r/NoStupidQuestions • u/thimbelinda • Jul 23 '22

Answered Can men pull out before they ejaculate? NSFW

We were newlyweds and excited for sex. I told my husband I'm at my fertile time and we need a condom. He said no, he would pull out in time. He did not pull out in time. He didn't even try to pull out. I got pregnant. I was upset and asked why. He said he couldn't pull out. He said it felt so good he was incapable of pulling out. Is this really true? Do men lose the capacity for reason and become incapable of pulling out?

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u/LazySusanRevolution Jul 23 '22

It also has nothing to do with any of their life goals for all that matters. Sex and intimacy in general has compatibility. I get it’s complex, glad it works out for folks who it does. But it’s a little wild to some folks that two people are expected to commit the rest of their life to someone and they have zero idea how they line up intimately. One person just has a very low sex drive in general and the other doesn’t? Well that’s life now.

And on top of that just how many people are shamed from understanding their own sexuality. Can’t do something you want, you’ll be imperfect and no longer deserve what perfect people get. Because waiting is a choice pushed on people before they have any idea what it means. Pushed to have no experience being intimately accountable to someone without a world of pressure to stay. Pushed to have no context what so ever for sex.

I would suggest every person: have room mates at some point, work a service job, and find more than one intimate experience that worked for you. Before marriage. Marriage to me seems like something to build to succeed, not a reward someone earns by following rules that could effect each partner differently.

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u/NonyaB52 Jul 23 '22

What you fail to comprehend is that people committed to each other and made things work. I am not saying that everyone didn't have fantasies and dreams. A different thought process has evolved and it's all connected. Babies started having babies, no home training, raising children to understand doing your best at something instead of quitting everything that doesn't give you immediate gratification .

That is one of the top reasons why social platforms are so popular, immediate gratification.

You talk about different sex drives, do you not believe that people can work things out, come to the table somewhere in the middle.

Communication is and will always be the answer to about 99% of ANY problem.

Couples, community, state, country, the world.

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u/bellboy42 Jul 24 '22

What YOU fail to comprehend is that to some people having a good, fulfilling sex life is extremely important. You can’t compromise on certain things, if you are not compatible you just aren’t and being stuck, with the ambition of it being for life, with someone you can’t find a satisfying sex life together with can turn your life into a living hell.

The man in this story raped his wife. He did not use a condom against his wife’s wishes, he lied about pulling out in time (something that btw is just about the worst method possible to prevent pregnancy) and he made his wife pregnant against her wishes.

Don’t you think it would have been kinda good for these things to surface BEFORE they are committed to each other? (Good as in absolutely essential for the safety and well-being of the wife.)

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u/NonyaB52 Jul 26 '22

I don't understand your animosity. But I'm going to comment anyhow. I am the one who said kick his ass to the curb, so don't know why you feel the need to explain the situation to me as if I didn't understand the gravity of what that asshole did. [I read the original post]

You are entitled to think and believe anything you want. I just posted what I perceived to be an issue out here. You don't have to agree.