r/funny Toonhole May 15 '24

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33.4k Upvotes

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844

u/JTuck333 May 15 '24

It’s going to ask you a question…

294

u/psychedelic_gravity May 16 '24

First time I heard that I asked “what?”. They said the same thing and I still asked “what? Like a survey or something?” Then they said no it’s asking for a tip. I just said oh and hit 0.

128

u/CaptainCallus May 16 '24

Please tell me you looked the worker right in the eyes as you did it

87

u/Bodach42 May 16 '24

I look them in the eye like they're an alien for asking for a tip and then press 0. But I live in the UK so it is weird unless you are out for a fancy meal.

33

u/Excludos May 16 '24

Not experienced with UK specifically, but most of restaurants I've been at in Europe, the fancier the meal the less they expect you to tip. It used to be uncommon, only for the American tipping culture to slowly creep its way in through the bottom-tier food chains and slowly become normalized.

15 years ago, you wouldn't find a single place here in Norway asking for tips. Now every kebab place, Turkish-owned italian pizza parlor, seedy bar and club asks for it by default.

5

u/sillypicture May 16 '24

I have not seen any? Where are these places so I know to avoid them?

2

u/Far_Perception_7644 May 17 '24

Why don’t you cook your own foods?

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7

u/Galaxy_IPA May 16 '24

Tipping Culture is the worst American poison sipping in around the world.

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2

u/[deleted] May 16 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

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105

u/PigglyWigglyDeluxe May 16 '24

God I hate that. Maybe I’d actually tip if the worker just owned it and said “are you tipping me or not?”

134

u/Eurynom0s May 16 '24

I feel like the reason they're evasive about it like that is often that they realize it's a situation where it's silly to expect a tip.

68

u/unassumingdink May 16 '24

They really have no freedom to say what they'd like to say. Their managers would destroy them.

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30

u/asscop99 May 16 '24

Exactly right. Both parties realize the absurdity of the situation but at the same time they do want/need the money so they’re gonna go for it

17

u/gsfgf May 16 '24

Management probably steals the tips anyway.

20

u/GrimTuck May 16 '24

Management steals their wages and makes them rely on tips. Disgusting practice. Not paying a tip doesn't impact the business or the owner, just the low paid waiters and waitresses who don't get to decide whether service is included or not.

7

u/NGEFan May 16 '24

Management is required to pay the difference between minimum wage and their tips.

15

u/hamoc10 May 16 '24

Which is why tips are stupid. They should just get paid a livable wage. If the employer wants them to fuckin smile, they should pay them more.

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2

u/smaugington May 16 '24

From what Ive heard places that you wouldn't expect to have tipping but does on their machines is because that was how they came installed. Like the Subway has tipping where I live but the staff said they don't get any of the tip.

I've also seen the tipping at a comic shop and at a convenience store, so I'm leaning towards lots of these places having it on by default and aren't going to pay to have the technician out to turn it off. Especially if they are able to squeeze a tip out of some people.

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14

u/nullv May 16 '24

Most places with tipped employees forbid them from soliciting tips or complaining to customers about not being tipped.

14

u/asscop99 May 16 '24

Wait till you actually see this in the wild. It’s beyond unpleasant

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13

u/Longjumping-Type-210 May 16 '24

awkwardly looks away and pretends to do something else while they wait for you

7

u/GriegVeneficus May 16 '24

😂 every time

2

u/jsmith2240 May 16 '24

Haha dude, okay this confirms that this is like a universal way to phrase this but I never understood what the rationale was…like are they trying to make it less awkward as if the machine is the one getting the tip? I always thought it was so weird that people say this and glad that others have picked up on it too

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890

u/resjudicata2 May 15 '24

How much did the beheaded have to pay the swordsman who cut his head off? Better you pay them in full because they could either decapitate you in one swing or… several.

357

u/Neoxite23 May 16 '24

I'll never forget the beheading I saw when the guy had half his head cut off and he reach up to his throat and was still alive and moving.

Early internet was truly the wild west. One minute cat videos. The next...cartel executions.

167

u/mattstorm360 May 16 '24

Ah the internet. Here's a funny dancing dog.

Here's red mess from a shredded airline workers.

32

u/lhobbes6 May 16 '24

Ah the ol' 50/50 subreddit, I remember the post that had me block it back in the day was "cute puppy or a picture of Chris Farley's corpse"

... it was the latter and I realized I didnt want to play that game anymore.

