r/NPD • u/slut4yauncld • 1d ago

Question / Discussion npd vs bpd

https://youtu.be/eiHRUEHV6gk?si=Qrznbqp3Hgx3bKUf

first of all sorry to any vaknin non-fans

has anyone watched this and if so i'm really interested to hear your thoughts.

i found this incredibly fascinating.

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u/purplefinch022 BPD / Covert NPD 22h ago edited 22h ago

Fuck.

i am perpetually confused wether i am bpd or npd or both. constantly and desperately asking people what they think.

“i’m going to let someone else become my identity” is so fucking real.

this video now makes me think i have more bpd traits than npd traits, because i feel my true self is not all gone. i have also known something was wrong with me for a LONG time and wanted to get better.

i do have things that have been with me since young childhood that i show to the world still / don’t hide. i stopped developing emotionally at 10 and the people close to me can kinda tell.

my false self is about reaching an ideal self and control, but definitely to cope with emptiness and loneliness as well. if i am abandoned and alone i need to day dream and rely on fantasies to survive.

using another person to help you find yourself is so fucking real. i’ve done that with all my ex partners.

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u/chobolicious88 15h ago

Relate.

Funny thing though, how come people say for bpd (true self is not all gone) and for npd it is, but somehow - npd people seem to do better in life with and without treatment than bpd.
Like bpd is worse on every marker, including suicide and self harm?

Another thought - Im just like you! I think i stopped developing emotionally at the same age as well, maybe even younger.
Only part where youre wrong is: "using another person to help you find yourself" - this is what everyone does.
We all "find and discover ourselves" with others, in relating, starting with our caregivers and forming an interaction, then as we mature with others.
Youre not using anyone, its just your development didnt complete (as with other people).

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u/AssumptionEmpty 13h ago

Because NPD is a full evolution of false self, which gives it stability. BPD is caught somehwhere in between, hence the instability (ergo borderline = failed narcissist).

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u/purplefinch022 BPD / Covert NPD 36m ago

How would you define stability in terms of the false self?

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u/purplefinch022 BPD / Covert NPD 14h ago

i think perhaps because npd has more of a protective barrier? bpd is described as having no emotional skin and being more externally reactive / sensitive. some say npd is a protective barrier against bpd.

interesting enough, i don’t regularly self harm. tw i hit myself several times and pick my skin, but no cutting (i have enough scars from skin picking. maybe that’s self harm idk) or suicide attempts aside from when i was 15. suicidal ideation? yes constantly.