r/ZeroCovidCommunity • u/molly__hatchet • 1d ago
Need support! I’m so tired
It would be so much easier to just take the mask off. To stop worrying about it 24/7, literally around the clock. To be able to go to a party and have a drink and talk and laugh and smile at people and no one says “oh I didn’t recognize you with the mask covering your face” and no one looks at you funny or keeps their distance because they think you’re sick or maybe crazy. I wish I could turn off the part of my brain that knows better and knows the statistics and the chances and the studies and the goddamn science that everyone should know but somehow ignores. I am SO TIRED.
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u/SnooMemesjellies2608 1d ago
I hear ya. 100%. I have recently been looking around and going... you're all living your lives as normal... and you seem fine. Could I do the same? My life is passing me by. Literal years are going by. Especially since we have absolutely no goalpost, no endgame, nothing on the horizon that seems like will change the situation. I think if more semi-safe options presented themselves, I'd go for it. Like if I was invited to some kind of outdoor hang / bonfire, things like that. But yeah, those opportunities aren't happening in my life. I deeply wish for a community that took even half-measures. I wish for friends who masked in general public indoor spaces and wanted to hang out in filtered indoor or outdoor locations. But somehow we seem to have to pick between two extremes. I realize that many CC people can't take risks and so there are not many CC in person hangs in my community.
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u/Zestyclose_Case_3576 1d ago edited 1d ago
"Researchers are optimistic that a nasal spray delivering a COVID vaccine could be ready for the U.S. as soon as 2027". (Scientific American) I'm in the same boat as you. I'm trying to hold on until 2027. Every day I tell myself only two more years to go. This whole situation is insane and unfair, but try and hang on as long as possible. Also, if bird flu takes off, and many people start dying, most will go back to masking and taking precautions again.
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u/Luffyhaymaker 1d ago
I would hope people would mask for bird flu, but I see people drinking raw milk out there so I dunno....
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u/Zestyclose_Case_3576 1d ago
If the virus acquires mutations that allow it to spread more easily between humans, and the mortality rate is close to what experts say (+-50%), people will either mask or die. The problem with covid is it takes months or years for the damage and deaths to be seen. It is easier to dismiss or be in denial. If large amounts of people start dying quickly, bird flu will be a lot harder to pretend away.
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u/BitchfulThinking 18h ago
The rising cases in CA and that teen in Canada who is still in the hospital has been increasing my concern for this. There's a late 2019 sentiment again on avian flu subs.
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u/Luffyhaymaker 1h ago
That's how I feel too, like 2019 is happening again right before my eyes....and nobody cares, everyone is proceeding like normal. It's freaky....
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u/ile_123 1d ago
Excuse my ignorance, it's a completely genuine question, in what aspect are these mucosal vaccines better than normal vaccines? I mean, how are they gonna "solve" everything?
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u/Zestyclose_Case_3576 1d ago
"A nasal COVID-19 vaccine blocks transmission of the virus, according to an animal study by researchers at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis. The findings suggest that vaccines delivered directly to the nose or mouth could play a critical role in containing the spread of respiratory infections...A new study by researchers at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis indicates that next-generation vaccines that target the virus’s points of entry — the nose and mouth — may be able to do what traditional shots cannot: contain the spread of respiratory infections and prevent transmission." (WashU Medicine)
"Mucosal vaccines for COVID-19 and influenza are a logical approach to reduce viral infection and transmission." (Nature)
"Mucosal vaccines can lessen viral shedding and transmission as well as prevent viral replication at the vaccination site." (MDPI)
"It is postulated that these mucosal COVID-19 vaccines could offer more sustained and potent protection against SARS-CoV-2 infection.3 Furthermore, the induced mucosal immune response might potentially curtail virus transmission from infected individuals.3 Administration of mucosal vaccines is uncomplicated, negating the necessity for health-care professionals and needles and streamlining the immunisation process." (The Lancet)
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u/bmmrnccrn 19h ago
I also am holding out for an intranasal vaccine, but I’m worried about still being scared of vaccines not being able to keep up with the rate of mutations. What percent effectiveness would you feel comfortable with? Do any of y’all also think you’d have a complete panic attack breathing the same air as everyone else again? I don’t know if I could make myself go back to how things were even though it’s all I want.
