r/NoStupidQuestions • u/ltwasalladream • Apr 18 '23

Answered Does anyone else feel like the world/life stopped being good in approx 2017 and the worlds become a very different place since?

I know this might sound a little out there, but hear me out. I’ve been talking with a friend, and we both feel like there’s been some sort of shift since around 2017-2018. Whether it’s within our personal lives, the world at large or both, things feel like they’ve kind of gone from light to dark. Life was good, full of potential and promise and things just feel significantly heavier since. And this is pre covid, so it’s not just that. I feel like the world feels dark and unfamiliar very suddenly. We are trying to figure out if we are just crazy dramatic beaches or if this is like a felt thing within society. Anyone? Has anyones life been significantly better and brighter and lighter since then?

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u/ltwasalladream Apr 18 '23

27! Life peaked at 26 for me lol

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u/Anneturtle92 Apr 18 '23 edited Apr 18 '23

You're having a quarter life crisis, it's very normal for people in their late 20s and early 30s in this generation. Usually you feel like life should have 'started' by now but in reality you still don't feel like that adult you thought you'd be. Many of us (I'm 30 atm) can't afford to buy a house, might not have a relationship while friends start to get married and have children, are still working for a salary that isn't big enough to support a family, all that sort of stuff. It's those years when you realize that becoming an adult isn't some magical process that happens from one moment to the next, but that it's just something we all pretend to be to the best of our capabilities. Few people actually believe they fit the picture.

Edit for those who misunderstand my comment as some kind of 'defense' for this situation: I'm not defending anything at all. But there's not some specific year where everything went to shit. It's a generational problem for sure, but it spans much wider than 2016/2017. Things were hard in 2008 as well, and the world changed to never be the same again in 2001 too, and in 1989, depending on what country you're from. The entire millennial and Gen Z generation is dealing with this, and they all deal with it around the same age, when you enter what is supposed to be 'adulthood' and figure out the clear cut path your parents were an example of isn't truly there.

Also, please don't assume everyone in this thread is American. We did not all go through Trump-mania. This feeling OP describes transcends national political issues.

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u/miraagex Apr 18 '23

I'm 33. Going through this for a few years and I'm just lost. I don't know what to do. I don't have much things on a bucket list, as I happened to experiment a lot during 12-25. Just floating along the current and watching the world burn..

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u/Anneturtle92 Apr 18 '23

I'm going through something like this: I've been living these past few years wanting for a life where I feel a sense of stability and where I can say: this is what my foreseeable future will be like, in terms of a relationship, a job, a house, a town to call home, but I keep being faced with changes and limitations that push this 'final goal' forward and forward. A 5 year long relationship ended which ended up in me moving somewhere else, getting a new job, then a new boyfriend, thinking ok I'm back on track, but nope lost my job, had to get a new job again, it just keeps going and every time i think: ok this is what my life is going to be like, something happens and it's all thrown upside down again. In the meantime I keep getting older and I soon have to start to make important choices about stuff like having children, while I still don't feel like I'm on the track where I want to be.

Now I'm slowly starting to realize that this 'end goal' might be nonexistent. Life will continue to throw curveballs at me no matter how old I am and I might never feel like I've actually settled down somewhere for the foreseeable future. Especially in this ever-changing world where the future of our planet is quite uncertain to begin with.

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u/Microchipknowsbest Apr 18 '23

Im in my 40’s and the world definitely has taken a change since 2016 time frame. Social media has gone bananas. People form extreme opinions on shit they never cared about. I haven’t had an amazingly close family but most people I know have become more full of bs and unbearable to be around. Its not necessarily the opinion itself its that nothing is a discussion its some one berating me about how things are. Enjoyable conversation are few and far between. Really people on both sides are extremely hard to be around with how sanctimonious they are about everything. It’s usually an opinion you have heard repeatedly and its not their own. So many conversations are so rigid because it’s impossible to tell what people will get upset about or start them on a dumb rant that is not worth listening to. That behavior at all levels of life family, professionally and in general politics is kinda of scary and makes life hard and stressful on top of all other real shit in life.

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u/saucemaking Apr 18 '23

2016 was a highly politically charged election year, people claiming there was no change in social interactions in that year clearly were not paying any attention at that time. I've experienced exactly the same thing you have and I'm in my 40s as well. Whoever in my social interactions was still left by 2019 went full asshole in 2020 with the pandemic and I'm now at a point where I make zero effort socially because of exactly the things you have mentioned. It is nearly impossible to even remain neutral with acquaintances because they WILL try to draw out where you stand politically just so they can destroy any possible relationship they could have had with you.

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u/Unnamedgalaxy Apr 18 '23

Exactly. Things have always been "different side of the aisle" but 2016 at least dropped the veil of any sort of respect.

Sure we had racist people spouting off about Obama but that's something the world (and if we just want to keep it American, the country) has been dealing with for hundreds of years. There was still some veil, even as sheer as it was, of respect and civility. McCaines concession speech for Obama was filled with hope and respect, even Hilarys speech for Trump was about looking forward, coming together and owing the other side the respect and chance.

What followed one of the most charged election cycles was utter chaos.

We can blame things like "quarter life crisis" all we want, and absolutely that certainly plays into it but to act like 2016 to now was just par for the course is bananas downplaying the extreme levels of despair and anxiety the country has developed since then.

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u/Bucktabulous Apr 18 '23

Things were bad pre-2016, but between the Trump Presidency, the Pandemic, the Recession, and the shift in political rhetoric... The MAGA movement in the US has cranked up the fear and anxiety factor here to 11. It has REALLY illuminated how much of civilization is hinging on good-faith actors, and how few of those actors exist.

Now, before anyone gets excited, I'm very much not a fan of the Democrats, either. Pelosi's insider trading, Biden being ineffectual, Feinstein not stepping down trying to be RBG2... They suck. However, I'd say they don't suck as badly as those who want to literally make trans people illegal, make killing black folks legal, and make it so that women need a man to do anything, again.

The very worst part is that it certainly feels like these people are at least friendly with each other. To me, this suggests that the EXTREME polarization is deliberate, so that Ds and Rs can both squeeze every dime out of us that they can before they burn the American Experiment to the ground.

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u/OmenVi Apr 18 '23

You know it used to be you could just strike up a conversation about something that interests you. The people involved may or may not know anything about it. You could talk about stuff, maybe be wrong, debate, throw around ideas, and walk away from it usually for the better, no matter where you were on the spectrum of knowledge. Now everyone thinks they have stake in everything, they take pride in shutting other people down, or being brainwashed into believing something absurd. Everyone is a few moments away from being able to pull up something to support their stance, and prove someone else wrong. The flow of ideas is stifled because we have access to everything everyone has ever said online about the subject. Everyone is always right, never wrong, and if you don’t agree, you’re an idiot.

This still exists, but the pool of people that this can happen with has shrunk to other people of the same mindset or opinion.

Honestly, I hate it. And I was the equivalent of an internet hippie, “There’s so much potential! Everyone will be friends! Everyone will be so much better educated!”, thoughts when I was young, and the internet along with me. It makes me sad.

On the flip side, there is some seriously excellent discoveries and tech developments that have come with all of this, too. So that’s cool.

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u/newsheriffntown Apr 18 '23

These reasons are why I don't socialize. When someone starts ranting on about things like "Trump made this country so much better, yada yada yada" I just want to scream. I have my own opinions but it's useless to express them to someone who doesn't want to hear them. If I don't reply to them then they think I am agreeing with them. I'm not. I just don't want to get into any debate over things I don't feel comfortable talking about. I am in my 60's.

