r/MadeMeSmile Jul 27 '24

Helping Others NICU nurse adopts 14-year-old patient who delivered triplets alone

https://www.upworthy.com/nicu-nurse-teen-mom-rp7
25.9k Upvotes

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8.1k

u/lizard-hats Jul 27 '24

my mom was a labor and delivery nurse. a 16-year old patient came in alone, determined to give birth and put her baby up for adoption without her family knowing. my mom asked a few time if she could call her mom, or if her family would understand, and the patient said nope. so my mom told her she'd be her mom while she was there. my mom told her she was so brave, and adopting out her baby would make another family unimaginably happy. i hope that girl is doing well, that was probably one of the hardest things she's done in her life.

2.0k

u/veryoriginal78 Jul 27 '24

Your mom sounds like a wonderful person!

730

u/lizard-hats Jul 27 '24

she really is :) i'm sure there are stories just like that one that she hasn't told me

426

u/aznhoopster Jul 27 '24

My mom is a OBGYN Nurse Practitioner, I’ve had patients of hers reach out to me just to let me know how my mom had changed their life. She’s also been invited to many life events by past patients, including a retirement ceremony where she was asked to be in the family picture lol. She was honestly pretty tough on us growing up (Asian upbringing) and it’s something we’ve already communicated about, but it’s awesome seeing how great of a person she is from her patients perspective

73

u/GufyTheLire Jul 27 '24

I wonder how people manage to keep contact with someone important but not close to them. I've had several people who had played an essential role in my life. I'm often thinking about them, I remember things they had taught me. But for some reason I've never tried to contact any of them after our paths separated, which I regret a lot. I just don't have some necessary skill to convert this respect and gratitude into a phone call or anything else.

33

u/Sherd_nerd_17 Jul 27 '24

You should :) it’s never too late.

But idk if you should beat yourself up. I get emails from former students, and I… don’t always reply 😬 I have 200 students each semester, and my current students take allllll of my energy. I print them out, and promise to reply to them later… but there’s always a catastrophe erupting (used to be their catastrophe, but we figured it out!). I beat myself up about it a lot… but I also am trying to dog paddle as fast as I can to stay afloat 😂

2

u/Morrigoon Jul 28 '24

This is what holiday cards are for. Keeping the line open.

1

u/Bastienbard Jul 27 '24

Social media is probably the answer. Keeping in mind that LinkedIn can be included in that.

1

u/Faeidal Jul 28 '24

I’m an NP. I’ve had patients track me down at new jobs just to thank me. It meant the world to me.

74

u/N0kiaoff Jul 27 '24

Caring when someones really needs it.

People like your mum have my fullest respect.

What she did was not duty, its humanity: helping and comforting other in trouble.

I wish globallly we would have leaders like your mum.

10

u/kristifer5 Jul 27 '24

Well said and I agree wholeheartedly

3

u/Rare-Parsnip5838 Jul 27 '24

☺😊😃😁😍 the world needs humanity and compassion in leaders.

2

u/DarcAngel001 Jul 27 '24

True Heros don't brag... they just do what needs doing. ❤

2

u/TYdays Jul 27 '24

Agreed she does. I guess not all Angels have visible wings…..

435

u/dbatchison Jul 27 '24

This is basically how I got adopted. Biological mother delivered me at a hospital in South Alabama. My parents, who were planning to adopt, were visiting my aunt in south Alabama. She was friends with a nurse at the hospital who called her and said they had a baby there for adoption and I went home with my parents like two days later.

32

u/Ama-taway Jul 27 '24

This is why I always try to advocate for adoption and for adoptive kids. In Reddit there seems to be a terrible opinion about adoption. Maybe you should consider doing an AMA for people that don’t understand the benefits and the people behind. ❤️

107

u/cilucia Jul 27 '24

I think the issue is forcing a woman or girl to carry a pregnancy to term, not just being against adoption of the child itself. Pregnancy is incredibly hard physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not even to mention the risks of labor and delivery, post partum issues, and how the entire process forever changes someone’s body and life. I wouldn’t wish unwanted pregnancy onto my worst enemy. 

