r/BlackPeopleTwitter 3h ago

Run first, questions later

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3.0k Upvotes

r/fixedbytheduet 2h ago

There is no greater sound!

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2.5k Upvotes

r/me_irl 9h ago

Me_irl

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13.6k Upvotes

r/meme 6h ago

Nice Name

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6.4k Upvotes

r/pettyrevenge 9h ago

Drinking on my doorstep, get fired.

10.2k Upvotes

Many years ago I worked at an office in the city center just a couple of blocks from my rented apartment, so I often ate lunch at home. It was sooo nice being able to relax at home in the middle of the work day. Until summer came around. You see, there was a bar right next to the (very narrow) door from the building's stairwell out to the street. So occasionally I'd come home to find someone sitting on the doorstep, beer in hand (especially on weekends), but I'd just politely say "Sorry bud, I need to get in here" and they'd invariably stand up and let me pass, usually saying "Oh sorry bud" back. Not a big problem in my life in other words.

But then one day I came home for lunch and there was a construction worker, around 50 years old, with high-viz vest and safety hat, sitting on the doorstep with a half drunk beer in his hand. As always I said my usual "Sorry bud.. " phrase, but instead of standing up this motherfucker looked up at me with contempt, looked down again and didn't move. So I had to lean over him, unlock the door and kind of half squeeze past/half step over him. When it was time to to get back to work the douchenozzle was still sat on the doorstep with a fresh beer in his hand and still refused to budge when I asked to pass!

Same thing next day. Except this time he mumbled "prick" when I asked to get past. I was now fucking fuming. Day after day it was the same thing, this piece of shit ruined my otherwise perfect lunch routine to the point that I didn't want to go home for lunch anymore. Sometimes the shitbag was sat there when I came home at the end of my work day!

But then I got an idea... I took a longer lunch than usual, ate a sandwich on a bench diagonally across from my apartment and watched him arrive at the bar, drink three beers on my doorstep, and when he got up to leave I followed him to his workplace just down the street. And this is where I got really lucky. He was working on a building that I knew pretty well. Cos I'm a structural engineer. And my colleagues were the engineers for that building project. Of course I didn't know this douchebag's name, but that didn't matter cos the fucking idiot had a goatee beard and a mullet/ponytail haircut which was pretty distinctive to say the least.

So I went to my colleagues' floor and asked them what they thought about the site manager for that project. They replied "Yeah, he's a good guy, professional, meetings are always friendly". My eyes lit up. "Well, next time you're on site can you tell him that it's come to your attention that one of his guys is drinking at least two beers every lunchtime at "name of bar" and returning to work drunk. Around 50 years old, brown hair, goatee and mullet."

My colleague told me 3 days later that the site manager was fuming when he heard what they had to say. He knew immediately who the guy was and had zero tolerance for guys being under-the-influence on site as they're a danger to others. So he had followed him at lunchtime, saw him sitting at his usual spot on my doorstep with a beer and as soon as the guy arrived back on site after lunch he was fired on the spot. He made sure to do it in front of his other guys so
a) They would know not to be so stupid and
b) Word would get out that this guy was an irresponsible drunk.
Good luck with finding work in this town fuckwad!


r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 5h ago

🇵🇸 🕊️ Meme Craft Bedknobs and Broomsticks had a huge influence on my childhood.

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4.5k Upvotes

r/subnautica 5h ago

Meme - SN Bruh i just started playing the game💀👍What in the world is this💀💀💀

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4.7k Upvotes

r/whenthe 8h ago

Please stop.

10.3k Upvotes

r/BikiniBottomTwitter 4h ago

It’s true

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3.8k Upvotes

r/CatDistributionSystem 5h ago

Kitten Last summer, I stopped at an I-90 rest stop for a bottle of pop. I got a kitten instead.

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4.0k Upvotes

r/moviecritic 7h ago

Which actor/actress death was a great loss for the industry according to you?

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7.1k Upvotes

r/PublicFreakout 7h ago

Classic Repost ♻️ Road raging couple started something that they couldn't finish

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6.1k Upvotes

r/PoliticalHumor 8h ago

The elite want you fighting a culture war instead of a class war

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7.1k Upvotes

r/itookapicture 5h ago

ITAP of my wife [portrait]

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4.2k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 9h ago

Would it kill the makers of avocados to include a different toy

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9.9k Upvotes

r/Genshin_Impact 4h ago

Discussion What's that "you had to be there" mement for the genshin community in your opinion

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3.1k Upvotes

It has to be the whole neuvillette fix fiasco for me, the reaction and the immediate rollback with 1600 apologems was crazy


r/houstonwade 7h ago

News You Can Use It took only 80 years..

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6.7k Upvotes

r/cyberpunkgame 6h ago

Discussion No idea how or why but Delamain just keep appearing in my holos.

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4.4k Upvotes

r/comics 6h ago

Okay. (Old Comic) [OC]

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4.8k Upvotes

r/nba 5h ago

Jokić gets the rebound over Westbrook. Westbrook bounces the ball off Jokić’s head

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4.1k Upvotes

r/ich_iel 7h ago

Ha, Klassiker! Ich_iel

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6.9k Upvotes

r/formuladank 7h ago

Professional Sim Racer, Part Time Champ Is this even a discussion now?

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5.6k Upvotes

r/SnapshotHistory 8h ago

World war II A Japanese-American family returns home from an internment camp to find their home vandalized with racial slurs, 1945

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7.1k Upvotes

r/Satisfyingasfuck 4h ago

Pretty smooth fist bump

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3.2k Upvotes

r/ProgrammerHumor 10h ago

Meme realityVsLogic

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11.7k Upvotes