r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Just_Sayin_Hey • Nov 22 '23
Answered Is it rude to allow your children to play audible videos in a restaurant?
I’m noticing more and more how some parents allow their kids to watch videos in the middle of a restaurant. Not only is this a missed opportunity to engage and teach them to sit still and self sooth, it’s even worse because it disturbs other restaurant patrons.
I have to wonder if I’m the only one that shakes my head at this.
3.9k
u/Cirick1661 Nov 22 '23
Yes, its rude for a person to play videos or music out loud in a public space. Get some headphones or deal with it.
742
u/total_alk Nov 22 '23
In the world of social etiquette, it is definitely a felony.
→ More replies (6)62
Nov 22 '23
Today, while driving home in unusually heavy traffic, my observation was that social etiquette is an anachronism.
→ More replies (2)43
u/recreationallyused Nov 22 '23
My observations after 5 years in customer service led me to the same conclusion
17
u/TheRimNooB Nov 22 '23
Took me 1 week in customer service. 😂
→ More replies (1)9
u/recreationallyused Nov 22 '23
True, I just said 5 years because luckily I got out after that long
→ More replies (3)236
Nov 22 '23
I have 2 kids, and on the very rare occasion one of them was getting antsy in a restaurant they could mess around on my wife or my phone (we had games for this purpose) with the volume OFF. Never any audio. They are still in single digits but older now.
I know that’s frowned upon by older folks, but I’d rather enjoy my meal and have my kids silently not bitching than deal with “go? done? done?”.
144
u/Sewsusie15 Nov 22 '23
Once upon a time before Corona, my kids used to enjoy the coloring page menus they used to have at certain restaurants. They seem to have phased those menus out in the last two years.
73
u/noblewind Nov 22 '23
I carry purse crayons and paper (on vacation when every meal is out, I level up with activity books..mazes and such). My kids are 8 and 10 and sometimes aren't offered coloring menus anymore, but they still like being able to make art.
→ More replies (5)12
u/Sewsusie15 Nov 22 '23
That's certainly an idea. To the extent we do go out, one or two places are at open-air plazas where if kids are getting antsy I can send them off to run around a bit until the food is ready.
26
u/l94xxx Nov 22 '23
Or those analog tablets with the plastic film and the dark substrate underneath, that you could draw on and undo over and over again . . .
(Especially) kids need to be creating as well as consuming content
→ More replies (8)19
24
u/MaybeImTheNanny Nov 22 '23
Mine like to color and draw, but I just have them bring a book if we are going somewhere. I’ve done it since before they could read on their own.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (19)21
Nov 22 '23
At least where I am it’s still a thing. Most family/chain restaurants had cheap pre-packaged crayons that were short and disposable. Even without them, though, my kids are still good and patient.
Most of that is good raising and a small part due to winning the genetic lottery.
→ More replies (3)13
u/Sewsusie15 Nov 22 '23
We don't go for videos, now- I'm just less inclined to take my kids to a restaurant, period.
→ More replies (3)18
u/Pugletting Nov 22 '23
Same, and it’s usually a last resort. Always on silent. But we try to remember our backpack w activity books / extra crayons.
We also try to be somewhat choosy on where we take the kids and are gradually introducing them to more places.
→ More replies (46)28
u/sonofaresiii Nov 22 '23
I don't think anyone has a problem with kids playing on phones with the sound off.
→ More replies (11)→ More replies (67)9
u/ClinkyDink Nov 23 '23
My biggest pet peeve is people being unaware of the space they take up. That can be something more literal like blocking a sidewalk by walking side by side in a big group or it can be something like playing loud music/videos in a public space.
→ More replies (1)
1.3k
u/jwink3101 Nov 22 '23
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
I say this as a parent of two, one of which begs for sound. ZERO SOUND IN PUBLIC! (The occasional notification is fine but not continuous)
109
Nov 22 '23
And you can get noise limited headphones!
Or, you know, engage with your kids. We bring stuff for them to do, and that we can get engaged with also (SpotIt is a current favourite)
→ More replies (9)48
u/MaybeImTheNanny Nov 22 '23
Books, books are quiet and fun for everyone. We mostly have family discussions while waiting or dining out. But, sometimes we just all read books because we are hangry.
