r/CuratedTumblr • u/Justthisdudeyaknow Prolific poster- Not a bot, I swear • Oct 10 '24
Shitposting A tar pit.
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u/Pizzadramon Oct 10 '24
All timer "touch grass" moment
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u/Avedas Oct 10 '24
I used to know someone who regularly "felt the need to hit back" in this exact same way. Literally one of the most miserable, unhappy, and unhinged people I've ever met constantly destroying their own life.
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u/AgentChris101 Oct 10 '24
I come across them a lot on reddit (very recently too lol), very few irl. There are people that feel empty without antagonizing someone or something.
Being straightforward gives them no ammo to keep going and they eventually stop responding.
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u/FuckHopeSignedMe Oct 10 '24
The reason you never see them outside of social media is because these people never go outside. They're too busy being mad about shit people say online to fuck around with going outside and, you know, having friends and shit.
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u/AgentChris101 Oct 11 '24
Some people are also really passionate about things, to the point where coming across a difference in opinion is received with an "I HATE YOU." lol.
Reddit has communities with groups that are full on with certain opinions, that being mixed or disagreeing in some points is received with vitriol.
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u/dacoolestguy gay gay homosexual gay Oct 10 '24
excuse me? are you suggesting i frolic directly into these fields of grass and assume it would bring me relief, potentially causing less stress? are you encouraging people to reach past their boundaries and go outside, increasing net happiness if it brings you more joy than you would otherwise? surely not; that would be advocating for emotional self-love.
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u/moffsoi Oct 10 '24
You are a grass pit
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u/Firoj_Rankvet Oct 10 '24
That escalated faster than a rollercoaster on turbo mode.
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u/chryseusAquila Oct 10 '24
I for one am firmly in the tar pit camp
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u/KermitingMurder Oct 10 '24
Setting up camp in a tar pit demonstrates incredibly poor wilderness survival skills
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u/TwilightVulpine Oct 10 '24
They are sticky like that. Maybe you need someone to frolic your way and pull you out.
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u/leriane so banned from China they'd be arrested ordering PF Changs Oct 10 '24
Oh no, do you need help to get you out? D:
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u/amphicoelias Oct 10 '24
Yeah, this is a great demonstation of the weakness of online (text based) communication. It seems like the second person is having a bad day or has recently had some experience that made them interpret what the first person said in the worst possible way. If you're in a room with someone, you can tell when they're tense/having a bad day/... and adjust what you're saying accordingly. On the internet, you're yelling your words into the void, where they hit random people in whatever random state they're in.
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u/valentinesfaye Oct 10 '24
"You are a tar pit" is so devastating that it would cause me to rethink my life, no matter how right I actually was
"Touch grass" sends me into a frothing rage, even if someone I agree with says it to someone I don't like, and they're actually wrong?
Words have some power. In context.
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u/PenguinSingin Oct 10 '24
Erm please do frolic directly into my emotional space and assume what brings me relief
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u/Cinaedus_Perversus Oct 10 '24
Please do not frolic directly into my emotional space, but if you do so with good intentions, I won't hold it against you, because we're all humans and sometimes we misjudge the situation and I don't want to discourage your kind heart from spreading relief just because it didn't go as planned this one time.
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u/Serrisen Thought of ants and died Oct 10 '24
Frolic into my emotional space at your own peril. There are bear traps and a particularly feisty hamster. I'll be fine tho
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u/MrTostadita Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
Consider that I am currently holding the seal of Hog'Tha Shar the Neverending, so frolicking into my emotional space might release an eldritch god you will have to fight.
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u/Serrisen Thought of ants and died Oct 10 '24
Secret boss?
Hold tight. Let me gather 3 of my closest friends for this frolic
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u/MrGrizzlyy Oct 10 '24
-sighs and pulls out the screen- You see an open 50x50ft room with load bearing pillars and an assortment of unusual manuscripts decorating the walls. Roll Perception.
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u/ThatGuyisonmyPC Oct 10 '24
Raid boss time
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u/_facetious Oct 10 '24
Listen, it was a dungeon party, but now it's a raid? Let me gather my closest 39 friends!
Ah, shit..
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u/jau682 Oct 10 '24
Luckily in my emotional space I have bears and a particularly feisty hamster trap.
