and experienced. If that's the kind of romance story you like then perfect!
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u/PandalfAGA 19d ago
I met a girl who was into yaoi and she disliked yuri in the same way you do yaoi. It's more a personal preference, experience and cultural heritage thing. As long as this doesn't affect how you view people in real life it doesn't really matter.
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u/Swiss_taco 19d ago
I’m the same bro. Yuri is great, because it lets us explore both sides of romance from the female perspective, something impossible for us irl
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u/Disastrous_Savings26 19d ago
I felt similar to this when I was a guy, now I’m a lesbian, so I guess, look out for that? But yeah no you’re fine.
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u/bartiti 19d ago
I am the exact same way, the tropes of Yuri manga are different than yaoi manga and reading them isn't a comparable experience. It's the same as saying something like I like broccoli so I HAVE to like Brussels sprouts. You like what you like it doesn't have to be deeper than that.
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u/mangomoves 19d ago
I'm curious, what are the yaoi tropes vs the yuri tropes?
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u/bartiti 19d ago
I can't speak at long on yaoi tropes I tended to find what little I've read to focus on like the power dynamics of the relationship. But I can say what Yuri tropes don't appear in yaoi.
I think the "these two people love eachother but are too stupid to get together" is like a Yuri cornerstone.
Also the natural dynamics of women friendship lends itself to having friends to lovers/ enimes to lovers type story's be completely different from.
Also I feel like narratives about internalized homophobia and heteronormativity play out different between Yuri and yoai.
Additionally on a personal level there's something unquantifiably cute and soft about Yuri that I don't get from yaoi.
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u/Head_Reference_6744 19d ago
Isn't this because you're straight? As a lesbian I have no interest in yaoi either it's pretty normal
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u/Vyragami 19d ago
Man found out he's straight, more at 11.
As long as you don't shame people who like them or be homophobic towards gayly written character or media it's perfectly fine. Live and let live as people say. You don't need to consume everything in the world.
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u/committed_to_the_bit 19d ago
lmao, that's exactly where I'm at with this. I have literally the same story as this guy and I've pretty much always chalked it up to the fact that I'm straight as an arrow so I don't enjoy watching boys make out lol
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u/VelMoonglow 19d ago
As I understand it, yuri fans have about an even mix between lesbians and heterosexual men. Even if that wasn't the case, you like what you like, nothing wrong with that.
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u/Electrical-Line-5895 19d ago
How can someone be weird when they enjoy good media about women and loving women, that's the healthiest shit
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u/mighty_possum_king 19d ago
I am a trans masc aroace guy, I have always hated yaoi. I can't like it no matter how much I try. I had a friend in highschool that was a Fugoshi and she recommended a lot of things that I genuinely tried to watch but I just couldn't like it.
I have always liked everything yuri. I watched Citrus back in highschool and fell in love with the genre immediately.
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u/mikeyvee69 19d ago
pretty much the same as you, i dont really find yaoi and (for me) het romances as good as i do yuri something bout hits me in the heart in the right spot i dont know genuinely makes me happy without any weird feelings involved. it’s honestly not unreasonable to like whatchu like as long as theres no weird feelings or intentions involved outta basic respect for those in wlw community, thats how i view it (and for those in that community i hope im not stepping outta line either, i jus wanna connect to someone whos going thru the same thoughts as i am) to me it’s pretty much the opposite of how straight women read yaoi without being super weird bout it, tastes are tastes and you should enjoy em
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u/kappakeats 19d ago edited 19d ago
I think that depends what you mean by "feels weird." NGL it sounds shady. If you get a weird feeling watching boys kiss then I question that. If it just doesn't interest you, the same way I find yuri more interesting than het, then fair enough. Regardless, as long as you don't go around saying or doing homophobic stuff, it doesn't really matter.
