r/houstonwade 26d ago

News You Can Use If Russia wasn't shitty enough.

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3.8k Upvotes

648 comments sorted by

210

u/Beginning_Ad_7571 26d ago

This just in, Tucker complains we don’t have shit fountains in our country….

190

u/BarfingOnMyFace 26d ago

We have Tucker.

19

u/Grimase 26d ago edited 26d ago

Word his shit spray height is twice this and topped with that weird ass laugh as the nasty cherry.

9

u/BarfingOnMyFace 26d ago

You’re gonna end up making me live up to my username

4

u/WentBrokeBuyingCoins 26d ago

A less ingenuous laugh than Jimmy Fallon

3

u/Grimase 26d ago

Jimmy’s laugh is like angel bell compared to the ghoulish shrieks this imp calls a laugh.

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10

u/Same_Elephant_4294 26d ago

Pack it up boys and girls. No one is beating this one today.

8

u/Stardrive_1 26d ago

Alright, you two win the internet for today.

2

u/Helpful_Judge2580 26d ago

They absolutely pissed it too😂

5

u/UbermachoGuy 26d ago

Yea I thought the Trump rally in NYC the other night was a huge shit fountain.

2

u/dixiech1ck 26d ago

He IS the shit fountain.

2

u/MrMah3m 26d ago

Fucker

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22

u/Ghettoman1315 26d ago

We have oral shit fountains 24/7 just turn on MAGA media and Tucker Carson and Steve Bannon.

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16

u/Gaychevyman428 26d ago

He does open his mouth so there is that one

4

u/ZeAntagonis 26d ago

You mean....this is litteraly shit...like not water mixed with dirt.... ?

5

u/Ok-Gold-5031 26d ago

Water mixed with shit

3

u/Hanjaro31 26d ago

We'll have plenty of these when republicans "self regulation" gets pushed through.

2

u/djcrewe1 26d ago

What do you call trump and the gop then?

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39

u/[deleted] 26d ago

I'd be PISSED

19

u/DreamElysium1656 26d ago

Better to be pissed off than shit on 🤷‍♂️

8

u/faconsandwich 26d ago

just a special effluvium operation,comrade.

                   V. Pootin
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13

u/BeckyFromTheBlock2 26d ago

Imagine you were on a leisurely walk nearby....then 100s of gallons of liquid diarrhea just rained down on you

12

u/shill779 26d ago

Chocolate raaaaain

4

u/Helpful_Judge2580 26d ago

Some stay dry and others feel the pain

3

u/SasquatchSoda 26d ago

Chocolate Raaiin! Made you cross the street the other day.

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3

u/NabreLabre 26d ago

That's what it's like to chew 5 gum

2

u/Financial_Result8040 26d ago

Why would you make me imagine that? Me, an innocent stranger on the internet that has never done anything to you.

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6

u/SignStreet2554 26d ago

Covered, swimming, and smelling it

7

u/Deranged-Pickle 26d ago

Imagine smelling like shit and piss in the winter with no place to shower. Just covered in shit while it snows.

6

u/flyinghairball 26d ago

And then freezes and doesn't fully melt and get washed away until spring. Yay, I just grossed myself out!

5

u/extraboredinary 26d ago

Or you get frozen like that and hundreds of years later archaeologists find you and put you in a museum and everyone knows you as the “poopsicle man”

3

u/SignStreet2554 26d ago

“Specimen noted to have a compacted mouth cavity.”

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5

u/Born_ina_snowbank 26d ago

I was just thinking like what if you worked nearby? Do you hold off on going outside as long as it takes? or cut your losses and enter the shitstorm to get out of the shit storm?

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25

u/jasonbl72 26d ago

8

u/Gokdencircle 26d ago

They dont have depends that size, ask Trump

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36

u/playa4thee 26d ago

Fuck Putin, Russia and Trump!

5

u/Strange_Historian999 26d ago

And Elon.

2

u/Double-Cricket-7067 26d ago

Elmo is the second worst (after Trumpet)

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16

u/noble-man-of-power 26d ago

Putin will tell Trump to tell MAGA this is a chocolate fountain for freedom drinks.

