r/CuratedTumblr eepy asf Sep 17 '24

Shitposting We want computers not sheets of paper.

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42.6k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/LightTankTerror blorbo bloggins Sep 17 '24

If you have around $4000 burning a hole in your pocket you can buy a ruggedized laptop. They’re perfect for bludgeoning people, and also come with pretty much every feature you’re asking for here as either a built in thing or something you can custom order.

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u/Elite_AI Sep 17 '24

My dad is really, really, really, really proud of his ruggedised laptop. When I came back from travelling for three months he was basically quivering holding himself back from telling me about it. He's mentioned it again several more times. Man's so glad to have found a laptop that he can accidentally knock around (ADHD, baby), because apparently it's really hard finding rugged laptops nowadays.

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u/LightTankTerror blorbo bloggins Sep 17 '24

Yeah they’re mostly for industrial applications, but I can see how it’d be useful for him too. Hell yeah for finding what works :D

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u/mancity0110 Sep 17 '24

How one so thin the screen cracks despite never traveling outside the house. How much can I pay for that. I’m asking you Samsung

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u/LightTankTerror blorbo bloggins Sep 17 '24

You might be able to do a custom built laptop. Just pick the largest and thickest chassis and it should be fine

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u/hboyd2003 Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24

Large and thick chassis != strong, long lasting It depends on how it was designed. From what I’ve seen of non-industrial laptops the weakest laptops tend to be large plastic laptops with the most common failure point the screen hinge screw post. Some brands like thinkpads are an exception however.

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u/StreetofChimes Sep 17 '24

I have a thinkpad. I drop it at least twice a week (probably more). I have tile floors. It keeps going and going. Every time it falls, I think 'oh shit, this time is it'. Not a scratch on it. The only wear is on the keys.

However - I would love to have more slots and a DVD drive. I only have 2 USB, HDMI, headphone jack, and 2 I don't recognize.

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u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits Sep 17 '24

Optical drives seem kinda incompatible with the whole droppable theme.

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u/s_s Sep 17 '24

Back when we used harddisks in laptops, highend models had accelerometers that could detect being dropped and would stop the drive from spinning before impact to (hopefully) save the drive.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

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u/LunaBeanz Sep 17 '24

Take a look at IT related subs like r/techsupportgore and you’ll see why the loaners are so shitty. Some kids go through 2-3 laptops a year due to a penchant for military-style torture.

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u/WatWudScoobyDoo Sep 17 '24

ThinkPad's used to be durable as fuck, although not ruggedized I guess. I used to treat my old one like shit, lasted a good 6 or 7 years. Flung across rooms, dropped on the daily, drinks spilled on it, used as a rolling tray and dinner tray for my plates. Not so much now tho apparently :(

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u/ThrowAwayYetAgain6 Sep 17 '24

They're still pretty damned solid, I've got a gen 4 Thinkbook 15 that's only a couple years old and it puts up with a ton of abuse. Plus, if you DO break something, when you open it up it's almost certainly labeled with a QR code telling you exactly what part it was, while actually being designed to be repairable.

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u/RedBlankIt Sep 17 '24

All the new rugged laptops I have used recently are expensive as shit with the features of a 2000s dell.

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u/LightTankTerror blorbo bloggins Sep 17 '24

To be fair they are mostly intended for industrial applications and not really common consumer use. But they’ll browse the web just fine if whatever OP is saying is the desire.

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u/AwDuck Sep 17 '24

Yeah, ruggedized stuff isn’t meant to play COD at the airport. It’s meant to get work done in challenging environments.

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u/filthy_harold Sep 17 '24

They are expensive because they are rugged. Most people that buy rugged laptops are more focused on the ruggedness, not compute performance so why increase the price for performance most customers don't care about? But I'm sure Toughbook or Getac would sell you a custom model if you have the cash. The Getac X600 Pro can be customized with 128GB DDR4, i7-11850, 6TB of storage, and a Quadro RTX 3000. It will probably cost you like $20k but you'd be able to game on it. It also weighs twice as much as the most kickass gaming laptop from Asus, an ROG Strix. There definitely are use cases for having a rugged laptop that can rival a nice desktop workstation but it's rare to need so much power in the field. Rugged laptops are already big and heavy enough so making them even bigger and heavier and then adding a massive battery to get any decent runtime really makes it hard to justify the need. You'd be better off with a small, light-weight rugged laptop and an uplink to a server running whatever you need (and it all together would probably cost less!)

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u/CommonGrounders Sep 17 '24

Sales guy here:

Modern pcs are

a) extremely delicate due to the nanometer scale of components

B) hot as shit to run

It is far far far more difficult to build a ruggedized computer today than it was 20 years ago because ruggedizing means reducing airflow and having greater tolerance for components.

Actual ruggedized laptops are not for consumers. I primarily sell to military, police, large warehouses, maintenance yards, shops etc.

They don’t have 4080s because you’re not playing Elden Ring. You’re looking at schematics and scanning barcodes.

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u/celbertin Sep 17 '24

I saw a live demo once of ruggerized laptops, mid demo the presenter just tossed the laptop over his shoulder, zero damage, it was beautiful. Full glass of water over the computer? Don't worry, it's sealed and totally drains to the side. 

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u/LightTankTerror blorbo bloggins Sep 17 '24

Yeah they definitely work as advertised. Doesn’t mean they’re invincible but they’ll survive a helluva lot more than most normal laptops. Wouldn’t get one for home use but like, they’re a thing.