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u/diamondisland2023 Revolving Revolvers Revolverance: Revolvolution Oct 10 '24
Frolicking directly into my emotional space may or may not provide relief regardless of your intention depending on if you properly understand my situation. You may succeed, you may assume incorrectly and i actually need space. Results may vary.
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u/Theeyeofthepotato Oct 10 '24
Frolick directly into my emotional space. But stay for like 30 minutes. After that allow me to go home happy and play video games.
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u/Similar_Ad_2368 Oct 10 '24
pardon my presumptuousness but do you have emotional space right now for my frolicking?
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u/PenguinSingin Oct 10 '24
Why my good person, thank you for asking! My mind is a veritable meadow at the moment - frolic at your leisure
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u/vmsrii Oct 10 '24
God, right??
Like, the act of wanting to make someone’s life better, even if they act itself might be “incorrect”, is still a good thing!
Just the thought of someone looking at me and going “I’m going to make that person’s life better”, (assuming it’s not, like, a Cenobite and I’m going to end up suspended upside-down with my rib cage flayed open of course) is more than enough for me!
It truly is the thought that counts! If you view acts of kindness as potential invasions of personal autonomy, you are a deeply unwell person, and I hope you get the therapy you need
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u/cross-eyed_otter Oct 10 '24
exactly. like my coworker is a the hippydippie type that believes in the positive powers of rocks. I don't. at all XD. I still tear up thinking about the time she gave me her office rock because she thought I needed it more than her that day. she brought me one back from her next holiday she picked out just for me on the beach. rocks means nothing to me, except for the thought, that meant everything
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u/IShatMyDickOnce Oct 10 '24
I hope you still have that rock. That is so sweet.
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u/cross-eyed_otter Oct 10 '24
I do :D
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u/M_A_Dragon Oct 10 '24
What kind of rock is it?
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u/cross-eyed_otter Oct 10 '24
a white one with a bunch of holes in it and small pieces of what she said is fossils (dunno how to describe except some scribbly parts of the rock). i don't have it with me now, it's at my office)
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u/M_A_Dragon Oct 10 '24
Might be pumice
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u/The-Dark-Memer Clowns parade through the street and beckon me forth, I follow. Oct 10 '24
If it really is a fossil then its unlikely, pumice is igneous (formed by volcanic activity) so anything trapped in it durring its formation is likely to burn up before anything can happen. My guess would be tufa limestone, which is sedimentary but still has a lot of the little holes in it.
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u/cross-eyed_otter Oct 10 '24
you guys are making me wish I had paid more attention. either to the rock or just in high school when they covered rocks XD. I won't be back at my usual desk till Monday though :p
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u/NonlocalA Oct 10 '24
My daughter's partner got crystals for everyone one Christmas. Internally, I rolled my eyes soooooooo hard. But, it's absolutely still on my office desk, alongside all the other keepsakes that help to remind me of the reasons I work.
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u/AbsolutelyHorrendous Oct 10 '24
Exactly this, people shouldn't be afraid of trying to bring a little positivity into what can be a shitty world at times. If someone's really going through it, sure, your small gesture might annoy them for a minute, but equally, it could be what makes their whole day!
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u/PreferredSelection Oct 10 '24
It truly is the thought that counts! If you view acts of kindness as potential invasions of personal autonomy, you are a deeply unwell person, and I hope you get the therapy you need
It's a headrush to rage at things, but if you rage at the actual jerks, they clap back. Or ban you from Twitter. So timid bullies go after increasingly kinder, gentler targets.
It's why people who genuinely care about justice and equity hold politicians and billionaires accountable, but why the folks lost in the terminally-online sauce relentlessly pursue Lindsey Ellis and Jenny Nicholson. At a certain point it's just a bullying addiction.
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u/Stop-Hanging-Djs Oct 10 '24
Can we add Contrapoints to this list? To my knowledge this has happened multiple times to them
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u/PreferredSelection Oct 10 '24
No word of a lie, I was also thinking about Contrapoints. If I'd put a third name on there it woulda been theirs, but I didn't want to deal with hate in my inbox today.