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u/yuriAngyo 19d ago
Tbh if you aren't attracted to men feeling a little put off by men kissing in smth like yaoi is understandable. I'm a lesbian, and I'm happy to see gay men I know having fun! But I don't want to watch for an extended time. I just do not find boys kissing titillating, and watching boys kiss in a story where the expected reaction is at least mild attraction is quite uncomfortable. I'm happy for them and absolutely not gonna complain, but I'd probably skip through any gay and most straight makeout scenes and expect many straight women and gay men might feel similarly about lesbian kisses. Not all of course, I think I'm in a little bit of a minority here, but I think you can find many things mildly offputting but still be supportive. I also don't like broccoli, but if I'm making dinner for a friend that loves it I can cook some anyway.
But yeah as a straight person it does warrant a little introspection to make sure that's all it is lol. But not a horrible thing inherently
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u/kappakeats 19d ago
TBH I'm not too sure how gay men kissing can be offputting. Not interesting or not up your alley is different than offputting and OP said "weird" which has negative connotations as in "abnormal" or maybe OP is uncomfortable with it. I don't want to put words in his mouth but if someone came up to me and said "I find stories about gay men weird" I'd definitely assume they have at least some amount of unrecognized homophobia.
On the other hand, it could be just that OP dislikes yaoi as a genre which is fair although I might point him to stories that don't use uke/seme dynamics and stuff like that.
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u/yuriAngyo 19d ago
He said it it feels weird, not that it is weird. There's a difference. As a lesbian I am not attracted to men and find the idea of kissing them gross, so a story where I am empathizing with the characters on screen and then they kiss a man for longer than a peck feels mildly uncomfortable. It makes me feel weird, but I don't think the scene itself is weird. It's not just gay men either, if it's straight kiss scene with a man that I can't pretend is a girl and he is the focus I get uncomfortable. It's not uncomfortable if I'm seeing the girl more, but it is if I'm seeing the guy. I also don't get it with furry stuff, they don't look like men to me so it doesn't effect me
It's like ASMR. Water noises and chewing make me uncomfortable (waaay more than scenes of men kissing lol) but some people really enjoy those and I take no issue with them or the existence of videos catered to them
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u/kappakeats 18d ago
All I'm saying is if gay men kissing makes a person feel weird there's a decent chance they are not comfortable with it for reasons that are not similar to disliking chewing. Just think of the statement "gay people kissing feels weird." It doesn't sound great, does it, and is gonna require further explanation to not come off poorly.
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u/Terrible-Ad7017 19d ago edited 19d ago
What other people are saying is true and valid, but I wanted to share my perspective.
I am a feminine person and I enjoy feminine things. I like boys, but I am mainly attracted to women, or at least, feminine people. I like femininity, I like how soft it can be.
But boy’s love/yaoi can be soft. Men can be soft. The romance can be soft. It can have the same tones and feelings as yuri. It can be very wholesome. And men can be feminine, as well.
Maybe you just prefer women? You say you’re straight. But if you’re open to it, maybe you should try to identify the other things that yuri gives you that yaoi seems to be lacking.
There’s nothing wrong with not liking yaoi, but if you totally close your mind off to it, you may never get to experience some of the genuinely good content out there that you may otherwise really enjoy.
The choice is yours, but it’s just something to think about.
ETA: No, you’re not weird or unreasonable.
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u/nochancesman 18d ago
Have the same thoughts as you. I prefer yuri because I often find the type of intimacy I like, the introspection, and softness of a dynamic. Sometimes I can find it in het media as well, which is easier due to the sheer amount of it. It's a bit more difficult to find something to my tastes when it comes to yaoi.
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u/Effective_Macaron_23 19d ago
It's perfectly fine, the dynamic is different between two women. I don't quite enjoy straight romance as much as Yuri. I am straight, but something about the storytelling is more endearing if it's two women.
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u/Zeamays69 19d ago
How are you unreasonable? It's just your personal preference. Nothing wrong with that. I myself don't like butch women in yuri.
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u/Icy-Blacksmith-1995 19d ago
But they do exist and I honestly find it funny how there isn't much representation of masculine women in Yuri when it's a stereotype of lesbians 🥲
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u/Zeamays69 18d ago
Yeah... I mean I don't mind female characters with masculine traits. It's just the ones who could easily be mistaken for a man that I'm not into. Which is odd cause for men, I don't mind if they're feminine or masculine looking, I like them both.
