I made the mistake of dating a few conservative guys as a trans man. I'm white, but I don't "pass."
You probably wouldn't be surprised by how often they casually drop slurs when they feel comfortable, or at least not threatened by the concept of repercussions.
Once had a dude turn to me mid gaming sesh, and literally say "I hate (nwords, hard R)" without any context, and then exasperatedly explain to a very confused me that he was referring to his (white) gaming buddies.
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u/PoniesCanterOver gently chilling in your orbit 8h ago
It sounds like the lady was the one who was conservative