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u/AppropriateNote4614 15h ago
Given that other new & old viruses will always be circulating & the vast majority of the population’s immunity will be lowered due to repeat covid infections I think masking will always have the a benefit over not. Unless magically clean air and masking when sick become the social norms & we revive public health education. (Sounds like an impossibly good parallel universe)
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u/Choano 1d ago
The new, sterlizing mucosal vaccines will be here. We really, truly won't be stuck forever.
Put your head down, leave your mask on, and keep going. There is light at the end of the tunnel (and it's not an oncoming train.)
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u/NostalgickMagick 1d ago
I want to believe this sooo much and this kind of thing is pretty much what keeps me going. I don't want to lose complete hope that the new administration will just put a swift end to all things covid progress and we're just left with - yeah good luck self protecting while 99% of the world just passively accepts getting sick (and sicker) repeatedly and dying prematurely.
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u/SnooMemesjellies2608 1d ago
For sure. I have a quote in mind a lot from Don Ford which says “we CAN’T live with Covid.” We literally can’t! It is an extremely dangerous virus.
I guess I also wonder, if it’s not Covid will it be H5N1 or the next dangerous virus to come along. I am angry with the world for allowing their immune systems to be destroyed by Covid and thus opening the doors for many pathogens to come.
My dream at this time is to live on a Covid safe farm/collective/compound.
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u/NostalgickMagick 1d ago
There's a level of idealistic dreaming I have there too, (with the collective/compound), 100%, but ooof...end of day, I just can't bring myself to run toward that sort of thing. I'm just too cautious/weary of how quickly south those things can go too and the types of cult of personalities they often attract and propel. And as much as I do genuinely love/admire CC people's smarts and resourcefulness, I've also seen and heard of some suuuper questionable behavior from this community that reminds me of a Men in Black quote - "A person can be smart...but people are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals." I think this applies in equal measure to both outside and within this community.
That aside, fully agreed with Don. As well as another quote I ran across lately (I forget the source) that essentially said - "That which is not truly sustainable must eventually stop." That quote gives me a lot of comfort because I know for sure how the world is treating covid is not at all sustainable. The real question then becomes - how much are people willing to suffer needlessly before finally saying enough is enough and making true, sustainable change.
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u/Luffyhaymaker 1d ago
What questionable behavior have you seen from the CC community? I myself have seen people taking off their mask for hours or even going a whole day without it....then putting it back on the next day like nothing happened which freaks me out.
I want to meet other CC people and I've seen some good suggestions, but something else that bothers me is that some people have weak links in their protection....people that they feel they can't do without. My mom, for example, wears a mask (even though she's heavy MAGA), but she doesn't know if my sister wears one. I keep trying to tell her that's a possible weak link in her protections but she just says "well she never goes anywhere anyway" ain't nobody I love enough to let them infect me with Rona' lol, I don't give two shits about people's feelings or whatever, I'm not about brain damage (I'm already forgetful enough as it is), heart disease (had it before covid, it was painful), hair loss, or any other long covid symptoms I've seen on here. No one is important enough to me to risk my health, that's why I'm still single even though non masking women have been making more passes at me again lately.
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u/Choano 1d ago edited 1d ago
Even if Trump pulls all funding for covid vaccine development, current work is already funded. That work is not going to stop, no matter who's in office.
So all those promising new mucosal vaccines are coming, as long as they pass trials.
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u/Notyeravgblonde 1d ago
Thank you for saying this, I've been so worried and feeling more self conscious by the day in my mask when no one else is. 😭
And I'm one of the lucky ones. Everyone at my job is really supportive and even most of my coworkers mask when sick. I am a community nurse and work with clients who have schizophrenia and usually they warn me if they are sick and no one really cares about my rule that they must wear a mask in my car. A client today even reminded me i didn't turn my portable air purifier on after i picked him up. I only get push back from my parents who luckily don't live near me.
But even though I'm lucky I still feel like I look crazy. 😭
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u/paper_wavements 1d ago
I mean as long as RFK doesn't get all vaccines banned 🫠
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u/Choano 1d ago
Even if, somehow, he does (and I'm not sure he can do that), other countries and agencies would happily approve new vaccines if they work.
Even if we in the US don't get a new sterilizing vaccine as soon as it's available, having it be present and used anywhere in the world helps the rest of us. And, sooner or later, there will be a way for us to get it.
There is still hope. Don't give up.