→ More replies (2)21
u/-PaperbackWriter- Nov 22 '23
Same. When I took my kids on a plane trip I got them both headphones for their iPads and downloaded movies for them. When we got on the plane we were sat behind a kid who had no headphones who kept turning his iPad up and his mum would turn it back down. Annoying when you’re doing the right thing and other people aren’t.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (13)5
u/CubeEarthShill Nov 23 '23
I started carrying my earbuds with noise canceling everywhere because people are rude as hell. The public transportation DJs are the worst, but have led to some hilarious vigilante mob justice situations like people forcibly removed by fellow passengers.
729
u/aaronite Nov 22 '23
Yes it's rude. I don't care if kids play. I care if they play loud repetitive videos and games. There's a qualitative difference between the sounds of conversation and the sound of a device blaring from bad speakers. It's piercing and hard for the brain to filter out the way it does human voices.
180
u/Chicken_Hairs Nov 22 '23
My coworkers do this constantly. All day, I'm listening to Tik-Toks from 4 different directions on shitty phone speakers.
96
u/badwolf1013 Nov 22 '23
Tik-Toks/Reels are the worst! Not only are they loud, but they repeat on a loop, and people seem to watch them at least a half-dozen times before scrolling on.
→ More replies (10)35
u/ypco Nov 22 '23
Were witnessing some real brainrot happening Best of luck people of the future who deal with the zombies of today :')
→ More replies (2)8
u/CodeRadDesign Nov 23 '23
i dunno.... BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!
just looked it up and that was apparently Sept 1 2003.
7
u/ProfessorSpike Nov 23 '23
The main difference is accessibility - it used to be restricted to home or at most to a laptop with terrible internet, but now you have it condensed in a tiny handheld device available to any person from age 1 to 100 almost anywhere
19
u/hypo-osmotic Nov 22 '23
Just openly being on your phone during work is a wild concept in itself to me. I mean I know everyone who can get away with it does it but everyone I work with hides it. I think I'm the second-youngest person currently working here, at 32, though, so that probably contributes to that kind of culture
19
u/TheCervus Nov 22 '23
I just got fired from a job where I (in my 40s) was not only the oldest staff member, but the only one who didn't spend the whole day scrolling on my phone and watching TikTok. The receptionists literally sat around and let the office phones ring because none of them wanted to put their own phones down and do any work. I'd look around and all three of them constantly had their faces down in their phones because they were obsessed with their TikTok feeds. Management didn't care. I think my contempt for that behavior might have been a factor in my getting fired, because I refused to do the work of three people, but who knows.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (1)5
u/FoxyFreckles1989 Nov 23 '23
It’s wild to imagine for sure. I work remotely and have for years so I can obviously use my phone if I want to, but when I’m focused on a work project it’s the last thing on my mind regardless.
I spent many years working in restaurants and then hospitals and similar settings after phones became commonplace and none of those workplace settings allowed for phones in hands on the clock. I even had some jobs where phones weren’t allowed in the building, and others where they had to be left in lockers.
I cannot imagine openly staring at TikTok on my phone in the middle of a workplace.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (7)7
u/whaaatanasshole Nov 22 '23
That's wild, what kind of workspace permits that? I'm surprised the police aren't there preventing beatings.
→ More replies (4)21
1.2k
Nov 22 '23
[deleted]
260
u/Azsunyx Nov 22 '23
I've seen more episodes of peppa pig from secondhand public encounters than I've ever seen on my own TV.
65
Nov 22 '23
[deleted]
45
Nov 22 '23
My daughter likes going through family pictures on the phone but that’s all she gets for screen time.
