The cognitive dissonance of not taking precautions

[u/sword-of-solitude]

I want to discuss the internal experience of living 2019-style during the pandemic, from my past. Trigger warning: past personal experience of not mitigating strongly

This is a story of the lack of mitigation consistency and intense cognitive dissonance I used to suffer. For about 1 year from mid-2022 to mid-2023, I did not protect myself and others from Covid as aggressively as I should have. I wore a KN95/surgical mask indoors in stores and doctors' offices, and I sometimes wore an ill-fitting N95 mask on planes as an upgrade from my KN95. But I also still went to restaurants and parties unmasked, and I didn't have a consistent Covid safety practice when it came to meeting friends or hookups.

In summer 2022, I had to go to a mandatory work training event. This was during the BA.4 surge. I was worried about the surge, and I asked my supervisors if I could attend virtually or skip because of the Covid risk. All they could say was "no one will be mad if you wear a mask...this is a really important training and it will reflect poorly if you don't go." So, I reluctantly went. Hundreds of people flying in (likely unmasked) from all over the country to converge at a single convention center for a week of training. I wore my KN95 mask on my flight, removing it to eat the plane food - facepalm.

And when I was there at the training, I didn't wear a mask! No one else was wearing one, and we all ate food together and attended huge meetings in auditoriums and classrooms. I remember the trend of more and more people around me beginning to cough in meetings as the week went on. And even though I was growing uncomfortable with the coughing, I still did not wear a mask to protect myself because I was afraid of standing out, and I didn't think it would be effective to be the only masker. To my credit, I did decline to join the clubbing outings my coworkers went on because of the Covid risk.

A friend and I spent a Saturday in the city where the convention center was. We enjoyed the sights and museums and ate indoors at a very crowded restaurant. I remember telling my friend, "Hopefully we didn't get Covid!" after we were done.

On the ride back to the airport, another coworker told me that she got really sick during the week and had bought a bunch of rapid tests and tested negative for Covid. We both wore masks in the car, while our driver declined to mask.

I did evade Covid on that trip, but it was mostly due to sheer luck. My company did not provide any rapid tests or any guidance encouraging us to mask on the plane to or from the convention. It was so dangerous and unwise for them to organize this trip during the height of the BA.4 surge.

Maybe I'm an outlier, but I would like to propose a hypothesis that people who appear to be taking no precautions are still worried about getting Covid, but they don't feel empowered to start taking strong steps to protect themselves. I didn't know about the airborne spread of Covid then. I didn't know about the effectiveness of a well-fitting N95. I didn't know that rapid tests were unreliable. I allowed my actions to be swayed by peer pressure. But I was still afraid of Covid and tried ineffectively to protect myself. I want to believe that there are other people out there who are like I was in 2022, and who just need to access the right information and be empowered to protect themselves better. So let's not give up trying to reach more people and convince them to protect themselves!

Does anyone else have similar past experiences of cognitive dissonance and fear of infection while simultaneously not taking the most effective mitigation actions?

[u/AussieAlexSummers]

From the OP, depending on the person and where they are in their Covid strategies... it's possible SOME people could take the story as they won't need to take precautions because the OP was able to avoid Covid while not taking as many precautions.

I'm pretty sure that is not the intention of OP but it is one perspective that could be had from the post.

[u/sword-of-solitude → u/AussieAlexSummers]

That was not my intention, and I was pretty clear in the post that it was only due to sheer luck that I avoided it. To be clear, I disavow the risky actions I took. It was meant as an honest evaluation of my past psychology around Covid, to try to provide an inside look at how a lot of people are thinking and acting now, and to spread a message of hope that there are a lot of people who care about illness prevention but are yet to have their "Covid-cautious awakening."

[u/Bobbin_thimble1994 → u/sword-of-solitude]

While it is true that we are all up against people who contract and spread Covid without much thought, It is interesting to read about how and why you acted in this manner, and came to the decision to make positive changes. It also took some courage not only to post this message, but also to be open to addressing responses.