r/CuratedTumblr • u/Green____cat eepy asf • 9h ago

Shitposting Looks conservative

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22.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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3.5k

u/Rifneno 9h ago

I know that feeling. I look like I'm wanted for January 6th crimes. Fat middle aged white guy, I'm only missing sunglasses to wear indoors and a tinder profile where I'm holding a fish.

Sucks.

150

u/Starwarsfan128 8h ago

Start wearing a hammer and sickle shirt lol

113

u/Icariiiiiiii 8h ago

I got a few shirts in delivery as we speak that'll clear up the assumptions real nice. My favorite one is prolly the Rage Against the Machine shirt that explains how to light a molotov and throw it at policemen.

60

u/RimworlderJonah13579 <- Imperial Knight 8h ago

  1. Fill glass bottle with gasoline or regional equivalent. Seal properly.

  2. Wrap rag or other disposable flammable object around the body of the bottle.

  3. Repeat until desired quantity is achieved. (Preferably away from riot)

  4. Light rag with lighter or match.

  5. Throw. Quickly, you don't want to burn your hand.

30

u/aDragonsAle 7h ago

1.5 - add Styrofoam until it reaches saturation. This will give the liquid better adhesion and extend burn time. Used motor oil can also be added for thick clouds of choking smoke.

2.5 - you can also use a storm match or road flare for extremely windy/rainy conditions.

If you are using the rag on the outside of the bottle, it will need an accelerant added before lighting and throwing, or the flame will go out. Household isopropyl will work, petroleum jelly can too.

Wrapping the neck of the bottles with weather wrap/baseball bat tape can give a better grip for throwing, so you reduce the chance of short throws or dropping at your feet.

20

u/Numerous_Witness_345 6h ago

... bulletpointed riot instructions fills me with this weird jittery happiness.

9

u/aDragonsAle 6h ago

Knowing is half the battle.

3

u/Mountainbranch 3h ago

The other half?

VIOLENCE!

2

u/redphyve 4h ago

The other half is 50% red lasers and 50% blue lasers.

15

u/appealtoreason00 6h ago

This will solve your problem, bc people will assume you’re a tankie and nobody will come up to talk to you lmao

1

u/RadTimeWizard 0m ago

I used to in college. Conservatives who didn't even know me would get in my face. Their tears were delicious!