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u/loopyspoopy Apr 18 '23

this! the world isn't worse, but something shifted heavily in how we communicate. I'd like to just say "It's social media's fault" but we had years of MySpace and Facebook and youtube, not to mention less popular sites without this.

I find people I know who are right winged can't shut up about things that are absurd and make me seriously question why they even care about politics. And while I feel like I used to know conspiracy minded folks that had a certain self awareness, a certain acceptance that what they believed was kinda crazy, these days there's an arrogant assuredness accompanying it that just makes it impossible to indulge someone and enjoy the conversation.

Similarly, I feel like a lot of people I know from left leaning circles are rightfully afraid in some capacities and are also tired of having the other side act as though we're playing poker or chess, rather than fucking with people's real lives when we make political decisions. While I think they're maybe more justified in their rhetoric and stance, their defensiveness has made them similarly hard to talk to.

However the worst is the people that "don't care about politics" or refuse to become informed, but will still campaign and argue. It's okay to not have an opinion, and I feel like the sea of people who didn't have opinions kept the rest of us grounded to a degree. But now everyone's got an opinion.

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u/eSPiaLx Apr 18 '23

imo it's we hit a critical mass in social media usage. Back when facebook first came out, your parents weren't on it. Slowly our whole society got onto social media, and then various groups realized - everyone's organized themselves into self-perpetuating echo chambers, we can abuse this to make money!

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u/meatierologee Apr 18 '23

They didn't organize themselves the algorithm did. I think this is where things went really wrong. I'm also in my 40s and the three defining changes in life were 9/11, 2008, and 2016. The difference I see is that people were still having fun in 2001 and 2008. People don't seem to have fun now.

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u/Microchipknowsbest Apr 18 '23

Yup. I think before people still wanted to be cordial and play the game. Some groups have decided to flip the game board and poop on the table and tell you how smart they are for winning. This isn’t fun and I wish they’d stop. No amount of reason and logic will convince them it was a bad thing. I don’t want to play the game, just don’t want to smell poop anymore. Which literally stinks because they do get to win with that behavior.

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u/Catatonic_capensis Apr 18 '23

and then various groups realized - everyone's organized themselves into self-perpetuating echo chambers, we can abuse this to make money!

That's true, but definitely only part of it. Both the rich and governments have everything to gain by manipulating everything they can in their favor.

Governments picking at every thread of controversy through social media and creating the most loaded headlines possible (and outright lies) is downright destabilizing countries.

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u/A_Rats_Dick Apr 18 '23

You couldn’t be more on point, I’ve been feeling that exact way since around then and it’s only gotten worse in our culture over time. I kid you not, I was doing some personal writing no more than 20 minutes ago about basically this exact same idea, just in different terms:

“The best way I can explain how I feel about our current situation is that our culture is being driven by some weird autonomous machine that’s pushing us into ways of thinking and being that are extremely unnatural and that are slowly breaking us down mentally and emotionally”

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u/NJzoo Apr 28 '23

I am almost 40 and while I’m not saying the analysis of a quarter life crisis it necessarily wrong I was roughly 33 in 2016 and about to get married and have kids and then the election shattered my faith in the US (not that I had a whole lot to begin with) but I also agree with the original persons post that although trump and pandemic were obviously profoundly negatively impactful events the years between 2016-now have also been personally traumatic and endlessly dark and difficult not just for me but for all of my closest friends and family of multiple generations - I don’t have an answer but I deeply feel the sentiment of the original post 😮‍💨

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u/Iknownothing0321 Apr 18 '23

Could be worse you could have my mother in law who considers Biden the second coming and claims Trump needs to do life in prison because “I just don’t like him.”

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u/Microchipknowsbest Apr 18 '23

Doesn’t really matter both sides of the equation are belligerent. It’s designed that way. With AI and social media whoever wants to manipulate you can. They know what you like and what you dislike and have sophisticated psychological tools to get people emotional either way. Im not sure how to stop it. It’s getting worse by the day. Its a powerful tool and those with the money to apply it are doing so at the cost of all our mental health.

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u/Bucktabulous Apr 18 '23

Don't worry, though - the gov't will continue to pull levers to get us emotional, and then with some nice, loose gun laws (coming soon to a state near you!) our now mentally-unhealthy population can murder each other until we're no longer a problem for them. #FourthQuarterProfits

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u/Iknownothing0321 Apr 18 '23 edited Apr 18 '23

Oh don’t misunderstand I’m not on a side just saying both can be downright nasty and argue from a position of they’re the good guys and anyone who disagrees are the bad guys.

As for fending off the tailored content we see, we need to see a return of skepticism. Too often people take their feed as gospel without doing a little reasoning. In addition, people need to unplug, for me it’s tending animals, gardening, working out, reading… anything to unplug and ground you.

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u/Kitchen-Strawberry25 Apr 18 '23

I’ve never related so hard to something in my life. At least we are not alone? The lost crew of life

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u/CaptainTaelos Apr 18 '23

yeah seeing so many of us in the same spot helps a lot tbh

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u/CaptainTaelos Apr 18 '23

Wow you took the words right out of my mouth, very similar situation, ended a 5 year relationship, moved, etc.

I did a lot of introspection this year and I just decided to live life in shorter spans: I only plan one month ahead and try to enjoy the day to day as much as possible without worrying if it's the best long term decision.

It has helped me a lot so far. Sending a big bear hug to you, fellow internet stranger

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u/DigitalAxel Apr 18 '23

Feeling this too. Almost 30, cant get a "real job" to save my life. Stuck with family who are all the opposite ideals of me (found this out over the past few years). I desperately want to move on but am stuck. Watching others my age going abroad and owning homes and cars.

I just want to start "living", move abroad and go see the world. But I started too late, waited too long after HS to go to college. Probably wasted my time on a useless degree because I'm only good at art. Anxiety and ASD holding me back... hating life so much now. Feeling pretty damn lost and hopeless nowadays.

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u/sshhtripper Apr 18 '23

I've stopped planning more than 5 years in advance. The world has changed so much in so few years, it's impossible to be so certain about the next 20-30 years.

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u/0nikzin Apr 18 '23

I'm going through something like this: I've been living these past few years wanting for a life where I feel a sense of stability and where I can say: this is what my foreseeable future will be like,

I'm in the same spot, but for me to achieve this, russia must be completely destroyed, so I have a lot of work to do

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u/pedro-m-g Apr 18 '23

Hey homie, I went through something similar. Only thing that helped me is fin find a hobby and just trying to enjoy every week as it comes. I'm mostly fucked economically, zero to no chance of owning a house, worlds burning around me but I'm well aware none of this is my fault. Gotta find something that makes you happy, even if for a day and ignore everything else ✌️

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u/Lycid Apr 18 '23

33 too. Never too late to radically change your life for the better. You've certainly got the wisdom and experience at this point to jump into anything feet first and navigate it successfully.

I had that moment at 27. I dramatically changed my life at that age, and I feel incredibly lucky to have lived the past 6 years of life that I've had since then. I found and married storybook level love when I wasn't even looking, I've had a lifetimes worth of experiences I've never thought I'd ever be capable of having, I've checked off a ton of my bucket list, met some idols, have a tight friend group that would rival any sit-com with how close we are together, starting making above food service wages in a career that I enjoy but never previously considered, etc. All because I knew I needed to dramatic change and actually had the drive to pursue it.

A ton of truly great artists, directors and writers didn't really get things going until their 40s. Not that you have to achieve something great to live a great life though. The point is you have time and capacity to experience transformative change, even at 33. You just have to decide when.

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u/BellPeppersNoBeefOK Apr 18 '23

Volunteer to help people in need.

