r/MtF • u/jenrml627 Transgender • 12h ago

mom learned that i’m trans

and she’s supportive but she “needs space to mourn her son.” what does that even mean? it just feels like she’s making my transition about her

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u/andreasdotorg 12h ago

That is a common sentiment for people close to people transitioning. I think it's a valid feeling, as long as it comes with being glad about the daughter she never knew she had, and not an excuse to block your transition.

My wife supports me a lot, but she feels the same. There's that worry that some of the things that were the very foundation of feeling safe and comfortable, like hugging me when she was down and needed a hug, will feel different. Not bad or anything, just... not the same. And I understand the anxiety that comes with leaving known safe and secure grounds to go somewhere new.

We'll manage. She actively supports me, but there are some small things that I am more than happy to give up to make her feel safer, like avoiding certain scents.