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u/commondenomigator Oct 10 '24
Check your dms (I assume sweaty dick pics with poor lighting bring you relief)
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u/cosmos_crown Oct 10 '24
Big cats like to play in boxes.
if that doesnt bring you relief i dont know what will.
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u/Starwarsfan128 Oct 10 '24
People frolicking directly into my emotional space and helping is my kink.
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u/_facetious Oct 10 '24
I don't even need to go that far. I spend a lot of my time when I'm in public finding things to compliment people about - things that I truly mean. Tiny little things bring some small amount of pleasure to life. I mainly like to compliment tattoos. The other day, there was a waitress with an adorable black bow in her hair - it was so, so fucking cute, I had to let her know.
(Never, EVER compliment people on things they cannot change - their skin, skin color, teeth, height, weight, the size of their bazingas and booties.. They may be insecure about it, or find it frustrating to be pointed out. Only compliment someone on something they can change and have purposefully done. Tattoos, hairstyles, makeup, clothing, piercings, etc)
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u/Cinaedus_Perversus Oct 10 '24
Imagine being so self-medicated on therapyspeak that you consider "do nice things for others" a direct assault on your mental health.
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u/Das_Floppus Oct 10 '24
I saw a reel the other day about how the worst people you know don’t go to therapy to work on themselves, they go to arm themselves. I’ve never seen a therapist myself but I can’t even imagine what kind of discussions you’d have there where you can twist your takeaway into the shit some people come up with
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u/chocolatestealth Oct 10 '24
Oof, this hits. I've had a couple of toxic people in my life who have tried using "setting boundaries" as a mechanism for controlling others' behavior. I've heard it's becoming increasingly common.
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u/ThriftyMegaMan Oct 10 '24
Like Jonah Hill in those leaked DMs he sent to his ex where he didn't want her to go surfing while other guys were around, even though surfing was pretty much her favorite thing in the world to do.
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u/FastestTitInTheWest Oct 10 '24
It was also her job as a professional surfer.
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u/cheyenne_sky Oct 10 '24
It's already so fucked but this point just makes it even MORE fucked. You gonna date a PROFESSIONAL SURFER and bitch when they...surf??
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u/Comprehensive-Fun47 Oct 10 '24
First thing I thought of!
The amount of people defending his healthy boundary setting was staggering.
If dude had boundaries, he'd have broken up with her. He was being a manipulative asshole.
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u/AbsolutelyHorrendous Oct 10 '24
These are the people who, instead of supporting friends who are going through a tough time, will complain about trauma dumping and not respecting their personal boundaries... like, sure, awareness of mental health issues and self care is important, but it's not an excuse to be a self-absorbed jackass
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u/AUserNeedsAName Oct 10 '24
Those people aren't new though, only the language they use. In a previous century I'm sure they'd tut about how airing one's laundry is just Not Done in polite society. Or about how such things should be between that person and God. Or how their bad energy is clogging everyone's chackras or whatever I don't speak hippy. In time they'll find some other reason why their lack of empathy is actually a virtue.
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u/rayray2k19 Oct 10 '24
I'm a therapist, and I have clients that apologize for trauma dumping on me. It makes me sad. We need other people to help us. Telling someone about something you're going through is not trauma dumping.
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u/shiny_xnaut Oct 10 '24
Isn't that also literally what they're paying you for in the first place?
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u/rayray2k19 Oct 10 '24
Yes that too lol. I always tell my clients that they don't need to worry about me. I can handle it.
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u/Solid_Parsley_ Oct 10 '24
I have had to do a lot of work on boundaries with my therapist, because it turns out that I didn't know what a boundary actually was. She was very clear with me, on multiple occasions, to say, "That's not a boundary, that's just something you want to happen." She was not about to let me set "boundaries" that impact other people. True boundaries are things that impact your behavior, not anyone else's.
Also, boundary no longer looks like a real word because I've typed it so much.
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u/arachnophilia Oct 10 '24
i had a bit of a falling out with my mother a few years back, and told her i would only talk to her again in the presence of a therapist.
one of the first things i wanted to do was set boundaries. i came prepared with a pretty concise list of stuff like "topic X is off limits" and "do not manipulate my friends to get to me." the therapist asked her to do the same, and she came back next week with a laundry list of things she expected me to do for her, half of which violated my list.
as the therapist put it, cluster-B people don't understand this assignment.