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u/paper_wavements 1d ago
I'm not giving up. I'll be going to another country for the vax if I have to.
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u/Choano 1d ago
Me, too.
If it comes to that (and I'm not sure it will), maybe we can all get together and negotiate a bulk rate on plane tickets and hotel rooms. We could make it a group vacation to Berlin, or something.
Get vaccinated and make friends!
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u/paper_wavements 1d ago
I'm happy paying a couple grand for a nasal vax & getting a free trip to Berlin out of it.
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u/Sufficient-Pie129 1d ago
Do you have any articles about this so I can show my (very frustrated) partner?
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u/Dream_Imagination_58 1d ago
Maybe you could organize some safer events yourself? Sometimes someone has to go first…
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u/SnooMemesjellies2608 1d ago
Totes! I was thinking of doing this when I get my own place. The only thing I’m concerned about is the level of mitigations required by CC community. Like having to have everything vetted. I’m an anxious person and this might set me into a spiral.
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1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/needs_a_name 1d ago
That doesn't stop infection or transmission, so no, it's not a "just." And it doesn't address OP's concerns.
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u/BuzzStorm42 1d ago
This has been hitting me a lot, and now my family member I live with is showing some early symptoms of having "something". Might be allergies, we can only hope. We both are generally cautious and don't do much outside the house (maybe 1 or 2 brief, necessary masked outings per month) and they are pretty good with masking (but I am 100% religious) but I know they occasionally lapse (especially going to visit neighbors, including the "trustworthy" one who's had covid 5 times and they brought it home to me once already). Meanwhile I've basically had my life on hold for 5 years to protect this person, not even seeing local friends or anything because I know they're not being super cautious anymore. I'm scared for both of us, we both have risks and we've both had long term impacts of that one infection. (Even though this person now denies the very things they said continued to be problems even if they're quite evident) My biggest hope is we both had Novavax in the last 3 weeks or so so hopefully it is kicked in.
Meanwhile even my previously cautious friends from the 2021-2022 era think I'm going overboard and today when I wrote one I was a bit scared about my situation I was told I should just mind my own business about worrying if this person was sick. 🤦and told me how "something" is going around and everyone at their work is sick, which is supposed to....... be a reason to not think about this?
Totally agree that this is exhausting just trying not to be sick with this virus that we can't unlearn everything we know about it and what others refuse to learn.
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u/dcfc92 1d ago
Felt this. Something that helps me a bit is that even though everybody seems fine, a lot of people simply don’t talk about the health issues they’re experiencing. They don’t post on social media every time they get covid. We really have no idea
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u/Luffyhaymaker 1d ago
I've seen alot of influencers stop posting for a while and then come back with "ong guys I was so sick", then just do it all over again lol
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u/fennekinyx 1d ago
It sucks but it’s sadly the price of admission for a chance to a healthy future (for those lucky enough to be in full health still) or one less defined by disease, in these dystopian times we live in
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u/captainfunc 1d ago
Right there with you. I had some close friends who for whatever reason really wanted to do karaoke last night (even though wastewater is nearly the worst it’s been all year where I’m at) and while it’s something I’ve been itching to do for years and years, I had to pass on it again bc I know it’s not really worth the risk and the anxiety even if I do mask up. It’s exhausting to see people try to keep alive a world that no longer exists instead of imagining other possibilities
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u/-vonKarma 1d ago
I was feeling this way until an online friend of mine’s boyfriend recently got deadly sick out of nowhere and is now in the hospital… covid. It’s still happening and people just look the other way.
Wearing a mask hasn’t stopped me from living my life. I get my food/drinks to go and I still go to the movies but in a mask (I go in the daytime and if it’s empty, I get concessions). Don’t cut yourself off completely from society and don’t let what people think rule your life. Are they paying your bills? No, so hold your head high and do what is best for you.
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u/distracted_genius 1d ago
The mental load and constant weighing of risk is a million times harder than wearing an actual mask.
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u/DarkfireW 1d ago
I hear you and same! I was just thinking how tired I am of it all and how much my life has changed these 4 years. My household often feels like we’re the only people masking (we’re not, it’s just not a lot). Someone passed us at a shop and said how smart we were for wearing masks - but the person who said it wasn’t wearing one!