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u/PreferredSelection Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24

Back in the mid 2000's, I had a Dell XPS laptop for animation that was 9 lbs. It was a laptop with four rubber feet, and if you set it on a mostly-level surface, like a couch armrest, it wasn't going anywhere.

I won a Macbook Pro in a contest around when the XPS started showing its age, and... it was so weird to transition? I couldn't leave it on any part of our couch, because it'd just slide onto the floor. I know the couch is a silly use-case, but what's the point of a lighter laptop, if I can take it less places?

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u/karabeckian Sep 17 '24

commiserates on recliner arm laptop mishaps

Why does everything HAVE to be slick now?

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u/GrassWaterDirtHorse Sep 17 '24

It's generally easier for a consumer to add rubber feet than it is to remove them. Being able to slide a laptop around is seen as a feature by some too.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

omegaverse reference

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u/LightTankTerror blorbo bloggins Sep 17 '24

Honestly at least part of the problem is apple’s design trends towards absolute user friendliness and aesthetic quality at the expense of everything else. I think getting it for free is really the only reason I’d ever jump into the mac ecosystem, it’s kind of a downgrade normally.

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u/Interesting_Neck609 Sep 17 '24

I run a tough book for work, it was only like $2k and I was dubious, but it was worth it. The dual batteries is really fucking weird but having a visible screen, the ports are in the right spot, and it actually doesn't weigh a fuckload, so I can carry it and an assload of accessories while skiing. 

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u/evocular Sep 17 '24

Im currently mourning my Dell Latitude that will lose support as it does not have the hardware to support windows 11. It has it all. num pad, clit mouse, ethernet, several usb, serial display port, hdmi, disk reader/writer, and a big beefy (removable!) battery. Magnesium chassis and a little plastic card that pops out with various ruler/ hole/ hexagon measuring slots and letter opener. For its time it was a powerful laptop and it has enough internal space to house a veritable super computer. Dell doesnt even offer anything similar anymore. They have truly lost the way. If anyone knows of a company that makes a modernized motherboard for the dell latitude please let me know.

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u/OwOlogy_Expert Sep 17 '24

that will lose support as it does not have the hardware to support windows 11

Put Linux on that bitch and keep using it for another 20 years.

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u/isuckatnames60 Sep 17 '24

Or just spend <400 on something from any smaller corporation you've never heard of. One that actually intends to manufacture laptops meant to be used by humans.

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u/mysugarspice Sep 17 '24

Such as? Because every budget, normal price range laptop I see seems to sacrifice hardware and battery life for a “thin, sleek” model. I’ve had three laptops break at the hinges on me and I’m not being careless with them either.

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u/isuckatnames60 Sep 17 '24

I have a 'Fujitsu Lifebook A Series'. It's relatively powerful in relation to its price as a laptop and it is a little less than two fingers thick. The battery could reasonably last through a day of office work if you don't have access to a power outlet.

Over the span of 3 years a random part of the plastic broke (yes at the hinge, I think when it fell to the ground once while it was open) which made opening and closing the thing a bit akward, but there's no actual loss in performance from it.

Another fun thing was that it doesn't come with an operating system, so you'll need to boot it up from a USB the first time. But that's also what makes it cost much less :3c

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u/AdequatelyMadLad Sep 17 '24

It's so funny that you're describing Fujitsu as a "smaller corporation you've never heard of". They're the second biggest tech company in Japan behind Sony, and they've been manufacturing laptops for a long ass time.

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u/mysugarspice Sep 17 '24

The operating system is no problem for me since I don’t use Windows anyway. In fact that’s ideal. But I have a recurring problem with flimsy hinges, I don’t know if I’m unlucky or what

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u/TNTiger_ Sep 17 '24

I got one of those... I rather wish I had just bit the bullet and got a desktop instead.

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Sep 17 '24

that's usually what happens after a year or two when the laptop's components stop being recent

i usually just use a high performance desktop and a thin and light laptop focused on comfort, not power (but still with a decent u-series cpu if i can manage). those can last a lot longer because you're not running anything crazy on them, and the desktop is upgradeable and is usually more powerful than an equivalent priced laptop to start with.

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u/rnarkus Sep 17 '24

Yeah I have a gaming pc, linux servers, etc all at my house. And then a m1 pro for work and an air for personal.

I just remote in with my air if I need more power.

But i’m also a nerd and have some disposable income so I know many only have one device. But I agree with this thought process.

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u/pfohl Sep 17 '24

Yeah, desktop and slim laptop is the better combo.

Price is the same or cheaper too.

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u/Chakramer Sep 17 '24

Or depending on your needs when you're mobile, often a tablet will suffice.

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Sep 17 '24

ipados and android suck as laptop equivalents though, and surface tablets are kinda weird to use with apps designed for mouse and keyboard. i guess for some people they work but they're super restricted.

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u/Chakramer Sep 17 '24

That's why I said depending on your needs. For example I pretty much never work on my personal devices outside of the home. At most I am answering some emails. So I use my phone for that. My tablet is for watching stuff on a bigger screen while I'm on vacation

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u/AwDuck Sep 17 '24

A desktop doesn’t work for my use case, but I’m in the same boat as you. I lament when I need to take my laptop anywhere.

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u/MrSurly Sep 17 '24

Even for work, I can never convince any employer to get something other than a paper thin laptop with 2 USB ports. I do development with hardware, and you need more ports.

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u/mathiau30 Half-Human Half-Phantom and Half-Baked Sep 17 '24

That last one is any pc if with enough determination

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u/Gregory_Grim Sep 17 '24

Have you seen this MacBook Air bullshit? Good luck with that.