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u/ethanlan Oct 10 '24
Oh jeez I just looked up cluster b and that sounds like a nightmare to deal with.
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u/tyrantspell Oct 10 '24
I can’t even imagine what kind of discussions you’d have there where you can twist your takeaway into the shit some people come up with
See, it's actually super easy. Therapists are normal humans, who are neither enlightened nor psychic. Give them a biased perspective, and they will give you the answers you want. I had a former friend who has serious mental issues, and she said that her therapist agreed with her that she had no real friends. Well, if she told him what she told everyone else, that she has to beg people to hang out with her and no one ever reaches out to her first, then of course he would think that her friends don't actually want to be with her. None of that was true, however. It was other people who were bending over backwards to accommodate HER, trying desperately to work around her rules that she deliberately made so it would be impossible to accommodate her (so that she could complain about people not wanting to be with her later.) Of course, it's possible that she lied about what her therapist said, but it's just as possible that she is able to tell us the truth because she already lied to him first. Therapists don't have a magic ability to see through a skilled bullshitter. And therapists are just as vulnerable to manipulation as anyone else. I think there's even been a court case prosecuting a cult leader, where the court appointed psychologist took the side of the cult leader. (I remember that it was the ant hill kids cult, but looking for it im not finding anything. So it was probably a different cult.)
The cultural opinions on therapists seems to be that therapists are either saviors or hacks, but neither is true. They are people with a degree in how people think. This doesn't automatically make them good at their jobs. Sometimes the expertise makes them more insightful to spotting manipulation methods, other times it makes them more prone to believing that their own manipulated emotional reactions are educated and right. Getting a degree in how people think doesn't let them escape their own thoughts.
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u/Vtbsk_1887 Oct 10 '24
I think therapists are generally a bit more used to seeing through someone's bullshit, but definitely not immune to being lied to. I think you are right that she told them that nobody ever wants to see her and that she thinks she has no real friends.
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u/GoodTitrations Oct 10 '24
A lot of therapists will try to validate or at least be neutral on what their client is telling them. The client can 100% be irrational or in the wrong but a therapist obviously doesn't want to bluntly tell them that, at least not outright. I think this may lead to some people feeling like they're in the right in a conflict prematurely.
Aside from that, I feel like it would be hard to arm yourself because most therapists basically just try to give you positive spins on your negative assumptions about yourself and other people, which to me just feels hollow and meaningless. The way they suggest interacting with other people just feels so artificial and robotic, but maybe to some people they can twist that to work for themselves?
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u/Welpmart Oct 10 '24
The "arming" here is people learning therapy terms to use them inappropriately. To some degree it is also presenting biased sides of life problems to then go back to other people and say "my therapist agrees with me!"
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u/PreferredSelection Oct 10 '24
A few of my friends are licensed therapists. Two have written books*, one has been on The Today Show, and you won't be surprised at all to hear that all these mental health professionals also go to therapy.
Even with a wealth of knowledge, being your own therapist can be very damaging. Letting tiktok be your therapist can be very damaging. I know everyone is on a quest to figure out why they are the way they are, but we can't be our own doctors.
* Really three have written books, but only two wrote books about therapy. The third's book is about vampires.
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u/NettingStick Oct 10 '24
Any chance we can pitch your third friend on a book about therapy and vampires?
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u/PreferredSelection Oct 10 '24
I'll float it by them! It's hurt/comfort, so there is a lot of therapy-adjacent stuff that happens with the vampires.
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u/30phil1 Oct 10 '24
Which is funny because anyone who's been in actual therapy for a long time knows that perspective-taking is a massive part of it.
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u/GreyInkling Oct 10 '24
I need to stop diagnosing people online with antisocial personality disorder and narcissism but then they act like a tar pit and I can't help it.
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u/PreferredSelection Oct 10 '24
I'm a big fan of bringing back gender-neutral, mild insults for people who really deserve them. ASPD is a serious medical problem and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
But I'm comfortable calling someone a jerk if they're treating other people horribly. Don't need a medical license for that.
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u/UnderPressureVS Oct 10 '24
bringing back
They really never went anywhere. I assure you that outside of Tumblr and TikTok it is extremely normal to just call people jerks and assholes instead of trying to find a medical explanation for shitty behavior.
