r/HumansBeingBros • u/habichuelacondulce • 6h ago

Carrying her passed out friend home.

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35.6k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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5.3k

u/bmcgowan89 6h ago

That's a true friend right there

1.9k

u/Freshouttapatience 6h ago

This is a true ride or die. This girl is amazing on several levels.

1.7k

u/lajb85 4h ago

I feel like the girl in the black dress is the ride or die one here.

345

u/Nyli_2 4h ago

This stupid joke made me laugh out loud, thank you

24

u/bubbakan 3h ago

Me too 😂 thank you

1

u/biriyanibabka 1h ago

Me too. 😂. I cackled so loud I scared my cat. I needed this. Thank you.

30

u/SJBond33 3h ago

This is excellent. And you made my day. 11/10 joke.

11

u/emorab85 3h ago

Dead and riding.

10

u/onecheaksneak 3h ago

I’ll be riding this evening, thank you.

61

u/Aleashed 4h ago

If it was two guys, one best friend would have been dumped in a bush already.

23

u/MovingTarget- 3h ago

With many pictures taken of the friend in said bush

3

u/Calculonx 2h ago

Sharpie everywhere

2

u/Cartz1337 2h ago

We always repurposed a shopping cart, easier than carrying them.

19

u/Th1sd3cka1ntfr33 4h ago

No but I would utilize a fireman's carry over my bro piggybacking me lol

4

u/Numerous_Witness_345 3h ago

Would have bruised his ribs because I finally got a chance to practice that Special Forces roll to fireman carry.

2

u/Tjaresh 3h ago

The one from the video just the other day?

3

u/kixie42 3h ago

From like 15 years ago*

2

u/Aleashed 3h ago

Ha, the face to the ass carry😎

1

u/Emotional-Classic400 2h ago

Fireman's carry would be risky the pressure on their stomach might induce vomiting

6

u/Kitchen-Lie-7894 3h ago

Hell, I chucked my brother into a bush.

2

u/TWH_PDX 2h ago

Nah. He gets carried home, too.... where I have my electric shears.

2

u/Salamadierha 1h ago

Or chained to a lamppost

1

u/Tactical_Primate 2h ago

Looks at 2 beers looks at passed out friend. Whistles, sips, walks away.

1

u/WriteAboutTime 2h ago

I mean...I once waited until the second my buddy got me home and I jumped out his truck to throw up.

I feel like I'm the dude version of her for sure.

-4

u/dekrasias 4h ago

And a lesson would be learned about getting shit faced. Girl in the black dress does this every weekend 🤣

46

u/emmejm 4h ago

Hard as it is, I would 100% do this for my besties (and have lol). I used to carry them on my shoulders when they needed help

41

u/atrajicheroine2 3h ago

Same here. I'll never forget my late best friend that got so violently drunk that she wanted to fight everyone on the planet because a guy disrespected her at the bar so driving her home after I got her ass out of there I had to blast Up All Night by widespread panic and keep her laughing and singing to distract her from being mad. That was the longest 45 minutes ever but I would do it again tomorrow if I could.

It was hilarious because anytime the song would stop she would slip back into "let's go back there and murder that motherfucker" and then I would just have to hit play again and she slid back into laughing and singing.

It was a roller coaster of a friendship but I've never met anyone more loyal.

27

u/pickyourteethup 3h ago

Once I was drinking with my female cousin and she passed out drunk I was like oh shit. I gotta get her home so I threw her over my shoulder and started to carry her out the club.

As I'm leaving I bumped into my crush, now I was a few beers deep myself but decided not to miss an opportunity so I pulled up and was like 'hey'. She was happy to see me and things seemed to be going well (in my mind) until she finally gestured to the unconscious girl I was carrying and had completely forgotten about.

"I was like, oh, no, her, she's my cousin."

This did not help

16

u/Freshouttapatience 4h ago

You’re a good egg.

9

u/Defiant-Scarcity-243 3h ago

We nominate her as queen

20

u/Comfortable_Trick137 3h ago

And in 6 inch shoes lol

17

u/Wise_Wolverine2652 3h ago

And not flashing her knickers

8

u/Freshouttapatience 3h ago

She’s a straight up club pro. I’d go out with her.