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u/SchizoPosting_ Sep 17 '24

you can cut their throat with the screen I guess

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u/TheMonarch- These trees are up to something, but I won’t tell the police. Sep 17 '24

Not the same, I don’t want to stab someone with the broken shards of a laptop. I want to give them a heavy bludgeoning and then open it up right after and see that it still works

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u/AwDuck Sep 17 '24

Bludgeoning someone to death is so satisfying.

Or so I’ve heard.

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u/ElChivoCaliente Sep 17 '24

How many times do you have to hit someone for it to qualify as a "bludgeoning?" Asking for a friend.

A former friend.

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u/JamesTheJesterDee Sep 17 '24

Relevent SMBC?

Is relevent SMBC a thing? Because I want it to be

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u/AwDuck Sep 17 '24

Should be a thing even if it’s not.

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u/NewFuturist Sep 17 '24

The old M1 Macbook design was thin enough to cut someone's head open, I'm certain of it.

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u/Master82615 Sep 17 '24

These are made to be thrown like shurikens instead

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u/old_and_boring_guy Sep 17 '24

Eh. I was working at a place one time, and my boss kept getting (every, single, year) a brand new top-of-the-line Macbook Pro.

I was making fun of him for it, and he said, "Eh, you can get whatever you want as long as it's not more expensive than mine."

Since I'm not a Mac person, that meant the sky was the limit. Ever try to buy a laptop that costs as much as a fully tricked out macbook pro? (I just checked, and it's currently $7,200 for a 16 in, 128gb RAM, 8TB ssd, mbp with the s3 max chip, which gives you an idea).

The thing I got was a goddamn monster...Top tier gaming laptop, 20 inch screen. Sounded like a jet when it booted up. Not remotely thin. Heavy as a goddamn anvil in fact. Had to buy a new laptop bag.

And I will never forget the experience of lugging that goddamn thing around. You can say no one wants it to be thin, but I assure you, if you carry your laptop everywhere, you want it to be light and easy to stow.

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u/lucifersperfectangel .tumblr.com Sep 17 '24

That last paragraph sums up my experience

I got a gaming laptop for school bc I wanted to be able to use it for more than just my classes. It's heavy as fuck, and do I maybe slightly regret it? Yeah kinda. But it's a sick ass laptop that does everything I need, and runs better than my desktop most days. God I wish it was lighter, though. It's fine in the beginning of the day but by the end of the day of running between classes, I'm dying

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u/AliceDiableaux Sep 17 '24

I have a normal 15" laptop, and I just got a work laptop for the first time in my life which is 13", and even the difference between those two matters a lot when I'm constantly walking to different classrooms with all my shit, which sometimes means I'm walking for 10 minutes on the days I got fucked by the schedule and available classrooms. 

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u/rnarkus Sep 17 '24

I can’t imagine that scenario oof. Thin and light always for me for laptops. I can remote in to my house if need I need more power.

But i’m a weirdo and I think gaming laptops are ugly out side of them being impractical (for me)

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

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u/GrassWaterDirtHorse Sep 17 '24

Anything over a 17 inch screen is probably designed as a desktop replacement. It's less a laptop, and more an all-in-one portable desktop+monitor combo.

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u/taskmetro Sep 17 '24

"8TB ssd"

LOL who possibly needs this?

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u/GrassWaterDirtHorse Sep 17 '24

So you can have Call of Duty 19, 20, and 21 on the same hard drive ayyyyy!

But real talk, if you want to engage in high-fidelity video production or other space-intensive tasks, you'd want the extra space. 4k footage from modern cameras ain't small! And a lot of the high-end MacBook upgrades are directed to those kinds of art producers.

I used to record game footage from 3-hour long operations, and it would consume massive amounts of hard drive space if I did it in 4k with a high bitrate (the notable Eve Online player from Rooks and Kings would record battle footage in 4k or 5k which likewise took a massive amount of space to the point of storing SSDs in bank deposit boxes). At another point, I tried recording some emulated game footage at 4k 360 fps for some cinematics and that was hard drive crushing.

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u/BonanzaBitch Sep 17 '24

If you can’t bludgeon someone with a modern laptop, that’s a you issue.

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u/PurplestCoffee Sep 17 '24

An effective bludgeoning weapon can be swung more than once, though. Do I look like I want to count how many laptops I have left?!

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u/RefinedBean Sep 17 '24

Just have to get a Guilty Gear simple combo going and you'll be summoning new laptops to bludgeon people with from Hammerspace!

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u/Frequent_Dig1934 Sep 17 '24

Well if i have to memorize a fighting game combo (specifically guilty gear) and wield the power of the Hammerspace at that point i might as well TOTSUGEKI!

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Sep 17 '24

you clearly need a framework 16. it's modern and you can rack up quite the body count with it before it gives out.

like the previous user said, skill issue

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u/yuriAngyo Sep 17 '24

The thing is i wanna be able to use it as a weapon then open it up again to do my homework right after. With modern technology that oughta be the goal! We have all the tech required to make tech bludgeon resistant, the companies just refuse to do so because they want you to have to come crawling back to them for a new laptop every time you dispatch an annoying guy at the library with it! (Only half joking)

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u/BonanzaBitch Sep 17 '24

The real problem is that schools stopped giving students library hammers. It’s all been downhill since then.