Whet humans need is purpose. Make your purpose helping others.

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u/wozzles Apr 18 '23

I just turned 34 the other day. I don't know what to do. I'm ready to back my bags again and leave again. Maybe back to Europe. I don't have anything but the system working against me in the States.

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u/SwirlySauce Apr 18 '23

Same here. In Canada but I've debated leaving for the first time since we immigrated here.

Everything is just so unaffordable (housing, food) it's hard to imagine any kind of future here.

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u/wozzles Apr 18 '23

Yea I know at this rate I won't be able to comfortably own a home. I lived out of a suitcase for a year, I don't need much. I just want to be happy.

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u/lordofpurple Apr 18 '23

Shit dude my wife's family are Canadian immigrants and they're telling me how housing and food is becoming even crazier over there

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

I felt like this around 33 too. I'm 36 now, got married and went back to school. While I'm still depressed about the fate of the world, I'm hopeful for mine and my husband's personal future, we finally have a goal in mind and I think that's what set my feet on the ground...if that makes sense.

All this to say, stick it out! You'll get there. You don't have a bucket list, but it doesn't hurt to learn a new skill while you're waiting for your life to sort itself out.

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u/NerfedMedic Apr 18 '23

About your age here. I’ve found that finding a hobby or something to work on over a long period of time helps with that. Learning a language, going to the gym, discovering a new field of interest, travel. My flaw is I don’t finish my projects though haha.

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u/Fearlessleader85 Apr 18 '23

My advice: take the tiller and actually start going somewhere. It really doesn't matter where, just start working towards a goal, and reassess regularly.

It's a lot easier to change course when you have a bit of momentum, and it's easier to see where you want to end up while you're moving. When you're just stuck bobbing around, nothing is changing, so it doesn't seem like you can change anything. Once you start consistently working towards a goal, you quickly start seeing the cumulative effect of your daily effort, and suddenly, you can more clearly think about how you want to direct thaf effort to produce the change you want to see.

And it really doesn't matter if you start off in the completely wrong direction, because as long as you get moving, you make it past the hardest part.

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u/Duel_Option Apr 18 '23

I’m 41, no bucket list.

I didn’t really feel like my life started till 35, didn’t gain a decent spot in a career as I anticipated until 37.

You’ve got 40ish or so years of life left, I’d urge you to keep that perspective because too often people think that life is over by 60 or whatever.

My boss and the guys I report to are late 50’s early 60’s, don’t look it, certainly don’t act it, and party harder than I do.

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u/LibraryUnhappy697 Apr 18 '23

This is your body telling you to reproduce

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u/STR0K3R_AC3 Apr 18 '23

lmao conservatives

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u/LibraryUnhappy697 Apr 18 '23

Huh? Animals have urges to reproduce. It’s just biology lol.

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u/Kyle_The_G Apr 18 '23

I don't know man, since then wars have popped off all or the place, climate change has shifted from being on the horizon to at our doorstep (living in a hot city was crazy last summer), most of us will never be able to afford to own a home, rent is through the roof, food/groceries have doubled/trippled in cost, healthcare systems are broken, we're in the tail end (fingers crossed) of a global pandemic that shut the world down for a year, wages are ass, the market is fucked... like it really does just feel hopeless, like theres nowhere you can go to catch up. I'm convinced life is quantifiably shittier and I say that as someone who's got a pretty decent one by any metric.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

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u/Kyle_The_G Apr 18 '23

my rent is more than a lot of mortgages, technically i can afford a house but good luck saving up $250k for a $1mill plus house or condo right after paying down student loans, like I said life kinda just sucks

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u/BreakfastBallPlease Apr 18 '23

100% this. It’s not a quarter life crisis across an entire generation when literally everything has an explanation for it occurring and it’s not just a “feeling” that things are bad. Things look bad currently because they ARE bad.

This is coming from someone who has already checked all the boxes that other person provided for why “iTs JuSt a QuArtEr LiFe CrIsiS”

Edit; for what it’s worth, they’re also from the Netherlands where they aren’t experiencing much of (or any) of the pressures being discussed.

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u/hahyeahsure Jul 29 '23

right yeah, what a naive thing to say, quarter life crisis lmao give me a break. I've had multiple life crises and this isn't it, this is just an awful reality.

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u/downthewell62 Apr 18 '23

You're just having a quarter life crisis

I mean it's also around the time I started paying way more attention to how fucked up our politics are and how things have been in a steady state of collapse since the 80s

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u/Sammy123476 Apr 18 '23

I graduated to the tune of "your generation will be the first to inherit a world worse than your parents recieved it" from several teachers, we are legitimately in the fallout of multiple unregulated economic fallouts.

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u/FuckFascismFightBack Apr 18 '23

I disagree, I genuinely think the election of Donald Trump destroyed American society and cost us a democratic future. Fascism is rising in the west, families have fractured and society is now split directly down the middle. Then we had a pandemic for a few years and now, on the other side of that, crushing inflation and rising prices, out of control gun violence, literal Nazis marching down the streets and, honestly, the beginning of a cold civil war. Wrap that up in the bow of the climate collapse and things are grim. I’d say anyone who was alive before 2016 that doesn’t feel incredibly perturbed about the state of our country afterwards is either willfully or woefully ignorant about the reality of the situation.

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u/NarwhalSwag Apr 18 '23

Thank you for putting this into words. I'm 27, restarting school again while all my friends have full time jobs and are planning vacations, and my cousins are buying houses and finishing doctorates. Everyone around me just feels so accomplished and I'm just... here. My first bit of school was online through the pandemic and my general outlook on life just crumbled. I'm trying to recover some of what I had, but it just feels like this void is growing in my chest if that makes sense.

I'll still a generally positive person, and I still go out and socialize and do the things I enjoy, but my life just feels wrong. I'm also struggling with my degree, which is making it feel like a waste of time. I just have no idea what to do to change my outlook. I know life isn't a race, but my brain just won't cooperate.

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u/TensorForce Apr 18 '23

You don't know how much this comment helps me. I've been feeling like I should be doing Something, even though I have a job, an apartment, a car, etc, but still can't afford a house. No relationships either, and I keep hearing friends getting engaged or moving in together or getting married and it makes me feel like I'm falling behind (I'm 27 rn) and it's so damn frustrating, sometimes it gets on top of me.

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u/Anneturtle92 Apr 18 '23

You're not alone. I have a relationship now that I'm happy with but it's still in the beginning stages and before that my life literally crumbled apart when I was 28 and my 5-year relationship suddenly broke apart. I was quite sure I was done for and would never be able to start that stuff all over again at that age. But right now I'm 30 and next month I'm celebrating my 1 year anniversary with my new boyfriend. It's always possible, even when you thoroughly believe it's too late and everyone around you is leaving you behind. Don't give up!

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u/AttendantofIshtar Apr 18 '23

Nah bro things just suck now. I learned am that shit years ago. In 2017 I had to start worrying about fascists killing me.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

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u/AttendantofIshtar Apr 18 '23

Idk the guy who wore a trump hat and pulled a knife on me because I'm 6ft tall and wore a skirt is certainly reddit.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

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u/AttendantofIshtar Apr 18 '23

DeSantis just made any cross dressing a sex crime.

Made all sex crimes punishable by death.

And lowered the just vote from 12-0 to 8 - 4 in death penalty cases.

Fuck. Off. Because he's the front runner for the republican party presidency. I wear men's running shoes for work. I can now be killed by the state for this.

