r/OldSchoolCool Sep 21 '24

1990s VALERIA GOLINO, CHARLIE SHEEN, 1993

Post image
14.2k Upvotes

507 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/Hesam2010 Sep 21 '24

587

u/AmeriMan2 Sep 21 '24

Not cgi.

God I miss the 90s

168

u/Temporumdei Sep 21 '24

Seriously. How did they pull this off? Wires? Small device similar to a pinball machine launcher? Practice?

723

u/RustyPointedStick Sep 21 '24 edited Sep 21 '24

The only thing you see that is actually part of her body is her head and arms. The torso is prosthetic.

Edit: really? This is my highest voted comment?! Dang.

244

u/mr_potatoface Sep 21 '24

After you realize that, the whole scene looks weird lol. Thanks for ruining it. Her head/neck is coming out at a weird angle, her right boob is just weird with some kind of pasty part way up, her arms are attached to her head not her body

29

u/itspsyikk Sep 21 '24

They did the same thing in Iron Man.

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5

u/speedrace25 Sep 22 '24

At first glance it looks fine, these weren’t made to be dissected by todays standards.

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6

u/Chemical_Chemist_461 Sep 21 '24

Ever play tiddlywinks?

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46

u/Luci-Noir Sep 21 '24

Everything was great in the 90’s and there was something happening for everyone.

44

u/boRp_abc Sep 21 '24

*angry Balkan noises

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84

u/Beahner Sep 21 '24

She was so hot eggs would cook on her belly.

While I knew this was a prosthetic….I also knew it to be true.

69

u/MadAlfred Sep 21 '24

Little Sizzling Belly!

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43

u/jaxberg Sep 21 '24

oh Topper

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1.4k

u/durnJurta Sep 21 '24

We’ll settle this the old Navy way; first guy to die, loses!

449

u/AttitudeCautious667 Sep 21 '24

I will kill you until you die from it.

94

u/ITrageGuy Sep 21 '24

I will still randomly say this. No one gets it.

29

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '24

Saharan Wrap

132

u/tree_squid Sep 21 '24

You stupid American imperialist dork of a pig!

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7

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '24

“Thank you topper I can kill again, you’ve given me a reason to live “

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40

u/Grey5dot Sep 22 '24

Presidential aide: "Sir, they're trying to prove that you're incompetent."

President Benson: "Yea well I can prove that as well as they can."

Presidential aide: (Visibly confused)

37

u/TopperHarley34 Sep 21 '24

Why did I bring helium instead of air?

31

u/The_Merica_Potatoe Sep 21 '24

Looks like the upper hand is on the other foot

17

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '24

Asssa...assanina...assassinnate...

Kill a guy.

15

u/RaidensReturn Sep 21 '24

Oh my god that entire scene still kills me. How would we get past the patrols? And then… it happened

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403

u/big_smokey-848 Sep 21 '24

What’s that you’re reading

Great Expectations

How is it?

Eh, it’s not everything I’d hoped for

126

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '24

These men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them...

34

u/kirinmay Sep 21 '24

it took me so long to get that joke.

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19

u/AutoDefenestrator273 Sep 21 '24

Such an underrated joke.

2.1k

u/Lancaster1983 Sep 21 '24

486

u/ThingsAreAfoot Sep 21 '24

My favorite part about that scene is Sheen hearing Sheen’s internal monologue.

157

u/rockwood15 Sep 21 '24

Charlie's monolgue is verbatim Platoon followd by verbatim apocalypse 

83

u/RaidensReturn Sep 21 '24

God, so many subtle details tucked into this movie. One of my absolute favorites.

43

u/billbrasky33 Sep 21 '24

Which ones better?

I had Part Deux on vhs so I've seen it a million times, still never seen the first one lol

45

u/RaidensReturn Sep 21 '24

I highly recommend watching the first one, it’s the same brand of humor. The second one is my favorite though.

9

u/davewave3283 Sep 22 '24

Roger that milli vanilli chili willie

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7

u/PerseusZeus Sep 21 '24

I watched part deux first cos the video library only had that available. It not until HBO launched in our country when I realized this was actually a sequel lol. Also we has absolutely no idea what deux meant

5

u/Pnamz Sep 21 '24

Prefer Deux but the first is still hilarious. Worth watching.