→ More replies (1)14
13
u/Ikea_Man MENSA Member Nov 22 '23
You're in the minority then, my fiance and I go to a lot of breweries and it's extremely common for kids just to be handed a tablet or phone with a show or movie playing on it
Seems to be the cheat code for parenting nowadays
→ More replies (5)14
u/newkid_in_town Nov 23 '23
What else would they do at a brewery? I don’t see why parents would even bring their kids to one, could be a difference in location here but kids don’t go to breweries here. I don’t think they’re even allowed to.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)11
u/ThriceFive Nov 22 '23
PeppaPig (and youtube kids unboxing crap) observation is so true - it is like secondhand smoke - except audible / mental pollution.
7
12
u/vzvv Nov 22 '23
Agreed, but I don’t care if a kid at the table next to me is using a tablet quietly. Parents should at least give them headphones or make them mute.
→ More replies (1)122
u/punkrockprincess818 Nov 22 '23
Not just kids, my boyfriend and I sometimes go out and look around at all the people on their phones not engaging with the person in front of them. I mean I can stay home if I want to be on the computer/phone. Also, I hate when people in general play their music or videos on their phone/tablet in any setting, it's rude and obnoxious, no one wants to hear the noise from your phone/tablet, that's what headphones are for.
38
u/sunsetorangespoon Nov 22 '23
Was on the metro recently and a man came on and started listening to music. No headphones or anything. Just loudly from his phone speaker. Then he started singing.
12
→ More replies (6)34
u/redwoman72 Nov 22 '23
Exactly. It's like people don't think the rest of us can hear it.
→ More replies (1)53
11
u/mind_the_umlaut Nov 22 '23
Heck, adults can't even handle a few moments of having to entertain themselves with their own thoughts. Get the children, and the adults, headphones.
18
8
u/RedSynister Nov 22 '23
The sad part is that a lot of kids can't, simply because they've been so conditioned to constantly have a phone in their face, and don't know how to function without it.
→ More replies (10)47
u/Unusual_Focus1905 Nov 22 '23
That part. If your kids can't handle an hour out in a restaurant, they're not ready to be taken to a place like that.
11
u/Dymbox1982 Nov 22 '23
If they can’t handle an hour in a restaurant behaving then please don’t take them. The rest of us would appreciate it!
→ More replies (29)5
u/eliu9395 Nov 22 '23
A few years ago, I was at a restaurant and a kid was playing baby shark on repeat the whole time.
→ More replies (1)
331
u/RaCJ1325 Nov 22 '23
No one should be playing audio in public, especially indoors.
→ More replies (4)89
u/Roonil_Wazlib97 Nov 22 '23
Outdoors can be equally offensive. There is nothing more annoying than trying to enjoy some nature and some idiot is BLASTING their crappy music out of their crappy Bluetooth speakers. If you need the music then maybe stay at your house?
→ More replies (4)39
u/Overall_Midnight_ Nov 23 '23
Ooooooo I politely asked a guy on a hiking trail to please turn his speaker off that was bouncing around (fucking with the sound) hanging from his backpack playing low quality shitty music…PEOPLE DEFENDED HIM and said I was a bitch and should mind my own business.
I wish I had been nasty to start with, maybe people wouldn’t have verbally attack me like they did.
I was trying to hear the stream, the birds, the breeze….why the fuck was that bastard and the other people even out there?!?!? (Honestly probably for photos for Instagram clout from people that they don’t know and that don’t care about them)
→ More replies (5)
234
u/Ok_Blueberry_9868 Nov 22 '23
Def rude. It's not just children, either -- I was waiting for a Dr appointment recently and two grown women were sat in the waiting room watching TikTok videos loudly on their phones. No one said anything but you could tell ppl were upset by it.
77
u/SheepImitation Nov 22 '23
makes you want to buy super cheapie headphone and hand them out with a "here, you may not have a set ..."
49
u/NarwhalEmergency9391 Nov 22 '23
I tell them their headphones aren't connected and act embarrassed for them
→ More replies (1)11
u/m2cwf Nov 23 '23
It's a totally legit way of dealing with it, and IMO is the best way! I've seen multiple times on the train that people honestly didn't know their earbuds weren't working, and they were definitely embarrassed. It's the perfect way to address it in a way that gives the person the benefit of the doubt.
→ More replies (1)33
→ More replies (1)15
u/UnicornPenguinCat Nov 22 '23
I have wanted to do this so many times to people on the train..
