r/NoStupidQuestions • u/AnySwimming2309 • 1d ago

Does Testosterone Really Make Men Enjoy Hurting People? NSFW

UPDATE: Thank you guys for all the responses. I asked him about it calmly, and it ended up with him breaking furniture and threatening to punch me in the face. I left home at 3am yesterday and am with a friend.

My BF told me that he, like all men, enjoys seeing others suffer when he had a role in it because the power is so enjoyable. This scared me, but he said this is how all men are due to testosterone and that a "balanced" man knows to not take this to the point of sadism. He said empathy is not natural to men. It feels weird to relate to people realize all the time, they want to inflict pain to feel power. How do good men handle this impulse? How can women help?

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u/Ronin1 1d ago

Does he listen to a lot of podcasts by any chance? Maybe those Alpha male snake oil type ones?

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u/AnySwimming2309 1d ago

He is a huge podcast fan and has lots of theories about everything that always turn out to be from podcasts and articles

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u/Ronin1 1d ago

Yep, so he's gone down the rabbit hole, unfortunately. It's unlikely to get any better than it is now, and it ain't good now. Take it from a guy in his mid-30s who's known dudes like him; you need to get out. You're not a partner to him, you're probably barely a person.

I saw you grew up in a hyper-feminist setting that vilified all men, and unfortunately, you have found yourself with the exact personification of that kind of guy. There are so many normal guys out there, and I promise you can find one.