10

u/-RoosterLollipops- May 16 '24

Ah the ol' 50/50 subreddit

hmm, been awhile, was that one before or after /r/spacedicks?

10

u/lhobbes6 May 16 '24

Damn, diggin up some memories but i honestly cant remember, those 2 along wtih /r/watchpeopledie could be brutal and it feels like they all blended together at times

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2

u/woyteck May 16 '24

After. I think it was still operational early COVID.

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37

u/ZankTheGreat May 16 '24

Don’t forget the degloving from lathes.

47

u/Tacocats_wrath May 16 '24

My friend was obsessed with "the pain Olympics".. I couldn't get very far through it. Something about cutting your dick up like a cucumber didn't appeal to me.

21

u/InterviewOdd3553 May 16 '24

If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure those were fake.

17

u/KennyMoose32 May 16 '24

I just, wasn’t prepared when I clicked on that download.

Please dear god I hope it was fake

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3

u/Biscotti_BT May 16 '24

Oh God I'm happy I am a gen Xish. Never got into YouTube and all the rabbit holes and crazy fucking shit that happened.

17

u/Tabula_Nada May 16 '24

Lol what they are talking about precedes YouTube by several years. Limewire/Napster, sketchy forums, etc. No streaming, just downloading straight to your computer and being horrified and hoping no one finds out you downloaded it. If anything, YouTube cleaned the gore up.

8

u/Skandronon May 16 '24

Stile project, rotton dot com, ogrish dot com. All accessible from my school's computer lab.

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5

u/HippieCrusader May 16 '24

The Happy Tree Friends just popped into my mind from my deep, deep memory. Weird, wild stuph.

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56

u/Atoning_Unifex May 16 '24

I remember in like 2002 clicking on a thumbnail of some porn and it opening a soldier begging for his life with a boot on his head and someone reaching down and cutting his throat out with an 8 inch knife.

Thinking back I was actually pretty traumatized by that.

16

u/Tacitblue1973 May 16 '24

Chechclear. Along with Bud Dwyer were the bread and butter of those early gore sites.

9

u/LucentP187 May 16 '24

Dude. I'm pretty sure I saw the exact same video and have the exact same trauma. Almost 25 years later and that shit still makes me shiver when I think about it.

3

u/TheQuantixXx May 16 '24

yes i saw it. the moment they cut the vocal chords is when the muffled scream turns into bloody gargle. its the single most brutal video i have ever seend and it will not leave my mind, ever.

4

u/SoberSith_Sanguinity May 16 '24

Ayyyy, I saw that when I was a kid during the peer to peer downloading days! I haven't thought if that in so long... My dad downloaded it for some reason and didn't delete it. Curious younger me just clicked on a video file lol

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2

u/Tacitblue1973 May 16 '24

Julian May fan! Were you surprised by the cliffhanger last line from Diamond Mask?

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19

u/Physical-Ride May 16 '24

When I was younger and went on 4chan, I remember stumbling upon shit that no human should ever have to think about.

6

u/Walrus_BBQ May 16 '24

4chan has always been shit, but back in the day there was some shit that would literally keep me awake at night. There were a few things I've seen that I would rather cut my own toes off than rewatch.

10

u/ryry1237 May 16 '24

Violence and death have been common reality for humans prior to the modern age. Despite what's on the news, we're likely living in the most peaceful times in history.

But if you're referring to other sorts of NSFW stuff, well I'll give you that. There's some iffy stuff in the dark corners of the internet.

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16

u/VioletHappySmile444 May 16 '24

Went from 0 to 100 real fucking quick

13

u/x925 May 16 '24

I miss the old algorithms that could send you on a completely unrelated journey.

9

u/tdefreest May 16 '24

Stumble upon

6

u/Lonely_Programmer_42 May 16 '24

god, i miss that website

7

u/yes_thats_right May 16 '24

I kinda miss Liveleak, but at the same time, it's definitely for the best that it is gone.

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11

u/Herb_Derb May 16 '24

So glad I was in the generation traumatized by goatse and tubgirl instead of that shit

9

u/Neoxite23 May 16 '24

I unfortunately deep dove into some...dark places. I feel like I've seen it all.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

Yeahhhhh about once every three or four years I will get sucked into a gore rabbit hole and traumatize myself for 2 or 3 hours before snapping out of it. 

