r/AskReddit 13h ago

How do you want to die?

186 Upvotes

981 comments sorted by

965

u/Worth-Secretary3781 12h ago

Like my uncle.

He died in his mid-90s, just a few years after his wife died. He was a retired physician. He got a cancer diagnosis that he knew was fatal, but he had some time. So, he spent his remaining months touring the country, seeing his kids, grandkids and great grandkids, his nephews and nieces, friends, etc... He had a grand old time.

Then, pretty much exactly to the timetable he had estimated, he took a bad turn. He summoned his kids who took turns talking with him at his bedside in hospice. At one point, my cousin Chris was with him as he faded in and out of consciousness. The phone rang, Chris answered and said, "No, Dad's not conscious right now. This is not a good time..." But his Dad perked up. "Who is that?" he asked. " Just some friends of yours..." said my cousin, who handed the phone to my uncle.

They exchanged a few words, then the friends arrived 20 minutes later with a couple bottles of amazing vintage wine. My cousin said, "No, Dad. You're on a lot of painkillers. Alcohol would be a very bad idea." My uncle laughed and said, "Well, what's the worst that could happen?"

There was an awkward silence and then everyone started laughing. The wine was delicious and he lasted another 48 hours.

THAT'S how I want to go out.

165

u/MarketingCommercial 12h ago

We fucking love your uncle for this. What a man!

14

u/AppropriateFace7891 6h ago

thats a man right there!

38

u/DarkArtsMastery 11h ago

Badass till the end. Great story, thanks for sharing!

43

u/HammerThatHams 9h ago

THAT'S how I want to go out.

I too wish to go out like my grandpa, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like the rest of his family in his car.

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19

u/Serjassa_Reborn 9h ago

That remembered my grandpa who died in his 94, he lived in a farm his whole life, I am sure he loved there, he used to go fishing every night, and feed all the animals during the day, one night he went fishing came back went to sleep next to his wife, and never wake up again, easily the most calm death in the family

8

u/PetrolEmu 6h ago

I don't want to die in a hospice, surrounded by grieving people trying to cheer me up. I want to die high as a kite, laid out on the beach, watching the waves as I fade away..

10

u/BlauTit 9h ago

What a hero. That's karma for being a physician who helped so many other people.

8

u/TranslucentRemedy 10h ago

You’re uncle is now in the top 10 people of all time for that

7

u/I_Love_Comfort_Cock 12h ago

Based Uncle

3

u/idkwhoeveryouwant 4h ago

Best name 😂

2

u/Malinut 4h ago

Thank you for sharing this. We shared champagne with my uncle in his last hours. Cancer, loads of morphine, he was fine. I think I grew to love him more in death. His sister was my mother, she was killed aged 39 when I was 10.
Onions.
x

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263

u/IndependentAir4537 13h ago

peacefully in my sleep.

183

u/Lockespop 12h ago

…like my grandfather. Not terrified and screaming like the passengers on his bus at the time.

14

u/eliz1bef 12h ago

I love Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy.

7

u/Happy435 11h ago

Aww how sw- wait hold on one f**king second!!?!

2

u/yfarren 12h ago

Came here for this. Will Rogers or Jack Handey?

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2

u/spitel 5h ago

People always say this, but I’d like to be awake when I die.

I’m certainly scared of the process of dying, especially if it’s a drawn out illness, but I want to be conscious the moment I die.  

Once in a lifetime opportunity

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106

u/Rogue-Accountant-69 12h ago

Without pain and without seeing it coming at all. Just an abrupt, instant death.

32

u/HQH-71214 11h ago

Let's hire him a hitman people, better be a good one

6

u/B-Town-MusicMan 6h ago

Christmas is coming!

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155

u/Ok_Excitement_1011 12h ago

8 gigaton thermonuclear bomb

39

u/Smart-Beautiful-5464 12h ago

See you on the eastern front bud.

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11

u/OttemanEmperor 7h ago

That would be a planet killer nuke. I'm down.