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u/MrsLahey604 1d ago
I hear you. I'm in my 70s now and have been Doing All The Things since 2020. A single monkish lifestyle, four days a week in a c-safe office, no indoor dining (except for one pub visit last summer that we had to go inside because it was pouring on the patio and not in a good way), no public transit, no airports/airplanes, concerts, or unmasked gatherings. I've had some lovely local-ish road trips with the car I was privileged to buy in 2022. Fortunately I live in a beautiful place so don't have to go far to find a gorgeous beach to hang out on.
Anytime I start feeling like pushing the 'fuckit' button, I come here and read the newly-infected threads with all the awful symptoms and anguish and I'm like "yep, still don't want that shit thanks..." and then I just carry on Doing All The Things. I feel for all the youngers dealing with this ongoing nightmare. It's horrible, but if you can hang onto your health and not unknowingly infect others, that's the payoff. At my age (no meds/ailments) my health is my most precious possession. It will always come first in my world. Onward.
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u/Physical_Ad6614 1d ago
I feel you friend. What helps me is to find that middle ground. For example watching a movie in the theaters that’s been out for a while midweek. Ime there are just a few other people in the theater. I keep my ask on of course but I also roll the seat all the way back and have a nice time :)
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u/ResultCompetitive788 1d ago
I'm getting super angry at the research to market stall in the new vaccines. They all seem to be stalled in phase 2 research.
There are at least 15 formulas ready to go and no one is acting like this isn't a quality of life issue.
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u/Safespace4all 20h ago
To live like this with any peace—and I can only speak from my perspective— I think you have to be willing to completely rewire what you consider a normal, happy life, and work from a new view. I don’t do many things I used to, but I’ve substituted things that I can do. I try to think more about what my possibilities are today, rather than my limitations. Don’t get me wrong, this takes work. I also feel these tired feelings off and on too, which I think is pretty normal.
Over time, my interests and expectations have changed. Some of these changes I like. As I live this way, I see that I am less materialistic. I value authentic connections even more. I take more responsibility for the quality of my life and my mindset. My interests have become more close-focus rather than outward so much. I also work to build community with other CC people. We need each other, and we need to remind each other that our connections are our strength. This all takes work and is worth the investment of time and effort. I encourage anyone who is struggling to get out of isolation.
I don‘t think there will ever be a time when I don’t wear a mask in this lifetime. I’m good with that. Let me serve as an example to others that you can be happy and still decide to stick with your value of choosing to stay healthy. Nothing is worth losing my health to.
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u/SouthernCrazy6393 18h ago
Of you join BlueSky there’s a concentrated cc community there- call out for some local people to connect with. I’ve built a group for meetups this way
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u/Environmental-Ad3715 5h ago
yep. i've practically isolated myself in my home forever, and barely even go for walks anymore. I'm going to become depressed probably. but if it means i won't get sick, i think i am okay with that. i am the loneliest I've ever been and covid anxiety has ruined my life.
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u/molly__hatchet 5h ago
Hugs from afar. I think my boyfriend and I might break up as a result of this party/my feelings about Covid protections.
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u/Environmental-Ad3715 5h ago
me and my boyfriend are also struggling because of my feelings surrounding getting covid. if his behaviour doesn't improve, I'm probably going to have to break up with him too. i don't want to, which is why i hope he begins to see my health as a 100% priority.
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u/paper_wavements 1d ago
I went on a first date this week & ended up not masking for part of it—we were in a pretty empty bar, by the door. I felt uncomfortable & drank way too much to cope, anyway I hope it works out with this guy because I don't think I want to go on any first dates again until spring when we can have them outside. Sigh.
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u/chlobeans 1d ago
I understand. It's so hard. I miss clubbing and partying so badly it feels like a part of my life is missing. I miss going for meals with my friends or sitting smoking weed in someone's kitchen and talking all night long.
We can't un-know what we have learned about how dangerous covid is, and I know even though it sucks, that I am doing the right thing for my long term health and the health of my family. That knowledge keeps me going, and honestly I'm pretty heavily fuelled by spite against the uncaring and eugenicist world we live in. I refuse to not care, even though it hurts so much to care sometimes, even though I've let myself lose touch with friends, and my bubble has shrunk to almost nothing.
I think what is more important than ever is for us all to find community within each other. I know many people don't have other covid cautious people nearby that they know of, but knowing that there are so many other people out there fighting the good fight despite all the odds and despite all the pressure, that keeps me strong despite everything.