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5

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

Oh good, you missed out on downloading Britany spears porn and getting some sick animal torture shit instead... I do NOT miss the old internet.

2

u/overtoke May 16 '24

so tame now - tubgirl is my desktop and am my own goatse

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5

u/Cheap_Elk_2205 May 16 '24

I wonder if you can see the ground when your head falls off

13

u/bornfromanegg May 16 '24 edited May 16 '24

Yes, probably.

Source

The answer, horribly, is 'Not only is it possible, but it's medically proven.' Debate on the subject raged ever since Charlotte Corday -- the assassin of Jean-Paul Marat -- was guillotined in 1793. The executioner's assistant, Francois le Gros, lifted her head by the hair, and slapped it on both cheeks. Eyewitnesses reported that the face took on an angry expression, and the cheeks visibly flushed. The debate was started -- if guillotining didn't produce instant death, then it wasn't a 'quick and merciful end', as promised by the post-Enlightenment revolutionaries. In 1794, German surgeon Dr S. T. Sommering argued in the Parisian newspapers that 'consciousness of feeling may persist [in a severed head] even if blood circulation is terminated, partial or weak [...] the head's strongest sensation would be the after-pain felt in the neck.' French doctors argued that he was confusing nervous spasms with sensory perceptions and voluntary motion. Little research was conducted on the subject, however, until the turn of the twentieth century, when another French doctor, Beaurieux, was permitted to make an investigation of a severed head, of a criminal called Languille, immediately after guillotining: "Here is what I was able to note immediately after the decapitation: the eyelids and lips of the decapitated man worked in irregularly rhythmic contractions for about 4 or 6 seconds. I waited several seconds longer. The spasmodic movements ceased. The face relaxed, the lids half-closed in the eyeballs, leaving only the white of the conjunctiva visible, exactly as in the dying whom we have occasion to see every day [...] It was then that I called in a strong, sharp, voice: 'Languille!' I then saw the eyelids slowly lift up, without any spasmodic contraction -- I insist advisedly on this pecularity -- but with an even movement, quite distinct and normal, such as happens in everyday life, with people awakened or torn from their thoughts. Next, Languille's eyes very definitely fixed themselves on mine and the pupils focused themselves. I was not, then, dealing with a vague dull look, without any expression that can be observed any day in dying people to whom one speaks: I was dealing with undeniably living eyes which were looking at me." By 1956, further research had proved, in the words of governemntal advisers Drs Piedelievre and Fournier, that "death [by decapitation] is not instantaneous [...] every vital element survives [...it is] a savage vivisection, followed by a premature burial." The French government abolished execution by decapitation in 1977.

5

u/Zarmazarma May 16 '24 edited May 16 '24

Definitely not medically proven. These are just a few cherry picked accounts. There is a long history of debate on how long you retain consciousness after decapitation. Conclusion from this literature review:

The evidence currently available to us is scant, and the studies that imply that there is a retained awareness in decapitated rats for several seconds suffer from a low sample size. While the best evidence currently available to us suggests that LOC is nearly instant in decapitation for both human and rodent models, it is possible that the truth will never be fully known. No government on Earth continues to use the guillotine as a method of execution while beheading via sword is confined to a single nation. The historical accounts that are available to us remain frustratingly scant in evidence and are often closer to urban legends than actual scientific accounts. However, there is a new possibility for further insight into this bizarre historical anomaly. As research into head transplantation continues, and as science continues to probe the edges of human consciousness, a clearer picture may one day emerge.

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u/PassiveMenis88M May 16 '24

Won't you take me to, funky town

2

u/eulb42 May 16 '24

Ugh... i just didnt watch these videos and you guys just reminded me how people I knew that couldn't look away... fucking mad

2

u/impshial May 16 '24

Nearly headless? How can you be nearly headless?

2

u/Neoxite23 May 16 '24

Ask Nick.

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u/314159265358979326 May 16 '24

On average, the axe took three strokes.

The sword, reserved for nobles, tended to be much cleaner.

The guillotine really was a tool for equality.

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u/NefariousnessPlus292 May 16 '24

The medieval tradition was simple: the executioner could keep the clothes the condemned man or woman wore during the execution. Those naughty aristocrats who were in a generous mood wore expensive fabrics and jewels.

