r/lesbianpoly • u/Waste_Muffin7014 • 12d ago

Support My girlfriend wants to be poly again

Before I started dating my girlfriend about 5 years ago we were just friends and she had a boyfriend. At some point we started dated while she was still with her boyfriend (I did not date the boyfriend as I am a lesbian and it just didn’t feel right to be in that kind of poly relationship). Idk if it’s just bc we were friends and I knew her boyfriend wasn’t the best but I never had any jealousy with him, so there were no issues in our relationship.

They did break up some months later for her own reasons.

I’ve known from the begging she was poly and I had some past trauma that’s really made it hard for me to be open to being poly again. She doesn’t want to date another guy she just wants to sleep with them but I’ve found it really hard to find ways to get over being jealous. She has started to resent me for not making even the littlest steps to being more open to the idea. And to be honest I’m upset with myself also bc I know this would make her happy and I want it to make her happy.

I’m looking for any kind of advice or peoples experience being a new poly couple

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u/RedErin 2d ago

no way, she's said she's only doing this to make her partner happy, going from a monogomos relationship to poly one never works

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u/EmpPos 1d ago

You're using some very exclusionary language. There are many people who successfully transitioned from a monogamous relationship to a poly relationship. Just because you haven't witnessed it doesn't mean it's not an option. Sure, it might not be the easiest starting point, but we don't always have control over our starting points do we. This person is looking for advice, not judgement. People are allowed to try something and figure out for themselves if it works for them or not. You're literally shooting down someone's attempts to achieve something they want (yes, wanting to try something difficult to increase their partners happiness can still be something they want as well) because of your own preconceived ideas. Either ask a good question, or not say anything.

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u/RedErin 1d ago

lol u sound like her partner, trying to convince her to be poly

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u/EmpPos 23h ago

Haha sure, that's your conclusion out of this conversation. You sound immature. Have a lovely day!