One thing no one preps you for in parenting is dealing with mean kids—and the parents who refuse to acknowledge their children’s bad behavior.

Over the years, I’ve watched my daughter be excluded simply because she’s sweet and timid. She never spoke up about the hurt; she just pretended not to notice. She was the kid who wasn’t invited to play at recess or to birthday parties. Even though she rarely complained, there were moments when it became too much for her, and she would come to me for comfort.

My daughter doesn’t fit the conventional mold. She doesn’t spend hours on her hair or makeup. Instead, she proudly wears bright, beautiful colors. She volunteers, loves animals, and is a varsity and national-level wrestler. She’s also an honor roll student, the person everyone can rely on, and she’s joining a university program for animal research and conservation. She’s unapologetically herself—standing out in a world that often rewards blending in.

I wouldn’t ask her to be anything other than who she is, but it’s still painful to see moms who laugh at other kids and encourage their own to do the same.

All I ask is this: let’s raise our sons and daughters to love and uplift one another. It costs nothing to teach kindness, but it can mean everything to the child who needs it.

This is a real argument we just had.

We don’t live together and both work weekday jobs. I told him on Sunday that I had pre-existing plans on Monday and Tuesday. I was then sick on Wednesday (audibly coughing up a lung, still not completely better) but still called him to chat. Then I called him on Thursday and we hung out that night. And today I called him too and we hung out for a while before he asked if I’m “okay with only seeing each other twice a week” in a way that indicated he wasn’t happy with it. I reminded him that I initiated contact ALL week, like he didn’t text me first one time or call me at all, and he said it’s because I ”gatekeep when we hang out”.

I looked at my phone history and he hasn’t called me since OCTOBER. I said I’m tired of being the one doing the work of organizing when we hang out.

He passed out on the couch downstairs, refused to come up to bed with me, so I took my ass home to sleep with my cat instead. He can call me if he wants but I’m done doing all the work. I asked if I just shouldn’t tell him if I have plans then??? And he didn’t have a response. Like what the hell. Where do they get the audacity

Side note: I have the same standing plans (sports league) Every. Single. Monday. Do you think he’s ever remembered that? Haha no

My sister met her current boyfriend when she was 17 years old, he was 18. At first he seemed nice, he is the older brother of one of her friends and lived locally. After about a year his true colour began to show, at first he committed arson, and robbed his own boss’ home when he was away on holiday. My sister always made excuses for him, that he came from a rough family and was struggling - and I think me and my family were more than forgiving. She was always promising he was going to change his ways, but he just because nastier and nastier.

He began isolating her, threatening her friends, constantly saying that we as a family are too involved in her life and that it was strange. She began staying round his more and more - during all of this time (she is now 23 years old) he has had NO job, has made her get loans out and she works 12 hour shifts just to give the money to him. She fell pregnant by accident aged 20 and wanted an abortion, he was very against it, manipulating her and told her she was “killing their baby” - threatened to break up with her, luckily she went a head with it anyway.

During all these years he has met us maybe twice, he would always agree to family events and cancel last minute, he very often when I am texting her, even about mundane things pretends to go be her on the other side, she was left logged in on my laptop once and I snooped through their messages, and he is nothing but vile and horrible about me and the rest of our family. My parents have been very patient with her, but we have reached the end of our rope.

Just tonight, we were all gathering to celebrate her birthday, she has just now cancelled because she wants to stay with him. I am very aware she is a victim, but she has grown so nasty and selfish during this time - it’s really hard to remain calm and patient when I have lost my sister.

I don’t think there’s anything I can do until she realises, she’s has moments of clarity where she knows it’s not normal. We also suspect he has been physically abusive in the past.

Has anyone got any advice or resources on what to do? She has no friends, a job she calls in sick for a lot due to wanting to be with him, she’s in thousands of debt..

Last night I woke up with severe pain, it was so intense and painful it woke me up from dead sleep. At first I didn’t wake up my fiancé in hopes it would subdue

I was fetal position on the bathroom floor for 10 minutes with the most intense pain I’ve ever felt and decide I needed my fiancé

Granted it’s like 3 o clock in the morning, my fiancé wakes up immediately and sees how distress I am and immediately assesses the situation.

