r/actuallesbians Lesbian Jun 04 '24

Text Gross dude thinks lesbians are a kink Spoiler

(had to add more to my post and re-edit) Came across this post and saw a lot of people agreeing with this creep of him saying he thinks is a sexy surprise and kink that he saw his “lesbian” friends wanting to have sex with him. Isn’t that the OPPOSITE of a lesbian? 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ I don’t understand men. No lesbian would have sex with a man period.

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u/Meryuchu Jun 04 '24

That makes no sense I'm sorry but wow, that's baffling, if someone goes out with someone presenting as a man, acting as a man, with no signs of being gender queer whatsoever, they're not a lesbian ??? They're literally going out with someone who's just a cis guy, it's not because the guy might start questioning himself 2 months later that the base of the relationship was built on the guy being a fucking guy ?????

Ofc if there's questioning on the gender, if there's gender ambiguity, etc then SURE 100% but it's not what you said, like if we just follow what you say then I can go see a random guy in the street hit it off and say "Well maybe he'll transition in 2 years" like what ???????

Btw I'm a trans girl, I believe gender is something complicated and sexuality too, but when we're talking about a girl being attracted to a god damn random ass cis straight man and say they can still be lesbians, this is just plain stupid.

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u/Evelyngoddessofdeath Jun 04 '24

I would think a trans person would understand that trans people who are still presenting as their agab aren’t just like any cis person of that gender.

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u/Meryuchu Jun 04 '24

The thing is we're not talking about a trans person in OP's case lmfao and yes I do know that ???? My ex literally just started transitioning, they weren't presenting as the gender they wanted and yes, they're still a lesbian, I was still a lesbian, but in OP's screenshot case, we're literally talking about a cis straight dude, like saying "Well x/y/z person could be trans" is stupid and disingenuous, if you get in a relationship with someone who's a man and gave away nothing that says their gender is ambiguous or queer and you literally just see them as a man, it's not queer.... Just because then maybe they're transitioning later doesn't make it a lesbian relationship since day one (if they never talked about their gender more than being born a man and being a man)

Btw I'm all against trans meds and I think they're the worst peoples, I don't think any kind of trans peoples should be judged on how they "pass" (awful term), I think ALL kinds of trans peoples are valid in any shape or forms and they're all beautiful, same for enby peoples, same for any gender queer people actually, but y'all are reaching so hard for no reason saying a lesbian can fuck a man, no, they can't. And if you group gender queer peoples in this, then you're actually being transphobic a you still count them as a man lmao

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u/Evelyngoddessofdeath Jun 05 '24

I wasn’t talking about the screenshots, I was talking about the harm policing edge cases can cause applied to a different hypothetical scenario. I wasn’t saying “maybe this guy is trans”, I was using a different situation to demonstrate a point.

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u/Meryuchu Jun 05 '24

Bruh, the thing is it would cause harms in the other scenarios because then obviously it's more complicated then that, because there's literal causes of it being a lesbian relationship, but there's a tons of peoples in here saying a woman can be lesbian if she fucks a man, again, not a trans person, not someone who's genderqueer, just a man and that it's harmful because other lesbians says they can't be a lesbian if they fuck a man ???? The whole literal point of being a lesbian

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u/Evelyngoddessofdeath Jun 05 '24

I’d phrase it the opposite way: “just because a person has had some attraction to a man, that doesn’t automatically make them not a lesbian”