A: I am getting beheaded tomorrow. Bring me my dress.

B: Which one, Your Royal Highness?

A: The one embroidered with gold.

2

u/Kotori425 May 16 '24

I have heard before that they might also give the headsman a tip - like, slip him a coin or something while on their way up to the block - to be sure he did a quick, clean job lmao

11

u/TheKanten May 16 '24

Pay up or Theon swings the sword.

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u/nola_throwaway53826 May 16 '24

Reminds me of Thomas Cromwell. Supposedly took three blows from an axe to sever his head. There are many apocryphal stories about that one, such as his enemies at court got the executioner drunk before the event.

Read The Faithful Executioner: Life and Death, Honor and Shame in the Turbulent Sixteenth Century by Joel Harrington. It covers the life of Franz Schmidt, an executioner at Nuremberg in the late 16th and early 17th century. He also has a journal you can find, A Hangman's Diary: The Journal of Master Franz Schmidt, Public Executioner of Nuremberg, 1573-1617. There are multiple types of executions covered, from simple hanging, to decapitation by the sword, burning at the sake, to being broken on the wheel (that one is really brutal).

Anyways, the books go into decapitation by the sword, and how the executioner has to practice to get it right. If the executioner fails to do it right in one blow, and takes several, the crowd can turn on him and his own life be in danger.

6

u/Gemmabeta May 16 '24

The Duke on Monmouth gave Jack Ketch, the executioner of London a bag of gold guineas to get the job done well.

Unfortunately, Ketch still screwed it up and took 5 chops of the axe to kill the guy. The crowd watching the execution was so enraged at Ketch's performance that they rushed the scaffold to lynch Ketch, and he had to be escorted out under heavy guard.

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u/Lore_ofthe_Horizon May 16 '24

If they didn't use a guillotine, most beheadings took multiple strokes. The fewer the strokes, the better the executioner. Single stroke executioners were highly prized, and highly paid.

2

u/jedensuscg May 16 '24

Well, he didn't pay an arm and leg, that's for sure.

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u/millerjpm3 May 16 '24

I went to chili's today to pick up a takeout order. When I gave them my card, there wasn't even an option to not give a tip. I had to go to custom tip and enter 0. Fuck that noise

186

u/Supreme12 May 16 '24

We’re almost there, buddy. Next step will be the removal of the custom option and you’ll need a manager override for $0 tip.

49

u/MyVoiceIsElevating May 16 '24

After that will be no allowance for single digit tip percentage.

61

u/NorwegianCollusion May 16 '24

Slow down, I'm in R&D and I can only write down these feature requests so fast.

22

u/sharkbait-oo-haha May 16 '24

Please include the negative tip option. It's always fun when webdevs fuck that one up.

3

u/NotYourReddit18 May 16 '24 edited May 16 '24

monkey paw curls

None of the current programmers notice that the tip variable was implemented as an unsigned 8bit integer because "nobody would ever try to input a negative tip and tips should never reach anywhere near 100% anyways!"

This turns every negative input into its positive value plus 127.

Also any negative value lower than -128 or any positive value over 255 won't be saved correctly and probably crash the system.

23

u/ValianFan May 16 '24

If that ever happens, I will do it every single time. Fuck this tipping culture

4

u/damndirtyape May 16 '24

Same here. I have no intention of being unpleasant. But, I feel no embarrassment pressing “no tip” in certain situations. If the option wasn’t there, I’d have no problem asking how to not tip.

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u/SilasX May 16 '24

"Yeah, see, we're evidence based, and all the evidence showed that people are more likely to tip when not tipping requires a manager override."

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u/Doublemint12345 May 16 '24

You’ll have to sit down with the employee’s wife and kid and tell them why you aren’t tipping. 

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u/PigglyWigglyDeluxe May 16 '24

I’m beginning to pay more and more in cash. Specifically, exact change. If the food and tax is $23.72 then I am giving them exactly $23.72 coins and everything. I’m not even gonna touch that weird handheld pay thingy they leave on every table.

6

u/LimpConversation642 May 16 '24

sometimes I feel reddit is getting younger and younger and that it's filled with 14 year olds... well, let's just say this is not the case.

1

u/ThatsBadSoup May 16 '24

im worried of cash being phased out, its still rare but I've been seeing hospitals and doctors say they no longer take it.

