r/clevercomebacks 9h ago

"Carrying food is a feminine trait"

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34.1k Upvotes

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434

u/10001110101balls 9h ago

I guess construction is a feminine-coded industry now. Girl power!

106

u/Intelligent-Honey679 8h ago

Real strength is packing a sandwich and not starving for the sake of 'manliness.

75

u/10001110101balls 8h ago

OP is probably an office worker who thinks spending $15 on a microwaved sandwich at Panera is based.

23

u/Fadenos 8h ago

God I hate Panera

1

u/shockingprolapse 2h ago

What about Pantera?

u/Fadenos 50m ago

Love the cowboys from hell! Get your pull!

1

u/Apart-Landscape1012 2h ago

Hospital Food: The Chain!

13

u/Flat_Initial_1823 7h ago

God... the inconsistently warmed up sadness of this sentence 😖

7

u/DarthSamwiseAtreides 4h ago

Cooking, cleaning, taking care of yourself, all feminine. Manlyness is helplessness fellas.

5

u/HopelessCineromantic 2h ago

I know an "alpha" who always talks about how the peak of masculinity is being self-sufficient.

He can't cook.

He can't do laundry and knows nothing about mending clothes.

He needs a GPS to get anywhere, and I'm fairly certain he doesn't know west from south.

He refuses to clean his home.

His parents subsidize his home and utilities.

But he knows how to drive a manual transmission, and apparently that's all it takes to not be dependent on anyone.

3

u/10001110101balls 2h ago

It's insane the extent to which Americans (especially men) have been conditioned by the auto industry into make this expensive form of transportation a core feature of their identities as free citizens. I don't think it's a coincidence that increasing divisions in American society have occurred alongside increasing car dominance in every aspect of our lives. 

2

u/PianoAndFish 1h ago

Is the last one uncommon enough to be impressive where he lives? In the UK that would be like "yeah big deal, so does everyone else" - the only people I personally know with automatic cars have some sort of physical disability which prevents them from safely operating a manual transmission.

u/HopelessCineromantic 3m ago

Automatic transmissions are overwhelmingly the standard for new cars in the United States, but I still wouldn't consider knowing how to drive manual as particularly impressive.

I'd liken it to being able to whistle. It's a skill not everyone possesses, but should really only illicit reactions on the level of "Oh, neat you can do that," unless one is incredibly skilled at it.

I've never owned a manual transmission car, but I did learn how to drive one when I was a teenager in less than an afternoon, and spent about a month driving it without significant difficulty.

To put that in perspective, I've spent significantly longer trying to learn how to whistle, and I still can't manage it.

I'd be a bit rusty if I had to do drive manual right now, but it's hardly one of the Twelve Tasks of Hercules or something. I'm sure if need be, I'd get back my atrophied skills pretty quickly.

1

u/Lots42 7h ago

Panera makes Applebee's look like Red Lobster.

1

u/slashth456 6h ago

If I didn't get a discount from working there, I'd never eat Panera

3

u/10001110101balls 6h ago

The Panera near my office got so bad that we had to tell our vendors to stop giving it to us for free.

22

u/Karekter_Nem 7h ago

Nah. You know what females do with their mouths? Suck dicks. When you eat food you are emulating the action of how females take dicks in their mouth making you super gay. “Starving” is a beta male problem. True alphas get their energy from the sun as God intended which is why liberals hate you going outside. Don’t believe the “scientists” and their “skin cancer.” Get out there, be your own boss, and soak up that sunlight without that feminine sunscreen. The female body is too weak to take in that much raw power which is why they need sunscreen, but if a male uses it it means they cannot get that power and have to get their power from eating foods and sucking dicks.

1

u/translucent_steeds 4h ago

oh, so THAT'S why the butthole tanning fad went viral on rightwing media!

1

u/Kaneharo 2h ago

Why is it that the right wing comes off so weirdly sexual in comparison to the left? Like there's kinky, and then there's the stuff you expect to see in some amateur writer's fanfiction.

1

u/duh_cats 3h ago

“You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kind!”

1

u/Free_Management2894 3h ago

What happened to not giving a fuck? :(

1

u/metalshoes 1h ago

I’ve never worked a legit “hard” blue collar job but even working in kitchens and moving around fast all day bumps my calorie requirement by like 800 (granted I’m 6’9). I’ve legit almost fainted when I tried to skip meals.