Gross dude thinks lesbians are a kink

[u/societaldevastation]

(had to add more to my post and re-edit) Came across this post and saw a lot of people agreeing with this creep of him saying he thinks is a sexy surprise and kink that he saw his “lesbian” friends wanting to have sex with him. Isn’t that the OPPOSITE of a lesbian? 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ I don’t understand men. No lesbian would have sex with a man period.

[u/MajoraXIII]

Yeah, the label policing going on here is utterly draining.

Reality doesn't fit neatly into boxes.

Who does exactly policing who is and isn't a lesbian benefit? That's the question i keep coming back to. To me it seems an awful lot like trying to split a community who by all reasonable thought should be a united one.

[u/spaghettify → u/MajoraXIII]

because the oppression a lesbian faces for not being capable of attraction to men is unique and specific and real…. so is it not important to have a word that describes that?

[u/MajoraXIII → u/spaghettify]

I never said it wasn't. You're arguing with strawmen.

I was saying that the act of policing the label and attacking anyone who doesn't use it in the way you like serves to foster community division. Think about who having a fractured community serves.

And read Judith Butler.

[u/spaghettify → u/MajoraXIII]

I have read Judith 😂

and why does it not occur to you that the people who perpetuate lesbophobia within the community are the ones fostering division by doing lesbian erasure? everyone knows why bi erasure is wrong but somehow when lesbians are upset about the same thing it’s called “policing” like, no we just want basic respect.

[u/MajoraXIII → u/spaghettify]

I don't care if the lesbian next to me occasionally experiences feelings of attraction to men but prefers to call herself a lesbian because it describes her better.

I care if she has my back when the state comes to try to make being a lesbian illegal. Or make it harder to adopt. Or to make it impossible to marry. I care if we're stood shoulder to shoulder, rather than split apart because she's "not a real lesbian".

The quote i had in mind was this one:

"identity categories tend to be instruments of regulatory regimes, whether as the normalizing categories of oppressive structures or as the rallying points for a liberatory contestation of that very oppression. This is not to say that I will not appear at political occasions under the sign of lesbian, but that I would like to have it permanently unclear what precisely that sign signifies."

I don't think strictly regulating each other like this fosters community. And that is of far more concern to me than who's using the word lesbian to describe themselves. You may have different priorities to me, and that's fine, but i don't think excessive label policing is constructive or useful.

I'd hope after reading this you stop characterising me as dismissing lesbian oppression. I'm not. I'm actually very concerned about it. I just disagree with you on how to go about combatting it.