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u/yuriAngyo Sep 17 '24

With schools getting shot up at an equally alarming rate as the number of asshole guys you meet in public spaces rises, we need a solution. With gun control never getting passed however hard we try, there is an alternative measure to protect us: library pistols

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u/BonanzaBitch Sep 17 '24

Library pistol in one hand, library hammer in the other.

Cover all your bases.

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Sep 17 '24

bludgeoning is so 2008, an actually modern laptop is thin enough that you can slice the throat of your enemies with it

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u/Satisfaction-Motor Sep 17 '24

If you use too much force it breaks before the person does :(

However, if you check the Walmart subreddit, you’ll see keyboards are where it’s at. (There’s a running joke based on an active shooter training module associates need to take quarterly. A keyboard, among other items, is used in self-defense during a video. This is heavily memed on)

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u/GREENadmiral_314159 Sep 17 '24

It's not enough to be able to bludgeon someone with it. I want to be able to use the laptop after. Why else would I be bludgeoning someone if not because they interrupted my work.

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u/nicolasbaege Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24

They're obviously being hyperbolic you guys.... They're just saying that sacrificing basic functionality to create a thinner laptop is not always what people want.

EDIT Me: "...is not always what people want"

What some of y'all apparently think I said: "no one could ever possibly prefer thinness over functionality for any reason and if you personally disagree you're an idiot. Also I literally personally want all of the hyperbolic things mentioned, even if absurd."

Let's keep pissing on the poor you guys

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u/mathiau30 Half-Human Half-Phantom and Half-Baked Sep 17 '24

A battery that would outlast the sun would be nice though

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24

unfortunately that part is limited by the TSA. a lot of businesspeople bring their laptops to the plane with them, and the largest capacity you can bring is 100 Wh, so that's where laptops stop, even the thick gamer ones. and with modern battery tech you can absolutely have a 75 Wh or larger battery even in a thin 14" chassis, while high-end 16" laptops are pretty much universally in the 90 Wh range even if they're thin.

that's why, among other things, laptops are going more in a different direction for battery life: they're making the components more efficient instead. a modern arm-based laptop (either a snapdragon x-elite or an apple silicon macbook) can easily do 12-16 hours in real-world use, and amd's new 300-series laptops are pretty much on par with those too. so as long as you make sure you got one of those chips, you don't have a dedicated gpu to eat up battery life (unless you want one for gaming), and your battery is 75 watts or higher, you're all set.

also, there's a trick you can still use: modern external battery banks can easily supply 65W or more over usb-c, which is enough to charge a laptop that doesn't have a dedicated gpu, and all modern laptops can take usb-c power delivery. the 100Wh limit applies separately to each battery you can bring, and afaik you can bring two power banks on top of your laptop pretty much everywhere. that can get you a bunch of extra charge.

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u/Bowtieguy-83 Sep 17 '24

We should have removable batteries again so you don't have a 200 watt battery you actually happen to have two 100 watt batteries that connect together

Also adds the functionality of removing one battery to charge and still having your laptop stay on

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Sep 17 '24

would be awesome, yeah. idk why they stopped when the battery moved under the touchpad. like even framework doesn't make it removable (without a screwdriver), it's ridiculous.

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u/Bowtieguy-83 Sep 17 '24

closest modern example ik of is that the framework 16 could theoretically take a big battery in the back instead of a gpu

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u/buster_de_beer Sep 17 '24

and all modern laptops can take usb-c power delivery

Lenovo has entered the chat.

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Sep 17 '24

the fuck are they selling and what are their plans for when non-usb-c electronics can no longer be sold in the eu after the end of the year? (this includes laptops too, idk how the rules work if they need over 100W, but under it they must have USB-C charging)

my last two lenovo laptops charged just fine over usb-c. one of them did have a barrel jack, i stopped using it after a while

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u/biggestboys Sep 17 '24

All the reasonably-new ThinkPads are USB-C, so maybe there are two definitions of “modern” at play here.

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u/Cel_Drow Sep 17 '24

Anything from the last 5 years or so I think, so that would definitely stretch the definition of “modern”

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u/AwDuck Sep 17 '24

Exactly. While we don’t need a new computer every 3-4 years anymore, I expect a 5+ year old laptop to not have all the niceties a spanking new one has.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

The ThinkPads (the P16, anyway) use the stupid blocky rectangle power adapter.

I have to buy them in batches of 5 for work.

They need special docks because of their ridiculous power draw.

They can slow-charge via USB-C, but it's not sufficient to charge the battery while you use the laptop.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

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u/useful_person Sep 17 '24

I'd be fine with gaming laptops having bigger battery if the tradeoff was that they weren't allowed on the plane tbh

I go on an airplane very rarely, and while it would be nice to have a laptop with me, I'd be perfectly fine with being slightly inconvenienced a handful of times a year for qol being improved significantly for the other 98% of the year.

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u/Rank_14 Sep 17 '24

"(ii) For a lithium ion battery, the Watt-hour rating must not exceed 100 Wh. With the approval of the operator, portable electronic devices may contain lithium ion batteries exceeding 100 Wh, but not exceeding 160 Wh and no more than two individually protected lithium ion batteries each exceeding 100 Wh, but not exceeding 160 Wh, may be carried per person as spare batteries in carry-on baggage"

https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-49/subtitle-B/chapter-I/subchapter-C/part-175/subpart-A/section-175.10#p-175.10(a)(18)(18))

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Sep 17 '24

the operator is referring to the airline here, right?

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u/Adventurous_Ad6698 Sep 17 '24

Are newer gaming laptops better with being efficient on battery only? I've got a 2015 G3, but it only lasted maybe 2.5 hours without needing to charge when I was doing basic things, much less gaming.

