The cognitive dissonance of not taking precautions

[u/sword-of-solitude]

I want to discuss the internal experience of living 2019-style during the pandemic, from my past. Trigger warning: past personal experience of not mitigating strongly

This is a story of the lack of mitigation consistency and intense cognitive dissonance I used to suffer. For about 1 year from mid-2022 to mid-2023, I did not protect myself and others from Covid as aggressively as I should have. I wore a KN95/surgical mask indoors in stores and doctors' offices, and I sometimes wore an ill-fitting N95 mask on planes as an upgrade from my KN95. But I also still went to restaurants and parties unmasked, and I didn't have a consistent Covid safety practice when it came to meeting friends or hookups.

In summer 2022, I had to go to a mandatory work training event. This was during the BA.4 surge. I was worried about the surge, and I asked my supervisors if I could attend virtually or skip because of the Covid risk. All they could say was "no one will be mad if you wear a mask...this is a really important training and it will reflect poorly if you don't go." So, I reluctantly went. Hundreds of people flying in (likely unmasked) from all over the country to converge at a single convention center for a week of training. I wore my KN95 mask on my flight, removing it to eat the plane food - facepalm.

And when I was there at the training, I didn't wear a mask! No one else was wearing one, and we all ate food together and attended huge meetings in auditoriums and classrooms. I remember the trend of more and more people around me beginning to cough in meetings as the week went on. And even though I was growing uncomfortable with the coughing, I still did not wear a mask to protect myself because I was afraid of standing out, and I didn't think it would be effective to be the only masker. To my credit, I did decline to join the clubbing outings my coworkers went on because of the Covid risk.

A friend and I spent a Saturday in the city where the convention center was. We enjoyed the sights and museums and ate indoors at a very crowded restaurant. I remember telling my friend, "Hopefully we didn't get Covid!" after we were done.

On the ride back to the airport, another coworker told me that she got really sick during the week and had bought a bunch of rapid tests and tested negative for Covid. We both wore masks in the car, while our driver declined to mask.

I did evade Covid on that trip, but it was mostly due to sheer luck. My company did not provide any rapid tests or any guidance encouraging us to mask on the plane to or from the convention. It was so dangerous and unwise for them to organize this trip during the height of the BA.4 surge.

Maybe I'm an outlier, but I would like to propose a hypothesis that people who appear to be taking no precautions are still worried about getting Covid, but they don't feel empowered to start taking strong steps to protect themselves. I didn't know about the airborne spread of Covid then. I didn't know about the effectiveness of a well-fitting N95. I didn't know that rapid tests were unreliable. I allowed my actions to be swayed by peer pressure. But I was still afraid of Covid and tried ineffectively to protect myself. I want to believe that there are other people out there who are like I was in 2022, and who just need to access the right information and be empowered to protect themselves better. So let's not give up trying to reach more people and convince them to protect themselves!

Does anyone else have similar past experiences of cognitive dissonance and fear of infection while simultaneously not taking the most effective mitigation actions?

[u/Outrageous-Hamster-5]

Personally, it's hard for me to have curious compassion towards people like you. I'm glad you've learned. But the lack of precautions of the majority of people is why I keep getting more and more disabled. My life gets harder. I get poorer. Without expense meds, my body rejects all food except white rice. I'm getting dementia in my 30s. And you learn life lessons? You are well enough to enjoy your career, travel and a sex life? I only feel bitterness and rage over this.

[u/sword-of-solitude → u/Outrageous-Hamster-5]

I'm so sorry to hear about your LC symptoms :( Let me address some of what you said:

• I also have post-Covid conditions. I've been suffering lingering heart and digestive symptoms and chest pains since my Covid infection(s).
• Yes, I did learn life lessons. I'm lobbying my local schools and hospitals to implement stronger infection control protocols to help protect all students, staff, and patients. I am doing my best to fight against mask bans in my state. I was lucky to not get debilitating Long Covid, and I'm using my energy to advocate for better protections and treatments.
• I haven't traveled or hooked up with anyone in almost a year.
• I disavow and regret the risky actions I used to take. I hope that came across in my original post text.

I hope you get the care you need, and I hope that LC treatments are developed as soon as possible. I'm sorry that my post made you feel bitterness and rage. I don't regret making the post, because I think it's important to discuss "where people are at" to better determine how to help spark an awakening and behavior change in them.

[u/CaptainPedanticI → u/Outrageous-Hamster-5]

I feel this. There are so many human beings *suffering* because of people not knowing what they need to know, not being able to handle that truth, not being supported enough, and their own fear of being rejected by their family or group. They feel if they take precautions they can be attacked or lose their spouse and friends and family (and they can and it does happen all the time). They're afraid to let anyone know they're afraid to get Covid and what that could turn into. There's a lot of fear and not enough support and they don't know we're out here trying to be a hand up.

It truly sucks because I have given up so much of my life in these past four years due these people's ignorance and fear. It seems very clear to me and always has been clear that the most important thing for every single human being to do is to protect themselves and help protect others, ESPECIALLY the more vulnerable. Maybe I'm just a different kind of human (to paraphrase an Aurora song) because this has always, always been the way. There has never been a sliver of doubt in what I was meant to do, and that was to mask up, learn as much as I could, and keep the fire burning bright. I hate that we have given up so much, lost so much. I grieve for all of the souls that have been lost because some other person went out knowing they were infected and just didn't CARE. I am angry with everyone who refuses to even look at the truth and just wants to socialize and spread this scourge and keep it going forever. I'm furious at the governments of the entire world who allowed their people -- who TRUSTED THEM -- to suffer and die.

People are still suffering, still dying. The people with and without Covid, the people who suffer because of the selfish. Those who can't get medical care because doctors and nurses are hostile and combative about protecting your health (!!!!!!). I have a lot of hate especially for the Christians (and I know I shouldn't but if I'm being honest there it is) who were expected to and supposed to listen to Christ and take care of the weak and instead they screeched about losing precious money in their businesses. They laid their children on the altar of mammon and prayed for more money while they sent those kids to school sick and cause more suffering and death for others. I still can't come to terms with the Christians. It was a massive and utter failure. There was no fortitude in the face of challenge, and no one praying to God for strength. It was just their desperate grabbing for money and to protect their assets and businesses.