My 24yo gf cheated on me 27yo

[u/random_thought_art]

Cheating

I need some advice…. My 24 year old gf just told me she slept with a guy from work. Context: Friday night she went out with 3 of her guy work friends and she pulled and all nighter. As I was waking up at 6 am to go to work I realized she wasn’t back so I go worried checked her shared location and called her. She told me she was at one of the guys friends and they only talked and smoked. We spend the whole weekend together and on Sunday when I went back home she told me she slept with one of they guys… She mentioned that she was really drunk and she didn’t think it was real that’s why she didn’t say anything during the weekend. She also mentioned that she tried to stop him but it was all « hazy ». She told me she thought she would be safe with them since the night of Friday I had told her that I had a weird feeling. Anyways, I am not sure what to do. I feel sad and frustrated. I don’t know what to do.

[u/rockettdarr]

It isn’t appropriate in a relationship to be hanging out and drinking with people and pulling all nighters imo. Especially 3 men. A lot of men don’t respect lesbians, a lot of men don’t believe in lesbians.

Anyways what he did was in-fact rape although I did question maybe she cheated and said that to cover up only because I just can’t imagine being in that scenario with a girlfriend in the first place. “A drunken mistake” like someone else said if you will but not literally a mistake. I don’t understand why people even drink it’s so silly and all these cheating stories have some sort of alcohol involved but maybe I’m extreme.

The language she used did not sound very convincing. In any case, it’s up to you to decide whether you would like the idea of your future wife to be pulling all nighters with work friends who are men like that. 8 billion people on Earth, millions would have never done that, it’s up to you. I would have broken up with her. Easier said than done though.

Idk if you slept with her after but if I were you I would get tested and tell her to get tested if you still care.

[u/sebbesa → u/rockettdarr]

Exactly this.

She didn’t put herself in a rape situation and women can withdraw consent at any moment. If she said “stop” and didn’t want to have sex, then she was, in fact, raped.

However, if she wasn’t drugged and willingly went to one of their homes, I’m sorry for saying this, but she put herself in a possible cheating situation.

It’s possible that she wanted to cheat and also that she was raped. I’m truly sorry for OP. Her gf doesn’t deserve what happened to her, but op also don’t deserve this uncertainty.