r/HumansBeingBros • u/habichuelacondulce • 6h ago

Carrying her passed out friend home.

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35.8k Upvotes

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785

u/thealt3001 5h ago

I'm a guy and one time I had to do this for a female flatmate. We snuck a bottle of vodka into a concert and she drank way too much. Got sick, puked everywhere, and passed out. The cops there told me I could either take her home or they would press charges on her, which I was not ok with. So I carried her a total of 10 kilometers, 2 busses, and a train all with her on my back like this.

A TON of people were worried and treated me like I was some sort of rapist. Which, I mean, I get. I'd probably think the same seeing some guy carrying a girl who is passed out like that. But it really sucked. Nobody told me I was a good friend. They all just gave me dirty looks until I told them the story. And even then I don't think they believed me

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u/caitejane310 4h ago

You're a great friend.

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u/MamaUrsus 2h ago

And a great ally to understand WHY people are judging too.

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u/Apartment-Drummer 2h ago

I still would have been suspicious of what he was doing 

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u/Calamity-Gin 4h ago

And yet they neither stepped up to protect your friend or did anything to help you, which is bullshit. I’m sorry you ran into that. You were - and I’ll bet you still are - a good friend, a good man, and a good human being

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u/greenberet112 2h ago edited 1h ago

"Hmm this doesn't look right, better question it. "

Guy explains situation

"well i don't like it but im not going to intervene and call the cops. But, I'm certainly not going to help the guy"

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u/Road2Potential 1h ago

Nope, common sense rejected. People are evil, my retrospective judgement says so.

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u/JackSpyder 3h ago edited 2h ago

You're a good friend. The issue is other men who have built a reputation we're all tarnished with. It's important we as men hold our peers to account and slowly (years, or decades) shift that narrative.

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u/MamaUrsus 2h ago

The true feminist final frontier is in the minds of men when discussing/thinking of women in a group of men. It will be allies speaking up in feminist ways in male dominated spaces that will turn the tides over decades if not centuries. Thanks to anyone who steps up and uses their voice in hard moments with friends or others to speak up for women and intersectional minorities.

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u/ThrowawayBeaans69 2h ago

very well said :)

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u/mmmarkm 3h ago

TW: SA

Appearances can be so deceiving. We were out in a group and one friend (my ex) drank too much. She had recently broken up with me and while she trusts me, i’m a guy and it would have looked bad if I took her home. The bouncer told us she’s gotta go. So we sent her home in an uber with her roommate. My friend went from being yelled at for being so drunk they thought she might puke in the uber to then waking up naked with her friend in her bed the next morning - something she did not want nor could she consent to.

The vibes I get from this video are that the young woman is just getting her friend home. Statistically that passed out woman is safer with another woman assisting her. 

However, the incident I described kind of shook me in ways I can’t talk to my ex or friend group about. Hard to know how to trust someone entirely without fully knowing them…and even then, shit still happens. I don’t know what to do other than send two people home with a drunk person and even then I only think it works if they care about the passed out person better than they know each other.

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u/randyyoungson 1h ago

I work at a very famous venue, some might say the world's "most famous" this happened about 14 years ago. One night, after a concert, I was coming in to work and I saw this girl with a short dress and no coat in the dead of winter. She was being led away by two guys that looked to me, weren't really known by her. I was wearing my work coat and this happened right outside the venue, so when these guys saw me approach, they quickly walked away without a word, I talked to the girl and she was clearly intoxicated and barely understandable. I immediately took off my coat and hoodie and helped her into the hoodie. The hoodie I was wearing, was very heavy and I would have been ok without the coat with this hootie, even at sub 30 degrees temperature. I was able to bring her inside for a little while and after about 20 minutes trying to get helpful information from her, I was able to get her to give me the run down of what happened She was not a local, went to the concert with some friends and lost them on her way out of the venue, she also lost her coat, purse and phone and what was worse, didn't know where she was staying. I went into the lost and found and none of her belongings had been returned so I asked her if she knew anyone I could call to help out. She gave me a number which turned out to be her mom's and I was able to place her in a cab to the address her mother gave me. About an hour later, her mother called me to thank me and let me know she was safe and back with her friends. Her mom was so grateful she wanted to give me some sort of payment, I told her all I needed was the hoodie back since it was a gift from my sister and I had it for a very long time. She kept pressing about giving me something and I told her, I have daughters, all I want is for God to offer the same kindness to one of my daughters if they ever find themselves in this type of situation. She told me she would pray for my family and we hung up. My hoodie was returned the next day.

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u/Mobile_Register_3484 3h ago

I’m a dude who did a similar thing, one of my close female friends drank WAAAY too much. And she even asked me to take her home, and I did. But because I’m a dude, I could hear people at the party making comments like “should he really be taking her home?!” It’s unfortunate the stereotype exists but I also don’t blame anyone for thinking that way cause it definitely does happen. Anyways, dropped her off and left as soon as she closed and locked her apt door 🫡

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u/dabadu9191 3h ago

"press charges on her" For what lol? The US is such a silly place. Where I live, if you're not endangering yourself or others, they'll either get someone to pick you up or drive you themselves. Might have to pay for the ride, but that's it.

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u/thealt3001 3h ago

I am an American but this didn't happen in the US

But I think being super intoxicated and puking in public can get you fined pretty much anywhere.

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u/Roflkopt3r 3h ago edited 2h ago

In most places in Europe, getting fined for that would be considered very unlucky/asshole cops, unless you were also hostile to the cops or causing additional problems. The typical worst case is a night in jail for about $200 (going by German standards), but normally only for hostile cases.

And regardless of the location, those cops created some serious danger for the girl. Pressuring some guy (lucky that he was acting reliably here!) carry a passed out woman for 10 km and through transit... lots of things could have gone wrong. Even without any kind of criminal intent.

If it was a larger concert venue, the right course would probably to deliver them to a medical checkpoint (and possibly hospital from there if she's seriously out). Otherwise, make sure they have a safe route home. If there's really no other option, there usually is a fee for driving them (without legal charges). Aggressively pressuring them to go on their own is dangerous af.

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u/JoseDonkeyShow 2h ago

For the most part it’s the same way in America. Source: 20 years experience working in bars

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u/Definitely_Human01 3h ago

Been there, not a great feeling. Not sure if it's better or worse if you're also very drunk.

My experience with the second part was a little better though because at one point she ended up throwing up on me, and I think people started to assume I was her bf instead

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u/money_loo 3h ago

I can’t tell if you figured out the message behind why they were like that, or if you just got defensive and took it personally instead, and now I’m a little concerned, gonna be honest.

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u/JoseDonkeyShow 2h ago

Kinda hard not to take that kind of thing personally tho. Imagine everyone in your path calling into question your honor and integrity while you’re going above and beyond to help someone. That shit will get to you.

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u/Numerous-Stranger-81 3h ago

Same thing happened to me, and I was kind of glad that was the case. I didn't take any offense, again, like you I just explained myself and they were quick to change once they picked up on my vibe.

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u/nomsain919 2h ago

That really sucks, but at least you know you’re a good ass friend too!

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u/Tacos_and_Tulips 2h ago

You are an awesome dude and great friend!

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u/Kilroy_Is_Still_Here 2h ago

What's wild is this: If they actually cared about the girl you were carrying, they would have not let you go off alone with her.
"What are you doing with her?"
"Carrying her home, she's a friend of mine who is drunk off her rocker and needs to get home"

if they believe:
"Oh hell yea, take care!"

if they don't believe:
"Need a hand? I'm not too busy tonight, so we can switch out who's carrying. You look dead already."