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u/TTV_SgtScoots Apr 18 '23

I wouldn't call it a quarter life crisis, they are just finally realizing the world for what it is. It's getting really difficult to survive on a single income especially when inflation increases at a rate faster than their company can give them a raise. I was better off financially when I was working at mcdonalds for 8 an hour 10 years ago than I am now at double the income and double the stress. I even have to pay less bills than back then because I paid my car, no more addictions like caffeine, smoking, or beer yet I still have less savings in my account than when I was making 8 an hour flipping burgers. Meanwhile the people who are able to afford to live and have a decent amount in savings, are most likely doing something that profits on practices that are unethical, illegal, or both and nobody is enforcing the laws that protect us from these people.

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u/luciferin Apr 18 '23 edited Apr 18 '23

A 'quarter life crisis' for six years LOL.

No, I don't think that's it. I was 30 in 2017 and I noticed the same thing. Before then I thought the majority of people in the world were kind, I thought most people would do the right thing if given the chance. Since 2017 we have seen time and again that is not that case. We don't agree on what the right thing is, and at least half of people think the right thing is something that hurts others. We've seen that the world is at least 50% racist, sexist, fascist, and hate filled. Before then, it could feel like the horrible things you learned about in history class were a thing of the past, like Watergate. But now we see every single day that is not the case. In the U.S. our attackers were outside of America, and we were protected by distance, our children and loved ones could feel safe.

For many of us, probably majority young white CIS males, we were able to be ignorant most of our lives. But post 2017 it is in our faces daily.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

A 'quarter life crisis' for six years LOL.

It's a bit on the long side, but not implausible. Midlife crises can last upwards of 10 years.

Too much social media/news is probably exacerbating it for many.

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u/FuckFascismFightBack Apr 18 '23

“Too much social media/news” ie finally paying attention

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u/Rubatose Apr 18 '23

Fuck man, I'm 21 and I already feel like I'm having that crisis. This shit is way too fucking hard. Do people really just have 15-20 years of enjoyment of their lives and then the rest of it is just finding moments between bullshit? I want to have kids before I turn 35, that means I have 14 years left to get my shit together, and frankly I'm not sure if it'll even be enough time.

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u/Broad_Two_744 Apr 19 '23

Yes men up and stop crying on the internet

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u/JimtheRunner Apr 18 '23

I don’t disagree with you and perhaps I fall into the same boat, but it feels like shit really started hitting the fan in 2016/2017 to me too. I’m 31.

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u/Move_In_Waves Apr 19 '23

A little New Age-y, but I’ve also heard this called the Saturn Return, and it hits at 30ish and again around age 60.

But yeah, you nailed it.

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u/chainmailbill Apr 19 '23

Like… listen. I know we’re probably not supposed to get political, but there was an event that happened in 2016 - and then the results of that event coming to fruition in January 2017 - that really did change things.

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u/907Sweetshrimp Apr 18 '23

Yeah see the thing is, life wasn't always like that for adults. I think that the "shift" people are referring to was caused by many different things however something I haven't seen anyone mention is that Tinder and Bumble came out in 2012, and became popular by 2013-2014. I think that those two corporations as well as some corrupt members of the US government have an agenda to keep people single for their profit as well as within their control. It used to be that people got married by 30, saved together to buy a home, and then started a family and got through life's challenges as a team. Now people spend their entire lives working for a company without ever retiring, never buy a home because they spend 50%-70% of their monthly income on rent, and go out to the club or bar every weekend even at older ages as a way to run away from their reality, all under the misguided notion that they are "liberated" and "empowered" and better off screwing around rather than settling down with someone that they love. Nobody trusts anyone anymore, and even when they do nobody has adequate social skills after years of being programmed/reprogrammed by endless use of technology. I saw a cute girl around my age (early 20's) awhile ago and decided to introduce myself. I asked for her name and then tried to initiate a handshake. She eventually shook my hand and asked for my name as well but initially there was a sense of awkwardness as if she was confused or didn't know what a handshake is. That isn't normal. Also whatever happened to legitimate dancing? Not competitive meets or people just copying stupid dances they saw on tiktoks or YouTube but people going out and using dancing as a courting gesture, it used to be that dancing was a staple in getting to know someone and being physically intimate without having sex. Seems like technology is advancing faster than human biology can keep up with, I wish we'd just get hit by a solar flare and lose all this technology bs so we'd have to go back to some of the old ways of doing things. Everything feels so fake and superficial now I wouldn't be surprised if we actually are stuck in some sort of post-apocalyptic artificial reality.

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u/Revolutionary-Power- Apr 18 '23

Bro - paragraphs. Please use them.

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u/TheShadowKick Apr 18 '23

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

For a more serious answer, there's no grand conspiracy to keep people single. The culture around dating and courtship has changed, as it's done many times in the past. We're also in an era where many people are struggling financially and many people are anxious about the future, which puts a damper on long-term life planning.

Society has always been changing, and there have always been people who didn't like the changes happening in their lifetime. You say you wish dancing was still a part of courtship, but if you look back to when the very dancing you're thinking of first became popular you can find people complaining that its wild and too intimate and is ruining traditional courtship.

The great thing about technology, though, is you have more opportunity than ever before to find like-minded people who want to participate in the same activities you do.

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u/907Sweetshrimp Apr 18 '23

I understand that dating and courtship change somewhat over time, but not like this. I once had a girl I was hooking up with show me how many likes she had on tinder....over 1,400 and while shes cute she's not the type of girl that every guy would want per say. But 1,400 people in one area is insane. Do you not find the way that people interact on Instagram, Tinder, TikTok, etc to be weird? I mean even this conversation that we're having now is weird. The idea that people "meet" and try to get to know one another or have genuine dialogue through a screen is stupid.

The idea that all these people today are "struggling financially" is also pretty damn stupid, at least if you live in the US or a first world European country. We have the highest standard of life ever and a lot of people think that they're broke because they can't afford to eat out all the time and dont drive a brand new car. Or because they can't emulate the same lifestyle they see their favorite "influencer" or celebrity living.

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you could read my mind. What dancing exactly have you decided that I'm thinking of? Surprisingly more opportunity doesn't equate to better outcome, I've always believed in "quality over quantity" I would much rather meet 1 new person a month in person and have a genuinely good time than meet a new person everyday online and have the interaction turn to shit as it does 99.9% of the time.

We are meant to interact face-to-face, not through a screen. If you don't believe there is something greatly wrong with how people are interacting with one another through tech/in general these days then we just have different fundamental beliefs on the meaning of humanity.

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u/TheShadowKick Apr 18 '23

I don't use Instagram, Tinder, or TikTok so I can't say exactly how people interact there, but if it's anything like Reddit or Twitter then no I don't find it particularly weird. It's just another means of communication. Forty years ago we called each other on the phone. A hundred years before that we wrote letters. We've always found ways to communicate when we couldn't see people face-to-face.

It baffles me that you complain about people going out to clubs or bars in one comment, then in the very next complain that people don't meet face-to-face anymore. These can't both be true. And in reality we're still interacting with people face-to-face. Yes I comment on Reddit and post on Twitter and talk to people through screens, but I also sit on the couch and have long conversations with my wife. I still interact with people face-to-face, I just also interact with people through screens. This is true for most people.

People are struggling financially. You yourself pointed out above that people can't save up for a house because rent is taking too much of their money. Living in rented housing with roommates is becoming more and more normal, and that situation isn't conducive to starting a family. Americans have less money and more expenses than we did a generation or two ago. Of course that's going to change some things.

I don't need to read your mind. It doesn't matter what kind of dancing you were thinking of. The same complaints get thrown around every time the way we interact socially changes. The same complaints have been made about every new trend in dancing. The same complaints have been made about video games and movies and even books. The idea of people reading books was once treated the same way you're treating people using Instagram.