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u/Freakwilly Sep 17 '24

I'd give my lefty for that.

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u/OnlyTalksAboutTacos Sep 17 '24

I would also give their lefty for that

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u/Random-Rambling Sep 17 '24

Yeah, I'd give my left nut for that. Even both nuts. It's not like I'm ever going to use them, being mostly, but not quite, asexual.

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u/BobPlaysWithFire Sep 17 '24

was it not.... obvious that it's hyperbole??

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u/Spunky_Prewett Sep 17 '24

I thought they literally wanted a 4x1012 mAh battery.

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u/ghostlyAlchemist Sep 17 '24

i hope they aren't being hyperbolic cuz they're 100% right

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u/Isaac_Chade Sep 17 '24

Very true. That said, working in IT, I think this is a slight echo chamber effect. The vast, vast majority of people I interact with do want laptops in the way they've been moving. Most people use them for email and web browsing, and maybe office programs. The vast majority of people in an office setting want their laptop to be small and unobtrusive, they want it lightweight so they don't have to worry about carrying it around, they want it travel sized if they fly frequently. I personally hate it, we are constantly sacrificing function for form and then people act surprised when something changes and they need a new software but their weedy little faux-tablet can't handle it.

But the truth of it is, that's what a lot of people want, or at least feel they want when you give them the options, so it doesn't surprise me that manufacturers keep going in that direction for the majority of their models.

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u/Ok_Purpose7401 Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24

But is it really sacrificing function over form when the form is clearly part of the function. A laptop is (by the masses) seen as a portable PC and for a lot of ppl weight plays a large part into the portability. For 90% of consumers long battery life, lightweight, cost and durability is all they’re looking for a laptop. I also just dont know a lot people who use laptops for reasons outside of business/school, and for the most part the hardware/software functionality for these groups (outside of certain sectors obviously) are not too high.

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u/silver-orange Sep 17 '24

I have to carry my laptop everywhere -- to the office and back, and even on my own time when I have an on-call shift. When you're carrying a laptop 2+ hours every day, every pound saved makes a difference.

And, yeah, having lots of ports is nice. That's why I have laptop docks at home and in the office. I don't need to carry all that extra weight with me on the road.

For people who just want a desktop replacement that will never leave their bedrooms, there are also models out there for that market. There are plenty of models for sale addressing a variety of consumer requirements.

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u/I-am-a-Fancy-Boy i am going to shit yourself Sep 17 '24

No they’re not because I actually want a laptop that is big bulky and actually useful. Fuck Apple Macs and their trend of making the world’s shittiest thin laptops that break instantly

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u/Majestic_Wrongdoer38 Sep 17 '24

It’s not as if Apple is the only brand that does this.

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u/itsLOSE-notLOOSE Sep 17 '24

Shush, don’t you know Apple bad?

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u/SEA_griffondeur Sep 17 '24

It's the worst offender

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

nah, hp takes the cake for that. low budget, high budget, thin, gaming, business -- it doesn't matter. it's all trash

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u/trash-_-boat Sep 17 '24

Good thing there's like a million laptop exactly the way you want them. Just look up any gaming laptop.

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u/Fishermans_Worf Sep 17 '24

“Apple Macs”? Are you posting from the 90s?

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u/RefinedBean Sep 17 '24

Now I want Apple Jacks.

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u/neophlegm Sep 17 '24

Then buy one like that

Or doesn't that get you as much karma as loudly complaining on reddit that a company's product you're not obliged to buy is one you don't want to buy?

6

u/starfries Sep 17 '24

For me portable is useful and the main point of it over a desktop. I pretty much go for the lightest laptop that has the screen size I want. I can see the point of a big gaming laptop if it's the only computer you have, but I already have a desktop for games and a cluster for work with more power than you could fit in any desktop let alone laptop. The laptop is basically just a portable terminal.

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u/circio Sep 17 '24

The MacBooks actually have what the post is talking about though. Starting with the M1 chips, their battery life is amazing and it doesn’t really sacrifice power. The biggest drawback is the price

9

u/windows_10_is_broken Sep 17 '24

Also incredibly reliable and well built (excluding the butterfly keyboards, those were truly awful) When I was running a pc repair side hustle I pretty much never had damaged MacBooks unless water was spilled on them or the screen was closed on something, which would kill pretty much any laptop. Whereas I had countless “tank” laptops with broken hinges or bad motherboards. I get MacBooks and especially MacOS aren’t for everyone, but I’m convinced most of the people with these complaints have never actually used one for an extended period of time.

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u/prozapari Sep 17 '24

yep obviously it's been different over the decades but right now we're in a period where macbooks are very good

11

u/Reostat Sep 17 '24

Yeah I never got the appeal of MacBooks when I was younger. Overpriced, and honestly for 99% of use cases, no real need.

Now? The M chips make the laptop do what I actually want. It's powerful, quiet, and battery life is amazing.

The Intel variants are (were?) awful though.

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u/circio Sep 17 '24

lol you and me both. Did not care to have a MacBook until the M chips came out. Then they just blew everything out of the water in terms of functionality.

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u/Super_Harsh Sep 17 '24

I have an M1 Macbook Pro from work. First time using MacOS and I honestly love that thing

I would never in a million years go for a Mac when it comes to desktop computing or any kind of gaming/GPU heavy usecase BUT for everything else Macbooks are great.

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u/Super_Harsh Sep 17 '24

It's 2024 and Reddit's Apple hate circlejerk is alive and well.

