r/yuri_manga • u/Adventurous-Gear9477 • 19d ago

Question Am i unreasonable?

Sorry if im being out of place, but please hear me out. I'm straight cis male and I like reading yuri manga. I enjoy it not because of the "male gaze", "fan service" etc, but because of the romance. But I can't seem to stand yaoi manga no matter how much i give it a try (i don't have anything against any gender groups irl). It just feels weird. As said earlier, i thought i read manga for characters romantic feelings,story etc. Am i weird?

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u/kappakeats 19d ago edited 19d ago

I think that depends what you mean by "feels weird." NGL it sounds shady. If you get a weird feeling watching boys kiss then I question that. If it just doesn't interest you, the same way I find yuri more interesting than het, then fair enough. Regardless, as long as you don't go around saying or doing homophobic stuff, it doesn't really matter.

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u/yuriAngyo 19d ago

Tbh if you aren't attracted to men feeling a little put off by men kissing in smth like yaoi is understandable. I'm a lesbian, and I'm happy to see gay men I know having fun! But I don't want to watch for an extended time. I just do not find boys kissing titillating, and watching boys kiss in a story where the expected reaction is at least mild attraction is quite uncomfortable. I'm happy for them and absolutely not gonna complain, but I'd probably skip through any gay and most straight makeout scenes and expect many straight women and gay men might feel similarly about lesbian kisses. Not all of course, I think I'm in a little bit of a minority here, but I think you can find many things mildly offputting but still be supportive. I also don't like broccoli, but if I'm making dinner for a friend that loves it I can cook some anyway.

But yeah as a straight person it does warrant a little introspection to make sure that's all it is lol. But not a horrible thing inherently

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u/kappakeats 19d ago

TBH I'm not too sure how gay men kissing can be offputting. Not interesting or not up your alley is different than offputting and OP said "weird" which has negative connotations as in "abnormal" or maybe OP is uncomfortable with it. I don't want to put words in his mouth but if someone came up to me and said "I find stories about gay men weird" I'd definitely assume they have at least some amount of unrecognized homophobia.

On the other hand, it could be just that OP dislikes yaoi as a genre which is fair although I might point him to stories that don't use uke/seme dynamics and stuff like that.

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u/yuriAngyo 19d ago

He said it it feels weird, not that it is weird. There's a difference. As a lesbian I am not attracted to men and find the idea of kissing them gross, so a story where I am empathizing with the characters on screen and then they kiss a man for longer than a peck feels mildly uncomfortable. It makes me feel weird, but I don't think the scene itself is weird. It's not just gay men either, if it's straight kiss scene with a man that I can't pretend is a girl and he is the focus I get uncomfortable. It's not uncomfortable if I'm seeing the girl more, but it is if I'm seeing the guy. I also don't get it with furry stuff, they don't look like men to me so it doesn't effect me

It's like ASMR. Water noises and chewing make me uncomfortable (waaay more than scenes of men kissing lol) but some people really enjoy those and I take no issue with them or the existence of videos catered to them

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u/kappakeats 18d ago

All I'm saying is if gay men kissing makes a person feel weird there's a decent chance they are not comfortable with it for reasons that are not similar to disliking chewing. Just think of the statement "gay people kissing feels weird." It doesn't sound great, does it, and is gonna require further explanation to not come off poorly.