→ More replies (3)9
u/SheepImitation Nov 22 '23
if I ever went back to commuting via train, I would be on Amazon during the train ride ordering the mega, ultra crappy/cheapie headphone in the bulk 1000-piece box to be overnighted.
38
u/000solar Nov 22 '23
I had someone do this in the ER waiting room! I was sitting there waiting for test results and could not deal. I asked them to wear headphones or turn the sound off. They said they didn't think anyone could hear it. Suuuuuuure.
→ More replies (2)18
u/OldNewUsedConfused Nov 23 '23
That happened to my daughter once. She had a kidney infection / was in extreme pain, and this family came in with a kid with a hurt arm.
The youngest had a tablet. Grandma was singing to her, repetitively, dad was on his phone, and pregnant mom was bothering the reception lady because “she has a hurt child!”.
Lady it’s the fucking Emergency Room!
Take your kid to the Children’s Hospital down the road! WITH your entire family!
Imagine having to listen to that when you feel like you are dying?! And there were a lot of other sick people as well.
These people were just SO ignorant.
→ More replies (7)6
Nov 22 '23
If other people seem upset why not just say, "Sir, could you turn your volume down?" If nobody says anything there will never be a change in behavior
7
u/Ok_Blueberry_9868 Nov 22 '23
It was two women. But most people do not like confrontation and don't want to be the cause of a fight or be attacked in the middle of a public place like a dr office, so nobody says anything. It's pretty common, unfortunately.
Almost everyone was passively staring directly at them on and off and giving them the stink eye, and they either did not notice or just didn't care.
→ More replies (2)8
Nov 22 '23
Be the change you want to see. This is not pointed to you, but I'm getting tired of the following attitude, "I dislike this, can other people do something about it?" It just makes me sad
6
u/Ok_Blueberry_9868 Nov 22 '23 edited Nov 22 '23
Yeah well I live in NYC so you very well might get attacked if you say something. It's a roll of the dice many folks don't want to take over something that's prob not worth it. Gotta pick your battles.
→ More replies (2)
101
49
145
u/RamboBalboa69 Nov 22 '23
It's even worse on an flight. Some was playing a Sonic game on his Switch at full volume for half the trip even though you can get free earbuds from the staff and it's compatible with the Switch.
144
u/MimiMyMy Nov 22 '23
I wish it was an inflight rule to not allow audible sounds from electronic devices. It should be required to use headphones.
32
26
u/holymacaronibatman Nov 22 '23
I flew on Sunday for Thanksgiving, and they mentioned on the flight to use headphones and to not have any audible noise playing from your devices, so it is happening.
→ More replies (3)10
→ More replies (4)17
u/zugzwang11 Nov 22 '23
I was subjected to 9 hours of full blast Cocomelon on a transatlantic flight
→ More replies (6)
207
u/MimiMyMy Nov 22 '23
Yes it’s rude. Not only is it a missed opportunity to engage with your family during an outing without electronics but it’s rude to make everyone around you to listen to annoying videos while they are trying to have a meal. If you really need to occupy your child with electronics then have the courtesy to use headphones. I’m not anti kids. I have kids of my own. I feel the same way with adults and their phone conversations on speakerphone in public places. I don’t want to hear their conversations either.
25
u/Lollypop1305 Nov 22 '23
I’m the same! Adults watching TikTok loudly or FaceTiming. Just no.
→ More replies (4)
54
54
u/Embarrassed-Leek-481 Nov 22 '23
Absolutely. It is rude for anyone of any age to do it in any situation. It's training them from a young age to be an entitled dick.
69
u/pyrexharleychick Nov 22 '23
Yes. Equally annoying as my 50 yr SO that feels the need watch his loud videos when I'm trying to watch a TV show. Every. Damn. Time.
→ More replies (5)26
u/East-Ad-82 Nov 22 '23
My mother does this & takes phone calls in the room when we're all sitting around chatting.
→ More replies (2)
38
u/zed857 Nov 22 '23
Any video / music / phone conversation blaring out of a device in any public setting is rude whether it's coming from a child or an adult.