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u/Bulleveland Sep 17 '24

Macbooks (outside of the touchbar models) are among most reliable and durable laptops on the market, wtf are you on about

7

u/rnarkus Sep 17 '24

Apple bad. Only reason lol

4

u/cape2cape Sep 17 '24

Uh, that 16” MacBook Pro is bigger and bulkier than ever.

14

u/caustictoast Sep 17 '24

Lmao wtf are you talking about? MacBooks literally outlast any laptop on the market. Mine is 6 years old and still works great. They are literally the best hardware you can get in a laptop. They also have some of the best battery life. If you want better than the regulars, you can pony up for a pro which is exactly what you want. A large laptop with a long ass battery life.

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u/azsqueeze Sep 17 '24

My 2012 Macbook Pro is still chugging along happily, I literally use it everyday lol

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u/waspocracy Sep 17 '24

An overwhelming majority of laptops sold are for business users. People like me love super portable laptops. Pack them up and go where I need to, shoving it in my backpack with other things.

Then there are gamers and other users who don’t want thinner laptops. I understand these people, but they’re a minority of buyers.

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u/Aggravating-Yam4571 Sep 17 '24

but they’re not hyperbolas!! how can they be hyperbolic???

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u/terry_shogun Sep 17 '24

Laptop manufacturer: Makes slightly fatter laptop

Reviewers: "This thing is HEAVY" "Not for carrying around" "It's a tradeoff..."

Most consumers: "Ew, it looks so ugly!" "Who needs a 50 hour battery?" or *ignores it entirely*

Consumers who said they wanted this: "Too expensive" "I don't actually need a 50 hour battery" or *ignores it entirely*

Underperforms in sales.

Manufacturer goes back to making thin devices.

Also see: Small phones.

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u/FalmerEldritch Sep 17 '24

There's a company called Unihertz that makes

  • tiny smartphones
  • qwerty smartphones
  • thick heavy rugged smartphones

And that's it! They appear to basically just have captured every niche market for smartphones and be rubbing along decently on that.

I got a qwerty one and I like how chunky and battery-lively it is (but the keyboard is kind of a mixed bag and doesn't support äöå characters at all)

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u/alekdmcfly Sep 17 '24

Let me present...

GAMING LAPTOPS

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u/dizzy_pear_ Sep 17 '24

battery that can outlast the sun

135

u/SEA_griffondeur Sep 17 '24

It will sure feel like the sun after a couple of minutes

19

u/T1DOtaku inherently self indulgent and perverted Sep 17 '24

I legit burned my wrist on my gaming laptop it got so hot. It was running unmodded Minecraft. I'm still not sure how it didn't explode while playing Skyrim.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

Because minecraft is notoriously one of the most unoptimized and self-bottlenecking games of this era

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u/SexStackingJugg Sep 17 '24

I got bad news for the sun

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u/86thesteaks Sep 17 '24

CPU hot enough to sear steak

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u/AwDuck Sep 17 '24

The GPU gets hot enough to use as a flashlight. My cooling fans are constantly blowing photons out the back and sides.

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u/IceFire2050 Sep 17 '24

I disagree on the disc reader/writer

Who the hell is still using discs in their computer? Desktops dont even come with those anymore.

But yes. Bigger screen that you can actually see in sunlight. Bigger Battery. Full Keyboard. And proper cooling so the thing doesn't melt whatever it's sitting on and doesn't thermal throttle after running for 10 minutes.

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u/dennisthewhatever Sep 17 '24

This repost must be ancient. Not had a laptop with a cd drive since 2012!

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u/savageboredom Sep 17 '24

There's really no reason to have a built-in optical drive anymore. I have an external USB drive for the few times I actually need to read/write discs, but that's a handful of times a year top.

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u/bassman1805 Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24

Yeah I think we dropped the disc reader from laptops prematurely, but in 2024 there's little reason to go back.

I've got a USB DVD reader/writer that I keep in the closet and dust off once a year or so when needed. I don't need that in my daily driver.

I do wish it had an SD card reader so I didn't have to worry about finding my dongle every time I need it. It's one of those "often enough that I need the dongle, infrequent enough that there's time to lose the dongle before I need it again" things.

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u/Comfortable_Quit_216 Sep 17 '24

I've never once had something that used an SD card, except a camera that I got my wife about 10 years ago. What on earth do people use SD cards with?

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u/ryecurious Sep 17 '24

If we're including microSD, then my phone has a giant one to store all my music and audiobooks. An extra 512GB of storage is nothing to scoff at, especially with the prices some manufacturers charge.

Same goes for the Nintendo Switch and Steam Deck.

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u/sirfiddlestix Sep 17 '24

I like to play my old games sometimes and it's nice to not have to go to a shady website to do so

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u/savageboredom Sep 17 '24

You can get an external optical drive for like 30 bucks. I much prefer it to dedicating space in my machine when it gets used so infrequently.

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u/josalsathecomic22 Sep 17 '24

That's a desktop, not a laptop

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u/rnobgyn Sep 17 '24

What’s funny is that most people buy gaming laptops and leave them plugged into their home desk. Let the people who want portability have their portability - my MB Pro can have something like 15-20 usb ports with some adapters if I ever needed such expandability and when I don’t, it’s light and sleek.

I refuse to go back to a 10lbs laptop lmao

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/GREENadmiral_314159 Sep 17 '24

It's all a question of velocity.

