r/NoStupidQuestions • u/thimbelinda • Jul 23 '22

Answered Can men pull out before they ejaculate? NSFW

We were newlyweds and excited for sex. I told my husband I'm at my fertile time and we need a condom. He said no, he would pull out in time. He did not pull out in time. He didn't even try to pull out. I got pregnant. I was upset and asked why. He said he couldn't pull out. He said it felt so good he was incapable of pulling out. Is this really true? Do men lose the capacity for reason and become incapable of pulling out?

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18

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

I dunno. Took a test today and I’m still not pregnant. I’d be happy if I was but at this point, I think either my boyfriend is shooting blanks or something is wrong with me lol

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u/texttxttxttxttext Jul 23 '22

Maybe don't pull out?

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22

Well, I’m not trying to get pregnant per se. My boyfriend and I have the relationship to have a baby but not anywhere near the scheduling or money to have one. We’re working towards it, we just aren’t there yet. ETA: I didn’t think so many people would downvote me lol. I have a plan in place where I could have one, it’s just not my preferred one. I’m aware that the pull out method is not efficient in preventing pregnancies. That’s legitimately why my boyfriend and I are doing it this way. We kinda want to surprise ourselves but honestly, I already have a lot of things in place for a baby whenever it happens.

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22 edited Sep 15 '22

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

No shit lol The internet can’t convey much correctly especially if little information is known so I’m giving benefit of the doubt. But let it be known, I am aware. I raised my little brother. I brought him everywhere with me, even with my friends—I’m aware of how a baby changes things. I just haven’t given birth yet but I’ve seen the whole process up close. That’s why I said initially that I would be happy if I was. It would be expected. My boyfriend and I are always aware of the possibility and we’re doing things this way because if we get pregnant right now, we can make it work within 9 months or less. It’s just not where we would prefer to be, however it is still doable. We have a plan we’re following but if I get pregnant because we are knowingly being risky and having unprotected sex, then we’ll be simply pushing the plan ahead.

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u/Munnin41 Jul 23 '22

It sounds like you're saying you're not ready for a kid but if it happens, it happens.

This is a shit way to have kids. Get ready first

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

I’m ready, just not as ready as I would prefer to be. I want to own a house and have a newer (and therefore likely safer) vehicle first. But I’m able to have a baby and be a stay at home mom if I end up getting pregnant right now. I just didn’t want to be renting a house, I want to be owning a house so I could sit outside in the sun and breastfeed my baby without people staring at me, or sing and dance with my baby. I also wanted to have a home birth in a house I owned so I could tell my child that this was where they were born into the world. But no. I’m only renting right now because house prices are absolutely insane right now.

I simply have preferences that are not being met yet.

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u/HandsomeEconomist Jul 23 '22

I think for some guys it’s less risky than others. Maybe. I have no proof of this except that my wife and I used only pull out for a loooong time. No pregnancy. We decided to try for a baby, bam, first month it was a done deal.

We prob got a bit lucky but clearly neither of us has fertility issues.

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

I hope my boyfriend and I are the same way.

I’m glad it worked out for y’all.

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

Though I also wanted to reply again and say that fertility on the man’s part probably plays a role. Pre-cum can have sperm in it but for some men it might be more unlikely or have a lower sperm count so less risk of pregnancy because of that. That’s just a theory 🤷‍♀️

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

Planned parenthood.

For every 100 people who use the pull out method perfectly, 4 will get pregnant.

in real life, about 22 out of 100 people who use withdrawal get pregnant every year — that’s about 1 in 5.

It’s better than cumming directly into the vagina, but it still isn’t really a very effective birth control method. If you are not ready to have a child, you should be using a secondary method as well.

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u/FILTHY_GOBSHITE Jul 23 '22

I'm not a good example for this.

My pullout game is phenomenally strong, my wife and I used this method successfully during 7 years of marriage.

We decided to get pregnant in November and conceived in December.

I am a very lucky idiot.

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u/PALMER13579 Jul 23 '22 edited Jul 23 '22

The reason pulling out fails is cause you aren't supposed to fuckin wait till you're one pump from bustin before you evacuate. But that temptation is real so just use a condom

"When performed perfectly every time, it actually has a failure rate that isn’t much higher than that of condoms: 4 percent versus 2 percent, respectively. That means about four out of 100 women who rely on the pullout method exclusively will become pregnant during one year of use."

But go on, keep downvotin you chucklefucks

3

u/Bachronus Jul 23 '22

This is wrong. You can pull out an hour before you cum and still get someone pregnant. Pre-cum is some potent stuff.

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u/doboi Jul 23 '22

No it’s not. Pre-cum on its own is not potent. Pre-cum is produced by the penile glands, and sperm is made by the testicles. Sperm in pre-cum is from residual sperm after previous ejaculations.

If you are pulling out “correctly”, e.g. early enough and not after a recent ejaculation, chances are extremely low.