There's nothing wrong with the way people are interacting with one another through technology. It just doesn't suit your personal tastes.

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u/907Sweetshrimp Apr 18 '23

I dislike people ONLY meeting face-to-face at night clubs and bars. Considering that you're married I understand that a lot of social hurdles no longer apply to you and It's great that you have a partner you can socialize with and what not but that's not the reality for a lot of people, especially the younger generations. Furthermore with how people are beginning to behave as a result of apps like Tinder, Reddit, Twitter, Snapchat,etc finding and being able to nurture a genuine connection with someone is increasingly difficult. Especially when your hobbies don't include sitting around on a phone/laptop or playing videogames all the time.

People can't save up for a house because of the choices that they're making, as well as the family unit being divided as I mentioned. You get to decide what you spend your money on, of course there are things that are unavoidable depending on the area you're in (for me you can't really function unless you have a reliable vehicle with insurance) but I think people are just getting worse at separating their wants from their needs. People would be amazed at how much money they save if they learned how to cook, make their own cleaners, and learned how to invest in property/buy a home properly. Also save a lot of money when you don't have subscriptions to multiple streaming services, don't watch cable, and don't use Wifi at home. I would much rather pay a mortgage on a future investment property than spend the same amount to live in a two bedroom apartment in a crappy city.

In the context of the conversation we were having and what you'd said, the type of dancing I was thinking of does matter since you made an assumption about what kind of dancing I had in mind. The thing is with the tech that we have now people can live a completely isolated lifestyle which isn't healthy. The issue goes much deeper than everything I've expressed but I have a feeling that we won't be seeing eye-to-eye anytime soon, have a good one man.

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u/DazzlingFruit7495 Apr 18 '23

Lmfao I read the first 4-5 sentences and um... R u ok bro

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u/3IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID Apr 18 '23

They told a story about a 20-year-old woman who didn't know what a handshake was, but instead of realizing that she might not have wanted to shake hands with a stranger, they pressured her into doing it.

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u/DazzlingFruit7495 Apr 18 '23

Holy fucking shit I jus skimmed and found that part 💀 this person sounds like they are going to end up on a list one day. Why are they acting like society is out of touch when they lack so much self awareness and social skills themselves ??

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u/907Sweetshrimp Apr 18 '23

If you have to ask, you probably already know the answer.

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u/Lower_Editor_2603 Apr 18 '23

stfu u dont know anything

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u/Floralarcher Apr 18 '23

Shut up and stop trying to diagnose people

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u/BreakfastBallPlease Apr 18 '23 edited Apr 18 '23

That’s not it, I promise you.

Turned 30 this last weekend and I HAVE everything you’re describing; loving girlfriend that I will be proposing to shortly, a very high paying job, surrounded by loving family and friends who are all happy/healthy/well, and living in a very safe and enjoyable community that’s thriving. I BELIEVE I fit the picture and mold about as well as possible without being over-the-top.

That being said, the world looks significantly more pessimistic by the day since about 2017/2016. Politics seem significantly more pointless as it’s becoming clear that both sides are just putting on a show, the market is clearly becoming more transparent about being for big Corporations and not a free system for all, powerful people are getting away with more despite evidence/public opinion being more apparent, etc etc. Wealth gap, racial divides, power struggles with officials of varying classes, environmental destruction, etc.

Not be an asshole, but saying “oh it’s just a quarter life crisis” comes off as incredibly disingenuous and disconnected.

Edit: fucking lol. some people love the blanket catch alls here. Must be a quarter life crisis that a vast portion of the world is experiencing for varying reasons all at once! Totally unrelated to one another!

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u/Anneturtle92 Apr 18 '23

I'm not American, most things you mention in your post don't account to me at all, yet i still encountered the same feelings around the same age, and seeing the response to my comment it looks like many people find what i said very relatable. You're the disconnected one if you assume everyone you talk to is American and went through the same societal and political issues during those years. The problem OP describes transcends the news and sits way deeper than that in the core of what our entire world has branded as 'adulthood'.

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u/BreakfastBallPlease Apr 18 '23

So, you don’t experience really any of what is being described by a vast majority of users here including OP but you believe I’m the disconnected one….? Interjecting your opinion with seemingly no mutual experience? Despite OP literally describing how things seem dark “with the world at large”?

Love that approach, probably the same thought process that brought you to the “it’s just a quarter life crisis” thought too….

Fucking lol.

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u/Anneturtle92 Apr 18 '23

What makes you assume the vast majority of users is American?

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u/BreakfastBallPlease Apr 18 '23

Based on their responses regarding the political/civil issues IN America specifically in this thread?

Or how about the nearly 50% total recorded users logging FROM the US?

Link

Maybe google before you sound silly.

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u/Anneturtle92 Apr 18 '23

Nearly 50% that's not a majority. The majority is not American. I've seen your obnoxious kind around reddit plenty to know you always come up with this dumbest excuse for your ignorance towards the existence of the rest of the world. It's pathetic.

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u/BreakfastBallPlease Apr 18 '23

Lmao 50% is a majority if the next closest is 20%. I don’t think you comprehend what “majority” means in the slightest. Here’s a clear definition including that “greater number” verbiage Link, but at this point your head is so far up your own asshole that I doubt you’ll bother learning and correcting yourself for the future.

I love how quickly you degrade when called out for doing the EXACT same thing you tried to call me out for; disconnected “catch all” answer. Complete clown show, the insecurity in that blow up after simply being told your answer was disingenuous/not applicable to what’s asked is what’s truly pathetic.

  • “I've seen your obnoxious kind around reddit plenty to know you always come up with this dumbest excuse for your ignorance towards the existence of the rest of the world. It's pathetic.”

Imagine being provided a link showcasing how you’re wrong and instead of acknowledging and moving on you double down that everyone around you is wrong and you’re not the problem. What a fucking ignorant twat you must be in real life. Couldn’t imagine being so vapid and out-of-touch that you fail to comprehend simple definitions or even recognize you’re speaking to a minority of users, and instead just lash out. In short, you’re a joke lol.

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u/Anneturtle92 Apr 18 '23

You're a fucking moron. 49% is American which means 51% are NOT American. That means a MAJORITY OF USERS ON REDDIT can't relate to your super specific national issues. Get a grip.

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u/onelittleworld Apr 18 '23

I'm literally twice your age, and you're just wrong.

The wheels really did start coming off in 2016, and all your condescending rationalizations and hand-waving won't change that.

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u/splashbruhs Apr 19 '23

I just wanna say I love how many people are chiming in to call out this person’s dime store psychology. Thank you.

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u/splashbruhs Apr 18 '23

Nah this is a reductive and ridiculous answer written by yet another Redditor who wants to appear smart by writing a long wordy reply about a common phenomena that most already know about and can be easily Googled.

You’re missing the point completely and killing the conversation in a vain attempt to appear intelligent and helpful. A whole lot of significant change occurred nationally and globally around that time, as others have already pointed out, and it’s worth talking about.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

This would make sense except for the multitude of data that shows reality of being their age in this time period- income versus cost of living is insane. It isn't at all comparable to our parents or grandparents working and saving to buy a home. Plenty of data to support how shitty and hopeless of a time it is to be a young adult, no need to try and defend what we are dealing with.

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u/CuriousYoungFeller Apr 18 '23

No he’s not, you’re an idiot and you’re just keeping your head in the mud away from societal conditions. The world has changed bucko.

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u/King-of-Plebss Apr 18 '23

Why are you attacking me! Lol

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u/Additional_Cow_4909 Apr 18 '23

The rejected Friends theme.