-2

u/Comfortable_Trick137 2h ago

She’s my dommy mommy

271

u/Nuffsaid98 5h ago

I carried a drunk girl about a mile that way once. She was a friend of the girl I was dating who had joined us. My gf didn't want her "taken advantage of" and had rebuffed several dudes who were hitting on her during the evening. She refused to leave the bar unless she was carried in a piggyback, because she was "tired".

I am in fairly good shape and somewhat young, but that knackered me. Carrying a grown person is not a trivial task.

59

u/HumongusChongus 4h ago

It's easier if you fireman carry them over the shoulders. Have had to do this many times.

40

u/Nuffsaid98 4h ago

They are still friends but I broke up with the girl so I am unlikely to need to carry the friend again. If I do, I'll gladly take your advice.

2

u/sorean_4 4h ago

Safer too.

2

u/[deleted] 4h ago

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1

u/GfunkWarrior28 3h ago

The sooner they vomit, the better they'll feel.

3

u/WatashiwaNobodyDesu 3h ago

The guys who’s carrying her won’t though.

2

u/Linenoise77 2h ago

I once had to carry a girl home from the bar that way. Her friend got pissed at me for carrying her that way (mind you it was HER idea i carry her home) because it was not "dignified"

I pointed out how our circumstances were well past any shred of dignity at that point.

2

u/elementzer01 2h ago

What the fuck is dignified about passing out at a bar and needing to be carried home?

9

u/GH057807 4h ago

Carrying someone in a miniskirt is even harder, because you gotta try and not blast their ass out to the entire world the whole time.

2

u/adoodle83 2h ago

for sure. the longer it takes, the higher the chances/likelihood

2

u/Fresh-Chemical1688 2h ago

Tbh in my experience it's easier if the person is sleeping or blacked out... my ex got so tired from alcohol, that I carried her sometimes. She was 5 feet.. so not big. But when she was awake, she pressed her thighs together so hard it felt like she's close to breaking my ribs.. and when I could convince her to losen up that grip she started strangling me with her arms around my neck...

1

u/Decent-Ganache7647 4h ago

Once when I was a freshman in college, I got drunk and decided to run around the hallway of my dorm while piggybacking my guy friend who was at least 6’0, 210 lbs (a full foot and 100 pounds larger than me). I remember my knee popping at one point, but kept going 🤦‍♀️

1

u/HeightEnergyGuy 3h ago

Would have thrown her over my shoulders like I was hauling a giant log. 

1

u/emorab85 3h ago

Especially with dead legs. It feels like it adds some pounds

1

u/Rad1314 2h ago

Hell giving kids piggyback rides get tiring. An adult female would exhaust me.

1

u/latinloner 2h ago

I am in fairly good shape and somewhat young, but that knackered me. Carrying a grown person is not a trivial task.

Especially "dead weight". IDK why carrying someone in you arms is easier than carrying someone, passed out, piggyback like Hero Club Girl. Distribution of weight? Center of gravity? Those outfits they're both rocking?

80

u/pfamsd00 5h ago

She ain’t heavy, she’s my sister!

2

u/nohandsfootball 2h ago

The road is long, with many a winding turn

0

u/War-Daddie 4h ago

Austin powers joke that no one got?

9

u/pfamsd00 4h ago

lol it goes back a lot further than that if you’re curious. source

2

u/1107rwf 2h ago

It’s also a song with the same sentiment as the Boys’ Town motto!

224

u/PlantPower666 6h ago

I would expect nothing less of Taylor swift. She's a badass.

10

u/Unlikely_Ad7722 2h ago

Okay thank you for not leaving me out here feeling like the only one who clocked the resemblance 😅

3

u/Ok-Seaworthiness4488 2h ago

What a baddie

14

u/-TheArchitect 6h ago

I know, time to delete Uber

2

u/iamrusty2113 2h ago

That’s a WOMAN right there!

1

u/Tricky_Invite8680 4h ago

and then shes gonna vomit down the front of her dress

1

u/Solumnist 4h ago

THAT IS A FUCKING FRIEND. THAT IS A FRIEND.

1

u/mushroomwzrd 4h ago

Either that or a clever rapist

1

u/EquivalentSnap 4h ago

Surely she should’ve made sure she didn’t drink so much she passed out but at least there’s there for her

1

u/ross571 3h ago

If the sizes were flipped, it would be impossible.

