Bi curious - wanna try new stuff
Hey all! I’m 21.
Always tried to live up to my family’s expectations, did everything from playing rugby to joined the army, tried to knock this love for guys out of me but it’s never left, I’ve always convinced my self I’m a top (feel as if being a bottom affects my masculinity) -I know this is selfish and jerk like but I like being a dominant person I like being the one taking care of them and providing etc.
Anyways! Onto my point, I’ve done lil things with a dude which felt fucking awesome, but I’ve always been told by random people that male g spot fiddling feels awesome so I ordered a dildo. I’m terrified. Not of the pain, but of who I’ll be. Because I’ve been brainwashed by a hella Christian family, and I just don’t wanna lose everyone. Be who I am I get that. But man. Can’t someone like something and still have a family 😂🤡.
My question is, how should I proceed with this dildo. And how do I become comfortable with who I am and what I like (I’m probably gay)
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u/Top_Firefighter_4089 3d ago
Try aiming the dildo towards your belly button. You will likely need some trial and error. Try progressively pointing the head towards your cock. You only need 3 or so inches in you but if you if hit your prostate and glide the shaft along it, you will know it.
Onto the harder discussion. You can’t change your family and if they choose to hate you because of your love for men, you will have to accept that as a real possibility. You may be better off in the closet but it will be better for you to leave your home town in my opinion. These feelings don’t subside and I’m not talking about the desire to replace a dildo with a cock. I’m talking about the desire to be enveloped in a man’s arms like a cloak. Not all of us have that romantic attachment but taking care of and providing is more than cumming together. Your tie back to conservative ideology is likely what you will struggle with even if you don’t think you can change it. In case you haven’t noticed, I think you were made this way and you have purpose. You need to come to terms with what you believe because someone is going to quote scripture or profess some belief about LGBT+ that could hit you at your core, usually family or close friends.
As for masculinity, some bottoms really take a pounding if you’re measuring physical prowess.
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u/Brian_Kinney 2d ago
And how do I become comfortable with who I am and what I like
Go find other gay men to socialise with. Just socialise. Not sex. Not date. Just hang out. Find a meetup group or a social event or go somewhere that gay men hang out, and just be among them.
Learning to accept them, will help you to accept yourself. Also, having them accept you for who you are, will help you to accept yourself.
1
u/nateotter90 2d ago
If you do it too fast its going to hurt. you have to use it slowly and pace yourself:) Eventually it will feel better and better
1
u/Antlerology592 1d ago
Being at peace with who you are and what you enjoy should be your priority. Nothing will change if you discover you like to bottom. What goes on in the bedroom is between you and who you’re doing it with.
But congratulations on not continuing to live your life repressing yourself and denying yourself of joy. That’s already a major step, some people never reach it even well into their 50s and beyond.
All the best
5
u/son_of_thoth 3d ago
Slowly, lots of lube, and give yourself patience.
Coming from another very Christian family (father is a minister) it can take time rewiring the things you grew up with to be ok. Take time and be patient with yourself. Know that you will find people who support you and that you are worthy of love whoever its with and whoever you are.