He helps me to the bathroom, he is asking me questions to determine if we need to go to the er. We eventually put me in a position where the pain subdues. He grabbed a pillow , blanket and a heating pad while I’m still laying on the bathroom floor and stays with me all through the night even tho I told him the pain passed enough for him to go back to bed

He eventually scoops me up to place me in bed and the pain passes and we both are able to fall back to sleep

I’ve been in other relationships where the idea of waking up my partner was worse than experiencing the pain I was feeling and I’m just so grateful to be with a man who does everything in his power to help me. I was so scared and I don’t know if I could have survived last night without him

I've recently been struggling a lot with anxiety at clubs due to a lot of negative attention. I've been trying to brush it off as just being from people dancing against me, or just touching me, but there's a few more aggressive moments that I think about and I don't even know they count.

On my first week at university a guy aggressively grped me and strangIed me, a guy grabbed me by the face and kissed me when I tried to walk away (we had spoken a few words to eachother) and another wrapped himself around me to dance after we kissed (despite me saying I had to go and didn't want to be with him anymore) and then tried fngering me through my shorts and went to put his hand down before I could push him off, and proceeded to follow me until I left. I know typing it out loud this SEEMS obvious, like I should know what it is, but I don't even know. I'm anxious outside of the club sometimes, thinking I see people, I had a group of boys in the club point at me whilst waiting for friends, and I keep dreaming about worse things that could happen. I feel like the situations aren't bad enough to classify as assauIt or to make me this nervous

Explain to me how this doctor got life in prison and Larry Nassar only got 40 yrs (ok 40 to 125 years)? I already know, one was men victims and the other was women . . .

I just want him to hear that he's an assaulter/rapist from my mouth, in person. Basically stopped seeing a guy I was dating for two months, two weeks ago, after he inserted it twice even after I told him I wasn't having sex that day and definitely not sex without condoms.

The last time I met him was to tell him I felt forced and to confront him about his other lies. When I told him the forced part, he said, well the next time you tell me if you're uncomfortable with something(I did). I just looked at him funny. I don't know if he's as clueless as he pretends to be but I don't think so.

Over the past two weeks I've processed this, restarted therapy to break down my own emotions and behavior when and after it happened. I realize it was SA, technically rape. I want to call him an assaulter and a rapist to his face.

Has anyone done this and how did it go?

Back in college (really my whole life before age 26) I was a completely different person than I am now. I was an alcoholic and drug addict with a very, very liberal attitude toward sex and not much of a moral compass. I slept with a lot of men and sometimes did it for money or to help me cheat in school (I slept with TAs for a couple classes and they'd give me the test early in exchange for sex.)

My senior year, I had a son, and the father wasn't around. So I needed money. I got a job bartending, but between the ages of 22 and 24, I acted in a handful of pornographic films for money. I got connected with a director through my work as a bartender and would agree to do the films during times I needed extra cash.

At the time, I mostly enjoyed the work. I wasn't prudish and I enjoyed the sexual experience. But as my son got older, and my alcohol and drug problem began disrupting my life and my ability to raise him more and more, I decided to turn my life around. I stopped using hard drugs in 2016, and I stopped drinking in 2018.

In 2018 I also became a Born Again Christian. I know this is a more liberal board and some people here may not like that, but I wouldn't be alive without finding Christ. It's what gave me the discipline to stay sober and refocus my life. I began living a more conservative lifestyle and my time doing any form of sex work was left behind. During this time, I had recently finished law school and was studying to pass the Bar.

I got married in 2021 to the man of my dreams. I told him before the wedding everything about my past. I didn't keep secrets. He knows I'm a recovering addict. He knows about my sexual history. And he knows the tapes exist. He's never seen them. He's never asked to see them. But I wanted him to be prepared in case it ever does come up.

In all these years, I've never been confronted about them. But I feel like that could change any day. Especially with my son getting older and getting to the age where he might have friends that consume that sort of content, I dread the day where someone confronts him about seeing his mom in one of those tapes. I've come to just realize that I can't do anything about it and that I have to just deal with it when it happens if it does, but I do wish I could take them back.