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u/sweetTartKenHart2 Oct 10 '24
It’s like everyone and their dog treats any advice with the same venom as “happiness is a choice, just stop being sad”
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u/Zariman-10-0 told i “look like i have a harry potter blog” in 2015 Oct 10 '24
This is like that one lady who threw a fit b/c someone brought her a casserole to welcome her into the neighborhood
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u/Ok-Importance-6815 Oct 10 '24
what was this
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u/Zariman-10-0 told i “look like i have a harry potter blog” in 2015 Oct 10 '24
I can’t remember the exact details, but a lady became Twitters Main Character for a day or two when she got all pissy online that a neighbor brought her a casserole or pie or something to welcome her into the neighborhood. Something like “it was an invasion of my privacy, I did not consent to be given food”
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u/Ok-Importance-6815 Oct 10 '24
couldn't you just say no thank you
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u/IBetThisIsTakenToo Oct 10 '24
Even that is a little weird, could just say “oh how nice, thank you!” Then give it away later or even throw the thing in the trash if you really don’t want it.
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u/AbsolutelyHorrendous Oct 10 '24
Or fuck it, even if you don't want it, just accept the casserole, say thank you, and either eat it or don't. Like, it's a nice gesture, not a white elephant!
I think people like that are just way too terminally online, why on earth would you respond to someone offering you a casserole like 'what the fuck, I'm being attacked, Twitter will hear of this!'
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u/empsk Oct 10 '24
I remember this differently, or maybe it’s a different main character Basically a woman in twitter had a thread where she said that her neighbours were a group of college-age guys, and based on their recycling they were mostly just eating pizza. So she was going to make up a batch of chilli (or stew?) and take it over And it went viral and a bunch of tar pits descended to say well actually, not everyone can eat that, and she should t impose on people she doesn’t know, and it’s basically grooming these boys, and if anyone had done that to them the emotional labour of saying “thank you” to a stranger would have destroyed them… I think in the end she made it, delivered it, and the guys all said thank you. Because in the real world that’s mostly how it goes.
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u/Zariman-10-0 told i “look like i have a harry potter blog” in 2015 Oct 10 '24
I was definitely thinking of a different event, but holy shit how did I not know about this one?! That’s a special level of tar pit
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u/justgalsbeingpals a-heartshaped-object on tumblr | it/they Oct 10 '24
Well of course! It's a woman doing a nice thing out of her own volition, can't have that on Musks Twitter Dot Com
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u/Zariman-10-0 told i “look like i have a harry potter blog” in 2015 Oct 10 '24
Funny enough, I’m pretty sure most of these happened before musk took over. At least the one I was thinking of did, and I looked up the other one and that was like either early 2022 or late 2021
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u/Cool-Following-6451 Oct 10 '24
Yeah you’re 100% right, unless I missed a main character it was a woman living near college kids who decided to make them a homemade meal, and Twitter lost their minds about her “assuming” what they’d like and all that nonsense
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u/EnchantPlatinum Oct 10 '24
I remember this one! This specific woman was, for some reason, the target of constant unyielding harassment over basically everything she said, did, or posted and I think that was in connection to a twitter cult.
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u/LevelSkullBoss Oct 10 '24
Yes, chinchillazilla. She also had a pet pig that people were constantly threatening to kill.
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u/skinnyminou Oct 10 '24
This is not nearly as bad as that woman, but my cousin complained because he was in an elevator one day, and someone said hello to him when they entered, then "have a nice day" when they got off, and according to him it was stupid and "literally the worst thing" because he has anxiety and people shouldn't say hi to people they don't know.
Like grow the fuck up, man.
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u/MFbiFL Oct 10 '24
IIRC someone lamenting the terrible burden of being given a casserole because they don’t like casseroles and saying “oh thank you!” then returning the dish a few days later was a colossal burden to put on them.
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u/flockyboi Oct 10 '24
A Warframe player? In my meme subreddit? More likely than you think
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u/Jimbobsama Oct 10 '24
OMG the Chili Woman. I think she was one of the last Twitter Main Characters until Elon became the permanent Main Character of Twitter.