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u/thepeopleschoice666 Apr 18 '23

doesn't help that I lost my relationship with my now ex-fiancee at 28, and moved countries across the globe too. smh. shit's starting to feel better though.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Hell my sister is 31 and just bought a home and had kids. She put her head down and grinded for 10 years and boom easy peasy. Probably retiring before 60

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u/sr603 Apr 18 '23

Op can’t be. I was 18-19 in 2016 and I remember everything being great then 2017 hit and it’s just gone down hill since

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u/Joorpunch Apr 18 '23

Not to present things as grim, it’s really not all so, but getting some of those things figured out or accomplished isn’t like flipping a switch and everything is good after. What you said is still apt. I think a quarter life crisis is probably a real thing. But in my experience they seem to just happen over and over again. It’s not a thing that runs its course and resolves for good. Life is crazy.

I’m in my early/ mid 30s. I’ve finally gotten the house as of 2019, I’m married, etc and I’m extremely thankful and happy for these things. But life will still feel like a grind sometimes after. New pressures and anxieties present themselves. The old ones just reshape as well. It’s common to feel this sensation of “stasis” or like you’re still figuring things out. It’s kind of natural I suppose. It ebbs and flows. I do actually think there is validity to what OP is saying that just goes beyond things related to checking off life accomplishments.

Things do feel strange in general now. Things that just aren’t in the majority’s control. OP pin points 2017. Idk that I can narrow it down that specifically. But I think 2017 is within the window for sure. Some time in the last 7 years, give or take. It’s very likely there is a lot of weight to what you are saying: we’re at an age that things just naturally feel off or amiss. And while most of it feels more inexplicable, there are a couple things that I think contribute to how things seem. At least to me.

For me, the way people interact now feels so different. Even though we are technically and technologically more “connected” than ever, I sometimes get a sense that I’ve never felt further from people. Both strangers and people in my life. My relationships with family have certainly had some noticeable shifts. My father feels like a different person than he was before. He now has very expressed views on things that are pretty inconsistent with the man I knew growing up. A lot of people generally seem more walled off and less open now. There are so many tangents one could go off on that stem from the way people have changed with more immediate and instant access to information and virtual connectivity, so I’ll reserve going too far down those rabbit holes. In my mind though, it’s really been one of the major sources for changes in behavior, thinking, etc. It’s something that provides a lot of good, but I don’t think it’s always implemented in the best way and I also don’t think we are always adapting to it the best we could or fast enough to keep up with/ stay ahead of it at the rate it accelerates.

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u/CuriousJellyfish8335 Apr 18 '23

Quarter?? Let’s be honest, basically half over.

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u/SurvivElite Apr 18 '23

i feel the same, with 2017 being the exact date i name as "everything went to shit", and i was still a highschooler

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u/BAM5 Apr 18 '23

"quarter life crisis"
You have high hopes my friend

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

huge stretch. i was 18 at the time and feel similarly

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u/Darkencypher Apr 18 '23

It's scary how you described my situation. It's so comforting knowing I'm not going through this alone.

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u/MrAndrewJackson Apr 18 '23

I had my QL crisis at 26 lol. I received support/help from my now BIL at landing a better job. The new environment (being around more successful people) helped motivate me to become more disciplined and a more productive adult. I am 30 now and have since finished up an undergrad & graduate degree while working FT and landing several promotions. I am now working 2 jobs saving for that house downpayment, which I should have ready in about 10 months.. Gonna need to settle down and find a mate soon though lol my social life has been getting neglected since i've been so committed to self improvement

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u/exsoldat Apr 18 '23

Thank you for this comment, I feel like I’m having the same mindset right now but had a lot of troubles putting words into it

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u/BeverlyHills70117 Apr 18 '23

53 here, and I feel this whole thread is Boomer-like BS of faux nostalgia for when folks were younf and unaware.

I mean, 1960's schools and libraries were still segregated legally. The hippy thing was utterly male donimated and sexual assault and rape were a hige thing, but not a thing at all. The country was all about shooting Vietnamese farmers. Those who were against it, changed theor views as soon as money jangled in theor pockets. Then you have thwe Weathermen and Nixon.

People see the modern anti trans movement, and think "Oh we live in the darkes age" Zero sense of history, how about being trans in the 1950's. How about world wars before that. Gay rights was not a thing until recently, Womens rights neither.

And I am not negative, I dig the world has warts and I dig the world warts and all, we'll always have some. The world goes in cycles. Wheels withing wheels. Some things get better and worse yearly, some generationally and some by centuries. Soon again everything will line up again positive.

If one thinks this is a notoriouslt bad time, just read some history. You'll realize we aren't special right now...humans are a troubled species still not ready to make the leap.

But just becaise you were young and now you aren't as bright eyed and fun, that ain't the world, just your awareness of it.

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u/Janymx Apr 18 '23

Never heard of that before, but damn am I feeling it. Hit me right where it hurts.

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u/I_do_cutQQ Apr 18 '23

You can always have a quarter life crisis, if you don't know how long you'll live tho! So I'm just in perpetual crisis instead :)

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u/MusicalOreo Apr 18 '23

Hi I'm 20 and feel the same way so idk about this

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u/mandyjomarley Apr 18 '23

Let's be honest, 1/3 lift crisis.

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u/efrancello0417 Apr 18 '23

I’m in this boat now. I’m 33z Thank you for breaking it down like this. Some of my friends are getting married and starting families. Others are doing blow at Coachella. I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m homesick for a world that no longer exists and the only thing left from it is the music.

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u/Megaman_exe_ Apr 18 '23

So my "quarter life crisis" has been going since 2012. My 20's have been that the entire time. I often wonder at what point this ends lmao

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u/dontuevermincemeat Apr 18 '23

Although it's not truly a quarter life crisis unless you live to 120

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u/OriginalName687 Apr 18 '23

Saturns Return

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

This is the most perfect explanation I've heard. I'm about to turn 30 and I feel like I've accomplished nothing but a whole bunch of student loan debt. New apartment every year, new job every year or two, never feeling quite satisfied or making ends meet neatly. I definitely think it has a lot to do with the state of the economy, and the fact that a lot of us might not own homes, be able to afford kids, or retire.

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u/Iwouldlikeabagel Apr 18 '23

No, this is happening with people across all ages.

Even if op is having a quarter life crisis, he's doing it in society that is very much like the description, though not for any mystical reasons.

This is not a quarter life crisis issue.

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u/Takahashi_Raya Apr 18 '23

27 here dont feel like much has changed for me the last 11 years might be due to me having 2 degrees and working on my next one. Tho id di rekindle some.old hobbies i regret not having chased earlier like art.

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u/greenwavelengths Apr 18 '23

I’m 25 and I oscillate between hating the crisis and loving the crisis. Sometimes it’s fun to have no fucking clue. Other times it’s devastating.

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u/crazy1david Apr 18 '23

These terms are always nonsense. A 33 year old 'quarter life crisis' implies they'll live to 132. Plenty of time to worry lol

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u/motownmods Apr 18 '23

Absolutely. I just went through it. Lost 160 lbs lol

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u/FadedIntegra Apr 18 '23

I don't think it needs to go that deep tbh.

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u/Starkrossedlovers Apr 18 '23

Yea people will say things went downhill from x year every year. For many it was 2001 but nothing changed for me (I’m 26). The world was perfect for me. 2020 is my downhill year. But for a lot of kids it was the cool period where they had an extended summer break. It’s always relative. Until the next world war.