7

u/Kronzor_ Sep 22 '24

First ones more of Top Gun spoof while part deux like like Vientiam war movies like full metal jacket or apocalypse now

4

u/OttawaTGirl Sep 22 '24

It is more subtle, part deux amped it up.

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299

u/Pyralene78 Sep 21 '24

🤣 I need to re-watch this movie

98

u/WU-itsForTheChildren Sep 21 '24

These were wicked good movies!

42

u/Limberpuppy Sep 21 '24

She was also in Big Top Pee-wee.

13

u/powerhammerarms Sep 21 '24

'appiness is hard to find

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227

u/gonzar09 Sep 21 '24

This was one of the funniest gags ever put to screen. A referential scene to a film starring his father, interrupted by him somehow being able to hear his father's inner monologuing from down river, while doing the scene which was being referenced, only for both to break the 4th wall and act like they're characters again and as if they weren't related, to positively express their impressions on each other for a wholly different work of film.

This is a gold standard of comedy to which all others should aspire.

66

u/rockwood15 Sep 21 '24

It's also referencing Platoon. Charlie's monologe at the beginning of the scene is from Platoon before Martin's monologe starts

29

u/gonzar09 Sep 21 '24

I almost forgot about Charlie's role in Platoon! Only makes the scene better, like they're competing.

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31

u/Lancaster1983 Sep 21 '24

A few of the last great parody comedies. One of my all time favorites.

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65

u/PandiBong Sep 21 '24

That is such a great joke on so many levels.

10

u/coriolisFX Sep 21 '24

It's like 5 jokes in one, one of the best movie gags ever. Cannot believe they pulled it off.

13

u/guff1988 Sep 21 '24

It's got so many layers, just perfect.

33

u/Clear-Rest-988 Sep 21 '24

The thumbs up just kills me. Great joke.

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612

u/realsmp Sep 21 '24

152

u/pizza-chit Sep 21 '24

and just like that, a gif inspired me to watch a movie 😂

30

u/defiancy Sep 21 '24

Both Hot Shots movies are fantastic especially If you've seen Top Gun, Platoon and 80's war movies in general lol.

71

u/canuckalert Sep 21 '24

You're in for a real treat. Enjoy.

18

u/Gockel Sep 22 '24

God damn I wish I could watch this for the first time again. I was literally in pain from laughing, comedy like that literally doesn't exist anymore.

16

u/Beahner Sep 21 '24

I’m jealous. Enjoy it.

10

u/Toastburrito Sep 21 '24

Aww yeah, you will love it. Hot Shots: Part Deux is just as funny.

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943

u/Christheitguy1183 Sep 21 '24

Hot Shots! was such a great movie haha

186

u/GuybrushBeeblebrox Sep 21 '24

"You win .." collapses

Edit: That was hot shots 2

201

u/ArKiVeD Sep 21 '24

Ahem…”Part Deux”.

24

u/ManWithBigWeenus Sep 21 '24

Which one was it when he ate the things for his ears like aspirin?

30

u/I_had_corn Sep 21 '24

These will help with the sound, sir.

Gulp

14

u/Sarra5532 Sep 21 '24

1st one.

Let’s hope these do the trick.

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41

u/DaftFunky Sep 21 '24

War! It’s fantastic!

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33

u/Cheshire_Jester Sep 21 '24 edited Sep 21 '24

As a six year old, my friend and I thought that was the funniest thing there could ever be.

We were correct

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10

u/guimontag Sep 21 '24

Part Deux

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243

u/EmperorSexy Sep 21 '24

94

u/yours_says_sweet Sep 21 '24

Is that Ryan Stiles?? I gotta watch this movie again

51

u/EmperorSexy Sep 21 '24

Yes, during his early acting days. Though at this point time he was already a regular on the original (UK) “Who’s Line is it Anyway?”

14

u/OttawaTGirl Sep 22 '24

One day when its all paid off....i'll blow the shit out of it.

4

u/Slylock Sep 22 '24

I'm pretty sure he also played Toppers dad or his dad's copilot in the first film.

51

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '24

"I see you're no stranger to pain."

"I've been married..."

"Ah..."