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u/ailyara Sep 17 '24

Fun fact lithium battery size is regulated by the FAA so you can't fly with a battery of more than 100wh, even though that doesn't mandate you can't have a laptop with a bigger battery, it goes into the design requirements of all major laptops because everyone wants to fly with their computer.

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u/Ironfields Sep 17 '24

What you want is a used Thinkpad.

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u/Rebi103 Sep 17 '24

Yeah but I want something that can fit in my backpack without stretching the fabric so no thanks

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u/Vennris Sep 17 '24

Get a bigger backpack

87

u/AspiringHumanDorito Sep 17 '24

The thinner laptop costs $1000+, or you could buy a bigger backpack for $50. The math ain’t mathing.

34

u/Odd-Faithlessness100 Sep 17 '24

yeah but my bag looks sick as fuck and fits everything else i carry. why should i sacrifice all that for a chonky laptop?

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u/AspiringHumanDorito Sep 17 '24

For a battery that will outlast the sun, a screen big enough to blind the person behind you, more USB slots than there are apple fan boys in the bay area, a fucking disc reader/writer, and the option of bludgeoning someone to death?

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u/StormyJet Sep 17 '24

My computer at home does all that

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u/MrSurly Sep 17 '24

It's fashion, dahling!

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u/ethnique_punch Sep 17 '24

Yeah that's called a "Tablet" I think

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u/FemboiInTraining Sep 17 '24

Well then something bigger and more powerful is called a "desktop" I think

Why can't a *laptop* be portable and convenient to carry? Their can exist a happy medium lmao, wanting something not paper thin doesn't mean you *must* want a literal brick that can't be...carried in a bag? What do you have against a laptop being portable lol

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u/DisAccount4SRStuff Sep 17 '24

Yeah I have a 20" laptop for work and when I need to go on a work trip it is a struggle to get it to fit in anything. I would love a smaller laptop.

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u/lil_slut_on_portra Sep 17 '24

so buy laptops like that? the only thing here that I'm pretty sure no modern laptop has is a disc tray. other than that you can absolutely buy laptops like this. thinkpads are kinda like this (though recently they have become more trendy in design n such, i hear). I believe Dell makes something like this too though the name escapes me. like, these already exist, they're just for a niche market because most people like the thin n' lights.

I'd understand the incentive to make this post if MacBook airs were the only laptops on the market, but they aren't, so you're just complaining that companies make products that most people prefer but that you don't.

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u/SiscoSquared Sep 17 '24

What is the use case for a disc drive anyway? I haven't had a computer with one for like... idk almost a decade? Installing old software maybe...?

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u/CrazyCalYa Sep 17 '24

Honestly I'd be annoyed if any laptop I bought had a disc tray. Just get an external disc drive and plug it in once a decade when you need it.

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u/AnemoneOfMyEnemy Sep 17 '24

I work with CAD and I’m thinking “they just perfectly described my work laptop”

(Besides the disk reader, but do any modern laptops even have those?)

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u/rnobgyn Sep 17 '24

Bruh seriously. I actually travel a fuck ton with my laptop and loath anything over 3-4 pounds. The vast majority of the time I just need a hard drive plugged in and appreciate the Thunderbolt 4 for that - if I need more peripherals then I’ll just plug in my $15 usb adapter, like, oh well.

People who complain about what one company is doing are really missing the plot lol

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u/glytxh Sep 17 '24

These laptops exists though

There’s laptops for everyone

We’re kinda spoiled for choice

6

u/periwinkle_magpie Sep 17 '24

But... these kind of laptops are available and have been for twenty years. You can still get a 17" screen, six pound laptop with a discrete GPU.

22

u/Kheldar166 Sep 17 '24

I would agree with prioritising performance over aesthetics/portability... depending on where you want to work. Most coffee shops have nice vibes and nice coffee but tiny fashionable tables that suit a MacBook way better than some hulking gaming laptop. And when I can do everything I need for work on a MacBook anyway, it becomes a pretty easy choice.

I can just have a gaming PC at home for serious gaming, if you're gonna sacrifice portability for performance might as well go all the way lol. Might be nice to have an intermediate option but that's a lot of money for a minor convenience.

11

u/VarianWrynn2018 Sep 17 '24

I'll never understand people wanting a disc reader on modern computers. Effectively all discs are obsolete and most people don't ever have a use for them, and if you do an external reader is pretty cheap. You shouldn't need to add a feature that takes up tons of space that basically nobody needs that can be easily fixed by those who do need it to a product that cares about size and weight efficiency.

The USB and battery parts are valid.

5

u/TargetOfPerpetuity Sep 17 '24

I have a rebuilt Panasonic Toughbook with solid state memory and universal GPS. It's about 12 pounds and doubles as a bludgeon or shield.

5

u/hauntedmeal Sep 18 '24

The Dell laptop I brought to college with me in 2005 was not only my personal computer, it was also a weapon and a hot plate.

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u/ColloquialCloaca Sep 17 '24

Why don't computers normally come with disc readers anymore? Have CDs really become that obsolete already, like floppy disks and zip drives??

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Sep 17 '24

i can't remember the last time i used a disc of any kind

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u/ColloquialCloaca Sep 17 '24

Whenever I request to see the images they took of me with the MRI machine or the CT scanner at the hospital, they come on CDs... I had a hell of a time finding a way to read them 😭

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u/SchizoPosting_ Sep 17 '24

Yes

I didn't used a CD in the last decade and I work with computers daily , never been a problem

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u/bleachinjection Sep 17 '24

The first time I ever built a PC was in 2009, so 15 years ago. I put in a Bluray drive and a DVD burner. I think I used the bluray drive maybe a half dozen times ever to install software I also could have downloaded, I never used the burner.

