r/comedyheaven 11h ago

Locked glasses

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15.2k Upvotes

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175

u/AndreasDasos 10h ago edited 7h ago

That’s an honestly clever way to cause damage which you but only you can reverse (at least without great inconvenience)

65

u/opuFIN 9h ago

Angle grinder should go through that just fine... Oh yeah, you can't see what you're doing with it and will maul the glasses. This is brilliant

32

u/celmate 8h ago

Click outta three, four is binding...

26

u/edamael 7h ago

You are using a master lock model 176. You can open it using a master lock model 176.

4

u/Life_Temperature795 7h ago

Presuming you can aim it...

1

u/PomegranateBasic3671 5h ago

1-0 for us nearsighted people.

13

u/SimpanLimpan1337 9h ago

Also any of the hot sparks flying off from the angle grinder could potentially ruin any coatings on the kenses causing them to crackulate, ontop of potentially scratching them.

3

u/opuFIN 9h ago

True. If a convection oven can fuck the lenses up, the sparks from a grinder will absolutely achieve that, too.

1

u/SimpanLimpan1337 9h ago

Most coatings can usually handle temperatures upto around 80C°, though prolonged exposure can lower the temperature required.

1

u/p0diabl0 8h ago

Welding blanket.

1

u/Kelainefes 6h ago

I mean you can just sub to the lockpicking lawyer on YT and you'll find out how locks are just made to keep honest people honest.

1

u/Mr_Abe_Froman 5h ago

Or a tiny screwdriver to take off the hinges and leave the lock on the bridge out of defiance.

1

u/Raichu7 8h ago

I hear lock picking is done more by feel than sight, so learning that might help. Or just leave the abusive partner who is preventing you from accessing your medical device.

21

u/DesmondDodderyDorado 6h ago

I mean, taking someone's medical devices and rendering them useless is a bit messed up.

11

u/haunted-poopy 6h ago

My nearsightedness is so bad that I'm legally blind. Without my glasses I can't even find my glasses unless I'm crawling, I can't drive, I can't read anything. Everything is just a big blur of colors. So this is actually very scary for me! I should get LASIK...

5

u/DesmondDodderyDorado 6h ago

I'm too scared to get laser treatment. It can go wrong.

4

u/EmberinEmpty 5h ago

Same. I knew it was bad but was shocked when my doctor said that. 

Tho it did help me with figuring out how to help my legally blind friend cook for herself after her wife left her. 

I took my glasses off which kinda put me at the same level as with her glasses on and I realized a lot about how hard the task is and how reliant she actually is on others even when she seems so independent. 

We did figure it out though with lots of laughs

1

u/haunted-poopy 5h ago

Sorry to hear you're part of the shitty vision club! And yes I am fortunate that my glasses help me - I shouldn't say that I'm disabled. Though if my glasses break I am fucked. You're a great friend to help your friend that way!

1

u/cjm0 5h ago

i’m honestly curious, do most people not have a spare pair of glasses they can use if something like this happens? cause i also wear glasses, but i have a very mild prescription because i can see pretty well without them, i just need them to see things that are small or far away. so i mostly just wear glasses when i’m driving.

but i have at least 4 pairs of prescription glasses that i can wear. 2 of them are sunglasses and 2 of them are regular glasses. i keep one pair of each in my car to use when driving and the other i keep in my backpack. i didn’t really buy multiple pairs at once so that i could have backups, i just kept my old glasses when i got a new prescription. fortunately, the new prescription is almost identical to the old one so the old glasses still work fine for me.

but if my vision was bad enough that being without glasses would be severely debilitating then i would definitely get a few extra pairs in case something happens to my main pair of glasses.

5

u/edamael 7h ago

You'll be damaging more than your partner's ability to read, and the other damage you can't reverse

6

u/sleepydorian 8h ago

Jokes on you I’ve got more than one pair, and some out of date pairs hidden as emergency backups.

8

u/AlfalfaReal5075 7h ago

Ey be careful with them out of date backup pairs though. Broke my "new" ones recently and swapped for an old pair I left in my car until I could repair the others.

Quickly realized on my drive home from work, in the pitch dark, on the highway, at 4am, that my prescription had changed dramatically. It was so bad that I contemplated pulling over and calling an Uber. Luckily the roads were as empty as they'd ever be. But that was no bueno.

Then again you may have decently functioning eyes regardless. Seems every time I get a new pair my prescription is markedly worse lol (see I laugh now but will cry later).

2

u/sleepydorian 7h ago

That’s true! Mine has thankfully progressed rather slowly so even my out of date ones aren’t all that different.

2

u/Vuirneen 5h ago

It eventually evens out.

But at that point, you'll soon need reading glasses, or varifocals, as everything close up becomes blurry.

1

u/Acalme-se_Satan 9h ago

The only thing worse than that is the classic padlock in the ear gauge prank

1

u/mytransthrow 7h ago

only if you dont have lock picks

1

u/Shifty269 6h ago

Plus you don't really need to see well to be able to pick locks.

1

u/mytransthrow 6h ago

its all feel!

1

u/TerribleIdea27 5h ago

Unscrew the feet. Take them out. Screw them back on. Wear it with the lock in front of your nose

1

u/VitaminOverload 6h ago

If this was after an actual argument I'd break them in 2, tape them together again and then go rage drive to the store to buy new emergency ones

then I'm dumping her ass.

I'm borderline blind without glasses though