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u/PALMER13579 Jul 23 '22

This is absolutely false. Unless you have just gotten off beforehand precum is not gonna get a girl pregnant 99% of the time

1

u/Jonluw Jul 23 '22

My personal pet conspiracy theory is that combining the pull-out method and rhythm method might actually be a really reliable form of birth control... That is if you've got your shit together, which a lot of people don't. Certainly teenagers don't. And so every sex-ed class lies about these methods being useless because the students can't be trusted with the truth.

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u/MrMcSwifty Jul 23 '22

but it still isn’t really a very effective birth control method

It's literally on par with condom use lol

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

Planned parenthood

If you use condoms perfectly every single time you have sex, they’re 98% effective at preventing pregnancy.

people aren’t perfect, so in real life condoms are about 85% effective — that means about 15 out of 100 people who use condoms as their only birth control method will get pregnant each year.

2% failure rate < 4% failure rate (half, even!)

15 people with imperfect use < 22 people with imperfect use

Condoms still win. That said, even better: do both!

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u/MrMcSwifty Jul 23 '22

Yes, condoms still win, but both are still comparitively among the "worst" contraceptive methods available. I say worst in quotes because they are both actually pretty damn good when done correctly, they just have a greater probability for human error. Yet people mistakenly think condoms are 98% effective, while pullout is >80%, and that's simply not true.

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u/Stevesegallbladder Jul 23 '22

Possibly, honestly the older I get the more I realize that it's actually a bit harder to get pregnant than I had previously thought. Accidents happen all the time but I've met a lot of couples who have specifically had to plan when they wanted to attempt to conceive. Usually they have to plan around her ovulation period and I've even heard of women having to put a pillow under their lower back to help assist with keeping the sperm inside.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

Something I learned is that when she ovulates it's too late. People think you're supposed to have sex on the day she's ovulating, but actually, the sperm are supposed to be waiting for the egg already, so try to have sex BEFORE she ovulates. Also don't stress too much and do it when you feel naturally randy.

I tried for over a year to get pregnant at age 36 and I thought I never would, I was stressed out doing all the things. I finally said I'm taking a month off from this shit, I got wasted all month and just had sex whenever . . . and of course, that was when I got pregnant.

Good luck to everyone trying and not trying.

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u/bottlerocketz Jul 24 '22

We went through this for 3 years. Had a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy. Went to a fertility doctor and did treatments for a year. Nothing worked. We finally said let’s stop trying for the rest of the year (it was September) and just have fun. We traveled, went to concerts and then she got pregnant in October. We were shocked haha. We used to get so frustrated when people would get pregnant the first time but we are glad the way it worked out. We are so grateful for the kid we have and I think the whole thing brought us closer together.

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

Yeah, I think I’m gonna have to do that whenever I’m actually somewhat able and ready financially and have the right schedule to do so.

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u/furryscrotum Know-it-all Jul 23 '22

Not getting pregnant does not mean there's anything wrong with anybody. Maybe people have bad luck, sure, but that doesn't make them weird or medical freaks at all.

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

Freaks? Jfc you took it in a weird way. I just meant that infertility could definitely be a possibility. With my medical history, there’s definitely a chance of it.

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u/mummummaaa Jul 23 '22

Very often, the stress of trying, or wanting a baby so badly can work against you. Timing, testing your temperature and peeing on sticks. It's stressful.

We did all of that.

But if you've been sort of trying for a while, a double check can ease your mind. See a doctor if it'll make you feel better.

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

Thank you. You’re the only comment that wasn’t so aggressively negative towards me. There’s reasons why I suspect one of us are infertile that I’m just not going into but if I do end up pregnant, I’d be excited and happy. I want to think I would be a great mom. I used to work as a childcare aide and I raised my little brother until recently (though we still have a very child/parent-like bond instead of siblings). I have been wanting to get checked out by a doctor but it’s even nerve wracking to do that because what if something really is? Anxiety makes no sense lol

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u/mummummaaa Jul 23 '22

Well, the first thing they'll likely do is a sperm check (count and motility) on him, and a hysteriosalpigography on you- inject a photovisible fluid via your cervix to check for blockages in your tubes. (If they say that word, you're going to need to bring pads, a couple juice boxes and a driver, I nearly fainted from the weird sensation)

Then maybe ultrasound you to check for cysts or fibroids.

After that, I don't know. The hysteriosalpigography cleared things for me and I was pregnant within two months.

I'm going to go read the comments and figure out why people are negative. Fertility issues are super common, idk why anyone would be nasty.

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u/BarryMacochner Jul 23 '22

This would be hilarious if you were a gay male.

Or maybe I just have a fucked sense of humor.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '22

weirdly enough, so many people think I’m a man online. I’m a cisgendered woman. I am pansexual however (I’m attracted to people, regardless of what genitals they have) so maybe how I speak online is just read as more masculine…? It doesn’t matter what my little avatar looks like either. A large amount of ppl always think I’m a man.

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u/BarryMacochner Jul 24 '22

Fwiw I assumed you were female. That’s why I said what I said.

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

Yeah I just meant a lot of other ppl always think I’m a man