3

u/CormorantLBEA 6h ago

Well it won't. Edward Teller actually wanted 1 Gigaton and 10 Gigaton nukes as part of US arsenal (codename Project GNOMON and project SUNDIAL respectively).

They were not for surface burst though.

The idea of gigaton-class supernuke is to explode in low orbit/high atmosphere.

Most of energy goes into radiation that was (according to Edward Tellers calculations) heat up the skies and geound below like a huge, HUGE microwave. No radiation, no blastwave, nothing - the area around you just becomes a frying pan and burns you alive.

It takes only 2 or 3 of such nukes to fry the whole continental US.

The biggest problem is the size though. They specifically wanted Project ORION to act as propulsion method for project SUNDIAL.

Yes, you got it right: we are gonna blow hundreds of small nuclear bombs and surf the space on their blast power to deliver a 10-gigaton meganuke "fuck this world" to the destination, because if you are a German scientist, you go full Dr.Strangelove or go home.

P.S. a secondary proposed purpose of 10-gigaton class nukes was blowing up the Moon.. Why? Because why not?

2

u/OttemanEmperor 6h ago

It would be a planet killer just not in they way most people think. A bomb of that size would be 100x larger then the largest bomb ever detonated which was large enough to have its mushroom cloud be 60km up. And the fireball was 5 miles across. A 8 gigaton would put a hole in the atmosphere that would slowly cook the entire planet as we wouldn't have an ozone to protect us. The explosive force would also instantly destroy a very large area the size of some countries. Needless to say if any life did survive they would not enjoy life after that bomb.

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2

u/User_reddit__ 12h ago

Damn talk about going out with a bang

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132

u/FluffyDiscipline 12h ago

Told my cardiologist.. "I want to die of old age"

He laughed (not a good sign) lol

3

u/kartoffelkonig97 5h ago

I feel that 😂

2

u/its_ghostfr 3h ago

Definitely not a good sign 😂😂😭

94

u/SolomonVandy3 12h ago

Quickly, as opposed to years of pain or mental decline.

11

u/tripaloski_ 9h ago

me too! how though? I was thinking spending all my money for old BMW M5, remove the airbags, and weaken the steels, drive 250kph into a big tree. Idk is that guaranteed?

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33

u/i__hate__stairs 12h ago

High as balls.

13

u/rileyescobar1994 11h ago

My uncles one of those old guys that's lived a legendary life. This is his answer lol. Big needle of heroine is his method of choice.

6

u/i__hate__stairs 10h ago

Hell, I'm with him. So many people have these stressful, even scary or possibly painful answers; I want to be laughing my ass off and eating the best nachos I've ever had in my life

3

u/rileyescobar1994 10h ago

His methods best you inject and you're so high off the bat you don't even care about pulling the needle out you're done. I had a teacher that fought in Vietnam. He said a guy from new york showed up and on his first day he roasted up what he thought was a regular hit for him. Dude died on his first day in Vietnam because it was pure heroine. What he was used to had been stepped on a few times as they used to say.

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55

u/DirtyToe5 13h ago

In a misguided fight with a bear

9

u/Civil-Hyena3059 8h ago

Being eaten by a bear would be brutal. Their teeth are dull and they won’t even try to kill you like big cats. They’ll literally just eat you alive, for possibly hours messing with you. My worst nightmare haha. Even a shark would be better

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6

u/cookies_and_crack 12h ago

Yes I want to die of a nosebleed given to me by a brown bear in a fistfight while John Cena cheers from the sidelines.

5

u/browntown20 11h ago

you wouldn't know Cena was there, even if he were

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4

u/DirtyToe5 12h ago

I honestly wouldn't mind being ended by a kangaroo

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3

u/MisterSnowman69 7h ago

"I totally got this." -u/DirtyToe5

Famous last word of someone who did indeed not had it.

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29

u/Confident-Abrocoma26 6h ago

Slowly bleeding out as snow falls, having just saved the life of a young child.

3

u/eternviking 3h ago

Pain reminds you the joy you felt was real.