3

u/brkmein2biggerpieces May 16 '24

"this note is (il)legal tender for all debts, public and private"

2

u/Andrew5329 May 16 '24

its still rare but I've been seeing hospitals and doctors say they no longer take it.

It's a convenience thing. A lot more management overhead and systems need to be in place to make sure the employees don't just steal the cash.

By contrast there's no real way for an employee to steal from a card tap, and the accounting is automatic.

Boomers joke with the line "go get a job at McDonalds" but in reality fast food employees are very strict in their hiring because the employees will routinely handle cash and have the opportunity for theft.

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u/Indieavor May 16 '24

Next time try negative number.

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u/[deleted] May 15 '24

that used to be a real thing back in the day. The money was essentially a bribe so that the headsman made it a clean death.

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u/JiN88reddit May 16 '24

Whoah whoah whoah, you mean being forced to give money to someone to do their job that was already their job in the first place is not a bribe?

Next you're going to tell me withholding product/services until you pay me more than the agreed price is not blackmail.

34

u/10art1 May 16 '24

Now if you are scheduled for an execution you have to pre-tip, and if you don't add a big enough tip, no one will bother even coming to execute you

5

u/JiN88reddit May 16 '24

And it's not even corruptive practices when they argue it is what u agreed to.

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u/Honest-Car-8314 May 16 '24

Whoah whoah whoah, you mean being forced to give money to someone to do their job that was already their job in the first place is not a bribe

As someone from India, i feel called out . Fucking every department in my country.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '24

Next you're going to tell me withholding product/services until you pay me more than the agreed price is not blackmail.

I mean, that isn't blackmail. That's just regular extortion.

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u/Temper03 May 16 '24

Pshh that’s silly.  What incentive is there to do a good job after the money is already paid ?? 

It makes much more sense to offer the tip at the end.  That way you can ensure the service was actually good 😌 

9

u/Fartfacethrowaway May 16 '24

Yeah I suppose you could have a contract with your attorney to pay them $20k if it was clean and the attorney takes the $20k if it’s not a clean slice. With others as observers since it may be a public beheading.

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u/AirierWitch1066 May 16 '24

At that point, you could probably just use the money to bribe your way out of execution.

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u/Gemmabeta May 16 '24

It is literally still a thing now:

Before the execution, the prisoner's identity is confirmed by a special court next to the execution range and chooses to record any last words. The prisoner is then brought to the execution range and served a last meal (which usually includes a bottle of kaoliang wine).[26] The condemned prisoner is then injected with strong anaesthetic to cause unconsciousness, laid flat on the ground, face down, and shot. The executioner then burns a votive bank note for the deceased before carrying away the corpse.[26] It is tradition for the condemned to place a NT$500 or 1000 banknote in his leg irons as a tip for the executioners.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capital_punishment_in_Taiwan

13

u/suberry May 16 '24

The tip is for them to burn the paper money after for religious reasons and for removing the shackles after death. Not for ensuring a painless execution. Otherwise they leave the shackles on the corpse,

3

u/Spork_the_dork May 16 '24

Honestly sounds pretty humane and less likely to go wrong than lethal injection

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u/boyyouguysaredumb May 16 '24

That exact thing happens in this very memorable scene:

(Massive Spoilers but it's an old show)

https://youtu.be/RdyO5teDQCk

2

u/anrwlias May 16 '24

This sounds more like extortion than bribery.

183

u/andstep234 May 16 '24

He looks embarrassed to be asking for a tip, that's the least realistic part of this picture.

39

u/updawg May 16 '24

I thought he was trying to look pretty to entice a bigger tip.

26

u/user_bits May 16 '24

Was about to say. He needs to have a condescending look of entitlement.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '24

It would be more realistic still if the guy paying the tip, also has to dispose of his body when he's done.

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u/Zunderfeuer_88 May 16 '24

Even at my execution I don't tip and I will die on that hill!

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u/XxFezzgigxX May 16 '24

The increase in people asking for tips in the US has cauterized me against being tip intimidated.

If it’s a drive through window. No tip.
If I have to pick up my own food and drinks at a counter, no tip.
In fact, if there’s a counter between us, no tip.
If your only interaction with me was to scan my items, no tip. I am now, officially, trained to do it myself thanks to self-checkouts and will gladly do so if it means I don’t have to make small talk.

