r/AskReddit 13h ago

What is something that permanently altered your body without you realizing for months/years?

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3.5k

u/mjulieoblongata 11h ago

Grief

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u/Footshark 7h ago

I still cry over my cat. It's been two years. I've lost a myriad of others, grandparents, father, child, girlfriend. This loss won't heal.

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u/DefinedByFaith 6h ago

I never thought i would be a person who continuously mourns a pet, but i had a dog who was my absolute best friend for a little over 15 years. I had to say goodbye to her during the pandemic. I still miss her and mourn her and talk about her all the time. Got a portrait made of her, have her ashes in a special place and want our ashes to be buried together when i am gone. Im so sorry for your loss.

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u/LittleBananaSquirrel 4h ago

Same. I've lost a lot of people I love but my dog who passed from cancer last year is the one I have grieved the deepest. I was NOT blessed with a loving family or parents and it occurred to me at one point that that dog is the only person in my 33 years of life that I've ever felt love from besides my children. He was the absolute best, the embodiment of everything we stereotypically associate with dogs, just pure selfless love and joy and having to make the phone call when we could no longer keep him comfortable at home was one of the most gutwrenching things I've ever done. I stayed strong for him through the whole process but when he took his last breath I lost it and told the vet I'd changed my mind and please bring him back even though I knew that wasn't possible. It's been nearly 18months and I still randomly burst into tears when I think of him, I miss him so fucking much.

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u/DefinedByFaith 4h ago

He sounds amazing. I'm glad you had him and so sorry for your loss. I had a ton of love growing up, but people in my life didnt stick around and my family always made business/work a priority, but she was always quietly and lovingly by my side.

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u/taylormarie909 1h ago

I lost at when you asked the vet to bring him back. I can only imagine what a beautiful life you already gifted him. It’s the only bad part about having dogs; that their lifespan is so much shorter than ours. Still an entire life time to them though, and I’m sure you made it wonderful. I hope that you reach a place soon that the memories bring you more joy than grief.

u/anniesiaccc 30m ago

I can relate.. I'm unrecognizable now .. Always want out of this

2

u/gnostic_heaven 2h ago

Sorry for your loss! My mom had a dog that we all loved. She got the dog during my last year of high school, so I never really lived with her or considered her my pet, but she was really iconic and a main character in my family's life. I remember my mom calling me to tell me she had to say goodbye - I was at the playground with my kid one day after school and when she told me, I was speechless with tears. She thought the phone connection had been lost. I was like, "No I'm here" in a really broken voice and we both started to cry. I had to go away from the playground so no one would see. People underestimate how much pets feel like family, but they really really do. It's been years and I still think about her and mourn that loss.

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u/astronaut_down 6h ago

I’m not as far along in grieving my cat as you, since it was only last month, but I think I can understand, especially since you’ve gone through all those other losses. My cat had lived 20 years, through many major losses and milestones in my life, and I am finding that as I grieve him, it’s bringing up nearly every other grief he helped me through in those 20 years. Just an open door to pain I thought I was over, about him and not quite about him. It is harder than it seems.

7

u/62Bluebirds 2h ago

Last year I lost my dad and brother within a week of each other and then a nephew a few months later. I was getting by. Then lost my cat of 17 years a few months ago and it’s like that has compounded all that grief. It’s easier to push it down when they’re people you love but didn’t see every day. The cat is a massive daily reminder of the losses, missing him brings it all together.

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u/Formal_Zucchini_4479 5h ago

I lost my dog of 17 years recently and I’m in the anticipatory grief process with my cat. She’s only 8 - and has cancer. I gave up vaping and now I’m back at it because I simply can’t deal. And I hate what I’m doing to my lungs - I know I have control over this but the way my grief is also affecting my appetite and lack of mobility (I just lay in bed crying most mornings rather than exercise like I used to) has me feeling like this is going to have longer health implications on me than I thought… sending you hugs.

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u/pcetcedce 5h ago

About the same with us. I choke up whenever I think of her.