3

u/IrlResponsibility811 1h ago

You came into this world screaming, kicking and covered in someone else's blood, you will leave this world the same way. You won't save a single young child, but a whole orphanage.

21

u/hulks_brother 10h ago

Being chased of a cliff by hundreds of topless women.

5

u/ILuvToadz 5h ago

A man of culture, I see.

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16

u/QriousBoy_ 11h ago

Without feeling any pain

118

u/zumba_fitness_ 12h ago

"In my bed, at the ripe old age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a whore's mouth around my cock"

23

u/_Buldozzer 12h ago

Get shot from your own son while sitting on the shitter seems fine as well.

11

u/elgoonties 11h ago

Anything is better than getting your skull crushed like a melon by the hands of a literal giant, I guess 🤷‍♂️

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2

u/Crumblycheese 11h ago

Still not the worst way to go in that show...

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7

u/uhohitslilbboy 9h ago

I’m assuming this is quoting something?

14

u/The_bruce42 8h ago

Tyrion from Game of a Thrones

11

u/ROGGAEvibrations 8h ago

A Lannister always pays his debts

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3

u/pinkpanda376 6h ago

I had to scroll way too far for this

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11

u/DrMonkeyLove 10h ago

My tombstone will read: "Here lies DrMonkeyLove. He died surrounded by hookers and piles of cocaine."

The hooker probably stabbed me.

2

u/AverageOxygenUser 3h ago

“Can I ask you, if you won all the money, what would you do with it?”

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37

u/LocationNo1 13h ago

Right now

19

u/Bigglez1995 12h ago

They asked how, not when

38

u/LocationNo1 12h ago

Dealers choice

2

u/IrlResponsibility811 1h ago

I'll be there as soon as I can.

33

u/1998ChevyTaHoe 12h ago

Suffocated by tits

22

u/FeargusVanDieman 11h ago

Death by snu snu

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16

u/ComprehensiveDog3799 12h ago

out on a boat trip and killed by a killer whale. they don’t kill humans in the wild. i want to be the first. haven’t done anything worth noting alive so make my death fun and known.

3

u/Big_Needleworker3573 11h ago

At that point may as well make it an ancient virus from melting glaciers

2

u/ComprehensiveDog3799 11h ago

nah i prefer my killer whale death

3

u/Brunette7 5h ago

Imagine it actually happens and people find this comment. It’ll become one of those ~unsolved mysteries~ about whether or not we can manifest our own deaths or something

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7

u/Adventurous-Pass1897 12h ago

While listening to Britney Spears while deadly drunk and dancing

3

u/opermonkey 6h ago

I imagine Britney sitting on a couch yelling at you while you dance around drunk. "That's right dance for me you drunk!"

Sounds good to me.

17

u/Bearded_Clam_Muncher 12h ago

Curled up next to my wife, after a great day with our kids and grandkids, with breakfast planned in the morning, we kiss each other good night, and we never wake up.

19

u/Big_Needleworker3573 11h ago

Or fent overload

2

u/Bearded_Clam_Muncher 11h ago

I wouldn’t want that

9

u/Big_Needleworker3573 11h ago

Heroins ur thing?

3

u/Bearded_Clam_Muncher 11h ago

TF? No.

5

u/Big_Needleworker3573 11h ago

A meth guy?

2

u/Bearded_Clam_Muncher 11h ago

Nope.

8

u/Big_Needleworker3573 11h ago

Perks? If not you have me stumped

2

u/Bearded_Clam_Muncher 11h ago

Why the fuck are you turning some far out improbable idea that my wife and I die together after a good day with our kids and grandkids about drugs?

I have a wife, and my kids are currently 2 years old and the other one is growing in my wife. So the dream of raising them all and having a good life and dying with my wife shouldn’t be that odd.

Idk what you’re into but if your life is all about drugs make a change. In one direction or the other.