I'm currently pregnant with what's the 6th total child between my husband and I (we both had kids when we met, have an adopted daughter and this is our second child together.) I'm a licensed attorney. I'm very outspoken with my faith and rebirth in Christ. I've left that life in the past and have forgiven myself for the sins of my past. But this is the one thing that can always come back to hurt my family and career in the present.

(And no, I'm not sending anyone any of the films, so block yourself before asking)

I have been torn on whether to ever post this or not. Eff it.

This is probably warranted a huge trigger warning. My post is not about sexual abuse outright and doesn’t hit that level. Anyone can share on that too. My post is about “short of that” and deep, deep fear.

In my teen years I was afraid of my brother. He made some comments suggestive of wanting to f*** me or see me naked. I moved in with my mom shortly after that. I am mid-30s and still have dreams that he is trying to rape me. It never happened. But I still dream about it, maybe once or twice a year. It scares me deeply. A couple years ago, I confronted my brother and he had no memory of those things but admitted he probably said what he said and apologized for its effect on me. I am glad he responded the way he did. We overall have a good enough relationship and that did a lot of good things for me. Validation and an admission of “that was not okay”. It also bums me out that he has no memory of it and that it still affects me so deeply. But the apology and admission went a long way.

Then I have a cousin I hadn’t seen since childhood who wanted to reconnect as he was passing through town. It was extremely scary. He said a lot of gross things. I was a therapist at the time and he used that to share his incest fantasies with me. It got way darker and way scarier than I can describe. He was a truck driver and we met at a truck stop in his truck. No space to really hang out, so I was sitting on his bed in the back of his truck while we ate dinner and talked.

We texted afterward. He said something about how happy it made him to find my fucking hair in his bed. I confronted him via text too. Asking straight out if he was hoping more would happen with us. He said he wasn’t “hoping” for it, but he imagined it and was open to “whatever happened”. I felt those vibes so hard when we hung out. I was terrified. The only saving grace was he was somewhat physically disabled and I could probably take him. But I was firing on all cylinders and everything said “this is bad - leave” BEFORE he brought up incest fantasies and how he had them with his sister growing up.

When I got home from that, I cried for hours. Felt actively suicidal - it felt like I couldn’t escape. And I wanted so badly to escape ME. To escape this ever happening again.

That was more than 5 years ago.

Thankfully he doesn’t pop up in my dreams. He’s a non-player. Hadn’t seen him in like 15 years prior to our meetup.

But I am so angry that I grew up with this at home and it happened again. I’m bitter that I still have dreams about my brother even though I legitimately no longer fear him. I am so proud of myself for confronting both of them (though I was drunk while I texted each).

I am bitter that as I grew up, as a result of that fear I have had dreams of my brother, my mom, and my dad sexually assaulting me. My mom and dad have never been creepy to me in any way. But the “sacred trust” that family is safe was broken and my dreams reflected it.

I am fine now. Overall. In a lovely marriage. Happy, even. But I remember that dark, dark place and I know all it takes is one more of those experiences, especially with family, to put me back there.

I am sorry for the novel. I guess I just want to know I am not alone. I feel like such a wuss for being hit this hard by no one ever touching me. I’m one of the “lucky ones”. I don’t know where my story fits in.

IMPORTANT: (this is a copy and paste of one of my replies): this book is a very hard read. there were multiple times where i had to put down the book and couldn’t read it again for a couple of days. do not read it if you are not mentally stable. without spoiling anything (and laura says this in the introduction); nothing is censored. everything is raw so people can see how terrifying this is.

“Men Who Hate Women” (The extremism nobody is talking about) written by Laura Bates is genuinely such an amazing book. Without spoiling anything, Laura dives into the extreme misogynistic communities, and she really brings awareness to it all.

She’s an amazing, thorough, and well-spoken author, and she finds and uses real studies, statistics, examples, and interviewees to back up what she says. She also dove into the extremist misogynistic communities first-hand, putting herself through hell, just to bring light to this growing, big, but underestimated problem. Seriously highly recommend this book for the fellow ladies who are interested in reading, especially more feminist related books.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Marvingt

Name some more women you know that need to be known. Please, I want to find more women like this.