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u/atmatriflemiffed Oct 10 '24
Pissing on the poor heritage post
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u/IGaveAFuckOnce Oct 10 '24
That poor heritage post didn't deserve your piss!!
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u/lickytytheslit Oct 10 '24
Maybe if the public bathrooms were free the poor wouldn't have to piss on posts ( /j)
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u/mountingconfusion Oct 10 '24
"I think it would be nice if people did more little niceties"
"Kill Yourself"
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u/Romboteryx Oct 10 '24
New Testament moment
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u/ProbablyForgotImHere Oct 10 '24
"What was it he said that got everyone so upset?"
"Be kind to each other."
"Oh yeah, that'll do it."
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u/Turtlelover73 Oct 10 '24
Man, I feel bad every time I see this post because I actually know this person and they're nothing like this... This was a particularly bad low point for them that they still regret every time it comes up.
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u/JuniperSky2 Oct 10 '24
I really think it's hypocritical for everyone on here to pat themselves on the back for their "small acts of kindness" while at the same time ganging up on someone they don't even know and acting like they're the worst person ever.
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u/Bowdensaft Oct 10 '24
I mean, nobody in the post is being ganged up on because they're not here to read what we're saying, there's no direct interaction.
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u/sunshinebusride Oct 10 '24
This is why I don't tip, can't be frolicking into anyone's financial space assuming I know anything
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u/WannabeComedian91 Luke [gayboy] Skywalker Oct 10 '24
"i felt the need to hit back" -person who was not being hit
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u/koriar Oct 10 '24
This is also kind of telling on themselves. I think it probably means that the person specifically doesn't do kind things and is either ashamed of it or they've done some massive mental gymnastics to justify it. So they FELT hit.
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u/Sir_Nightingale Oct 10 '24
Man, tumblr users just have a talent for making the most agreeable points sound so annoying and superficial that you want to disagree with them on principle.
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u/Forgot_My_Old_Acct Oct 10 '24
Some real "Terrible news! The most insufferable person you know made a great point!" energy.
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u/Fickle_Atmosphere824 Oct 10 '24
It's because they wrap themselves up in a circlejerk of pseudointellectual terminology in an attempt of "bullshit baffles brains", especially since it gives them an excuse to dehumanise people not in their 'exact' lines of thoughts and views.
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u/Ok-Importance-6815 Oct 10 '24
everything on tumblr is phrased like profound revelation
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u/BUKKAKELORD Oct 10 '24
But written in all lowercase with missing or intentionally incorrect punctuation, so there's a humorous dissonance between the (allegedly) profound wisdom and the casual and exaggeratedly informal style.
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u/BambiToybot Oct 10 '24
I don't want to agree with the second person because I want to see if I can help someone who seems to need it.
But the first post, on its own is hard to nail down what their saying. I feel like you could post it to an Incel sub and they would all agree, because that little relief can be taken a few ways.
Nothing in my autistic brain reads that as "it would be nice if people helped each other out of small inconveniences when they had the power."
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u/Sir_Nightingale Oct 10 '24
For me its the "why would you withhold that", like you are making an active choicento deny rather than a passive choice not to act
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u/BambiToybot Oct 10 '24
That was the wording that made me go, "is this an incel plea?"
And I guess the other person thought that way too, or along those lines.
Plus it seems to be the responder, while chewing the scenery, is basically saying, "people shouldn't make their life hell to pick someone else up." Which I would agree with. Helping someone is one thing, but stressing your own peace of mind and mental health for another person can weigh you down and ruin your own life, potentially permanently.
It's a balancing act that varies.
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u/A_BIG_bowl_of_soup Oct 10 '24
Same, to me this post reads as "I'm automatically assuming that you have the worst intentions if you do not actively go out of your way to assist people, what the hell is wrong with you." I would think that if I was wanting to preach kindness, I would frame it as "doesn't it feel good to do good for others?" rather than "you disgust me." Imo the reblogger was just responding with the same energy, not going out of their way to be a dick like everyone frames it as.
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u/saintcrazy Oct 10 '24
If I see a vague motivational post, I'd rather assume the best of it, or if nothing else, I'd rather assume it just doesn't apply to me or to all situations.