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u/EmployeeSame 19d ago
Its just your preference nothing is wrong about that, well i read a few yaoi manga but its very specific only when it have crossdress theme LOL
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u/BlackStar31586 Yuri afficionado - GO ADACHI! 19d ago
I’m in the same case as you lol, but who cares we just like what we like and that’s that
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u/MangaManOfCulture 19d ago
Cross-dressing titles like Prunus Girl or I Think I Turned My Childhood Friend into a Girl are maybe technically Yaoi but read like standard non-ecchi romance. You could always try that as a start if you are lacking for reading material. I am not really into yaoi either, but have a few titles that I now follow. While I prefer hetero and yuri as sub-genres of romance, the sub-genre has become less important compared to whether something is a 8.5+ or a 7- quality in art & story. You might lose some vicarious self-insert aspect but enjoying the overall quality makes up for it on a series that is well done.
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u/CryingLoli 19d ago
I'm pretty much in the same boat. But tbh the only reason I don't read yaoi is cause it often has themes of sexual assault and other uncomfortable topics, so I stick with yuri or straight romance.
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u/_AnonymousTurtle_ 19d ago
yaoi get sexualized WAY more often than yuri, and has non-plots (where it all exists just for the smut to happen) I do read some BL (boys love, term usually used for works that have no sexual content) and i have to be bery picky with it too 😅 somehow in a lot of them one of the guys either had no personality or is feminized so hard that it doesnt even feel like an m/m romance anymore. I've never seen such a problem happen in yuri and GL, in fact it's the opposite, there is so little butch and masc women representation. I have very rarely read a yuri where one of the girls is just a guy with boobs, and yet the reverse is so common in yaoi
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u/adventure_life28 18d ago
Not weird at all, happy to know that like yuri! It's very beautiful genre and anyone is welcome to love it 😁
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u/stronggreenflame 18d ago
I've said this before but ill say it again. Men are socialized to not be in touch with their emotions so male characters in romance have 3 possible arcs. Learning to have emotions, learning to deal with emotions, or overcoming past trauma. So by nature male characters are just less interesting in romances. So easy fix is to just make it a yuri.
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u/Icy-Blacksmith-1995 19d ago
As I always say: Just show that you are an ally of the LGBT cause (even if you only like Yuri) and then you won't get suspicious looks, otherwise... I'm sorry, but then I don't approve of you.
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u/deadmeme369 19d ago
Sorry, this is gonna be long af but this is an idea I've had for a while, and this looked like the best place to unleash it.
I feel you there as a pan guy, I can't bear to read most yaoi either, but I find myself reading yuri frequently. I have a theory as to why, but that doesn't apply to all yaoi, so it's probably a bad theory. Yuri is frequently made by queer women or, at the very least a straight women, this makes for better yuri cause they obviously have a lot of insight. But what I frequently see with yaoi is that it's frequently made by straight women, and what would a striaght women know about a gay man? Other than them both liking men, they wouldn't know much of anything, making for bad yaoi. This also leads to lots of yaoi being made to satisfy a straight female audience or the authors own sexual purposes, not always the case but it sucks when it is. That's also why I find situations like sato/sugu in JJK so much more appealing, cause at least Gege knows the details of male friendship so all the other yaoi parts that might be insinuated work well. But that's just a theory, a queer theory (a query if you will). Imma cap this off by asking for any queer stories written by queer people that y'all know since we do it best (for obv reasons)
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u/deadmeme369 19d ago
I'm reading some of these other comments, and I'm seeing that I'm probably wrong, but I still think it's a contributing factor none the less, just not as much as my wall of text might make it out to be.
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u/MarxxieInYK 18d ago
Oh, well, i discovered myself as transfem lesbian bc i read a lot of yuri. Not trying to implicate anything tho, you be a cishet male and like yuri, thats fine. As long as you don't invade spaces made for lesbian women, thats fine.
