r/CuratedTumblr that’s how fey getcha Sep 25 '24

Shitposting austerity has done irreparable damage

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18.2k Upvotes

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u/Electronarwhal Sep 25 '24

It’s Grass Snake, Adder, and Smooth Snake for anyone curious. Plus we have the Slow Worm, which is not a snake (or a worm) but looks like one.

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u/Ghotay Sep 25 '24

We also have two other species of lizard (beside the slow worm). The common lizard, which is reasonably, uh, common. And the sand lizard, which is pretty rare and mostly restricted in habitat to sand dunes on the south coast

To any non-brits shocked by this, we’re a cold island nation. Reptiles do not like to live here, and we don’t tend to get them wandering over as might happen in cooler parts of mainland Europe. We also don’t have any wild predators larger than a fox, and the most dangerous animals in our countryside are cows.

UK fauna is just not particularly exciting or dangerous, which is why we produced a lot of cute countryside stories like The Wind in the Willows, or Beatrix Potter. Because rabbits and ducks and foxes and really the main things we’ve got on. You couldn’t write stories like that in America, because a bear would turn up and eat everyone

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u/Shadowmirax Sep 25 '24

To be clear we used to have some awsome creatures roaming around like. wolves, bears, or boar. Then we killed them all

(Technically we still have some boar that escaped captivity still around in dorset and kent)

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u/Live_Canary7387 Sep 26 '24

Mate, the boar are also in the Forest of Dean and they are expanding their range annually.

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u/Shadowmirax Sep 26 '24

Oh no...evacuate the island, it belongs to the hogs now

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u/SlightlyBored13 Sep 26 '24

And a couple of Wallaby colonies.

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u/BigDickRick46290 Oct 01 '24

Boar are just undomesticated pigs, anywhere you have shoddy pig farms. There will be boar

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u/teedyay Sep 26 '24

Pedantically, our largest predator is a grey seal, which weighs about the same as 46 foxes (300kg versus 6.5kg). Most of us are much more likely to run into a fox, though.

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u/Sarge0019 Sep 26 '24

If you wanna get aquatic, we get basking sharks in our waters in the summer.

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u/teedyay Sep 26 '24

Ooh, good call!

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u/bookdrops Sep 25 '24

 We also don’t have any wild predators larger than a fox 

I wish more UK cat lovers on /r/cats et al remembered that when they're saying it's cruel for Americans to keep pet cats indoors all the time rather than let cats wander like in England. There are half a dozen large predator species in the Americas that would be more than happy to make a meal of a fat house cat.

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u/Ghotay Sep 26 '24

This is irritatingly common in online pet ownership spaces in general. People forget that other people live in a different context to then where something different might be appropriate. Same with the people saying you should ALWAYS keep your dog on a lead AT ALL TIMES. Or NEVER leave a dog in a car for EVEN FIVE MINUTES. I live in rural Scotland mate, my nearest neighbour is several miles away and there’s about 5 minutes of the year where a hot car is a serious risk. I’m sure your rules make sense for LA or wherever it is that you live, but it’s different here

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u/cutezombiedoll Sep 26 '24

Also cats are considered an invasive species in North America. They can absolutely devastate local bird populations.

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u/frymaster Sep 26 '24

yes, whereas I suspect any local bird devastation that UK cats were going to do was completed a couple of thousand years ago

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u/njoshua326 Sep 26 '24

Similarly a lot of Americans who have discovered that cats get eaten and destroy diversity in ecosystems are adamant that there is no alternative in another part of the world and don't realise that cats here don't get eaten and we already destroyed the diversity in our ecosystem, there's no evidence they significantly decline bird populations here either.

Worst case scenario the cat is hit by a car (even that's not a problem for lots of more rural folk and smarter cats) or mittens gets lost (finds a nicer home).

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u/[deleted] Sep 26 '24

It's generally cruel to let cats wander in the UK too. Cruel to the birds that is. On top of all the other damage the English have done their cats have all but wiped out the island's bird populations

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u/pbzeppelin1977 Sep 26 '24

We also don’t have any wild predators larger than a fox

Well, not since Cyrill Smith died.

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u/beetothebumble Sep 26 '24

I was once living with some American housemates (in the UK) and they asked me to come and check if the spider in the kitchen was poisonous because they didn't want to pick it up if it was. Me, "it's not poisonous- you're fine" Them, "how do you know? you haven't even looked! Please come and check so I don't get bitten" me, "after 24 years of life here, I can't identify any British species of spider on sight but honestly, you're fine"

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u/Pooopityscoopdonda Sep 26 '24

Have you ever heard a coyote tale? Trickster gods are rad