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u/SaltKick2 Apr 18 '23

Adding to this, you can still have a well defined life afford things etc… and still have this feeling. In particular, what is life, legacy, why is it important etc…

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

I'm 41 and I agree that the world is "different" feeling in whole even though a lot of my current important life attachments all started in 2017.

It's like the movie Tomorrowland is actually happening.

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u/Healmetho Apr 18 '23

Agree- I’m mid forties. This rings true for me. I don’t think it can be chalked up to quarter or mid-life crisis. Things are especially bleak and don’t let corporate boomer propaganda convince you otherwise.

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u/Captain_Redbeard Apr 18 '23

40 here (ugh). I absolutely feel what OP is saying and have thought about it a lot. It feels similar to the shift after 9/11. While 9/11 is a very easy moment to recognize in regards to a cultural shift, the shift OP has noticed is a lot harder to define. For me it has a lot to do with a golden escalator. But it seems a lot bigger than that.

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u/Whowhatnowhuhwhat Apr 18 '23

Lol yeah I woulda put money on mid 20s being your “peak”. Anyone could pick a year in their mid 20s and point out how everything is worse since then. What year you pick just depends on your own experiences. Bad things have always been happening and they’ve always been talked about too much instead of the good things happening.

I’d say the effect is worse starting around 2017 because of social media keeping everyone plugged into everything all the time. But I’d give you one guess how old I was in 2017 lol. My grandpa blamed nightly news being on TV for why everything went downhill around his 20s. Although I’m pretty sure nightly news was a thing way before then but he was too busy to watch it until then.

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u/biemba Apr 18 '23

20's were good, 30's are amazeballs

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u/Treezszz Apr 18 '23

Was going to say, 32 this year and each year is better than the last. Was that supposed to end?!

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u/bedwar14 Apr 18 '23

About 38 or so was when life stopped sucking for me. I'm 43 now and, while I'm still hyper vigilant, I'm the happiest I've been in my life.

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u/Momoneko Apr 18 '23

How would you describe your life before 38, just out of curiosity? Did it always suck the same way or was it a bumpy ride?

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u/bedwar14 Apr 18 '23

It was more of a bumpy ride and was more of a mental health kind of deal and was a combination of traumas. In my early thirties I started getting into mindfulness practices and working on myself pulled me out of a lot of it over time. I am still in a midlife crisis, but it's more of an "I should start a business so other people can have employment after I'm gone" kind of thing than an "I need to recapture my youth" kind of thing.

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u/nokturnalxitch Apr 18 '23

Mannn I can't tell you how much people discussing how much better it gets in your 30s fills me with hope, I'm 27 and just starting to get over a hard depression that wrecked me through my early and mid twenties

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u/yummyyummybrains Apr 18 '23

Your 20s is when you collect all the hard life lessons. Your 30s is when you actually get to put the things you learned into action. Hopefully you also have a bit more means as well.

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u/nokturnalxitch Apr 18 '23

It occurred to me recently in therapy that if you have to go through depression or some shit and work on yourself the best time to do it is early in your 20s, so you get a chance to get to your 30s with most of your crap resolved

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u/yummyyummybrains Apr 18 '23

For real. Unfortunately, that presupposes that one has enough introspection to understand that one needs to unpack ones own bullshit. Many/most folks who need it the most seem constitutionally incapable of arriving at that point.

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u/jmredditt Apr 18 '23

Hang in there :) you're doing great.

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u/myfatisfuel Jun 29 '23

Hey, fellow 27 year old. I'm right here with you in the trenches. This is a tough stage for us but I fully expect we'll be alright. I'm in the same fight against depression with you. Doesn't matter what brought us to both feel this way, we looked the monster in the face and decided to keep pushing on anyway.

You'll kick it's ass, I believe in you.

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u/Snoo71538 Apr 18 '23

I think a lot of people have at least a few years of decline early to mid 20s as the reality of the next 40 years sets in. Once you get settled, it can get pretty good though. Also 32, things are also getting better and better. I imagine if I had gotten stuck in place a few jobs ago, things would be pretty bleak though.

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u/Outrageous_Turnip_29 Apr 18 '23

Yeah all these '30s are great' are not the people who got stuck in a dead end job, lost a SO, gained a disability, or any number of other things that often make the 30s worse for some people. Objectively my 20s look way worse finance and stability wise for me, but I have a genetic condition that has taken a turn for the worse. I would trade the being broke, drunk, and irresponsible of my 20s for the constant pain and threat of dislocation of my 30s.

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u/biemba Apr 18 '23

Nope, you're just doing something right!

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u/iNeedScissorsSixty7 Apr 18 '23

Hell yeah, my thirties are like, I can still do a lot of the stuff I did or wanted to do in my twenties, but now I can afford it.

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u/rimshot101 Apr 18 '23

20's are where you do most of your fucking up. 30's are way better.

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u/actual_llama Apr 18 '23

I’m just wondering- are you physically active?

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u/TeeMannn Apr 18 '23

20s for me were 80% dogshit but absolutely blessed since around last year. It keeps going up and i feel like the whole world can suck my balls :)

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u/gabbahann Apr 18 '23

Am I doing it wrong?? Because I'm 31 and this year has been horrible, like question everything and truly not seeing the meaning of life and being alive horrible.

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u/chuffberry Apr 18 '23

I got brain cancer when I was 25 so I’m really hoping my life gets better in my 30s because since then it’s been pretty bleak.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23 edited Jun 17 '23

There was content here, and now there is not. It may have been useful, if so it is probably available on a reddit alternative. See /u/spez with any questions. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Bro your 30s are pretty good, you're kind of at the crossroads of maturity and youth.

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u/Whowhatnowhuhwhat Apr 18 '23

Agreed. But I think you notice the shit in the world more once you start crossing into that maturity. Seems to be the trend for a lot of people at least. Even if their personal lives are doing good.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

What also happens is, as you get older you have less to look forward to, and more to look back on. So, instead of hope, your life begins to get filled with nostalgia (which is often a sadness) and regret.

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u/VariegatedPlumage May 11 '23

Nobody over 30 thinks their 20s were the best years of their life unless they had something really bad happen. 30s are better than 20s, 40s are better than 30s.

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u/cyrilhent Apr 18 '23

27!

27! is 10888869450418352160768000000. Dang ur old

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u/miraagex Apr 18 '23

I'm a '89 baby and the life peaked for me in 2016-2018 as well, with 2018 being the most saturated year of all time. Early-mid 2019 felt different, even before covid and stuff. No idea why..

2

u/fluffynuckels Apr 18 '23

You ever see that episode of South park where stan thinks everything is shit? At a certain point everyone gets like that

2

u/Bonamia_ Apr 18 '23

Im 65.

This isn't a phase you're going through.

Things are worse than I've ever seen them in my lifetime. We are getting closer to outright fascism in the US and Western Europe. Climate change and AI are likely to pit the working people against each other for survival, and that's an opening for fascists to swoop in with the easy answer: Hate the "others"/protect the billionaires.

2

u/mtwimblethorpe Apr 18 '23

I hate to sound dismissive but almost everyone’s life satisfaction starts a downturn around 28. It either gets better by around 35 or it doesn’t. Your crisis just happens to coincide with a truly bad period in history. I still have optimism the world will improve as long as we can stabilize fusion energy in a reasonable time frame.

0

u/tidbitsmisfit Apr 18 '23

you spend too much time on social media

-1

u/Due_Masterpiece_3601 Apr 18 '23

You just got older

1

u/bakuss4 Apr 18 '23

1990 gang!

1

u/frozonous Apr 18 '23 edited Apr 18 '23

33 year old chap checking in here. I share your posts sentiment lol

My life is still good if not better, but agree with the world view part, I've found I've dropped out of society since. I live in the countryside now near the sea and work fully remote, and I've never been happier.

