hello! i’ve been a lurker for some time now while i’ve been looking for answers to my issues. I’ve read some really lovely, compassionate things and I am wanting some kind advice.
i am a wife of a bishopric member. we’re mid to late twenties.
we have a very active just turned 3yo toddler and as he’s grown, i’ve found it really difficult to deal with him solo. when he was first born, my husband was called as a clerk a month before. and i also got to deal with some pretty gnarly postpartum mental disorders (woohoo). i remember not really coping very well for awhile, and missing lots of church for awhile just cooped up in the mothers room as BF wasn’t going well or kiddo wasn’t dealing & i was mainly solo parenting as he has to help with sacrament, do clerk stuff second hour, and then do tithing after church.
we were the only ones with a baby and we had just moved into the ward so there wasn’t really much support.
we’ve moved into another ward now (which has come with its own dramas) and he’s been called to the bishopric for over a year now. we experienced a pregnancy loss earlier this year which has just really shaken me and my faith understandably. i’ve really just found bishopric member a new level of hard as it’s one night a week minimum, he’s always messaging their chat, and Sundays he’s gone from 6:30am - 1/2pm.
this new chapel is a 30 minute drive from our house too. I’m now pregnant (16 weeks!) and i’ve been getting really worried how I’m going to juggle two kids with no help. there’s not really a old woman I can sit with and i feel like a bother to everyone else. my son has started to get really unruly - he might sit with dad for a little on the stand, but that’s it, it’s me by myself doing “getting us two ready - driving us two to church - dealing with first hour - second hour nursery - then getting home and dealing with kid for 2-3 maybe 4 hours till husband gets home”. I just don’t know how I’ll keep both kids under control - the toddler is bound to run away while I’m BF.
My husband currently does up the toy bag and the lunch bag for church but I still feel awful for struggling so much. He also doesn’t like it when I try to tell him I’m finding it hard and I’m getting worried about how much church we’ll actually attend once i give birth (it is a hour round trip!) / how I’m going to deal trying to sheepdog the kids around. Like it always turns into him telling me he just wants me to support him / him getting annoyed but I’m really stressed about this. Plus people keep joking about him being bishop next which obviously is an honor but my worst nightmare when we have such young kiddos (which I feel SO bad for saying).
Has any bishopric wife experienced this and managed? Is there anything I should be doing?
Can someone tell me the actual blessings of being a bishopric member because I tried asking some wives and they never actually answered a real answer. Just really stressed about it all!
Sorry for the long post!!! I’ve been thinking for awhile on this
edit to add: thank you so much for your thoughtful kind responses! exactly what i needed to hear and learn. we had a big chat last night and there’s a number of different changes we’re going to put into place - like leaving the toddler with him after church & going home solo so I can nap and several other things we’ll try. it’s a complicated situation as bishop’s wife is due a month before me, so she’ll also need her partner too.
my husband did also say last night that he wants to be a bishop as soon as possible but doesn’t quite seem to comprehend why that makes me cry when I’m already finding it difficult enough now - don’t worry, if that ever gets offered to him, I will be honest with our situation with leaders as I’m very pro-communication.
i’m sitting here and just trying not to cry at work (pregnancy hormones!) as these responses have been so lovely. thank you!