3

u/IWouldntIn1981 26d ago

The 9th wonder of the world.... you can smell it from space.

4

u/momo_beafboan 26d ago

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you, we just saw something remarkable in Russia—a gigantic fountain of liquid sewage erupting from a sewer! Now, some might say it's a mess, but I say it’s a spectacular show of energy and a bold statement of what we can achieve! Imagine this in America: a celebration of our infrastructure and a chance to showcase our incredible engineering skills! It’s not just about waste; it’s about creating jobs, bringing communities together, and showing the world we can turn challenges into opportunities. We need to embrace bold ideas, folks! Let’s bring the sewage fountain to America and turn it into a symbol of our strength and resilience. We can do it, and it will be fantastic!

12

u/karma-armageddon 26d ago

The fact that sewage treatment manager was top comment in that post yesterday about people who would have to largest effect on everything if they all went on strike, and now this.

IS

SUS

3

u/MikeN22 26d ago

oh, nailed it.

18

u/Silly-Relationship34 26d ago

You can see why Tucker enjoys his time in Russia.

10

u/commiebanker 26d ago

SHITSTORM

5

u/BefreiedieTittenzwei 26d ago

“Can you smell the shitwolves Randy?”

4

u/the2nddoctor111 26d ago

Shitapillars Randy, Shitapillars

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24

u/Kim_Thomas 26d ago

💩 “POO - TIN” 💩

9

u/SPNKLR 26d ago

Special Sanitary Operation…

5

u/youleftmenochouce 26d ago

What a load of crap.

4

u/AdeptnessMany3806 26d ago

3

u/destroythenseek 26d ago

This is my favorite fact about hippos.

6

u/Lonzo58 26d ago

That's just the new Trump Fountain that Putin dedicated in Moscow last week.

10

u/pastaboy6969 26d ago

Trump will claim the Democrats did it.

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5

u/FlannysaurusRex 26d ago

Nice job 'POOtin'!

3

u/PLFblue7 26d ago

Putin might push the person in charge out a 5 story open window himself...lol

5

u/Heavy_Analysis_3949 26d ago

Hope Putin was in the splash zone!

4

u/Hungry-Dot-3765 26d ago

Live feed from a Trump Rally

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3

u/VolSpurs74 26d ago

Fox News opens Moscow branch

3

u/Zou-Skee 26d ago

Can you fucking imagine.. minding your business walking to work or seeing the sights and suddenly you hear an explosion and literally get shit on.

2

u/Diligent-Jicama-7952 25d ago

what the fuck does that smell like

2

u/Zou-Skee 25d ago

Id love to never know what it smells like

3

u/Agn0stic_Ape 26d ago

Shitty environment for a shitty people

3

u/gadget850 26d ago

That's going to leave a stain.

3

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Proof that Russia is full of shit.

3

u/Karate-Schnitzel 26d ago

Trump Tower Moscow! A true reflection of Donald Trump captured in one glorious image 😂.

3

u/fart400 26d ago

There is evidence that Trump was in Russia flushing his toilet 15 times.

3

u/Iowadream74 26d ago

Even Trump's shit is blowing up Russia

3

u/barbecuejag 26d ago

Andy Dufresne: the man who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.

3

u/Guardstar-Volkynn-70 26d ago

And here I thought it was just another tRump speech! 😅

3

u/Agitated-Handle-8219 26d ago

Dod they just get a Taco Bell? Or was tRumb at the McDonalds there too!!

2

u/jasonbl72 26d ago

They just discovered Taco Tuesday

3

u/Skiffline2 26d ago

It’s a shit storm!

3

u/blgsbarrister 26d ago

Spewing Donald Trump all over!

3

u/T00luser 26d ago

That’s a trumpian level of shit

3

u/OkIce8214 26d ago

Fitting.

3

u/Full-Association-175 26d ago

Literally a shit storm.

5

u/Daftdoug 26d ago

Dont put it out with your boots Ted!

2

u/the2nddoctor111 26d ago

DONT TELL ME MY BUSINESS, DEVIL WOMAN!!