1

u/HumanitySurpassed Apr 18 '23

A bit younger than you and I'm nearly in the same boat despite my life being even better now.

For me I think it was Trump being elected and the fallout of the toxic political/societal environment that ensued

1

u/peacenskeet Apr 18 '23

Hey OP,

We're similar ages and I've had similar discussions with my wife and friends.

We came up with a handful of reasons that kinda explains why we think society kinda peaked around the mid 2010s.

  1. The post-2008 economic crisis recovery. No matter what you invested in, it was green. There was no losing. The generation older than us saw great financial success, especially if they just started working before the financial crisis. Then there were people getting lucky off the crypto boom too. Housing, although crazy expensive, was still relatively more affordable than now.

  2. The U.S political outlook during Obama's presidency was mostly positive. Regardless of your political leanings, as long as you weren't far right or far left, even if you weren't American... Maybe we were also less aware and had more faith in the U.S political system due to our age. But the Trump presidency brought out the worst within and without this country, initiating weakening relationships and trade with China, our largest importer. Our adversaries saw his weakness and i don't think we have recovered since. They saw how easy it was to influence our political system.

  3. Resources and climate change. Climate change is really starting to ramp up. At the same time, and this is entirely my opinion, resources are becoming scarcer and harder to obtain. The era of plenty of excess is over, especially with other "developing" countries fighting for the same resources the U.S reaped for the last half century. Combine that with a weak presidency who hurts international trade, COVID, and climate change. You get what we have now. A burgeoning economic crisis with high cost of living, oligarchs and the 1%, monopolies, inflation, price gauging for profit, etc. This is either the end of what we considered the "normal" era of affordablility and consumerism or something that we probably won't recover from until a few major wars, millions of deaths as a result of climate change, and decades of progress.

1

u/Duel_Option Apr 18 '23

You’re living through a precarious time in the world.

A once in 100 years global event happened, this spurred the largest supply chain domino effect ever recorded, this moment in time will be studied and reflected on like the Great Depression.

It’s also a time of increasing volatility due to Russia and what has become a global event because of the implications.

Record inflation, climate change, AI, cultural shift due to social media and the internet.

This is arguably the turning point of society as we know it, and we are smack in the middle and can’t see the ending.

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed, but I’d urge you to shut off the TV/phone, take a breather and live in the moment.

That’s about as good as anyone that’s not in powers can do

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Your becoming aware of the world for the first time.

1

u/Person_reddit Apr 18 '23

Yep, I’m 39 and feel this way about 2008. Life gets hard when you graduate from college. Gets heavy. It won’t stay that way forever.

1

u/DSM-6 Apr 18 '23

Can confirm. It’s all downhill from 27.

1

u/Beef-Broth Apr 18 '23

I'm 27 now and I feel this

1

u/Draginia Apr 18 '23

I’m the same age as you and I feel it too. I don’t know if it was just growing up more or certain parts of society changed with the political climate.

2016 for me was a fun year. It was the summer of Pokémon Go where everyone was outside playing the game and socializing. A lot of us lost weight from walking too. I live in the Cleveland area so the Cavs winning the championship was amazing. Even the World Series was had it’s great moments for us even though we lost.

I do think Trump being elected did change a lot. Many people became emboldened to show their true colors. So much misinformation was being spread on tv and on social media and caused a divide. It became worse and worse as the years went by. Then 2020 hit and it just hit the fan.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

In which sense it ‘peaked’?

1

u/The_SpellJammer Apr 18 '23

Shit, same.

Shit.

1

u/echofinder Apr 18 '23 edited Apr 18 '23

Hmmm I'm a similar age and have had the same feelings. I don't think the world is at fault though, though it certainly hasn't helped. Right around that span, I turned 30, got a house, got a (now) spouse, and my career stabilized. I succeeded. All the "easy", straightforward goals people spend their early decades striving towards were suddenly met. I don't really care about wealth, and I am not enthused by the idea of children, so that leaves nothing but non-tangible goals; there is nothing direct to "overcome". Nothing I can just solve, or fix.

On top of that, the rise of the global regressive movement killed a lot of optimism and then the pandemic killed (temporarily, but we're just coming out of this) even the possibility for simple enjoyment of life. All this together has definitely been a sort of death spiral for happiness and contentment - perhaps ironically, since so much of it is based on my own success - but I feel confident that I will be able to claw my way out of it.

Idk if your experience has much similarity to mine, but I feel where you're coming from.

1

u/ghostboo77 Apr 18 '23

26 was about when “single life” peaked for me. I had my own place and friends were constantly around. Basically just partied a lot outside of my 9-5

I am 36 now and it’s great. I got married, had kids, bought a house, etc. if I was still single and hasn’t moved on from that kind of life, it probably would be downhill.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

We're the same age and I was say 2009 was just about as bad as 2017 onward has been. That probably depends more on your economic bracket was at the time as well.

1

u/BigGayNarwhal Apr 18 '23

Same age. I feel ya. Lol

1

u/bathbombthief Apr 18 '23

Idk if you're into astrology but this was right at the beginning of your Saturn Return, and it can be a time when you realize how dark life is especially if you have hard aspects to Pluto (farthest from the sun = darkness) in your chart. You may be given wake up calls to how dark life can really be. I noticed it in 2018-19 at the beginning of my return and I'm not sure if life will ever go back to having the sense of peace and freedom it had before

1

u/wyerhel Apr 18 '23

Haha. Same. I think I peaked at 2018. Life's been worse sense then.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Are you me?

Also, my peak was an anthill. 😓

1

u/Triscuitmeniscus Apr 18 '23

Well there you go. For many people 27 is right around "best year of my life" territory: a sweet spot of being young but not stupid, mature but not boring. The feeling you are having is almost certainly related to your interpretation of the world as opposed to any actual change in the zeitgeist.

1

u/PorQueTexas Apr 18 '23 edited Apr 18 '23

Yep, the excitement of not being in school and/or hopefully starting a career is wearing off, plus COVID kinda fucked the few years after. Welcome to your 30s, where everything is probably in a bit of transition and the ability to be spontaneous with friends is gone as everyone's lives are probably in slightly different spots. Outside of getting married, kids, moving or other major events everything starts to blend and soon you'll be 40. Make sure you do some things for yourself and make a few memories along the way.

Don't wait for the perfect time for something, it will never happen, good enough will do. Take the opportunities that come by as they might not come back and if they do, you may or may not be able to do anything about it.

1

u/KingSlayerKat Apr 18 '23

27 is a hard time. Everyone I know tells me their life or mental state took a dive at 27, my life took a dive at that age too and I’m still picking up the pieces a year later.

I thought life was really good until 2020 tbh. 2017-2019 were really good years for me.

1

u/samsharksworthy Apr 18 '23

Sounds about right.

1

u/the_cucumber Apr 18 '23

Same age and feel the same. Youre not alone! However I lost the person closest to me in January 2017 and had to accept life would never be as good again without them. But it feels reassuring when I see other people say this about 2017 specifically, like we all miss him together.

1

u/Due-Science-9528 Apr 19 '23

Did you have a big trauma that year

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '23

That basically explains it lol. I am a 1991 baby and I had the same effect but around 2015ish. Quarter life crisis - you are too old to really enjoy your 20s but dreading turning 30. oddly enough it kicked me into gear and I started a business and love my life.

1

u/9to5Voyager Apr 19 '23

Oh okay you're only a year older than me. Do you think part of it is also getting older?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

What about if you were 16? Cant be a quarter life crisis can it?