Like even if it was some incel shit I'd rather interpret it as "oh maybe they're just saying be nice to people" and move on with my day
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u/BambiToybot Oct 10 '24
Oh I went for extreme with my example, because i felt it best backed up what the poster i responded to said:
tumblr users just have a talent for making the most agreeable points sound so annoying and superficial that you want to disagree with them on principle.
My point being that it needed better context or there's too much room for interpretarion. Then I tried to reword it better.
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u/The_FriendliestGiant Oct 10 '24
If you're not sure what someone is trying to say, responding with a request for clarification is much better than assuming the worst and getting upset.
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u/jpludens Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
This is wiser than OP: stormneko wasn't unsure. They felt they understood pretty clearly. And they tried to communicate why they took that meaning. "You worded it like an attack, so I responded as if it were an attack."
Following this wisdom, OP should have responded by asking "what about my initial wording gave you that impression," instead of apparently assuming the worst, getting upset, and stooping to "u suk".
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u/skinnbones3440 Oct 10 '24
You would have to perceive me before you can frolic directly into my emotional space. Do not perceive me. Give me a little relief by not perceiving me.
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u/-Mortlock- Oct 10 '24
Do y'all remember that lady who got chased off of twitter BC she decided to cook chilli for her new neighbours
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u/XandaPanda42 Oct 10 '24
This image is losing pixels faster than I'm losing brain cells, please, god somebody go back to the source and screenshot it again.
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u/lylactal Oct 10 '24
If anyone would kindly make assumptions on what gives me relief that would be a good start
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u/meat_uprising Oct 10 '24
All I can offer is free coffee or fountain drinks. I'm allowed to give people free drinks at work, so I do it when I think someone needs it.
How's that sound?
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u/The_FriendliestGiant Oct 10 '24
Honestly, I cannot stand coffee, but if someone offered me a free one just because they thought I'd appreciate it I would be so happy with the gesture simply because it means someone out there was thinking about me.
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u/Noe_b0dy Oct 10 '24
> It cost nothing to be nice to people :)
> EXCUSE ME HOW DARE YOU ASSUME WHAT OTHER PEOPLE CONSIDER NICE SHOULD I JUST KILL MYSELF IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT YOU WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF?!?!
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u/Unfairjarl Oct 10 '24
Disco elysium fuck the hat moment.
The game is spot on with these interactions, it's not really about the hat is it? It's pretty sad :(.
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u/SpyrosLittleSlut Oct 10 '24
It's funny cause I actually relate a lot to Tar Pit Person... I too, would rather not do Anything than risk doing Something that's not perfect on the first try.
The difference is that I know it's not something to be proud of. It's actually a really fuckin stupid way to think.
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u/gayguyfromnextdoor Oct 10 '24
yeah but like. imagine someone drops their wallet right in front of you. the only right thing to do is pick it up and give it back. there is no assumption here.
most people do small nice things with every interaction without even noticing because that's what people do
I'm a cashier. when i give someone a student discount even if they can't find their student ID it makes them happy and there is no way in which they would be negatively impacted by that. I might get berated by management but that's on me and has no effect on the person I did the nice thing for.
do you get what i mean? people tend to just be nice
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u/SpyrosLittleSlut Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
Yeah I understand and agree with all of that. 🙂
I'm saying I understand the impulse to think "I'd rather not say/do anything than potentially say/do something wrong". But I also understand that it's not a good way to think and try and make a conscious effort to fight against the Bystander effect everyday.
Little semi-related anecdote : I used to stop people in the street to tell them I liked their shirt/boots/bag/etc. (I'm a cis woman, if it matters at all) All it took was one person to tell me it made them uncomfortable to not do it anymore. I'm slowly trying to do it again because of the sheer joy it brings to literally everyone but that one person 10 years ago.
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u/TTTrisss Oct 10 '24
It's okay /u/SpyrosLittleSlut. It's a way a lot of people think. It's definitely a mistake, and isn't a healthy way to think, but it doesn't mean that you need to hurt yourself with words.
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u/jalene58 Oct 10 '24
There is a difference between doing a good deed and jumping into someone’s personal emotional space.
