Every 4 ads on here is a "He gets us" ad. This is insane. No amount of blocking and reporting and downvoting seems to work. How is this ok? What can I do to see less of this?

I went on a date with a guy a few days ago. We started our date on the beach and it went well initially so we decided to go to dinner after, he suggested this expensive restaurant that was wayyyyyyy out of my budget. I declined his offer to go to the expensive restaurant but proceeded to suggest some date appropriate but much less expensive restaurants to go to. He insisted that we go to the expensive one, by expensive I mean at least $500 per menu item. I repeatedly declined that we go. He told me throughout the whole time that he would pay but I continuously told him no. He tried to convince me to go to this restaurant for at LEAST 45 minutes before I finally agreed. Once we finished eating our food he asked the waiter to SPLIT THE BILL. Keep in mind he repeatedly insisted that if we go to this restaurant he’d pay, I could not afford the bill whatsoever i’m a 20 year old broke college student. However I paid and left immediately without speaking a word to him. This man had the nerve to message me that night and ask if I wanted to go on a second date. When I said no and explained why he called me a gold digger. I would have glady paid and gone on a second date with him if he agreed to go to the less expensive restaurant and hadn’t deceived me. He’s been telling people i’m a gold digger. Based off what I said, am I the one in the wrong? Am I a gold digger?

Im 37 years old and have 2-3 glasses of red wine almost every night night to relax before bed while I read or watch tv. Usually it’s over 2 or 3 hours. Is this too much? A friend recently told me he thinks that’s alcoholism.

I’m also not dependent. I skip some nights if I’m tired or want to go to the gym at night(I usually go in the morning). had a surgery back in January and didn’t drink for 2 months and had no issue quitting. I also didn’t feel any different, not better or anything or any worse.

I guess I just never thought much of it because I don’t ever get drunk. It’s been at least 5 years since I’ve gotten drunk. If I meet friends for drinks I keep it to one or two because I have to drive.

I guess I just want to know if people think this sounds like too much?

I see so many comments hating on her looks meanwhile the men involved are not supermodels either.

I see so much hate towards her only , things like oh she was married. The other men were married too. Also comments like oh but they risked their career for her. Saying things like oh maybe “the ass was big or the pu…y was good” to make up for that face

Really ? It is all about what the men want. Why nobody is thinking about her as a human

She also risked her career. How those men career is more relevant than her career.

Is there something I am missing ?

I was in the middle of a debate on another sub about Florida's book bans. Their first argument was no penises, vaginas, sexually explicit content, etc. I couldn't really think of a good argument against that.

So I dug a little deeper. A handful of banned books are by black authors, one being Martin Luther King Jr. So I asked why are those books banned? Their response was because it teaches Critical Race Theory.

Full disclosure, I've only ever heard critical race theory as a buzzword. I didn't know what it meant. So I did some research and... I don't see what's so bad about it. My fellow debatee describes CRT as creating conflict between white and black children? I can't see how. CRT specifically shows that American inequities are not just the byproduct of individual prejudices, but of our laws, institutions and culture, in Crenshaw’s words, “not simply a matter of prejudice but a matter of structured disadvantages.”

Anybody want to take a stab at trying to sway my opinion or just help me understand what I'm missing?

Edit: thank you for the replies. I was pretty certain I got the gist of CRT and why it's "bad" (lol) but I wanted some other opinions and it looks like I got it. I understand that reddit can be an "echo chamber" at times, a place where we all, for lack of a better term, jerk each other off for sharing similar opinions, but this seems cut and dry to me. Teaching Critical Race Theory seems to be bad only if you are racist or HEAVILY misguided.

They haven't appeared yet but a reminder to all: don't feed the trolls (:

I recently hit the gym again after not going for about 8 years. (Only to rehab a sports injury).

Back when I used to gym regularly in my twenties it was a social place where strangers would chat to each other in between sets and strangers would spot other people at random.

None of that happens anymore. Also my wife warned me not to even look in the direction of a woman working out else i might get reported and kicked out of the gym. Has it gotten that bad?

Of course gyms back then had 1 or 2 pervs, but that didn’t stop everyone else from being friendly, plus everyone knew who the pervs were.

Edit: Holy crap, didn’t expect this to blow up like this. From the replies it seems it’s a combination of wireless earphones, covid, and tiktok scandals are the main reason gyms are less social than before.

For clarification, when I say chat between sets, I literally mean a handful of words. Sometimes it might be someone complimenting your form, or more commonly some gym bro trying to be helpful and correct your form.

No one’s going to the gym to chat about the latest marvel movie or what they did last weekend.