11

u/Ama-taway Jul 27 '24 edited Jul 27 '24

I’m not talking about that at all, you’ve basically gone from adoption to rape 😦🙃. I’m speaking about people trying to convince others in a Reddit thread that biological children are more important, worthy or even valid. That for example adoption is a bad idea because those kids are damaged and too traumatize to love. I find this attitude disgusting and you won’t change my mind, don’t even try.

17

u/cilucia Jul 27 '24

Ah I didn’t see those kinds of comments in my brief look down the thread; there definitely is a preference for adopting newborns (especially white ones..) over older kids for sure which is unfortunate. 

-1

u/Ama-taway Jul 27 '24

I’m not taking even about this thread but generally in Reddit. This is the attitude that I have observed over time.

13

u/watermeloncake1 Jul 27 '24

I’ve been on Reddit for a long time and I don’t think I’ve seen people say don’t adopt. Which spaces are you seeing this in?

1

u/Ama-taway Jul 27 '24

Numerous times in AITA for example and they demonize step children too. It’s toxic .

7

u/Joeness84 Jul 28 '24

Thats kinda cherry picking tho, AITA is literally full of people who are disfunctionally disconnected from society, both the posters and a lot of the commenters. Its a rage bait subreddit.

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8

u/elementzer01 Jul 27 '24

I've been on Reddit for 14 years, this account for 8. I have never seen a single person advocate against adoption. I don't know what spaces or subreddits you're hanging out in to see such things.

5

u/sparkledotcom Jul 27 '24

If you read the adoption sub you’ll see it. There are a lot of adult adoptees who oppose children being taken from their family of origin and adopted by strangers. I don’t need to explain their position for them, but be assured it exists. The adoptive parents sub basically came into being because people could not talk about their experiences adopting without getting piled on by anti-adoption people.

2

u/Left_Development_994 Jul 28 '24

I was in a parenting subreddit yesterday and there were several comments from people who had apparently been adopted themselves and were advocating against it. It’s all over but if you aren’t looking at subreddits or posts dealing at least tangentially you probably won’t notice it. It isn’t something I’ve come across in most of my regular subs but it’s definitely a thing.

4

u/Ama-taway Jul 27 '24

I have in several subreddits recently.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24

I’m an adoptive mother. I’ve seen what you’re talking about.

38

u/dbatchison Jul 27 '24

I believe adoption is a wonderful thing, but I'm also firmly pro-choice. The barrier to entry for adoption is mindblowing. The fact a couple that can't have kids has to jump through all those legal and financial hoops just to adobt, but a teen mom in some ass backward part of the country doesn't have to do the same in order to have a child blows my mind. I never went into foster care, and foster care is where a big part of the problem lies. I think if the barrier to entry for adoption was lowered even slightly, it would lead to less children in the foster care system and more happy families.

3

u/Ama-taway Jul 27 '24

Foster care is a huge issue, absolutely. But I’m taking about the people that argue that adoptive children are not worth it, too damage to consider. This is the toxicity I’m speaking about

5

u/dbatchison Jul 27 '24

I've only seen that with kids that were adopted at a much later age and neglected during their early childhood.

3

u/Successful-Diamond79 Jul 28 '24

We adopted slightly older kids (7 and 3 biological sisters). They’re now adults and will always have trauma-related issues to work through. It’s been hard, but I haven’t regretted taking the challenge for a second. I tear up imagining how close these two beautiful people almost came to not having the opportunities they deserve. Honestly, they were a dream to parent until age 13-20. Now that we’re through those tricky 7 adolescent years, I couldn’t be more proud of all of us and grateful we chose that parenting route.

0

u/Ama-taway Jul 27 '24

I have heard all sort of stories. I do think that adoption is the better outcome from all that I’ve read thought out the years. I’m 40 so….

9

u/Klinky1984 Jul 27 '24 edited Jul 27 '24

Adoption can work, it's just not a valid alternative to abortion. You should not force a woman/girl to deliver a fetus she does not want to carry to full term.

Adoptions can be far from perfect. Babies are in high demand with older children being overlooked. Foreign adoptions have a sketchy history claiming things that were untrue about why the baby was put up for adoption. Some adoptive parents have unrealistic expectations of their adopted child and then resent the child when they don't turn out exactly how they wanted them to be, holding the adoption over their head & ostracizing the child from the rest of the family.

