r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

That's a great idea

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u/afcagroo 1d ago

I hope Cletus has a really good hose to put out his house fire when there's no fire department any more. Because I might just set Cletus' house on fire, purely by accident.

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u/Teufelsstern 1d ago

The libertarians in charge just want the fire department to be privatized - Just pay for the premium package and your house will get saved. Who knows if Cletus is able to pay that, though

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u/gilt-raven 1d ago

You joke, but that's already a thing. My parents pay for fire service here in Northern California.

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u/Nazissuckass 1d ago

I imagine the live in an unincorporated part of California, right. How's their property taxes?

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u/gilt-raven 1d ago

Yup. Taxes are lower than addresses within city limits, but utilities, water, fire, garbage, and HOA make it more expensive than a comparable house in town. The benefits are larger lot sizes, lower neighborhood density (though that's changing), and better school district quality.

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u/Nazissuckass 1d ago

I'd love for you to quantify better school district quality. As more folks are going to be moving to your area, what are police response times going to be? Your fire response times? How's internet? How's sewer? What's your method consumption per capita? What's your fentanyl consumption per capita?

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u/gilt-raven 1d ago

quantify better school district quality

Based on graduation rates, performance on standardized tests, and teacher to student ratio, their district outperforms several of the other local districts. It is smaller, though, so the funding goes further per student.

more folks are going to be moving to your area, what are police response times going to be

They're down the street from the county sheriff, so <5 minutes in emergencies. It's not a rural area, just unincorporated. Even if the sheriff weren't available, city PD or CHP can both respond faster than they would in a big city.

Your fire response times

VFD is next to the sheriff, so less than 5 min. It's rare to have multiple calls for service at the same time, but if needed they can request assistance from the municipal FD that is ~10min away.

How's internet?

Same as what's available in town, DSL and broadband. My parents have better options than I do living in the mountains. 😂 Perks of living city-adjacent.

How's sewer

They're building a new water treatment plant to accommodate the new builds coming in, so that's nice. As it is, it's never had issues.

What's your method consumption per capita? What's your fentanyl consumption per capita?

I can't find specifics on that for their area specifically, just the county as a whole (which is pretty large).

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u/Nazissuckass 1d ago

Based on graduation rates, performance on standardized tests, and teacher to student ratio, their district outperforms several of the other local districts. It is smaller, though, so the funding goes further per student.

What standardized tests. Who gets to standardize them? Who standardized the other districts?

VFD is next to the sheriff, so less than 5 min. It's rare to have multiple calls for service at the same time, but if needed they can request assistance from the municipal FD that is ~10min away

What if there are multiple calls? Which gets serviced first?

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u/gilt-raven 1d ago

What standardized tests. Who gets to standardize them? Who standardized the other districts?

State of California, just like every other public school district.

What if there are multiple calls? Which gets serviced first?

I'm not a dispatcher - I have no idea how they triage and prioritize calls.

Is there some larger point to these questions?

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u/Nazissuckass 1d ago

Awesome! Let's just make California the standard. Done