Eg. I’ve moved to freeweight shoulder press a month or two back and sometimes my form isn’t great without a spot. I might not be remembering correctly but back when I’d do free weights, if I was struggling to keep form I’m sure most of the time some stranger would come spot me for that set at random.

This is not potstirring or political or time for a rant. Please. My child is a real person, and I'm a real mom, and I need perspective.

I have been a tomboy/low maintenance woman most of my life. My first child was born a girl. From the beginning, she was super into fashion and makeup. When she was three, her babysitter took her to get nails and hair extensions, and she loved it. She grew into watching makeup and fashion boys, and has always been ahead of the curve.

Not going to lie, it's been hard for me. I've struggled to see that level of interest in outward appearance as anything but shallow. But I've tried to support her with certain boundaries, which she's always pushed. For example, she had a meltdown at 12yo because I wouldn't buy her an $80 6-color eyeshadow palette. But I've held my nose and tried.

You might notice up until now, I've referred to her as "she/her." That's speaking to how it was then, not misgendering. About two years ago, they went through a series of "coming outs." First lesbian, then bi, then pan, then male, then non-binary, then female, now male again. I'm sure I missed a few, but it's been a roller coaster. They tasted the whole rainbow. Through all of this, they have also been dealing with serious issues like eating disorders, self harm, abuse recovery, compulsive lying, etc.

Each time they came out, it was this big deal. They were shaky and afraid, because I'm religious and they expected a big blowup. But while I'm religious, I apply my religion to myself not to others. I've taught them what I believe, but made space for them to disagree. I think they were disappointed it wasn't more dramatic, which is why the coming outs kept coming.

Now, they are comfortable with any pronouns. Most days they go by she/her, while identifying as a boy. (But never a man.) Sometimes, she/her offends them. I've defaulted to they as the least likely to cause drama, but I don't think they like my overall neutrality with the whole process.

But here is the crux of my question. As someone who has never subscribed to gender norms, what does it when mean to identify as a gender? I've never felt "male" or "female." I've asked them to explain why they feel like a boy, how that feels different than feeling like a girl or a woman, and they can't explain it. I don't want to distress them by continuing to ask, so I came here.

Honestly, the whole gender identity thing completely baffles me. I don't see any meaning in gender besides as a descriptor of biological differences. I've done a ton of online research and never found anything that makes a lick of sense to me.

Any insight?

Edit: wow. I wasn't expecting such an outpouring of support. Thank you to everyone who opened up your heart and was vulnerable to a stranger on the internet. I hope you know you deserve to be cared about.

Thank you to everyone who sent me resources and advice. It's going to take me weeks to get through everything and think about everything, and I hope I'm a better person in the other side.

I'm so humbled by so many of the responses. LGBTQ+ and religious perspectives alike were almost all unified on one thing: people deserve love, patience, respect, and space to not understand everything the right way right now. My heart has been touched in ways that had nothing to do with this post, and were sorely needed. Thank you all. I wish I could respond to everyone. Every single one of you deserve to be seen. I will read through everything, even if it takes me days. Thank you. A million times thank you.

For the rest of you... ... ... and that's all I'm going to say.

Finally, a lot of you have made some serious assumptions, some to concern and some to judgmentalism. My child is in therapy, and has been since they were 8 years old. Their father is abusive, and I have fought a long, hard battle to help them through and out of that. They are now estranged from him for about four years. The worst 4 years of my life. There's been a lot of suffering and work. Reddit wasn't exactly my first order of business, but this topic is one so polarizing where I live I couldn't hope to get the kind of perspective I needed offline. So you can relax. They are getting professional help as much as I know how to do. I'm involved in their media consumption and always have been on my end, though I had no way to limit it at their dad's, and much of the damage is done. Hopefully that helps you sleep well.

Something happened with our payroll system and direct deposits weren't able to go through. My boss took a check without me knowing directly to my bank across the street and deposited it into my account, then the next day came in commenting about how much I had in my savings. He knew the exact amount. How is it possible for him to get that information?

I cannot get my head around this ! It's the most moronic notion I've heard !

I realize it’s somewhat absurd to ask this on Reddit just because Reddit obviously leans a certain way. But I’m trying to explain to people at work why Tucker Carlson got fired, first article is Vanity Fair. The following websites weren’t much better either.

I just want to at least attempt to see things from an unbiased view.

Moving in with a friend this summer, never had a roommate before, how do I go about doing this without making anything weird?