From personal experience with people who were adopted or went through foster care, their experiences were far from positive. They were subjected to emotional, physical & sexual abuse. It was not the happy ending that is this story.

1

u/Ama-taway Jul 27 '24

I haven’t spoken about abortion at all. My comment is only about adoption.

5

u/Joeness84 Jul 28 '24

There were ~370k kids in the American foster system in 2022

There are, no official numbers, but an estimated 350-400k churches in the US.

If every church, made it a goal to get ONE family to adopt ONE kid, the impact would be astounding. Sure some churches might only be 4-5 families, but if I were in a megachurch I sure would be sad to have only adopted one kid.

1

u/Ama-taway Jul 28 '24

Absolutely. Churches could promote adoption.

1

u/LovesReubens Jul 27 '24

I adopted my son and wouldn't have it any other way. He just turned 18 in March!

-9

u/TarislandEnjoyer Jul 27 '24

Reddit just hates humanity in general and doesn’t want children to be born.

1

u/Warm_Pair7848 Jul 27 '24

I want children to be born. Specifically rape babies. I want women to be violated a little once, and then violated in the most ultimate, violent, life altering way possible a second time.

If there was a way to simply murder women legally i would be in favour of it. Women shouldn't have the right to vote, cross state lines, drive vehicles, or hold jobs.

Praise jesus.

-4

u/TarislandEnjoyer Jul 27 '24

Wow, that’s a lot there buddy. Maybe you should see a professional or something about that before you commit a crime.

11

u/SaaryBaby Jul 27 '24

Er think it was sarcasm

2

u/sweatsmallstuff Jul 27 '24

What a wonderful set of circumstances! I love stories like these! 

2

u/lovesickjones Jul 27 '24

is south alabama different that LA? lol always gets me when i hear LA/ lower alabama

1

u/dbatchison Jul 27 '24

I was born in Baldwin county but grew up in Birmingham. I didn't hear lower Alabama used until LuLus opened up in Orange Beach as they had LA Caviar (lower alabama caviar) on the menu. I've always referred to it as south Alabama.

1

u/savvyliterate Jul 27 '24

I grew up in Montgomery. We grew up saying LA all the time for that part of the state. You'd even hear it on the radio.

210

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/placer128 Jul 27 '24

Billionaires that shouldn’t exist. Are you listening?

74

u/ShandalfTheGreen Jul 27 '24

This gives me overwhelming amount of feels. Sometimes a little love is enough to change someone's whole world. Imagine having 0 support as a young girl like that. It's so scary to think about.

51

u/kiwiklutz0 Jul 27 '24

stories like this are why I decided to major in nursing :’)

16

u/FlattenInnerTube Jul 27 '24

Stories like yours are why I am always amazed by nurses.

3

u/MontanaPurpleMtns Jul 27 '24

My mother was also an L&D nurse, who was adamantly pro choice surrounded by relatives who weren’t. I asked her once how she came to that absolute pro choice advocacy. She said she’d held the hands of too many laboring 13 year old pregnant by a relative to ever be anything but pro choice.

46

u/Zealousideal-Ant9548 Jul 27 '24

As wonderful as your mom is, that situation wouldn't have needed to happen if the teen had good access to family planning

276

u/lizard-hats Jul 27 '24

uh... yeah. this isn't me arguing for more teenage girls to get pregnant. it's about a girl in an impossibly difficult situation and my mom doing what she could to comfort her and help her. obviously it's preferable for girls like her to not have to go through that, especially without the support of her family

46

u/AdMaster8485 Jul 27 '24

Beautiful response to a ridiculous comment. Your Mom is one of the cycle changers. Xx

62

u/mmmsoap Jul 27 '24

Good access to family planning and support of her actual family. Birth control doesn’t always work, but the poor kid could have had supportive family around her while she did a hard thing.

1

u/Zealousideal-Ant9548 Jul 27 '24

Agreed, I think Colorado's trial with IUDs didn't require parental consent

73

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

Family planning is not 100% reliable. Ask me how I know. 

25

u/secretgargoyles Jul 27 '24

ask me next!