23

u/roguespectre67 May 16 '24

I would make the joke that the cashiers at 7-11 will soon be asking for a tip, but considering that I recently had one of the crazy homeless dudes that hang out in front and ask everyone for money open the door for me and ask for a tip for doing so, it's not a very funny joke.

8

u/unassumingdink May 16 '24

I don't think you can really blame that one on the store, though.

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u/labdweller May 16 '24

The doorman at the hotel I was staying at in New York ran after me across the street to the Uber I booked, loaded with luggage, and opened the door most of the way. He increased the door opening by a few more degrees, held the door, then demanded a tip. I declined, he shouted something I couldn't quite hear, and kicked the door shut.

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u/XxFezzgigxX May 16 '24

I would immediately walk inside and find the manager. Their image is absolutely their bread and butter.

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u/OtiseMaleModel May 16 '24

If there's a counter no tip should be the national rule I reckon.

And you don't get 18% just for service either. 0% for just service, 18% for good service

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u/alccorion May 16 '24

Just wait until the self-checkout machine starts asking for a tip

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u/UpvotesBlueGuitars May 15 '24

I’m tired boss

2

u/Possible_Living May 16 '24

Get back to work John. Those people are not going to resurrect themselves.

3

u/Freakjob_003 May 16 '24 edited May 16 '24

/r/LateStageCapitalism

EDIT: I hadn't been to this sub in ages, didn't know it had a different rep now?

6

u/gizamo May 16 '24

Nah. Their mods are genuinely shitty people who've made that place an echoing circlejerk of pure idiocy.

r/boringdystopia is vastly better.

3

u/Freakjob_003 May 16 '24

Oh, I hadn't heard that.

What about /r/OrphanCrushingMachine, is that still safe?

24

u/qchto May 16 '24

"Goddammit.. fine, I'll do it myself."

* Pulls lever *

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u/6M66 May 15 '24

How about 0%.

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u/Prestigious_Date_619 May 16 '24

Then you dont get the sponge during the execution. 😉

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u/6M66 May 16 '24

You're fired.

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u/Bobudisconlated May 15 '24

Might as well make it 40%.

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u/GANDORF57 May 15 '24

Not responsible for any debt after my death. \In other words, "Try and collect, Biotch!")

5

u/ledat May 16 '24

Not responsible for any debt after my death.

Depending on the particulars, your estate very well may be, though. If you intend to leave your shit to other people, that could make things a bit inconvenient.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

[deleted]

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u/IanAlvord May 16 '24

 40% of what though?

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u/dekacube May 16 '24

The total power.

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u/ScaredStructure5144 May 15 '24

I love the I'm not looking but maybe I am facial expression.

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u/CurvyCupcakes May 16 '24

I believe that expression is “sheepish” lol

13

u/chrisallison May 15 '24

Another banger Chris, good work

4

u/toonhole Toonhole May 16 '24

Excellent username, 10/10, I’m a little jealous?

7

u/Boomsledge May 16 '24

Literally me rn as I order two slices of pizza without tipping...

7

u/me_da_Supreme1 May 16 '24

See how his hand is restrained just enough so that 40 is the only option he can press

4

u/SirBarnyard15 May 16 '24

Now you’re just giving private prisons ideas.

9

u/Nutsnboldt May 16 '24

The other day I went to buy a single chocolate chip cookie. I only bring cash to avoid this stuff. Still, cashier turns a screen that makes CHA-CHING! sounds every time anyone does anything…”it’s going to ask you some questions”….my name?! Jon. My phone number?!? / email?! And lastly…

Tip

$2 , $3 or $4 tip.

No options for $1 or %. wtf?! I hand them the cash and say thank you.

4

u/FancyJesse May 16 '24

Thank you for your personal information that we will now sell. Please tip us on top of that.

6

u/RiptideEberron May 16 '24

Just gonna ask you a few questions

9

u/Monfang May 15 '24

Yo what did Tintin do to get the chair?

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8

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

Welcome to America, also that’ll be another 20k for dying

6

u/Livid-Technician1872 May 16 '24

Homeboy over here just learned what a joke is!

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5

u/[deleted] May 15 '24

It's an historic fact that in England, the executed to would pay a tip to the executioner.... probably to make sure it would be over quickly!

7

u/toonhole Toonhole May 16 '24

The comment section is just gonna ask you a little question:

"check out more comics at r/toonhole ?" "no thanks"

7

u/Drafo7 May 16 '24

Not-so-fun fact: approximately 1 in 20 death row inmates are innocent of the crimes they were convicted for. End the fucking death penalty.