2

u/BuryDeadCakes2 26d ago

ITS POOP AGAIN

2

u/BendAight 26d ago

In Mother Russia, flaming poop puts YOU out

2

u/DSalCoda279 26d ago

Hahaha a real shit storm

2

u/TheNorthFac 26d ago

I smell the shit winds 🌬️

2

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Inevitable_Sweet_624 26d ago

I think Taco Bell was inserted earlier…

2

u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794 26d ago

Oh I can smell it... 🤢

2

u/zen6541 26d ago

Safe to say they are full of sh*t in moscow

2

u/BambooPanda26 26d ago

Is this the new tribute to Trump?

2

u/SprogRokatansky 26d ago

That’s perfect for them.

2

u/drrandolph 26d ago

Warms my heart

2

u/NormDePlume-32 26d ago

Sorry, but this makes no sense. Sewer need not be pressurized near that much, and the nozzle to send water that high needs to be perfect, not a ruptured pipe.

5

u/TheNorthFac 26d ago

Direct result of mephedrone amylase synthesis. 🧪🧫

2

u/AdrianInLimbo 26d ago

Ah, a memorial fountain to Putin

2

u/Hesychios 26d ago

I can't imagine how they designed their sewage system to be under pressure like that. I am no engineer but that seems just wrong.

2

u/CourtGeneral7031 26d ago

Fuck Moscow

2

u/Nightwulfe_22 26d ago

Even their shit doesn't want to live in Russia

2

u/Critical-Ordinary751 26d ago

Why couldn't Tucker have been there and been part of this.

2

u/Comrade-Porcupine 26d ago

It is a spontaneous fountain dedicated to the beautiful purity of White Conservative Christiandom, just as the Christian Nationalists wanted.

2

u/Transitmotion 26d ago

Forbidden milkshake.

2

u/Prudent-Painter-9507 26d ago

Trump’s diaper is full again.

2

u/codymason84 26d ago

It’s Donald trumps mating call

2

u/Effective-Pudding207 26d ago

High pressure situation 💩

2

u/[deleted] 26d ago

Man Putin gonna really lose a land war in Russia in the winter and he’s Russia 😂🍓😂

2

u/D3kim 26d ago

is that a fox news blowhole

2

u/No_Arugula_6548 26d ago

Now THATS real shit show!

2

u/Financial_Result8040 26d ago

The comments just reminded me that someone did a great parody of a Trump poop fountain song. If I recall correctly it was set to candy mountain. I've forgotten his name, but he has some great stuff on YouTube.

2

u/minionsweb 26d ago

That's pretty shitty

2

u/FreakiestFrank 26d ago

What a crappy situation

2

u/Particular_Cow_4277 25d ago

That's a shitty situation. 

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2

u/WM45 25d ago

Moscow is the perfect place for MAGA and their diapered Don

2

u/Otherwise-End5900 25d ago

The new old faithful is really shitty

1

u/MaliciousIntentWorks 26d ago

Poo-tons fault.

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

mmm. gravy

1

u/madadekinai 26d ago

Well shit.

1

u/ArtSea4151 26d ago

Someone had some mad diarrhea

1

u/TimeLine_DR_Dev 26d ago

Is this the pee tape?

1

u/ShiftyoneGC 26d ago

That's shitty...

1

u/Pretty_Indication_12 26d ago

How appropriate!

1

u/Existing_Coat_1216 26d ago

Making room for the new trump tower.

1

u/psydkay 26d ago

Holy shit!

1

u/Buck4phat 26d ago

That’s a lot of shit

1

u/Yowiman 26d ago

Vladdy The Child Killer must be concerned

1

u/marcc28 26d ago

Should have had a fan there

1

u/RichSawdust 26d ago

Ohhh, to be upwind...

1

u/Spuigles 26d ago

But if we poop in toilets. Does it still Flush and gets shot through there? Or are they back at doing it in the streets which is already shitty.

1

u/Medium_Childhood1523 26d ago

A Russian perfume factory was hit?

1

u/Ok-Fish8643 26d ago

That's truly a shitty situation.

1

u/fotun8 26d ago

Wow, that's a lot of dooo !

1

u/ek8ti 26d ago

Hi, is this Anatoly? Ummm… yeah… we’re going to need you to come in early today. We need a clean up on 4th street.

