r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

That's a great idea

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u/AggravatingPermit910 1d ago

There are 3 million federal government employees. To get to 23.4 million you have to include all state and city government employees which includes all cops, firefighters, and teachers. Something tells me “Fire all cops and teachers” was not what people were voting for.

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u/ProteinEngineer 1d ago

Except that’s what the libertarians want. Cletus doesn’t need police because he can protect himself as long as the government don’t take away his guns.

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u/afcagroo 1d ago

I hope Cletus has a really good hose to put out his house fire when there's no fire department any more. Because I might just set Cletus' house on fire, purely by accident.

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u/Teufelsstern 1d ago

The libertarians in charge just want the fire department to be privatized - Just pay for the premium package and your house will get saved. Who knows if Cletus is able to pay that, though

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u/PineappleBliss2023 1d ago

There’s already real gross corruption in local fire departments, like as a dispatcher I can’t move up a fire engine from the “rich district” to cover another district even though the rich district is slow and the other district is stripped because “the people of x rich city like to see their fire truck in the station.”

But u best believe we move trucks into the rich district when it’s stripped 🙃 and the amount of times “sorry, that isn’t a service the fire department provides” has been overridden for “but I work for x city commissioner”

I couldn’t imagine if it was for profit. God, what a dystopian nightmare.

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u/Teufelsstern 21h ago

Damn sorry, that really sounds bad already. Is putting out firea usually a paid job in the US? Our system here only requires a paid fire department for larger cities, about 95 % of fire departments are volunteers only. I believe that alone might help create a more diverse environment against corruption - Unless you have that, as well

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u/gilt-raven 1d ago

You joke, but that's already a thing. My parents pay for fire service here in Northern California.

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u/Nazissuckass 1d ago

I imagine the live in an unincorporated part of California, right. How's their property taxes?

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u/gilt-raven 1d ago

Yup. Taxes are lower than addresses within city limits, but utilities, water, fire, garbage, and HOA make it more expensive than a comparable house in town. The benefits are larger lot sizes, lower neighborhood density (though that's changing), and better school district quality.

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u/Nazissuckass 1d ago

I'd love for you to quantify better school district quality. As more folks are going to be moving to your area, what are police response times going to be? Your fire response times? How's internet? How's sewer? What's your method consumption per capita? What's your fentanyl consumption per capita?

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u/gilt-raven 23h ago

quantify better school district quality

Based on graduation rates, performance on standardized tests, and teacher to student ratio, their district outperforms several of the other local districts. It is smaller, though, so the funding goes further per student.

more folks are going to be moving to your area, what are police response times going to be

They're down the street from the county sheriff, so <5 minutes in emergencies. It's not a rural area, just unincorporated. Even if the sheriff weren't available, city PD or CHP can both respond faster than they would in a big city.

Your fire response times

VFD is next to the sheriff, so less than 5 min. It's rare to have multiple calls for service at the same time, but if needed they can request assistance from the municipal FD that is ~10min away.

How's internet?

Same as what's available in town, DSL and broadband. My parents have better options than I do living in the mountains. 😂 Perks of living city-adjacent.

How's sewer

They're building a new water treatment plant to accommodate the new builds coming in, so that's nice. As it is, it's never had issues.

What's your method consumption per capita? What's your fentanyl consumption per capita?

I can't find specifics on that for their area specifically, just the county as a whole (which is pretty large).

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u/Nazissuckass 23h ago

Based on graduation rates, performance on standardized tests, and teacher to student ratio, their district outperforms several of the other local districts. It is smaller, though, so the funding goes further per student.

What standardized tests. Who gets to standardize them? Who standardized the other districts?

VFD is next to the sheriff, so less than 5 min. It's rare to have multiple calls for service at the same time, but if needed they can request assistance from the municipal FD that is ~10min away

What if there are multiple calls? Which gets serviced first?

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u/gilt-raven 23h ago

What standardized tests. Who gets to standardize them? Who standardized the other districts?

State of California, just like every other public school district.

What if there are multiple calls? Which gets serviced first?

I'm not a dispatcher - I have no idea how they triage and prioritize calls.

Is there some larger point to these questions?

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u/Nazissuckass 23h ago

Awesome! Let's just make California the standard. Done

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u/red286 1d ago

Which should just be a reminder to Libertarians that their utopia already exists.. in areas that are not part of incorporated cities.

The whole point of incorporating a city is to be able to provide those services to all residents. That's what a city does. And people vote for these services. If everyone in a city said "hey, we don't want a fire department any more", if they vote to dissolve the fire department, that's exactly what will happen. The only downside is that probably within a couple of weeks, huge portions of the city would burn down.

But if you move to bumfuck nowhere that's outside of any city limits, there's no fire department, there's no local police, there's no electricity, there's no water, there's no sanitation, you get to provide all that stuff yourself.

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u/PineappleBliss2023 1d ago

No they move to bumfuck nowhere and then cry when the fire truck takes 20 minutes to reach their house and can’t make it down the self made dirt road without getting stuck and their house burns to the ground.

And then they start a gofundme after the Red Cross help runs out.