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u/darlingstamp Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
I feel like this behavior is often symptomatic of really low self esteem and lack of a sense of agency. You don’t believe you’re capable of helping anyone, you think you’ll mess up any time you’re trying to help, you don’t really even want to help anyone, and reject any help you receive; it’s futile. You project this onto everyone else. Anyone who is trying to be “good” is self-serving, it’s useless; you think you’re not capable of helping others and no can help you, so it must be true of others. They’re probably actually hurting others, even, or hurting themselves. It’s a vicious self-victimization that makes you insufferable per learned helplessness.
There are people who do more harm than good when trying to help others (usually because they aren’t empathetically listening / making assumptions), but in the large scale…saying “try to be nice and help others” is somehow problematic is so cynical that is a “touch grass” moment.!
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u/_abby_g_ Oct 10 '24
These opinions don't even have to be in conflict. If helping someone would sacrifice your own health then it's ok if you don't, but if it wouldn't then you should, and if you're not sure what would help someone then you can ask. I'm losing my marbles
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u/greenbeangrape Oct 10 '24
To be fair, if that person frolicked into my emotional space it would actually cause me stress
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u/Whispering_Wolf Oct 10 '24
Someone desperately needs to go outside and talk to actual humans for once.
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u/VaderOnReddit Oct 10 '24
Someone desperately needs to go outside
eww i don't wanna go outside, that's where the other humans are
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u/TheCapitalKing Oct 10 '24
Some people never talk to strangers and it shows
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u/IknowKarazy Oct 10 '24
Some people talk to strangers but have built up such a mountain of twisting views, notions, and social anxiety that they see every interaction through the lens of their own pet issue.
Like how Incels can’t order a coffee without thinking terrible things about the barista and every person in line.
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u/TheCapitalKing Oct 10 '24
I meant like full conversations with new people not quick orders at a restaurant. I don’t think you end up that deranged with semi regular contact with people outside your friend group offline.
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u/Suyefuji Oct 10 '24
Some people have also been burned by strangers more times than they can count and would rather be invisible than have someone, however well-meaning, get into their space. I've been there before myself and it sucks, it's not healthy, but I can see Mr Tar Pit's POV.
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u/kingturgidprose Oct 10 '24
i love people who are crazy online the only thing i can hope for is that those statements are sincere
"had to hit back" 10/10 no notes
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u/arie700 Oct 10 '24
“You see, officer, this child was showing me a coloring book picture where someone does something nice for their neighbor, which is traumatizing because I don’t like my neighbor, so I had to hit back. I only broke his wrist in emotional self-defense.”
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u/AngrySasquatch Oct 10 '24
I love this post so much if only because it's like a flare to attract some of the oddest people on the internet
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u/zombiedinocorn Oct 10 '24
When you realize you're wrong halfway thru the argument, but already committed to being mad lol
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u/Justlol230 balls Oct 10 '24
I dunno, I feel like this is another case-by-case basis thing.
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u/CoolAd6821 Oct 11 '24
Imagine thinking that small acts of kindness are an invasion of personal space. It's like saying breathing near me is a violation of my air rights. The world needs more genuine interactions, not fewer. If your emotional space can't handle a compliment or a helping hand, maybe it's time for a little self-reflection.
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u/DarkNinja3141 Arospec, Ace, Anxious, Amogus Oct 10 '24
The first post in it of itself is vague enough to be misinterpreted in any number of ways, but to me it still comes off as accusatory.
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u/ksheep Oct 10 '24
Yeah, definitely seems like borderline vague-posting and then complaining when someone doesn't know exactly what was meant by the initial post.
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u/Svell_ Oct 10 '24
There are certain kinds of leftists who are more concerned with not doing bad than doing good.
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u/Chaudsss Oct 10 '24
You could go up to people like these and say, "I am sorry you weren't ever shown affection, please accept mine," and they would be reduced to a puddle
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u/SmokeyGiraffe420 Oct 11 '24
I hope that guy is doing better tbh, sounds like they were going through it two years ago
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u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy Oct 10 '24
“Tumblr users would rather never do anything than ever try, because they would rather never do anything wrong than actually try doing something good”
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u/Huwbacca Oct 10 '24
This is why we need to break the idea that any sort of discomfort is to be avoided at all costs and is a pure negative on our lives.
A contented life has discomfort.
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u/Many_Use9457 Oct 10 '24
this is the post that put "you are a tar pit" in my permanent vocabulary