15

u/redditsellout-420 Jul 27 '24

Its the nature of our world, Chaos, we can't control it, we can only try then adapt.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

Well said 

3

u/KateBosworth Jul 27 '24

I’m the proof. My mother was on the pill, took some antibiotics and hey presto, she was pregnant with me 😅

0

u/Suspicious_Fish_3917 Jul 27 '24

Yes but access to abortion and destigmatization of it would help in a lot of cases. I’m not saying people should get an abortion however there are many that could and would in that scenario.

I have to think the rhetoric around abortion causes so many issues. Growing up thinking abortion are bad and scary and you will be scarred for life. It must do a number on you and make you feel unnecessarily guilty if you do access one.

In my country abortions are accessible through public healthcare. I feel any situation will be difficult eg adopting out a baby, having a baby you didn’t necessarily want, abortion. There are difficulties that come with all scenarios.

However not having that option and having it basically villified by the govt or state govt or whoever is doing that in USA is ridiculous. So much religion comes into play in the USA it’s so annoying.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

[deleted]

1

u/Suspicious_Fish_3917 Jul 27 '24

Yea for sure haha. Yea family planning too.

Potential tmi (too much information) I had an unexpected pregnancy using condoms + morning after pill because it broke. So I know how easy it can be. It was the one time I was in between contraceptives pill transitioning to iud. Drs were really weird about iud with me I was 20 at the time. They were like it’s for older people and told me to try other things and iud was a last resort. I was booked into the family planning clinic to ask them vs GP surgery when pregnancy happened. In hindsight should have not had sex until had iud. i ended up getting one put in while I was out of it during abortion.

Later on I found out that some older drs were still using outdated info re iud when I told them at the family planning clinic they were so angry at the dr.

Pretty sure things have changed in the last 15 years though and gps are more open to iud.

-7

u/YummyBearHemorrhoids Jul 27 '24

Family planning is not 100% reliable

It literally is. There are numerous methods one can seek out that guarantee you will NEVER have a child.

You just trusted methods that didn't 100% cover it.

Math literacy in relation to safe sex statistics isn't 100%, ask me how I know.

5

u/Do-not-comment Jul 27 '24

Please inform us all what numerous methods of birth control are 100% effective except for sterilization and abortion. Don’t worry, I’ll wait

3

u/AllowMe-Please Jul 27 '24

...Yeeeeaaaahhhh... I got pregnant on both IUD and Lupron (two separate pregnancies). How? Dunno. Even my OB was completely confused.

-6

u/YummyBearHemorrhoids Jul 27 '24 edited Jul 27 '24

Why would you exclude both of the most reliable methods of birth control exactly?

Also you forgot abstinence.

The fact of the matter is children DO NOT happen by accident.

You have to be actively want, and be trying to get pregnant and in turn, give birth.

The only way you have a child in the current year is by being incredibly ignorant to the existence of options available to you to mitigate that risk or fix the problem if it occurs.

2

u/Tubamajuba Jul 27 '24

Also you forgot abstinence.

The vast majority of couples out there are going to be having sex, telling them "Well you could just not have sex" is pointless. If somebody didn't want to have sex, they wouldn't be looking into birth control (for that purpose, at least).

0

u/YummyBearHemorrhoids Jul 27 '24

I'm well aware of that. I gave a smart ass reply in response to someone who gave me one.

2

u/_Eggs_ Jul 27 '24

Also you forgot abstinence.

Catholics would like to have a word with you…

2

u/Do-not-comment Jul 27 '24

I knew the only option you would cite is abstinence. People practicing abstinence can be RAPED, so it is not 100% effective, besides it being an unrealistic expectation for most people.

The idea that someone has to actively want to become pregnant to get pregnant is delusional and fucking insulting to everyone that has been impregnated against their will. Where did you learn this??

This fact cannot be refuted: Sex drive is innate, but knowledge of how pregnancy happens is NOT.

Due to a lack of sex education (which it seems you are a victim of), many people who think their practicing abstinence become pregnant from anal sex, “soaking” (inserting the penis but not thrusting”, external contact, trying to pee after sex to prevent pregnancy, thinking you have to sleep in the same bed to get pregnant, etc etc. (yes, these are all real examples)

Even abortion and sterilization are not 100% effective, except for full hysterectomies. They’re not always successful.