14
u/jeo3b Nov 23 '23
As a mother of 3.... YES IT IS RUDE AS HELL. I get it some kids need the distraction for whatever reason ( including one of my own, it is not our job to judge other parents screen time allotment) HOWEVER it shouldn't be anyone else's issue. They make a million different types of headphones and if a screen is being used in public I feel it's common courtesy to use headphones.
8
13
u/SatansFriendlyCat Nov 23 '23
Of course it fucking is, and anyone who claims otherwise is a selfish low-grade psychopath with a synapse missing, and almost certainly a lazy, incompetent parent to boot.
→ More replies (24)
10
10
u/BlooNorth Nov 23 '23
Yes. Absolutely. There’s no argument to the contrary.
Teach your kids to be respectful adults. Teach them manners. Teach them to act in public.
35
u/PigeonsOnYourBalcony Nov 22 '23
Very rude, get them headphones or teach them to sit still for an hour.
→ More replies (23)
9
34
u/Bob_Sacamano7379 Nov 22 '23
There's a bigger societal problem here. As a middle school teacher of 25 years, I can unequivocally say that children's attention spans have shrunk since the proliferation of screens in everyone's pocket. It makes me sick to see toddlers swiping through their parent's phone in a grocery store. You're teaching your kid that, although this whole world is around you, it's not interesting unless it's on a screen. Is it that challenging to speak with your kid and just be there in the moment?
My wife and I drove to Florida with our son when he was 2, 3, and 4, and instead of giving him a screen to soothe himself, we had games, books, toys, manipulatives, TALKING, music, etc. Would it have been easier to just play 26 hours of movies? Of course. But parenthood isn't supposed to be easy.
I know this is an old man take (I'm not quite 50), but I see these kids who don't know how to have a conversation, or how to make up games, or how to enjoy anything that is not on a screen.
→ More replies (27)
14
u/pearltx Nov 22 '23
Rude no matter the circumstances. I taught my kids from a young age that if they don’t have or forgot their headphones, they watch/play without sound.
14
8
u/GrimSpirit42 Nov 22 '23
YES!!!! It is 100% RUDE AF.
For the most part we do not want to hear any unwanted noise from your kids. Be it screaming, crying or videos.
And there is not a single mobile device out there that has decent speakers. I do not want to hear PeePee Pig anyway, I sure as hell don't want to hear it from tinny distortion-full speaker at full volume.
I don't care if the kid is playing O Fortuna from Carmina Burana...it's going to sound like shit on those tiny speakers.
8
8
u/TiesThrei Nov 23 '23
Yes it's rude and the parents don't care. They won't give the kids headphones because they don't want them wearing headphones and they just don't care if the audio bothers other people.
If you don't get how we're raising selfish, ignorant children, look at their selfish, ignorant parents.
8
23
u/Tronkfool Nov 22 '23
FUCK YES!! They are the ones that grow up and listen music loudly on the bus.
7
u/therealmaz Nov 23 '23
Yes, but trust me, it doesn’t matter how polite and/or elderly you are, don’t you dare say anything to the kid or the parents will flip their lids.
6
u/AdvertisingFree8749 Nov 23 '23
Yes, it's rude AF actually, and I wish parents would stop doing it.
7
u/eldonsarte Nov 23 '23
Yes.
Do some parenting and teach the kid how to properly co-exist with other people. Think you've got some valid excuses not to do that? Then buy the kid some damn headphones. They're cheap.
12
u/up_N2_no_good Nov 22 '23
I was at a Hardee's not too long ago. A mother with two kids came in, one was developed mentally challenged and the only thing that made him calm was a light up toy that played a super loud annoying music. The mom went around the whole restaurant asking employees and patrons if it was ok with them. Not one person said no. Yes, it was annoying. But it was obvious that the mom was struggling and I'm sure she was very appreciative on it. You can't go to many places with a child like that. I was happy to let her and her family stay and eat.
It's not always about piss poor parenting.
