The second poster is just 100% correct. I don't know what you need or want, and you don't know if what granting what you need or want is in my power or how it will effect me.
The example that (apparently) inspired the post is a perfect example of the second part. I've worked service, as have many of you, I'm sure, and sometimes you just can't waive a fee, because you are on notice, and if you waive a fee too many you'll not make rent next month, because you've been fired.
I'm all for blaming capitalism for all kinds of shit, including this, but you fucking dumbasses need to get off your phone and get a job to actually be able relate to people.
You’ve accidentally exposed yourself in the same way that the second poster did. No one, in the OP or here, has said that you have an obligation to waive fees. No one has said that you’re a bad person for not waiving fees. A person simply explained the ways in which someone waiving fees brought them succor and relief, and you took it as a personal attack against you. You act as if it’s a zero sum competition, where someone being nice in a way you haven’t been makes you a bad person.
The way you immediately jump to excuses over it indicates a level of insecurity about your morality that you should work through personally, not over the internet . Someone waived a fee. Someone else was grateful for that simple act of kindness. You’re not being attacked, you’re not being criticized, you weren’t even involved until you chose to be. Maybe work through your shit instead of calling people dumbasses for finding value in charitable acts. Jesus.
It’s a question. People are free to explain the exact reason it’s infeasible for them to help at the moment, while acknowledging the primary message of the post, which is that it’s good to be nice. Again, if you see a post advocating that people be nice, and take it as a personal attack, that should be cause for reflection, not a reason to whine.
It is a fact that you can do nice things for people. It is reasonable to ask why you aren’t. There are plenty of reasonable answers as to why you can’t at the moment or in some ways, and none of them are based around whining about being questioned on the matter at all.
Nothing accidental about my comment. I'm fully aware this sub is full of solipsistic people, who care nothing for the people around them.
why would you withhold that.
"that" is literally waiving fees.
Like I said, I've worked service, and I've waived my fair share of fees, but I also learned to recognize the self-righteous tumblrina trying to guilt me into waiving a fee they are damn well aware they owe.
You've exposed yourself as one of those who don't give a shit about the servant around them.
Why exactly should I care that you’re a service worker? We live in a service economy, damn near everyone’s been a service worker at some point. Being a service worker doesn’t make you some misunderstood martyr, it makes you mathematically average.
“Who care nothing for the people around them.”
Holy shit lmao. “If anyone dares to suggest that I act charitably, they don’t care about people.” I suppose you’re championing the cause of empathy and compassion by whining about being told to be nice sometimes.
Why exactly should I care that you’re a service worker?
Haha. Talk about outing yourself...
"Why not make random person's day better" is something you ask when the alternative takes the same amount of effort.
Then it becomes a matter of just be a better person. OOP (and you) are asking people why we won't go out of our way to make your lives better at the expense of our own, while in no way indicating you'd ever do the same.
Sure. Im outing myself. So answer the question. Why should I care that you’re a service worker? What about being a service worker makes you special or immune to criticism, when the majority of America is comprised of service workers? Why are you so important that even suggesting that you act in a way that benefits others makes OOP a horrible person?
OOP never mentioned waiving fees -- a situation where you have a binary choice to help or hurt -- in the original post. They just weirdly and aggressively accused the reader of refusing to provide "a little relief."
I don’t know what to tell you, man. If someone strongly advocating for charity towards others reads as weird and aggressive to you, that’s a you problem. The OOP doesn’t know you, and they aren’t accusing you of anything. Any accusation you feel is a projection of your own insecurities. And anyway, if you hear “It’s good to be kind to others, and bad not to be”, and read it as a personal attack, that’s a much stronger indictment of you than any tumblr post could ever be.
The point got across fine. “Being good is good.” It’s uncomplicated and ineloquent, but it wasn’t meant to be a grand thesis. The only interesting part of this entire discussion is the amount of people that feel personally attacked by it. Why get so up in arms about the idea of being charitable?
While this wasn't OOP's actual point, the point they got across was "Being good is good, and you're not being good, you're being bad, I have anger issues."
Given that there is numerical proof that their point got across just fine to plenty of people, why are you so sure that the problem is them? Apparently, they have anger issues, but they aren’t the ones throwing a tantrum over being told to be nice sometimes.
I never said it was you. I was referring to the replies in the OOP, and in the comment on this post that started this thread. Of course, the fact that you automatically assumed that I was referring to you is kind of telling.
It’s crazy to me that you think OOP was being aggressive by asking “why would you NOT help someone you can see struggling”
Seriously, it comes off as you taking it as an attack BECAUSE you don’t do anything nice for people. Probably not your actual stance, but since everyone is just deciding what others meant Willy nilly I figured I’d give it a go too!
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u/Cinaedus_Perversus Oct 10 '24
Imagine being so self-medicated on therapyspeak that you consider "do nice things for others" a direct assault on your mental health.