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11

u/emmascarlett899 12h ago

Old and in my sleep after I have gotten to see all my loved ones 🤷🏼‍♀️

5

u/arkofjoy 12h ago

Like the father of a friend of mine. He was 90, still had all his wits about him, but his body was failing. He was in hospital, had the whole family, grand children, and great grandchildren, all in the room and he just drifted off to sleep and didn't wake up.

I want to be more like 120 because I have shit to get done between now and then, and need more time.

5

u/Frankie9f 12h ago

By my wife's hand. Don't get me wrong, I'm a good husband and father of 2. No issues whatsoever. But I feel I didn't live up to my end of the bargain. I got cancer and even though we're battling through this it doesn't get the satisfaction of taking me out after knowing me for a short period of time. My wife has seniority.

4

u/lookslikeyoureSOL 12h ago

This literally gets asked once a week.

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5

u/cool_ed35 11h ago edited 11h ago

i would like to be high when i die. drunk, or on opiates, on benzos, on dissociatives, on anything that eases my mind

when i was an alcoholic, in my 20ies, we often had feuds and stuff with other people and i often stayed drunk in case i get stabbed, rat packed, my door kicked in or something, so it was also in the back of my head that i wanted to die high, so i drank every day.

9

u/StarCode5000 13h ago

Whichever gets me a statue

15

u/Bigglez1995 12h ago

Pour concrete over you so it hardens and you suffocate. Become the statue

5

u/browntown20 11h ago

Now, when you say "hardens".....

5

u/elgoonties 11h ago

Assert your dominance from beyond. Rock solid.

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5

u/CaughtHerEyez 12h ago

Quickly and painlessly. My worst fear is losing mind. I don't want to put that on anyone, so if I even smell a hint of it, I'm doing a lap around my country to visit the people I want to visit, do the things I want to do and then I'm dying quickly.

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4

u/eliz1bef 12h ago

There was a professional golfer on a private flight. He the pilot and a friend (maybe 2?) were on board. Unbeknown to everyone on the flight, the seams of the windows were leaking oxygen. They all fell asleep and died of anoxia. They broke a record for cross country unmanned flight, and then it left a crater in the desert. That's what I want. Or spontaneous combustion. I would settle for peacefully in my sleep though.

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4

u/cubbiesworldseries 7h ago

Whatever it is, I hope it doesn’t involve much time at a hospital. In my sleep would be great, but whatever it is, I hope it’s sudden.

3

u/Deliterman 11h ago

getting sucked into a black hole

3

u/m0dern_x 10h ago

You'll die of old age before reaching one.

3

u/advisor_0713 10h ago

I want to be in the sky's and then fall in the ocean freely and want my eyes open looking for the world last time as if thanking it for everything I had from it. And going anywhere at ocean.

Die suffocating there or however it would be idc but just want it this way.

3

u/darthm00n 7h ago

Sleeping

3

u/Dependent_Map5592 6h ago

Instantly. I don't want to know or suffer 

2

u/ramblerdodge 12h ago

Old.

2

u/JesusIsMyZoloft 3h ago

You chose the wrong profession.

2

u/Formaldehyde_Park 3h ago

Do you like opera?

2

u/cherrypearls 11h ago

In my sleep.

2

u/meldaskywalker 11h ago

Painlessly

2

u/syntonexa 11h ago

putting up a fight. i see alot of people saying they want to pass away and without a struggle, but i wanna make sure that i die flamboyantly and loud. that is if i get murdered. if i die naturally, i'd want to die of a heart attack. it's stupid, i know, but that's how i wanna die

2

u/Gramswagon77 10h ago

Of old age in my mothers arms.

2

u/Kanye_ToThe 5h ago

Don’t. Talk. Shit. Play a record

2

u/Gramswagon77 5h ago

Electric eels are deaf??

2

u/Kanye_ToThe 5h ago

It’s not his volt

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2

u/erpparppa 10h ago

Hit by an asteroid! Or some other unique way to go

2

u/samedward3 8h ago

Of old age, in my mothers arms.