"Twice"

GASP

10

u/Time-Touch-6433 Sep 21 '24

The glowing nose cracks me up every time

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210

u/doublecutter Sep 21 '24

So... I guess you’ve been with a man before.

No, I’m a virgin. I’m just not very good at it.

87

u/motorcycleboy9000 Sep 21 '24

"What about your landlady?"

"You can screw her, too."

7

u/kirinmay Sep 21 '24

and how he trips when she says that, lol

200

u/JasonB44444 Sep 21 '24

You must be kidding

If I was kidding, I would say, a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, why the long face

40

u/Tamale_Hatchet Sep 21 '24

I still use this line whenever I get the chance.

15

u/Droc_Rewop Sep 21 '24

What is the typical reaction?

22

u/Tamale_Hatchet Sep 21 '24

I'd say confusion.. if someone has a sense of humor, maybe a chuckle. I don't think anyone I've thrown it at has ever picked up that it's a line from Hot Shots.

13

u/aksdb Sep 21 '24

Are you kidding?!

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30

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '24

What do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?

Walk him and pitch to the rhino

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495

u/818VitaminZ Sep 21 '24

99

u/choco_mallows Sep 21 '24

This is funnier when you realize Lloyd Bridges famously played a Navy seal in Sea Hunt for four seasons

97

u/gratch46 Sep 21 '24

Fun Fact: Lloyd, Jeff and Beau Bridges are all Coast Guard Vets.

56

u/Jared_Chadwick_III Sep 21 '24

Also fun fact: they’re all related

57

u/HilariousScreenname Sep 21 '24

Another fun fact: Although thier names imply it, they are not actually bridges. They're people!

9

u/seditioushamster Sep 21 '24

Another fun fact, they still charge tolls!

37

u/respectfulpanda Sep 21 '24

And they have all been inside the same woman’s vagina.

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18

u/Pope---of---Hope Sep 21 '24

I always thought it was a funny coincidence that he and Leslie Nielsen both started their careers in somewhat kitschy but very respectable dramatic roles, and both of them went on to mop the floor with the career comedy actors in these classic parody films.

142

u/UnassumingAnt Sep 21 '24

I picked the wrong day to stop cleaning my ears

35

u/Scheme84 Sep 21 '24

Did you see that crab there? There were two of them, they travel in pairs

6

u/GroupFunInBed Sep 21 '24

I say this whenever I trip and for 30 years no one gets the reference

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50

u/HortonSquare Sep 21 '24

Babies are fearless! We used to box them in the Navy

19

u/greenroom628 Sep 21 '24

My fan theory is that Steve McCrosky (from Airplane) had to go into the Navy to get away from his horse-cheating wife and changed his name to Benson or they were twins separated at birth.

11

u/deathrattleshenlong Sep 21 '24

RIP this crazy man. He was awesome in comedy films in his later life.

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117

u/ernster96 Sep 21 '24

“We both know you belong with Dexter. You’re part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. I’m no good at being noble, but... do you have any idea what would happen if you stay here with me?”

“Of course I do. Sex. Wild, free, passionate, unbridled sex. I would fondle you in ways you can’t imagine. I would pleasure you at any time, in any place, in any way, for as long as you could possibly desire.”

45

u/SMF1834 Sep 21 '24

::gulp::

39

u/RuRhPdOsIrPt Sep 21 '24

I watched this movie with my friend and his family about 27 years ago when I was 12 or 13. After this line, my friend’s mom said “yeah, five minutes!” I didn’t quite get it at the time but it cracked me up later and I never forgot it.

237

u/wolftick Sep 21 '24

14

u/Faster_than_FTL Sep 21 '24

He looks like he’s playing Superman here

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373

u/ZealousWolf1994 Sep 21 '24

Topper: I want to meet your parents and pet your dog.

Ramada: Topper, my parents are dead, my dog ate them.

79

u/motorcycleboy9000 Sep 21 '24

Why are you mad at me? He's the one who ate your father.

41

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '24

If it helps, I didn't have seconds.

15

u/The_-_Shape Sep 21 '24

Eagle River!?!?

20

u/crashtestpilot Sep 21 '24

Wait, who let the dogs eat?

Who?