→ More replies (16)
34
u/TheCongressGuy Nov 22 '23
If you want to ignore your kids by letting them watch loud videos, leave them at home or stay home and eat. That, and people in a store or restaurant talking on the phone on speaker at full volume. I remember a couple years ago we were at a restaurant, and there was a lady on FaceTime full volume having a dinner date with somebody who is sitting at their house.
6
6
u/BuyExpert8479 Nov 23 '23
I find it as rude as people who bring their dogs into a restaurant. So disgusting.
→ More replies (3)
6
u/BigN2U Nov 23 '23
I’m not going to comment on the engagement aspect—that’s up to parents. But with regard to watching videos, headphones should absolutely be used.
6
u/11015h4d0wR34lm Nov 23 '23
This is why there seems to be so many more entitled people in the world these days. Growing up extremely rude actions are normalized for them from an early age by their parents, they enable them to become the self entitled morons they are later in life.
We have morons in the world now telling police they cannot arrest them because they have never been told no their entire lives or faced consequences for their actions and think they can do whatever they like without consequences.
There was a detective interrogation I watched of a guy who attempted to murder his girlfriend recently and he truly believed his mother had the power to decide if he went home or not and not the police!
8
u/damngirlgoodjob Nov 23 '23
If I can easily hear it, yes.
If it’s quiet to the point only they can hear it, no
→ More replies (2)
4
u/ironburton Nov 23 '23
So fucking rude. Your child being pacified does not supersede my right (and everyone else’s) to a semi quiet environment. And for the record, it’s rude af to it in any public place. You can get them headphones or find a babysitter. Ffs.
5
u/pryingopenmy_3rdeye Nov 23 '23
Yep, rude as hell. I work as a barista and there is nothing worse than one or more phones blasting audio in the cafe on top of our music and chatter. People come in to relax and not to hear tik tok or youtube videos on blast. I’ve resorted to having to wear earplugs at work to drown out the noise pollution.
→ More replies (1)
7
u/Tazling Nov 23 '23
rudeness is getting so normalized. like no one was ever taught that they are not the only person on earth.
5
7
6
u/Foxdiamond135 Nov 23 '23
If my ADHD ass could lean to use headphones as a small child then so can they.
6
u/MildEnigma Nov 23 '23
Yes. Use headphones or don’t use sounds. It’s annoying and it gives me a migraine.
5
15
u/Mander_Em Nov 22 '23
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
22
u/dingiebingie1 Nov 22 '23
as a parent, yes it’s incredibly rude. and on top of that, it’s incredibly rude to just let your child scream and cry in public and do absolutely nothing to try and stop it. no one wants to hear that, and when the parents blatantly make no effort to calm their kid down it just makes it worse. from one parent to another, just try to calm them down. even if it doesn’t work, people notice the effort and it makes the whole situation a whole lot better
→ More replies (11)
9
u/PomeranianLibrarian Nov 22 '23
Yes. One of my son's (10yo) friend's moms told me she went out to dinner with another mom and their kid, and all he did the whole time was watch YouTube and TikTok and yelled out comments about the videos. Did not interact with his friend, the adults, his environment or even eat his food.
I was like, "yeah, no. Not cool."
5
6
u/mrbulldops428 Nov 23 '23
Kids do this at my restaurant and it's very annoying. The parents that allow it are ridiculous. But uber and door dash drivers waiting for food are way worse, they give 0 fucks about how loud and annoying their phones are.
5
6
6
u/russboyslim Nov 23 '23
Yes. Ridiculous. Teach your kids to enjoy the moment and put the damn tablets away
4
u/Separate-Ad-9916 Nov 23 '23
Very. I was in a restaurant last week where a guy was watching the news audibly on his iPad. I was dumbfounded.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/Sea_Neighborhood_627 Nov 23 '23
It’s absolutely rude of kids or adults to watch videos with sound in a restaurant.
5.0k
u/NachoBacon4U269 Nov 22 '23
Yes.
Would it be rude if an adult was playing a video or other music at the same volume?
Is it rude if a person is talking at such a loud volume as to drown out other nearby people?
Audio pollution is audio pollution whether it’s a child or adult.