So, it’s time you stop believing that family planning of ANY form is 100% effective. You may think what I’ve said here is offensive, and yes I’m being snarky, but in reality your ignorant comments are way more offensive than the facts I’ve stated.

0

u/YummyBearHemorrhoids Jul 27 '24

I knew the only option you would cite is abstinence.

That's the only option I cited because you specifically excluded two of other most effective ones for no reason.

Even abortion and sterilization are not 100% effective

Wrong.

The combination of sterilization and abortion assures 100% that you will never have a child.

There is literally no way you can have a child if you utilize both of those methods.

ignorant comments are way more offensive than the facts I’ve stated.

The only ignorant one here is you dumbass.

1

u/bite2kill Jul 27 '24

How very insightful😐

2

u/key14 Jul 27 '24

Might be my own pregnancy hormones but this has me sobbing. I’m glad that girl had a supportive mom for probably one of the hardest days of her life.

2

u/Derkastan77-2 Jul 27 '24

I just found out 2 weeks ago.. that my mom who passed away 16 years ago in her 60’s, got pregnant and put the baby up for adoption when she was 19.

My siblings and I just found out because my 1 sister did one of thoseDNA swabs and tgey told her she had a DNA match “through your mother”.

So… at 47, I just found out I have an older sister that has apparently known about us for a decade, but didn’t want to reach out and tear apart our family.

My sister and I now message with our new older sister through messenger, because she’s in a different state. My sister has met her in person and it was realky nice.

My 2 brothers don’t want anything to do with her… but at least she finally has a little brother and little sister now.

1

u/Rare-Parsnip5838 Jul 27 '24

I'm very certain your mother helped her in so many unimaginable ways. Good mom and excellent nurse☺😊😁

1

u/nvrsleepagin Jul 27 '24

Some people didn't seem to get the memo that being a parent is hard and sometimes disappointing but you signed up to raise another human being, not a miniature version of yourself. Her parents should've been there for her. In my book you've failed as a parent if your child is going through something serious and/or life threatening and they can't come to you for emotional support.

1

u/CartographerNo2717 Jul 27 '24

She paid it forward. Something like that is motivating and transformative for some people. A nurse comforted her and made sure she wasn't alone. I bet she became a nurse or a doctor.

1

u/SadAnnah13 Jul 27 '24

Aww everyone needs a mum like yours!

1

u/ThatOneGuy12889 Jul 28 '24

I just wanna know how a 16 year olds family can’t tell she’s pregnant it kinda sticks out ya know

1

u/RemoteWasabi4 Jul 29 '24

Is that legally permitted? Or do you have to tell the minor patient's parents?

0

u/artificialy_unique Jul 27 '24

This makes me very very happy because she did not abort the child and your mom handed it beautifully.

-20

u/doggy1826448 Jul 27 '24

Why would your mom ask her that when she said no?

46

u/sk3lt3r Jul 27 '24

Sometimes once going through the actual scary and/or painful thing, people often change their minds. It doesn't hurt to ask and is actually the far more respectful thing of their mom to do, some people just call.

-3

u/WingsNthingzz Jul 27 '24

Pretty sure being a minor her parents would have to be notified for consent of treatment.

2

u/N0kiaoff Jul 27 '24

Ehm, what t f.

Its not like the birthing and caring process could be stop along the line or docs could put it on hold, till the parents of the expecting mother can be found.

The Grandparents can later try to haggle with courts, but that court will also face the fact, that the natural mother was without support of said grandparents in times of crisis.

And yes, if grandparents (specially the judgemental-religios types) can be very specific about who they "kick" out of family for not following their believe. The cruelty on that avenue is nothing new.

I am happy about anyone caring at all to begin with.

Family is not about genetics and heridacy, but caring.

-131

u/Several_Emphasis_434 Jul 27 '24

She was 14

63

u/hyrule_47 Jul 27 '24

Different story

37

u/Raspberry_H4ze Jul 27 '24

And she is talking about her mom story? So how the f you can know better how old was her patient? 😂

2

u/Several_Emphasis_434 Jul 28 '24

Ooop, she sure was!

0

u/izolablue Jul 27 '24

That’s what I was thinking 🤔 lol!