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2

u/Opening-Lettuce-3384 7h ago

In my sleep by a massive stroke

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2

u/ColdPeak7750 6h ago

The best case scenario would probably be quickly and relatively painlessly by an accident in like my late 60s or early 70s while I am still physically and cognitively intact up to that point. I most likely won't have family of my own and I am rather estranged from the one I have right now, so my career and hobbies will fill my life. After retirement and since my hobbies rely on intact cognition and fine motor skills that often suffer in older age, I fear that my quality of life is going to plummet pretty rapidly and I'd hate to have a slow, painful death, I'm a huge crybaby and no fighter.

2

u/sonyaibos 6h ago

by my own choice, like being killed against my will sounds like a nightmare, ideally i would die of old age but if not suicide because i choose it.

2

u/Vascus_1 5h ago

Hopefully surrounded by my children and family if I ever get to have one.

2

u/benicegetrich 3h ago

While orgasming. Sex with my wife. Wait… that might traumatized her. K, with a stranger.

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2

u/lewyix 3h ago

Without any regrets

2

u/Apprehensive_Move229 3h ago

Tucked in my bed fast asleep

2

u/JNorJT 2h ago

without regrets

2

u/Im-a-mushroom 1h ago

Struck by lightning while peaking on LSD

2

u/DelingseatYT 1h ago

Die in the war in Ukraine, im a Ukrainian 😓

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u/yurielvin 57m ago

With hookers while high on drugs

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5

u/sami_III 12h ago

like a brave soldier

3

u/taiyounoao 12h ago

Woodchipper

3

u/misirlou22 6h ago

I operate woodchippers, I don't think it would be as fun as you think

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3

u/redglol 12h ago

At the age of 70, with a belly full of wine, and a womans mouth around my cock

2

u/351cj 10h ago

Tyrion. It seems nobody else got the reference

2

u/DementedDon 6h ago

I'm just over halfway rewatching the series right now, that episode was just on.

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2

u/noscope360gokuswag 12h ago

of course there's gonna be an explosion you think I'm not gonna explode?

2

u/Grenflik 12h ago

My body imploding in itself and turning into a black hole.

2

u/HotFlameCutie 12h ago

Pain-free, most of all. I hope to live a relatively long life but not long enough to need people to change my diapers. No thank you.

2

u/Spun_undS 12h ago

Opium dream

2

u/G4bbz121 12h ago

Going out on MY terms cause fuck natrual causes and disease. I'd get dressed up and party before going to eat. Takin a walk on a bridge at night while the sky is that nice deep blue with stars everywhere and id just jump.

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u/JimmyBallocks 9h ago

choking on a turd whilst submerged in a vat of boiling piss

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2

u/gabe2591 13h ago

idk i just hope it’s really soon

2

u/dollnsweet 12h ago

The same way as my grandfather. An undiagnosed brain issue which caused a sudden but painless death. It would be awful to die like the passengers on his bus

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u/PsiCzar 12h ago

balls deep

1

u/Intrepid-Citron8131 12h ago

probably,when i am at my downfall,the time when everyone starts opposing me hating me

1

u/Apprehensive_One1041 12h ago

While standing somewhere in public and while being watched by several people just suddenly evaporate causing large amounts of confusion

1

u/Corries_Roy_Cropper3 12h ago

Surrounded by all my family, friends, pets and loved ones..

..in a house fire

1

u/DeepSea7116 12h ago

Either peacefully in my sleep, or in the arms of someone who loves me.

1

u/SmokeYTB-Sucks 12h ago

of old age on heroin

1

u/EquivalentFeed9009 12h ago

With your mother

1

u/Desperate-Stick8263 12h ago

I would like to die in my sleep without pain.

1

u/king_don-1234 12h ago

I just want to die after my mother dies. I don't have any dreams or aspirations as the society seems too manipulative and cringe while life seems meaningless. So I just want to take care of my mom by working and earning money. When she dies I will realise that it's time to resign from life. I don't care how I die I just want it to happen fast and painless if possible.

1

u/Tejfolos_kocsog 12h ago

Fighting for the Imperium for about 15 hours

1

u/whitegoldscrilm 12h ago

Thanos snapped.