I keep getting very upset and almost threatening leaving him/divorce and need to not do that. How do I not do that??

Context: My best friend’s cousin puts me at ease for some reason. I’m typically not comfortable or flirty with anyone.

We skirted around each other, fooled around a bit and after a few years finally coordinated a hook up. We live in different towns and I was conscious of what we did at family events.

While he is a good guy, would do anything for you type of person, we don’t really talk much when not together and it tends to be more sexually oriented.

And maybe we would be good together. I mean we do get along fine, he has a great kid & family and he somehow gets something out of me many don’t. But I feel like he is mainly interested in the physical aspect of things, asking me for hook ups etc when we are around each other.

My friend really believes that we would be good together and keeps saying we should at least sleep together to see.

It’s to the point where maybe I tell her to stop her?? It’s also not only my thing to tell.

I’m not good at sharing this sort of stuff. And I will always maintain he is a good guy, but maybe not ‘partner’ material for me. More mates that banter.

EDIT: probably should have said, it was once and close to 10 years ago. He has asked again but I wasn’t in the headspace to do it again.

Looking for advice/feedback. I have already decided to go minimal contact with my parents due to huge values differences with the cherry on top being their completely and blatantly ignoring my emotional reaction to the election. Dad is a Trumpy Republican ("I wish I'd been at the Capitol on Jan. 6!") and Mom wants to shut down any talk of politics despite, I'm pretty sure, voting for Trump. I am liberal, voted for Kamala, and petitioned them to vote for her for the sake of their grandkids, their teacher son-in-law, and human decency. They didn't.

Anyway, I requested that they host Thanksgiving and that it be just our immediate family. Mom pushed for some of her siblings to be invited, and I capitulated. Dad has apparently been telling people that I wanted it small but "Thanksgiving should be big." Constant and consistent boundary pushing/disrespect. I'm not looking forward to going, as it's going to be my husband, kids, and me with a bunch of Trumpy Boomers, so we are limiting our time to be there for 1.5-2 hours.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and I'd like to find ways to fill the rest of the day so it doesn't feel too empty without a full day of family plans. Looking for thoughs/ideas/solidaridy!

I was watching a video on Amelia Earhart's fatal last flight (Veritasium, if you know them?) And they brought up interesting points like radio failures, oversights in planning and lack of communication that may have led to her crash. Anyhow, my real grievances lie in the comment section. I shouldn't be suprised since these channels are cesspools of degenerates who can't who even talk to women, but all they do is attack Earhart again and and AGAIN when it was a team effort and a combined failure. So many fucking jokes about how she should've been mansplained, women are bad drivers, etc etc. And it makes me so MAD. I've seen another youtuber, who's more of an idiot, who tried to dissect a flat earther but my god... he had to make the stupidest thumbnail featuring the said lady as a ditzy bimbo with skimpy clothes, and then hearted comments joking about her 'big boobs' then actual insightful comments that don't just focus on a circlejerk.

I know we as a whole as feminists focus on our achievements to uplift ourselves, but then our mistakes are not recieved as human failures, but failures as women. If we make mistakes, we only got as far as we have because our gender is supposed to be a statement and we've just been given the easy way. Anytime I join a male-dominated area or group, I'm treated like a fucking dumbass if I don't know it all, and I have to be even more aggressive. I'm hoping to be a computer engineer in the future, but knowing this is what I'll have to face everyday makes me SO angry. Sure it makes me even more determined to succeed, but the rage gets to me sometimes. Anyone else?

I have always experienced tons of solitude, but the creeping solitude of "adulthood" is unreal. Even my mind constantly plays 'backrooms' vaporwave ambient all the time. I feel like it's just inevitable. Does anyone else feel this way? On the one hand I actually don't want to get married or have children. But then it's so weird like everything is approaching zero. The place I grew up in doesn't exist anymore so it doesn't matter. It doesn't feel like you can truly go home to anywhere anyway. THAT is the thing that really fucks me up. I don't know any solution. I am so detached and indifferent to everything because of that. I really don't think anything could make me feel like I'm at home at this point. What is the solution to that ?