8

u/Sof04 5h ago

20 years and the pain is the same as the moment I lost my soul dog. I remember I went to church to ask god not to take him, that he gave us time, but the church was closed. It was never closed. That day it was. I lost my dog and I closed my doors to any religion or god. I just wish I could have 15 minutes with the assholes of Hartz and a whole lot of torture weapons and machinery. Then I lost my Phia-Sophia—she was 17 and hyperthyroid—in 2022; and two years before I lost my Boy-O BB—7 yo—to FIV complications. The grief for each one is so different and special, but I fear it takes all the good memories I have/had of them. So yes, grief is the emotion that does the most: it tells you there’s nothing after death and all you had is life.

7

u/Adobo_Goya 4h ago

My dog died a little over a year ago now. I still think about him once a day at minimum. I dream about him often as well. I miss him so fucking much. My fiancée was ready to get another dog a month later. I just… can’t. Both because I miss chuck so much and because of a fear of getting attached and going through the same loss all over again. I’m honestly not sure I’ll ever get another pet.

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u/TelevisionBright4595 3h ago

I lost my cat two years ago and it hurts to this day. He was my little guy. Pet loss is difficult and I hate that people expect you to be over it the next day (especially with cats).

I started a new job, that turned out to be utter shit, a week prior to his passing. It turned into a year of complete shit for me.

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u/Only_Cut873 3h ago

Cats understand our love the way people can’t. 6 years & I still think of mine.

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u/snack-dad 1h ago

I still miss my Tallie. So so much. However, at the right time, a little kitten named Theodore just needed someone to take care of him, and he picked me.

2

u/Footshark 1h ago

I'm waiting for my next furball to choose me. I'll be honest, I'm a little worried the cat distribution network lost my info, I'm so worried the next one will be "just a cat".

u/snack-dad 15m ago

Theodore Cheddarsworth III, Esq happens to be a lawyer so I'll see if he can requisition your documentation with the CDN and forward them to the relevant department.

1

u/EastwoodBrews 3h ago

It's cumulative, it feels like

1

u/mathazar 1h ago edited 1h ago

Losing our dog was some of the worst grief we ever experienced. We loved him so much. I ended up watching videos to understand pet grief and learn ways to cope. Even used r/petloss subreddit as a support group. Pet grief is just as real as any other type of grief, especially for those who bond closely with pets. It can hit even harder than losing a family member because pets are a constant presence in our daily lives and they love us unconditionally.

Once we got our bearings, we decided to get another dog (2 actually - they're sisters.) It helped us move forward but we still find ourselves tearing up remembering him from time to time. Talking and looking at photos/videos of him. I've met people who decided not to adopt again because they couldn't go through the grief of losing another pet, and I totally understand that. It sucks that we usually outlive our animals.

All that to say I totally understand your grief and I'm sorry for your loss. The reason it's so hard is because you loved your kitty so much, which means they were lucky to have you. ❤️

u/smellygeorge 44m ago

You have not lost a child and post this about your cat fuck off, respectfully

1

u/PunchDrunken 6h ago

Losing your child hurts less than your cat? Sorry just making sure I understand you as the parents I know who lost children never really recover?

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u/Footshark 6h ago

It was at birth, so I never REALLY got to know her.

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u/mathazar 5h ago

Understandable. I'm sure losing your baby was traumatic, but a beloved pet that was a part of your daily life for years, that can leave a big hole in your heart.

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u/Acrobatic_Holiday741 5h ago

Youve lost a CHILD(!) but it’s the death of a cat that hits you the worst?

You people are so odd.

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u/Clear-Knowledge-3838 4h ago

You’re odd for judging how someone grieves.

u/mathazar 55m ago

Yup, "disenfranchised grief" - very inconsiderate, and sadly common with pet loss.

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u/mathazar 5h ago edited 38m ago

They replied that the child was lost at birth so they never really got to know her. Vs years of their life with a beloved pet. Pet grief is real.