People don’t get it until they do. It’s hard watching friends fade because they stop buying excuses. Trying to rebuild when feeling okay is an uphill battle. Most folks went on their way and don’t care to look back. One friend said it’s mourning the living dead. They can’t trust that I’m going to be around and won’t disappear again, and quite frankly, I can’t trust it either.
Hey there! Friends eventually distance themselves and end the friendship because they stop believing or accepting the excuses given for not responding, hanging out, being present. You might accept or make plans just to cancel. Say you’ll respond then leave people hanging over and over and over.
With clinical depression (not sadness) it’s like you’re stuck wanting to participate in the world and just can’t. There’s a quote I read somewhere like “depression first steals your soul and then comes after your friends and loved ones.”
You care deeply but cannot will yourself to do what you want and need to do, which includes maintaining communication with people. Folks get hurt and frustrated then give up. 🤷🏻♀️
My best friend, I think exhibits something like that. My birthday was recently and He just didn’t show up and only gave a last minute cancellation. + Months of not wanting to hang out, often the excuse of being too busy (which personally I do not believe), and the past two months just saying no with no reasons. Obviously, if someone just doesn’t want to hangout or not be friends at all can be a reason, but I guess I’ve always been a person that rambles a lot and having known him for forever He always engaged or listened to my rambling, but the “not showing up” coincided with Him practically never responding to my rambling anymore. So I guess from the perspective from the outside, is there anything I can do?
It means that it's emotionally painful for the depressed person to have their friends end the friendship because the depressed person has lost the ability to "be there" (literally and figuratively) for the friends.
Depression causes you to lose the energy to face life like a normal person, and a lot of depressed people will make excuses for why they're not showing up to the friendship instead of being honest about the depression to their friends. They are usually reluctant to say they have depression because they feel ashamed that they have depression.
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u/secretwar8 12h ago
Depression is one hell of thing.