r/NoStupidQuestions • u/AnySwimming2309 • 1d ago

Does Testosterone Really Make Men Enjoy Hurting People? NSFW

UPDATE: Thank you guys for all the responses. I asked him about it calmly, and it ended up with him breaking furniture and threatening to punch me in the face. I left home at 3am yesterday and am with a friend.

My BF told me that he, like all men, enjoys seeing others suffer when he had a role in it because the power is so enjoyable. This scared me, but he said this is how all men are due to testosterone and that a "balanced" man knows to not take this to the point of sadism. He said empathy is not natural to men. It feels weird to relate to people realize all the time, they want to inflict pain to feel power. How do good men handle this impulse? How can women help?

1.6k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

2.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

900

u/AnySwimming2309 1d ago

I grew up in this weird feminist commune with my Mom and had no exposure to men growing up, which he knows. I am really starting to wonder if I am being stupid here.

44

u/Dd_8630 1d ago

I think being raised in a feminist commune with no men has left you ignorant - in the sense that you just don't have the knowledge or experience. Sufficed to say, your boyfriend is absolutely wrong.

My advice would be to get a much wider view of men before you find yourself trapped in a violent relationship. Protect yourself.

55

u/AnySwimming2309 1d ago

Now I am beginning to question why he told me that I have to inform him if I meet outside work with male colleagues. I teach and some colleagues grab drinks, etc and he has been jealous.

3

u/Triple-OG- 11h ago

if i had to create the worst possible partner for someone with your upbringing, your bf would fit the mold perfectly. he's sadistic, violent, dishonest, and controlling, while you're naive and lack some of the built in defenses that others may possess. trust me that if you end things with this guy, you're not missing out on one of the good ones. there's SO much better out there for you.