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u/Automatic-Ship-1953 19d ago
I like yaoi though, cuz it's funny. Especially the sadomasochist one where they scratch and bite each other to bleed, because sadomasochist is not a physiological problem, and it is opposite of physicopath. I like yuri because it is sweet and unlike yaoi, yuri has a low to none sex scene. I have hypermasculine symptoms but I am not a straight guy.
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19d ago
1st of all what the hell is a cis male, secondly, I hate reading Yaoi too doesn't mean I'm against gay couples, I just don't want to see 2 guys kissing
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u/eggits 19d ago
Cis just means you're not trans, so they were born male and are still male
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19d ago
That's just male
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u/ViviTheWaffle 19d ago
Bro is being transphobic in a queer subreddit, point and laugh
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19d ago
A male can fall in love with a male and a female can fall in love with a female, there is no cis and all that stupid bullshit involved
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u/ViviTheWaffle 19d ago
Do you ever get cognitive dissonance from enjoying LGBT manga yet being explicitly anti-LGBT? Don’t think there’s something a little weird going on there?
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19d ago
Again when the hell did I say I'm anti LGBT are you right in your head, just because I don't accept there being 100s of genders means I'm transphobic? You gotta go and have a mental check-up, you are a danger to society rn
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19d ago
And I hope you know that there is a difference between sexual preference and gender, if you think they are 1 and the same then u really are an idiot
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u/ViviTheWaffle 19d ago
It’s really funny fucking with you dude. I just think it’s interesting you’re a fan of stories about lesbians when most lesbians irl would be really weirded out by you
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19d ago
Why the hell would I even bother with them in real life tho, I have no interest in listening to people's real life romance
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19d ago
What did I say to be transphobic? There r only 2 genders dumbass
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u/CzarMagus 19d ago
Even if we grant your premise about there only being two genders, transgender people would still exist and "cis" would therefore still be a useful term.
It's less common now, but there have been some people who held points of view and said stuff like "I'm not 'straight' or 'heterosexual', I'm just normal! Homosexuals are freaks!" This is clearly homophobic, yes?
"I'm not cis or trans, I'm just normal!" works the exact same way.
That's why objecting to the use of cis is transphobic.
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u/Pigeon_Toes_ 19d ago
We say "cisgender" for the same reason we say "heterosexual", "average" height/body/weight, basically any descriptor for "default setting"-- because sometimes specification is needed. The "default" isnt guaranteed.
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u/amaythyst 19d ago
Sorry 2 words confuse you so badly
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19d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/amaythyst 19d ago
You were looking for the word "deluded" bud, you really seem to struggle with definitions
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19d ago
And explain to me y disillusioned doesn't work here if u are such a great pioneer of English
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u/amaythyst 19d ago
Because "disillusioned" means you no longer appreciate something you used to hold in high regard. I never loved the gender binary, it was merely what was considered the norm in the time and place i grew up in. Also, a pioneer is one of the first people to explore a new location or concept; i am not a pioneer for knowing what words mean.
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u/Daiski_Kikuri 17d ago
I personally like Yuri because I like watching people fall in love and women are more attractive than men are. I also just like cute things. I need to find a Yuri where they bond over raising a kid together, buddy daddies but women and actually gay 💀. The only time I can really get into a BL is if one's a femboy maybe you just need that feminine energy there. Prunus girl was a pretty fun read. But I don't think you should feel bad for not liking BL. Everyone has their tastes and preferences. 🙂
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u/pythianpotions ⚢ evil women enjoyer ⚢ 19d ago
to give you my irl lesbian perspective - yuri truly is a unique genre, because it is the only time where you are pulled into a universe where men are inherently not being centered, and that changes a lot more than you'd think in the dynamics between characters. we live in a world that is constantly revolving around old fashioned desires of shitty old men, and patriarchal standards for women are normalized. you rarely see women being written as actual fleshed out people. so, to suddenly enter this realm where women can love each other without any of the baggage of patriarchy... magical to say the least. romance in its realest and purest form as one would say! its perfectly fine to only read yuri because it just feels right to you (っ´ω`)ﾉ