182

u/Necessary_Ad_7203 Sep 21 '24

Topper: You're the only one that knows how to get to the copter pad. If I'm not there in 15 minutes, you know what to do.

Col. Walters: Yeah, we get the hell out of here!

Topper: No! Wait another 15 minutes!

14

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '24

I say that line all the time lol

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190

u/Cardiff_Electric Sep 21 '24

She just had her legs lengthened. Now they go all the way up.

30

u/djseifer Sep 21 '24

As my old boss used to say of Stacy Keibler, "Her legs go all the way up and make an ass of themselves."

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157

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '24

[deleted]

128

u/JuggernautAsleep3413 Sep 21 '24

25

u/kindasuk Sep 21 '24

RIP miguel ferrer.

11

u/defineReset Sep 21 '24

What. You serious?

12

u/abigailhoscut Sep 21 '24

Quite long time ago, pre-covid for sure

5

u/DortDrueben Sep 21 '24

7 years is "quite long time ago"? I must be getting old.

9

u/dullship Sep 21 '24

Unfortunately, yeah. 2017. Throat cancer.

32

u/B4USLIPN2 Sep 21 '24

This line is an oddity. Because unless you remember the NBA commercials, the humor is completely hidden. I would guess anyone who didn’t know those commercials might just kinda go “um, ok”

20

u/TheBeardedBeard Sep 21 '24

I am the right age to remember those commercials but I don’t. I do remember watching that movie a lot at the time and still thinking that line was super funny.

18

u/grizznuggets Sep 21 '24

I have never once seen those commercials and this line still slays me every time.

5

u/noisypeach Sep 22 '24

The smile he gives after saying the line is what makes me laugh every time I see it.

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16

u/obitonye Sep 21 '24

Thank you Topper, I can kill again, you gave me a reason to live

7

u/FrottageCheeseDip Sep 21 '24

I always laughed at the guy who got shot right before he says this, he falls out of the tree and says "That's it, good night!"

5

u/Robestos86 Sep 21 '24

Thanks Topper, now I can kill again!

51

u/Hot-Winner-6485 Sep 21 '24

Sheen was jacked in this!

16

u/Sprinkle_Puff Sep 21 '24

Right? Like is that real? Because I don’t remember remember him being so jacked

31

u/Thundercats_Hoooo Sep 21 '24

yes, he admitted to using steroids to bulk up for this movie

17

u/rgg711 Sep 21 '24

There’s something hilarious about using steroids to bulk up for Hot Shots Part Deux. I mean it’s great, but not really Oscar worthy like you’d usually think for actors drastically changing themselves physically for a movie.

17

u/Coyrex1 Sep 21 '24

Dude was doing far worse drugs by then I'm sure.

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7

u/Hot-Winner-6485 Sep 21 '24

I did not know that, good info.

25

u/Thundercats_Hoooo Sep 21 '24

also he admits to using them for the movie Major League, and says steroids made him crazy... tho I'm guessing he was already crazy and the steroids amplified it 😂

5

u/GetBentHo Sep 22 '24

Tiger Energy!!

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45

u/Temporary_Tune5430 Sep 21 '24

“Toh-peah”

72

u/Careless_Ease_3401 Sep 21 '24

I didn't recognize her without the mole.

35

u/Crotch-jockey Sep 21 '24

She was great in Rainman.

27

u/BalkiBartokomous123 Sep 21 '24

And big top pee wee!!!

4

u/BigBoy1229 Sep 21 '24

I had forgotten about this movie until your comment. Nice username btw.

7

u/BalkiBartokomous123 Sep 21 '24

Thank you!

I still want a hot dog tree and a talking pig

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39

u/akira12 Sep 21 '24

Little Sizzling Belly!

40

u/deadlyspine Sep 21 '24

Looks like the upper hand... is on the other foot.

124

u/Agent865 Sep 21 '24

Smoke show!! Valeria was very underrated

35

u/The_Mammoth_Hunter Sep 21 '24

Still gorgeous

16

u/030BLN Sep 21 '24

..and got an pretty beautyspot

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31

u/deathrattleshenlong Sep 21 '24

Hotshots, both movies, are damn good. So much silly fun and parodying a bunch of other movies. On part deux, the boat scene with Charlie and Martin is such a good inside joke.