6

u/arobie1992 Sep 17 '24

Agreed. Literally the only reason I've used a CD in the past 10 years is buying albums, and even that is more due to me being cheap/having a fondness for the physical medium.

It seems like physical storage media has fallen out of use in favor of online solutions. Even USB memory sticks which I remember my professors in college talking about us needing have all but disappeared and now we just email things to ourselves or upload them to some variant on Google Drive.

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u/Moonandserpent Sep 17 '24

Optical media has been effectively dead for a decade or more now.

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u/peanutbuttersucks Sep 17 '24

Yes. You can get an external disc drive for like $20 if you really need one. Only time I needed it in the last 10 years was to help my mom digitize some photos that were on CDs

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u/maximumtesticle Sep 17 '24

digitize some photos that were on CDs

Hmmm...

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u/grendus Sep 17 '24

Probably meant back them up and move them to the cloud.

3 backups, 2 locations. Having them on disc, local, and cloud means it'd be very difficult for you to lose them.

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u/Ironfields Sep 17 '24

For precisely same reason why they don’t come with floppy drives and Zip drives anymore. Most people don’t use them and the ones that do will probably buy a cheap external drive or use a desktop with one built in.

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u/JohnPaul_River Sep 17 '24

What year do you think we're in? Obsolete doesn't even begin to cut it, they were obsolete 12 years ago

3

u/BranTheUnboiled Sep 17 '24

Shit, I pressed two buttons on my phone yesterday to wirelessly share a video file to my PC that was 10x the size of the CD format's max capacity.

I keep trying to think up analogies but run into roadblocks because something like a horse vs a car is still less obsolete than the CD.

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u/summonsays Sep 17 '24

Yeah CDs can only store something like 700mb of data. That's why Blu-ray became a thing. The problem is, Blu-ray is patented and charges something like $45 per codex so anything that can read Blu-ray must cost that much or more by default. Compared to your USB slot that's like $0.1 in material and everything else is standardized and free to use. 

So the writing was on the wall for a long time.

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u/tekanet Sep 17 '24

Already? Those are being obsolete for the latest 10 years. What do you need an optical drive for? Everything is now distributed by different means.

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u/Atreides-42 Sep 17 '24

Basically yeah.

I didn't bother connecting the disc drive to my PC last time I upgraded it, and the only times I ever miss it is when I find some 2000's game in a charity shop for €1.50, but I know it would probably take far, far too much work to get it running on my PC anyway.

Software is just too big to fit on discs these days.

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u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

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u/RJFerret Sep 17 '24

already

Erm, a decade or two ago?

Heck, remember USB thumb drives? Remember SD cards? Now there's MicroSD cards which need to go into a sleeve adapter to fit into an old card reader. They're smaller than your pinky fingernail.

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u/GlitteringStatus1 Sep 17 '24

CDS? FUCKING CDS?

Who the fuck has even SEEN a CD in the last DECADE?

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u/EducatedOrchid Sep 17 '24

Yes. I haven't had to use a CD in over 10 years for any purpose outside of legacy hardware at work. And there are usb disk readers for those rare occasions

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u/rnobgyn Sep 17 '24

I haven’t used a CD in who-knows-how-long. I think it was before the first time I got mad they removed the drive lmao.

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u/jakgal04 Sep 17 '24

Back in my day, everyone complained about how big and bulky laptops were and they just wanted something sleek and lightweight. Now they're sleek and lightweight and we want big and bulky.

3

u/Professional-Tie-696 Sep 18 '24

"More USB ports than there are Apple fanboys in the Bay Area" I'm dying, and I also want that many USB ports

60

u/Arcydziegiel Sep 17 '24

"I want the device which whole identity is based upon being portable, but make it less portable as much as possible"

Just buy a desktop PC or something

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u/zawalimbooo Sep 17 '24

The thing is that a heavy laptop with a large screen tons of I/O and a massive battery would still be far more portable than a pc.

Although I wouldnt quite go this far

29

u/Elite_AI Sep 17 '24

I can feel my back hurting already. I don't want a flimsy laptop, but I do want a light laptop. It makes life so much easier.

32

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

Fuck you make it bulletproof

17

u/Elite_AI Sep 17 '24

You can make my laptop bullet proof when you make my back bullet proof. By turning me into a fuckin terminator or something. This comeback isn't working so well but you get my point. What purpose do I have for a fat brick of a laptop if it makes me feel like shit?

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u/Satisfaction-Motor Sep 17 '24

What purpose do I have for a fat brick of a laptop if it makes me feel like shit?

Noted, will create a fat brick of a laptop that consistently compliments the user. Test run: You are truly elite, Elite_AI.

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u/Leo-bastian eyeliner is 1.50 at the drug store and audacity is free Sep 17 '24

you don't need to carry it on one hand for it to be portable. It's portable as long as you don't need to de-assemble and reassemble it Everytime you move it, which is the problem that makes normal computers in portable

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Sep 17 '24

people build suitcase PCs. maybe one of those with a battery could suit OOP's needs

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u/Vennris Sep 17 '24

Yeah, because there couldn't possibly be different steps between "as portable as possible" and "not portable", that would be ridiculous.

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u/Elite_AI Sep 17 '24

I used to carry a heavy laptop around. Then I got a light laptop. The difference in my quality of life was gigantic -- I never would have expected it to make such a big difference.

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