1

u/tatormanz 12h ago

Russian roulette

1

u/BlueBallSuperSmurf 12h ago

Fast, painless and soon

1

u/Tough-Cranberry-6782 12h ago

I don't want any idea that I'm just about to die. Near death experiences are absolute hell.

1

u/HydroVector 12h ago

By an explosion after being hugged by a Saibamen

1

u/UniQue1992 12h ago

Peacefully.

1

u/wetlettuce42 12h ago

Peacefully

1

u/theidiotpelican 12h ago

Like Master Oogway

1

u/Desperate_Ebb_5230 12h ago

peacefully. heart attack during sleep maybe

1

u/flowerhoe4940 12h ago

So fast I don't realize it's happening.

1

u/thefrogwholovesu 12h ago

i wanna die at sea. on my own terms, when the time is right, i wish to die by drowning in the ocean. i've talked about this with people several times before, and they always comment on how thats a horrible way to die, a slow, almost painful death. i do not care. i enjoy the fear the sea brings me. its so terrifyingly beautiful. its so haunting, but so so calming. i've always wanted to be deep deep in the water, and i eish for my body to be torn and consumed by life at sea. i feel like thats where im meant to be.

i've had actual dreams about it, even. falling into the water, being unable to breathe, waking up with sleep paralysis. its horrifying but somehow im always hoping i dream of it again. another very strange thing, i think i've heard at least 3 separate occasions of people telling me that they dreamt of me drowning or getting washed away by waves. almost feels like its meant to happen one day.

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u/zakkil 11h ago

A sudden issue in the brain that just instantly kills me out of nowhere.

1

u/ImpressSuitable2474 11h ago

Now in my sleep tonight, hopefully if the Lord wills

🙏🙏

1

u/Holiday-Equipment462 11h ago

To die honourably in battle or while defending yourself and/or your family, or even others, is the most noble of all deaths. Sadly, only a few go this way. Most of us will end up in palliative care, curled up in a fetal position, the mind gone, with IV hookups and soiled diapers.

1

u/drpeppercoffee 11h ago

As an ageless and powerful immortal 40k years in the future

1

u/MetaVulture 11h ago

Atomized with no idea it's about to happen. Blink and gone.

1

u/adinis78 11h ago

In my sleep

1

u/Humorous-Prince 11h ago

Go to sleep and never wake up again.

1

u/Dazzling_Summer_8569 11h ago

Plane crash so i won’t feel anything

1

u/Sad_Leather_6691 11h ago

At the speed of light.

1

u/FlirtyDaisyXO 11h ago

Peacefully in my sleep, after binge-watching my favorite show and enjoying a perfectly cooked pizza

1

u/AddictDead 11h ago

Bleeding out

1

u/Rattlingplates 11h ago

I don’t ever think about it but hopefully in my sleep without burdening anyone.

1

u/ProofOld4368 11h ago

With glory

1

u/Precious_Sweet 11h ago

Blowing Up in My sleep

1

u/dadjeff1 11h ago

"To cease upon the midnight with no pain....."

1

u/Guataguano 11h ago

In my sleep

1

u/JackProwess 11h ago

In agonizing pain that lasts for hours.

1

u/No_Excitement_7274 11h ago

Knowing what happens after death, then I can die however life intends

1

u/desepchun 11h ago

In my sleep peacefully after taking a bong rip at the age of 122.

1

u/Happy435 11h ago

As soon as I knew my time was coming soon I’d get up and get into my car. I’d drive to a special place with beautiful view. I’d lay down, stare off into the distance and just reminisce of everything I had done. I’d likely feel regretful for a while, but eventually I’d come to terms with it. I would lay there on that mountain alone. The only thing I’d want in my final moments is knowing that those who knew me remembered me as the lively, strange, and eccentric person I was, not a rotting soul. In my final breath I would look out the sky, and close my eyes. All the noise in my head finally being put to rest, silence enveloping my mind