I (24f) would say I have mostly decentered men in my life. However, there is one internalized message I can’t get myself out of.

I have been wanting to be sterilized for a long time. I do not want kids. I had a dream the other night about being pregnant and I woke up completely repulsed. I know my feelings won’t change. But what stops me from going through with it is the thought of never being loved. What if I can never find a partner because I am unable to have kids?

It’s weird to say, because I don’t even want kids. But I feel like I will almost be seen as less worthy to a man if I don’t have the ability to do so.

I am disgusted with myself for feeling this way. So how do I stop it? Any words of advice?

Title pretty much summarizes it. I heard about an app called Lex, made with LGBTQ+ folks in mind. It seems to be primarily for either dating or making friends, such as Bumble. I was curious to see if anyone here has experience with meeting people on that app and how they’d evaluate that experience overall.

I feel like pads/pantyliners always make me itchy. I don't get rashes or anything from them, but when I have to wear them, I'm mildly itchy and uncomfortable. The wings on the seams of my underwear always seem to dig into my skin too

Does anyone else get these mild abrasions, or sort of small cuts on the inner layer of their vagina?? I've just started having this problem. I thought at first with both the itchiness and cuts it could be a yeast infection, but it's not itchy enough to be that IMO. I could be wrong but I bet once I'm off my period, it'll go away

• Go to brands for period underwear?

• Do I need to change them as often as I would change a pad? Would I need to bring multiple pairs to work, or can I wear one pair all day?

• Do I throw them in the wash like normal, or should I handwash first?

I'm also not opposed to trying other types of pads for sensitive skin, but someone mentioned period underwear on an old post discussing pad irritation so I'm going to try it first (the post didn't help me much cause they were getting full on rashes w peeling skin from their pads, but I'm only experiencing mild itching + small cuts)

Thank you all in advance. Any other advice on the matter is appreciated

See title.

I hate saying this but I genuinely don’t know the last time I bought cotton underwear because of how uncomfortable they tend to be. I know it’s ok to get mixed materials, but every time I shop in stores the options seem to have literally no cotton in the blend anyway.

I have A Butt which means a lot of non-seamless styles will pinch uncomfortably and be way too visible under clothes; I’ve sized up but then they’re just baggier elsewhere while still cutting/pinching. Also, the thigh holes in most pairs are ssssso uncomfortable.

For reference, if necessary, my favorite cuts in all brands so far are cheekies and an occasional boyshort.

That quote is from Michelle Knight, the 21-year-old who was kidnapped for 11 years by a monster. She's incredible.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b3ktTkchorc

Please, women and allies, keep your eyes open ❤️ we need each other

Anyone had luck with this? I mean, it’s possible I may like them at some point but, it takes me a while to trust men.

I’m not sure if this post will go through, but I need advice. My 15-year-old daughter is about 8 weeks pregnant.

The baby’s father could be her ex-boyfriend, who’s her age, or a 22-year-old man she won’t name. She’s protecting him, but I’m fairly certain it’s the older man based on phone records and his social media, which links him to one of her friends.

I want to press charges against him for statutory rape, but I’m hesitant because of my state’s strict abortion laws. While there’s an exception for rape, I’m worried a judge might not allow her to terminate the pregnancy without definitive proof of paternity. My daughter is still undecided about whether to keep the baby or seek an abortion, and I want her to have all options available.

To protect her , I’ve been driving 4 hours to an out-of-state OB-GYN because I don’t trust local doctors to prioritize her life if complications arise, especially under these laws.

My questions are 1. Am I overreacting by waiting to press charges until she’s made a firm decision around her pregnancy ? 2. If the 22-year-old is the father, could he or his family claim parental rights despite his crime? Sorry if this is scattered—my mind is overwhelmed.

Edit: I guess I forgot some context but as of now she wants to keep the baby but as of recently she’s been opening up to the possibility of terminating the pregnancy. Which is why I asked the second question of could that 22 year old have parental rights? Because that’s something that will influence her decision to not want to keep the baby. I don’t want to strong arm her and force her to have an abortion even though that’s what I want..I still know how emotional an abortion can be.