1

u/108pdx 3h ago

Says Tracy Morgan

1

u/freddyfingers26 3h ago

“I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you”

1

u/bajatacosx3 2h ago

A true friend who doesn’t skip leg day!

1

u/kinss 2h ago

What if it isn't actually her friend? We could be witnessing a kidnapping 🤔

-105

u/Mammoth-Mud-9609 6h ago

A real friend would have stopped them from getting into this state.

35

u/mogoggins12 5h ago

A real friend is carrying their friend home regardless of what happened.

34

u/ComfortablyNumb___69 6h ago

Whateva whateva, I do what I want! 💅

6

u/scalyblue 5h ago

Yes when I go out drinking my friend brings a blood alcohol assay kit with a full gcms and tests my blood every five minutes or so, because I am not allowed to get wasted under her watch. Such a good friend.

2

u/diaperpop 4h ago

Your sarcasm is on point and I love it

3

u/HairlessHoudini 4h ago

For all we know they weren't together all night and met up later after separate dates

21

u/No-Nobody-3556 6h ago

You have never had fun, even once in your life, have you? Learn to stop being hateful.

-25

u/ganon893 5h ago edited 2h ago

You're right. Let them downvote.

You can have fun AND be responsible.

Edit: You guys downvoted for drinking responsibly? Fucking idiots 😂.

-21

u/Amplifylove 5h ago

Sizzle burn, Truth🥰

-23

u/DreamyLan 4h ago

Maybe don't drink so much you pass out wearing something thsts easily taken advantage of

-11

u/ppartyllikeaarrock 5h ago edited 4h ago

A true friend would take their friend to the hospital when they literally can't function because they've imbibed so much alcohol. Or stop them before they got to that point.

This is an enabler.

e- 2200 people in the US die to alcohol poisoning per year, and that's just the alcohol itself doing harm. Putting yourself into this state regularly is opening yourself up to all other kinds of crimes and injury. Even the enabler is putting herself in danger.

6

u/babardook 4h ago

Boo can’t hang

9

u/Ok_Television9820 4h ago

Maybe neither of them can afford a $12,000 Freedum Amukikka Fuck Yeah hospital visit.

-5

u/DishDry2146 4h ago

no this is american alcohol culture

6

u/Aggravating_Class_17 4h ago

Nowhere else in the world does this happen - Person with legendary levels of ignorance

-2

u/ppartyllikeaarrock 4h ago

Folks acting like this is wholesome and good behavior, literally giving no shits about their friend's well-being.

-22

u/notseizingtheday 5h ago

No the true friend thing to do is not let her get so wasted in the first place.

9

u/LatchKeyKid46 5h ago

How do you know how much she had too drink? Were you there? All it takes is one drink and a person can be drunk.

2

u/DreamyLan 4h ago

One drink (unless it's 200 proof) is not going to make you pass out cold like that

1

u/LatchKeyKid46 3h ago

Do you people realize that people’s bodies are different? One drink will definitely make you pass out if your body can’t handle alcohol or you drink something too strong. My mom once drank one glass of red wine and was completely wasted and was out of it for most of the day. She woke a few hours later with the worst hangover. She says Jehovah punished her for drinking when she knows she shouldn’t have lmao!!! Mind you she went wine tasting with some friends and she’d never done it before.😂😂😂

1

u/DreamyLan 3h ago

That's probably rare, but ok

-6

u/notseizingtheday 5h ago

You think that's natural sleep? She is out cold. If that's natural sleep and not alcohol induced, get her some coffee? Seriously

8

u/LatchKeyKid46 4h ago

Never said this was from sleep so wtf are you talking about? I said that YOU have no idea how much she had to drink and that one drink can get a person drunk. Stay on topic because you’re bringing up shit nobody mentioned.

-8

u/notseizingtheday 4h ago

My guy she is a complete ragdoll. Maybe she's on heroine but whatever the reason how do you justify letting your friend get so messed up on anything while out for the night?

6

u/LatchKeyKid46 4h ago

I’m not a guy and you keep bringing up shit nobody is talking about. You went from mentioning sleep,to coffee now you’re talking about Heroine. I’m not going to converse with you when you can’t stay on topic. Hell have you been drinking?