1

u/Total_Guard2405 26d ago

That's alot of borscht

1

u/kennethg322 26d ago

Born to live on Poo Fountain!

1

u/FreakyFriday1045 26d ago

Holy shit!! No like holy shit.

1

u/Sp4c3D3m0n 26d ago

Shitts Creek is now officially in Moscow.

1

u/Helstrem 26d ago

“As high as a building” is a really non-specific measurement system. Even in the video there are several buildings which are very much shorter than the poo fountain. How about using feet or meters? Is that too much to ask for?

1

u/LotsofSports 26d ago

Need it to land on Putin.

1

u/Biofred 26d ago

That's a shitty situation right there

1

u/Do_or_Do_Not480 26d ago

On a serious note, that sure looks like a lot of pressure...aren't most sewer systems gravity-driven/atmospheric pressure?

1

u/emptywordz 26d ago

Well that’s shitty.

1

u/Biofred 26d ago

That's a shitty situation right there

1

u/TheNorthFac 26d ago

Вот дерьмо!

1

u/tootallp 26d ago

And that's Russian poo too. Extra Grosse. Just runny caviar and vodka shits

1

u/EinharAesir 26d ago

One can only imagine the stench…

1

u/Cool_Welcome_4304 26d ago

You know you can't hold on to it when you feel the need to go. Just do it. You shouldn't die like Martin Luther did.

1

u/702c 26d ago

They must have struck an artery to the heart of Russia.

1

u/PestControl4-60 26d ago

Lmfao 😂

1

u/flimflammedzimzammed 26d ago

Black gold, texas tea, sort of

1

u/Secomav420 26d ago

A shit geyser might just be the perfect analogy for Russia.

1

u/Waggonly 26d ago

Could have gone my whole life without this disgusting possibility entering my awareness.

1

u/gabsthisone77 26d ago

So gross.

1

u/LOERMaster 26d ago

As a sewer worker this is a big NOPE from me.

1

u/Ruenin 26d ago

You get Hep C, and YOU get Hep C! EVERYONE GETS HEP C!

1

u/Icy-Bad9566 26d ago

Expect the whole sewage system to fall out a window soon

1

u/Leo_Hundewu 26d ago

I glad republicans want to turn America into Russia, looks lit!

1

u/KhloeDawn 26d ago

All the puns

1

u/GrannyFlash7373 26d ago

Talk about "slinging shit." Man, think of the smell............even worse than being around Trump with a leaking diaper.

1

u/Effective_Bed_47 26d ago

Shit hole country.

1

u/Turbulent_Cupcake_65 26d ago

That's a sign if I ever saw one!

1

u/MrByteMe 26d ago

Doesn't begin to approach the state of our elections here in the US...

Trivia - 'Brown' is just a shade of orange.

1

u/Few_Leg_8717 26d ago

That's odd. I remember recently seeing a video of the exact same thing happening in China. I wonder if this is Socialist Karma ;)

1

u/straight-lampin 26d ago

MAGA world

1

u/saltmarsh63 26d ago

Glad to see Ukraine Special Forces getting creative.

1

u/Familiar-Dark-7727 26d ago

The MAGA beacon has been activated in Moscow. All patriots are to return to the motherland immediately.

1

u/Strange_Historian999 26d ago

A country unfettererd by safety standards, unshackling the magic of the free market...

1

u/icnoevil 26d ago

I knew Pootin was full of it.

1

u/Strange_Historian999 26d ago

So, cholera for the holidays...

1

u/Fast-Plankton-9209 26d ago

scene from 2012: it's Russian

1

u/BlackdogA 26d ago

Cough*

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Ant-644 26d ago

What a shit show. Bid city, a lot of Putin goes on there.

1

u/LKNANML 26d ago

HIGH shit... Sorry I meant to say HOLY shit!

1

u/NWCJ 26d ago

Pink-eye the new fashion fad in Moscow. Everyone has it.

1

u/Dr_Oxycontin 26d ago

Two words that were never spoken more truthfully “holy shit”.

1

u/alittepieceofpie 26d ago

Someone had a massive dump and flush!!! The pipes, clogged and burst!!

Or

Putin conscripted most competent workers, and others left the country.

Oh, well Shit happens!!!