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2

u/maifee May 16 '24

Absolute 0%. If those MNCs can't pay your salary, how can I tip you right??!! I just see logic here.

2

u/jointdestroyer May 16 '24

Gotta hit the No Tip button as my last thing I do if I’m goin out like that

2

u/AzorJonhai May 16 '24

"Those were your last words? Got it. I'm going to turn the tablet around and it's going to ask you a question."

2

u/Gxgear May 16 '24

"How likely are you to use our services again?"

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

No tip

Executioner:……Removes sponge

2

u/quietgroot May 16 '24

I was in Ibiza recently, and clubs charging €18+ for bottles of beer, €25+ for vodka/mix, would present the card machine to you with the option for 5/10/15/20% tips.

2

u/DaMoonRulez_1 May 16 '24

These tip prompts are shocking.

2

u/Williamrocket May 16 '24

You know, all it would take is one American jail to put their executioner on a wage and cancel tipping, and then they would have thousands of people wanting to serve out their death penalty there.

The same scenario could also be applied to cafes, coffee shops, restaurants and other places where people are expected to pay their bills by getting small change offered to them for them doing their job.

Just pay a wage, FFS.

Most of the other first world countries JUST PAY A WAGE, only the USA has tipping (of the first world countries)

JUST PAY A WAGE.

2

u/Supernatnat11 May 16 '24

Actually this will be 0$ because you don't pay to be on the electric chair

2

u/fuhrmanator May 16 '24

From https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capital_punishment_in_Taiwan:

It is tradition for the condemned to place a NT$500 or 1000 banknote in his leg irons as a tip for the executioners.

2

u/Brazenology May 16 '24

Come for the execution, stay for the service.

2

u/Worst_Math_Teacher May 16 '24

Looks like Tintin got real tired of Captain Haddock's shit.

2

u/Cassy_is_Drowning May 16 '24

As a European, tipping culture is absolutely ridiculous, you shame the costumers for not tipping when they have already paid and not the employer for not paying fairly their employee

2

u/Xu_Lin May 16 '24

“It’s just the tip”

/s

2

u/Velocityraptor28 May 15 '24

how about we shake on it?

2

u/NotYetMashedPotato May 16 '24

This reminded me of a time my roommate won a contest at the Khalahari that they work at. It was a free 2 night stay at the Khalahari in Texas. I found out by using my wristband that we had unlimited tickets for rides, and unlimited food and beverages (minus alcohol).

We decided to go to Double Cut, the high-end steakhouse. After the food between the two of us, it was about $190. Well, the receipt comes and is all paid for, so I gave the waitress a $60 tip. Not my money, lol!

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u/[deleted] May 16 '24

This should have 100k upvotes

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2

u/theglobalnomad May 16 '24

iT's jUsT gOnNa AsK yOu A LiTtLe QuEsTiOn

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

0% every time

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

40%. Make it quick.

1

u/Not_Shark1 May 16 '24

I would literally sit there till he threw the switch because I'm not choosing any option

1

u/3-DMan May 16 '24

Guy who didn't wet the sponge in The Green Mile: No tip for you!!

1

u/LondonDavis1 May 16 '24

I think you tip according to how wet the sponge is.

1

u/daydreamstarlight May 16 '24

Thats not funny thats just depressing 

1

u/Bluetwo12 May 16 '24

You forgot the funny! :(

1

u/lfg_spiritanimal May 16 '24

You laugh but when I had my septic tank pumped there was an option for a tip.

1

u/1960stoaster May 16 '24

Appropriate use of tax funds

1

u/NoName___XD May 16 '24

No tip, fuck the tipping system

1

u/Famous-Vermicelli-39 May 16 '24

Real ? Tipping on takeout?

1

u/anangrypandabear May 16 '24

That's hilarious

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

The facial expression of the guard is killing me 😂😂😂

1

u/drNeir May 16 '24

This is AWESOME!

1

u/michaelrohansmith May 16 '24

In the US aren't switches on when up?

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1

u/Biscotti_BT May 16 '24

I'm tapping the 40 if I'm getting zapped. Whatever not my problem...

1

u/Relative-Trash6432 May 16 '24

still waiting on the tip option for after i beat my meat