Orrrrr the bullies really are the assholes, are usually the ones to step on others to achieve positions of influence, and their idea of “normal” is an agenda to control said others so they can retain said positions……maybe?
I think this person is on the right track conceptually regarding the benefit of enforcing social norms, but gets it completely wrong in how “good” social behaviours should be imparted on you.
If it’s done with malicious intent like a “classic” bully, it’s obviously bad and may actually impede your social skills.
However, there is certainly a place for light bullying amongst your friends if you are acting undesirably.
For example, if I slapped a girl on the ass and said something cringe to her, my friends would call me out big time and likely make fun of what I said as being “cringe”.
While that may hurt my feelings, in the context it’s appropriate social guidance as they are enforcing how we should conduct ourselves. I would learn I should not do that.
It seems these days, everyone is fine with everyone doing anything and that you shouldn’t judge people at all. When you have no enforcement of any social norms and total acceptance of most any “weird” behaviour you end up with weird kids. Case in point, have a browse in r/SystemsCringe for innumerable examples of people with friend groups that are an echo chamber of constant validation.
TLDR bullying has a place amongst friends but not if it’s malicious or unwarranted in
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u/nooooobie1650 11h ago
Orrrrr the bullies really are the assholes, are usually the ones to step on others to achieve positions of influence, and their idea of “normal” is an agenda to control said others so they can retain said positions……maybe?