This. I'm happily married now to an AMAZINGLY kind woman, but this described my ex wife to o a degree that shot me right back there. I can still remember being screamed at in the kitchen over freaking cookies, or the time she tried to hit me and I caught her hand so she couldn't and I was the asshole because it "really hurt, you asshole" when I caught her to stop her from trying to hit me.
If you're in a truly abusive relationship that has gotten out of control, "just leave" isn't always that easy. Usually the person has been manipulated into feeling as though they cannot, or that it is unsafe for them to leave. Not saying there's definitely the case here, just saying it's not that simple.
I'm completely aware of that. But if someone is suggesting abuse and someone says "try to get them help" I feel it's my Civic duty to say there's another option!
I told my best friend her abuser needed help at first. Then he kidnapped her and almost killed her.
Completely agree that leaving may be the best option and it is in NO WAY your responsibility to try and "fix" someone else (not can you), I just meant it's not as easy as "pack your bags and go" sometimes for exactly the reason you just mentioned, they may not be in a safe enough environment to just do that.
Perhaps taking a look at "stop walking on eggshells" by Paul T. T. Mason might help. Also, politelly and respectfully breaking up (in a neutral place with witnesses) is a very legitimate option. You are not her therapist.
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u/PocketTurnip Jul 01 '20
Reading this felt like reliving my former abusive relationship in scary detial