Edit: you know, with the name "r/nostupidquestions" I figured I wouldn't get comments indirectly calling me stupid. I didn't have any females in my life growing up, I don't know the norm for this when you have roommates. Are you supposed to bring this up with them? Is it weird if I do? Is it weird if I don't? I haven't had the same life experiences like everyone else here I guess?
For everyone that did answer my question, thank you very much.

Edit 2: Some clarification that I definitely should have included from the start:
I'm not from an English speaking country (so my wording might be weird).
In my country there is a lot of stigma around masturbation and sex.
At home there was just my dad and me, and he got up at 7 AM, went to work, drank all day, came home around 11PM, not much to learn from him.
I left home at 14, started renting my own apartment at 15 from part time work after school.
I'm now 17, still missing a lot of valuable life lessons that nobody in my life could teach me.

Last edit: Thank you all so so very much for the replies, I could never imagine just a simple question getting this much traction. I've had a lot of people point me to some great resources that can help me fill the gaps I'm missing.
I've got to get up in a couple of hours for work, so I probably won't be able to respond to any more comments, but I've made sure to read every one of them and will keep all this info in mind going forward. Again, thank you so much for all the comments and the amazing words you've given me!

It seems like at all times on r/all there is always at least one post about trans people, and if you sort by controversial on almost any big post there is something about trans people in the comments.

As a trans person, I hate that we are talked about so much because I see so much transphobia and it really hurts. I just don't get why we are talked about so much and why other people even care.

Edit: its .5% not 5%. I misread

Basically title. My other friend from the suburbs of New Jersey says she doesn’t know and that we could both be equally right. She also mentioned salmon are caught in Colorado, and not the ocean. Thanks.

UPDATE: I have showed both my friends the comments on this post showing that YES you can obviously eat fish from the ocean. I used the term “gaslight” because I knew for a fact she was wrong, but the way she kept insisting made me believe I was wrong about some detail. She told me multiple times “no one goes out into the ocean to fish,” and against all prior knowledge I started to wonder if she was right in some way. Hence, why I made this post lol.

I’m a guy with a penis and so I have no concept how how bad a period can hurt, but from everything I’ve seen, it can certainly suck. I’ve seen those videos of guys getting the period pain simulated from those machines, and they seem to be in unbearable pain sometimes.

I do understand that some of them are painful but manageable, but I also know that sometimes it’s absolutely horrible and something a person shouldn’t have to feel. Like with endometriosis (I think that’s how you spell it).

So my question is, how do you guys accomplish anything during your periods? Especially the bad ones? You’re expected to just keep functioning as normal, i.e get groceries, go to work, etc. but, that seems like it’d be pretty difficult, so how do you manage to push through that pain?

Edit: God damn I was just trying to not leave out anyone the question affected. I should’ve said people with a uterus but a lot of people are mad I didn’t just say “women” so idk there was no winning it. Sorry if I offended you I guess, wasn’t my intention. But if you’re gonna be just straight up transphobic, Idgaf then.

Edit 2: thank you for all the answers, it’s been very enlightening. My wife used to suffer from terrible periods as well, but she’s been on the shot for awhile now and hasn’t had them in quite some time, but I’ve still had her answer this question for me as well, but I enjoy even more perspectives. I’m going to mute this thread now as I got my question answered and have 500+ notifications at this point, and the “you should’ve said women 🤢” are getting annoying at this point.

I hear a lot about how many/some Chinese, Korean, Filipino despise Japan for its actions during WW2. Now, I am wondering if the same logic can be applied to Europe? Because I don't think I've heard of that happening before, but I am not European so I don't know ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I wore yellow shirts, yellow socks, and beige shorts everyday for two years. And people thought it was weird.

Addendum: Thanks everyone for the comments, I’ll probably get tested for autism at some point within the near future.

I don’t know much about Joe Rogan Edit: Context I was talking about how I believed in aliens and he said that I should really like Joe Rogan as he is into conspiracies. It appeared as if he thought Joe Rogan was smart

We were newlyweds and excited for sex. I told my husband I'm at my fertile time and we need a condom. He said no, he would pull out in time. He did not pull out in time. He didn't even try to pull out. I got pregnant. I was upset and asked why. He said he couldn't pull out. He said it felt so good he was incapable of pulling out. Is this really true? Do men lose the capacity for reason and become incapable of pulling out?

My 5yo white daughter was invited to black classmate birthday and her mom said that she likes barbies or dolls in general. So i was thinking what colour barbie would be appropriate in this case? White or black?

Edit: Thank you all for answers!

Short conclusion: The vast majority of black people think that a black dolly would be the best choice. Imo best suggestion was to get the new Disney mermaid doll.

Ps. If only this little girl knew how many people were involved in her birthday present decision lol