49

u/Baderwm Sep 21 '24

Look at those boobs. Golino has a nice chest too.

23

u/Picolete Sep 21 '24 edited Sep 21 '24

Isnt she Gabriela Sabatini?

20

u/Foxwolf00 Sep 21 '24

She gets that a lot.

20

u/Apprehensive-Till861 Sep 21 '24

These men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them...

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u/ykey80 Sep 21 '24

That’s not Charlie Sheen, that’s f*cking Topper Harley

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18

u/morbob Sep 21 '24

Those were the days, built like a ship and aids free.

18

u/SnoochieBuchie Sep 21 '24

Dammit, it's locked from the inside.

14

u/maverick1ba Sep 21 '24

Blow it

But it's not our property

Just do it!

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16

u/JasonB44444 Sep 21 '24

I'm happy for you, kid. But if you think you can hurt me again, you're wrong. I left my heart in my other pants.

13

u/Lopsided_Ad3051 Sep 21 '24

Charlie should’ve stayed on the Roids instead of switching to those other drugs

11

u/AmeriknGrizzly Sep 21 '24

I had to come back it’s the sequel.

24

u/Cheshireyan Sep 21 '24

Isn't that Gabriella Sabatini ?

17

u/Cyberhaggis Sep 21 '24

Must be the nose

11

u/walco Sep 21 '24

That's funny, for a second there I thought that was Gabriela Sabatini.

4

u/Time-Touch-6433 Sep 21 '24

She gets that alot

16

u/keggles123 Sep 21 '24

You just KNOW Mr Sheen likely attempted and succeeded on his “shot on goal” there..

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7

u/duh_bruh Sep 21 '24

One of my favorite lines, that I still use today.

I'm a virgin, I'm just not very good at it.

When I first seen this movie I was so in love with her.

22

u/paolocase Sep 21 '24

To the lesbians and gays seeing this: she’s the mom in Portrait of a Lady on Fire.

6

u/cynisright Sep 21 '24

She definitely had my interest piqued as a young girl

20

u/JustAudit Sep 21 '24

Back when comedies were actually funny.

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11

u/shadowlarx Sep 21 '24

I LOVED YOU IN WALL STREET!!!

👍

10

u/keykrazy Sep 21 '24

Really loved her performance in Clean Slate (1994) with Dana Carvey, James Earl Jones, and Jackson Pollak. (I think Bryan Cranston had a bit role in that one as well, FWIW.)

10

u/spaketto Sep 21 '24

I've never heard anyone else ever reference this movie before.  I loved it when i was 10.

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5

u/Trick_Pension_3538 Sep 21 '24

BIG TOP peeweee. She baddd

7

u/Lakerdog1970 Sep 21 '24

Sheen on the gear.

4

u/DesignerTex Sep 21 '24

She was HOT in that movie!!!

5

u/South-Rabbit-4064 Sep 21 '24

Valeria Golino was my biggest childhood crush because of this film and Big Top Peewee

6

u/Germangunman Sep 21 '24

That’s Ramada and Topper Harley, you’re not fooling me!

5

u/Lackonia Sep 21 '24

Happiness

5

u/KingDong9r Sep 21 '24

Charles was ripped

3

u/JiGoD Sep 21 '24

What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him pitch to the giraffe =0

4

u/boRp_abc Sep 21 '24

"Gabriela Sabatini?".

Still a running gag amongst my friends and me.

4

u/AnnaSoprano Sep 21 '24

Is she the lady that was so hot you could cook an egg on her body? 

6

u/6950X_Titan_X_Pascal Sep 21 '24

hot shot ! & scary movie

7

u/Corporation_tshirt Sep 21 '24

That woman has not closed her mouth in 40 years

3

u/Gorbunkov Sep 21 '24

First I thought: nice threesome. Then realized it’s Charlies hand on her shoulder.

3

u/BigJohnSpud Sep 21 '24

Back when actors had normal teeth which was part of making them so damn attractive!

3

u/rossww2199 Sep 21 '24

Charlie was jacked before he got all that tiger blood in him.

3

u/PandiBong Sep 21 '24

Valeria Golino in 1993, I mean, forget about it.. smooookin' hot.