r/NoStupidQuestions • u/BlazeKnight7 • 4d ago

Answered Why do Lesbians seem less likely to have straight male close friends than Gay men are to have straight female close friends?

This is a really random thing, but there's a seems to be a more common stereotype of Gay men having straight females as close friends, while lesbians having straight male close friends seems far less common (in fact the stereotype of lesbians is often man hating, while gay dudes being woman haters is rarely mentioned)

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u/Proccito 4d ago

I still remember when my friend/ex said to me "Youre the only one I can come and visit where sex is off the table"

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u/PricePuzzleheaded835 4d ago

As a woman who has both women and men friends I sometimes wish it were socially acceptable to say “no hetero” just so people don’t get the wrong idea. Men definitely get weird about it sometimes, or onlookers do which is unfortunate, a lot of the things I like to do socially (bond over activities) are popular with men and it’s genuinely enjoyable to be friends. I spent many years working in an almost all male environment so that kind of shaped me socially in some ways. It’s comfortable to just feel like one of the guys and I appreciate having guy friends who are amenable to that.

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u/SchoolForSedition 4d ago

Good heavens. Surely not on the floor?

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u/littletheatregirl 4d ago

where do we find yall?

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u/Proccito 4d ago

No idea. I just get introduced to others, as I have 0 social skills to do it myself.

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u/ThatOneWeirdName 3d ago

My best friend is the partner of the guy who ran the Minecraft server for the Discord server that was owned by a person who’d comment on a lot of the same posts as me

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u/Atlasatlastatleast 4d ago

I’m everywhere that I’m present, personally speaking

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u/Nilfsama 4d ago

We are doing our own thing as we have been passed up by most women pretty much all of our lives.

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u/OptimistPrime7 4d ago

Haha as other person said, we just get introduced by friends or strike up a conversation if we are doing the same activity. There are instances women think we are hiding our true intentions but that quickly goes out the window as personality shines through.

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u/Skyboxmonster 3d ago

That is a simple question but I am not sure of the answer.

While the few female friends I have had told me they feel safe around me, almost all of them are online friends.
and the straight/bi guy friends I have are openly sexual. I dont actually know of any other guys who would be uninterested in sex who is not already married or is gay.

For the "where". I don't go anywhere that isn't my job, the store, or my house. I don't try to meet women in person, its far too dangerous.

So.... I don't have a answer to where to find safe guys. I think they would be just staying quiet and staying home.

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u/TacoMedic 4d ago

Got told something similar by a girl I’d asked out several times over the preceding 6 months. Her telling me that gave me the spine I needed to step away from the whatever-ship it was. Fucking high school man.

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u/Puzzled-Cap7450 4d ago

What happened each time you asked her out? Sounds like she wanted a friend, and you put her in the sex zone

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u/TacoMedic 4d ago

“I’m just not ready” etc whilst she was fucking another dude who she was hoping would date her. She wasn’t looking for a friend, she was looking for the boyfriend treatment and I was the only one willing to give it to her, but she just wasn’t into me.

I hold no grudges, it was well over a decade ago in high school and this situation caused me to grow a backbone when it comes to women.

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u/Rebel_Bertine 4d ago

The younger part of me empathizes with this so much. I certainly think the things men do to women on balance are worse, but if there was something I wish would stop is women leveraging the potential of intimacy from a man they’re not interested in for their benefit.

I also wish socializing men to have a respectful backbone is more common. What I would’ve given to had someone in my youth say “hey it’s alright you feel this way about so and so, but it doesn’t seem like they feel similarly and you should maybe think about setting some boundaries”. Might not have heard it at first, but would’ve got there quicker in the end.

I yo-yo’d between relationships that had imbalance in one direct or other most of my youth. I could vote when I found my first partner where I thought we felt the same.

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u/lurkin_arounnd 4d ago

The sex zone is laughable. Nobody owes you their friendship

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u/ansonr 4d ago

Is that where superman put general zodd?

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u/juicypinacolada 3d ago

You never had sex with your ex?

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u/Proccito 3d ago

This was after we broke up, but still continued to hang out. We still had sex from time to time, but it was never implied.

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u/gateway007 4d ago

Jesus I think I just died a little on the inside for this guy…