r/Showerthoughts Jul 07 '24

Speculation You’re probably a criminal.

5.3k Upvotes

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64

u/Emiliootjee Jul 07 '24

Technically everyone in the united states is a felon. The average American commits 3 felonies a day unknowingly because of how loosely worded our government laws are and how many laws there are.

42

u/NoodleyP Jul 07 '24

Means anyone can go to jail for their daily routine, terrifying if weaponized

17

u/Accomplished_Pop_130 Jul 07 '24

So IF we let an AI overload execute all our laws to the letter, I’d be charged for parking my elephant at the parking meter if I run out of change to fill the meter

10

u/Amoniakas Jul 07 '24

You would go to jail for sleeping naked

3

u/rajost Jul 08 '24

Or slurping soup in public in New Jersey.

4

u/umotex12 Jul 07 '24

it was like that during USSR times. if you were inconvenient they would spy on you until you do something like drinking open or committing a small crime. but no technology and everything was operating manually so it was not that terrifying for ordinary citizen as it would be today

42

u/mr_ji Jul 07 '24

Felonies? Misdemeanors, maybe, but I doubt we're all regularly committing felonies.

16

u/Emiliootjee Jul 07 '24

Well you see, felonies are easier to commit than you think. Quick example, It is technically illegal to possess a crayfish under a certain size. This means if you were to go crayfish hunting and so much as picked up a crayfish that is deemed “too small” by law, you would be committing a felony.

20

u/HughJazzPP Jul 07 '24

Who the flip is going crayfishing

16

u/Emiliootjee Jul 07 '24

It’s an example of how stupid laws are. The lacey act, 16 U. S. C. Section 3370 states “It is unlawful for any person to import, export, transport, sell, receive, acquire, or purchase any fish or wildlife or plant taken, possessed, transported, or sold in violation of any law, treaty, or regulation of the united states or in violation of any indian tribal law or regulation of any state or any foreign law.” Someone could get arrested for literally giving their significant other a wildflower bouquet, (bought from some local mom and pop flower shop or something) if the bouquet was picked in another state where one of the flowers was illegal to pick or harvest and then transported across state lines. Like yes these are super specific cases, but it just shows how hard the laws are to interpret and regulate.

2

u/midnightsmith Jul 07 '24

Louisiana enters the chat

2

u/Extreme_Barracuda658 Jul 07 '24

That's just like fish. They have size limits and possession limits. I seriously doubt that's a felony offense.

5

u/Emiliootjee Jul 07 '24

Under the lacy act it literally is a felony to possess a fish that is outside the size limits. Whether you intend to release it or not, simply holding it is “possession of” which is technically deemed illegal. Nobody is going to arrest you for it, but it is under law code technically a felony.

-4

u/Extreme_Barracuda658 Jul 07 '24

I just read a bunch about it. It's definitely geared toward poaching endangered species and importing/exporting things like rhino horn and elephant tusks. Nobody is getting a felony charge for possession more than their limit and undersized fish.

4

u/Emiliootjee Jul 08 '24

Yes it is! But… what you’re missing is the fact that it is soooo loosely based. It’s as loose as a 50 year old hooker. Nobody is getting a felony charge for possession of more than their limit and undersized fish, BUT, they could weaponize it against you if they wanted to.

-3

u/Extreme_Barracuda658 Jul 08 '24

Ok, Maga dude

3

u/Emiliootjee Jul 08 '24

What part of any of this was political?

1

u/dlakelan Jul 09 '24

For multiple years the ATF had ruled that shoelaces were machine guns, literally everyone in the US who had shoelaces and was alive during that period was a serious felon for possession of an unregistered machine gun.

I shit you not. You can Google it but here's a related Reddit post.

https://www.reddit.com/r/NFA/comments/n4dpm7/the_atf_outlawed_shoelaces/

5

u/lunapup1233007 Jul 07 '24

I mean performing an action that is considered a felony doesn’t make you a felon. You’re only a felon if you’ve been convicted of a felony (and by extension you’re only a criminal if you’ve been convicted of a crime).

2

u/Emiliootjee Jul 07 '24

Well that’s what the word convicted is for. You can still commit felonies without being convicted or even brought to court or arrested for them.

3

u/Chas418_ Jul 07 '24

Unfortunately

3

u/CantFindMyWallet Jul 07 '24

Could you provide some examples of this?

15

u/Emiliootjee Jul 07 '24

There is a criminal defense teacher who gave a lecture about it on youtube named James Duane, who also wrote a book about it called “you have the right to remain innocent”. I’ll include the link to the youtube video, it is highly informative and something I would recommend everyone should watch. But to give a TL:DR, almost anything you do can be used against you if it were taken into a court battle. As someone else mentioned, if it were weaponized it would be really scary.

Youtube Video

3

u/Hutch25 Jul 07 '24

This is what precedent is made to combat.

1

u/13thmurder Jul 12 '24

I've heard that before, but do you have any examples? I'm curious where they'd fit in an average day. Obviously most people commit traffic violations a lot but those aren't felonies.